What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.

A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.

Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.

Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.

She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.

No, thank you.😆

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill Gates

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

"Linux is only free if your time has no value." - Jamie Zawinski

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution." - Robert Sewell

"QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv." - Bill Sempf

"Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic

"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V Berard

"Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time." - N.J. Rubenking

Best random algorithm

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

My experience with random generators so far ...

"Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders." - Unknown

I haven't told anyone I know yet but yesterday I got a call from a user and she asked me if I could come down and take a look at some software I support. I did and fixed the issue.
She then asked if I could take a look at her computer because help desk and PC team had tried to fix and couldn't.

5 minutes later I fixed it (every site she went to gave cert error in both chrome and ie). I stood up and there was a couple seconds of me and her just facing each other not saying anything. She was smiling ear to ear the whole time. (This issue was weeks old I think). Then she walks towards me......

And hugs me.

Random memories

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not." - Yogi Berra

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime." - Michael Sinz

"Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork." - Sam Ewing

One day, someone at Google decided that what their search engine was really missing was a dice rolling tool, complete with text that says 'Rolling...'

Stocks are up 600% since then.

"Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay

How to stay positive

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." - Mitch Ratcliffe

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems." - Jamie Zawinski

Nein nein nein nein

Does anyone else feel like progress bars increase at random intervals and then stop at 99% until its actually done?

The place where I work part time, my role is to teach children how to code basic things in python, html and CSS.
There's a child who's been coming to this club for the past year, she's only 8 and is smarter than any other child I've seen in person.
Turns out both her parents are developers which is why she has an interest in coding too. It's so refreshing to see things like these, honestly. I hope my child in the future is like her lol.

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

Why I love devRant:
You'll never receive bad or degrading comments.

If I post a picture of my hairy ass here, the comments would be like:
"There are good sides of having excessive hair."

At home I am root. At work I am at the mercy of incompetent monkeys and their shoddy restrictive systems...

Anyone else?

"C++ : Where friends have access to your private members." - Gavin Russell Baker

Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?

The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.

Just another day at the beach...I mean office.

"You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first-born child." - James O. Coplien

Male to male wires with Gay Pride colours on them FTW!

Today a friend tried to zoom in on a paper map that I had put on the table...

Had a random dream last night where different JavaScript Frameworks were different flavour ice creams. No matter which one I tried I kept coming back to vanilla...

A programmer once explained Nietzsche like this:
A long time ago, god created the world, but forgot to leave a developer documentation, thus the whole world was like legacy code...
And humans are like the end user of this world, and some among them spent time studying it, using the Moral API, hoping to get a result of "http 200 ok" from our world for the peace of mind. But the true operation of this world is still yet unknown...
As time passes, humans begin to find that in Moral API, good and evil are two base classes, and all the other moral properties (like ethic, justice and stuff) are just other classes based on those two classes through multiple inheritance.
One day, when programmer Nietzsche was observing the world's runtime behavior, he came up with a question:
"Did god really use good and evil as base classes? Could it be that they are actually derived classes?"
Most of the world is currently in the favor of mankind, and god must've wrote individual user cases for it's end users, he thought.
This made Nietzsche thinking: if end users are considered into two cases: the strong and the weak, how would the world be designed base on its user story?
Let's think about the strong, they can bully the weak as they please, and there's nothing the weak can do to stop them. In this case whether the Moral API exists or not doesn't fulfill the need of the strong.
But when it comes to the weak, Nietzsche thinks that because the weak cannot fight the strong, they need to belittle bullying and praise the strong for being nice. When the weak does this, it covers their powerless state to some extent, making them look somehow equal to the strong by being capable of commenting.
God might have coded the Moral API to fit the weak's requirement, also adding some public methods for the weak to comment on the strong. If the strong takes care of the weak, they call him nice and good, if the strong bullies people, they call him bad and evil.
That's when Nietzsche realized, that good and evil are both derived classes from the weak, and the base class should be the strong and the weak.
Then he started a series of studies about the Moral API, and got some thesis that persuaded lots of other end users...

It's that time of the year :")

Windows CMD Russian Roulette:

If %RANDOM%==13 del "C:\"

I was thinking about writing a poem generator as a project to have some fun, and I thought about using machine learning to do that. But before diving into it I tried to implement a very simple and basic one, that just throws random words. Most of them were meaningless, but some made sense... Who said randomness and chaos can never generate harmony ? B-)

getRandomNumber... :)

Being able to reproduce a random bug is an art!

Random post on linkedin...

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

Being a generalist does not make you a master of none.

You are at a position to apply your diverse yet relevant experiences into a singular objective. This makes you strategic and holistic.

A jack of all trades, a master of integration.

I don't know why i laughed at this... Is it because PHB said pie hole?

Random, funny :)

"If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in." - E. W. Dijkstra

Random number... 😂😂😂😂

Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.

I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!

What do you think?

P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment

What a rewarding weekend!

Not once did I touch my laptop :)

Sorry, that was meant for RANDOM.. My bad

A random number generator in my code just gave "0000". I even thought that could be some bug and was investigating. How cool is that?

random, non-devrant

Me searching for some random ideas.

Case 1
Me - I want to create something.
Friend - Can you hack into ... ?
Me - No, bye

Case 2
Me - I want to create something.
Bro - I also want to create one awesome project
Me - Ok, cool

Case 3
Me - I want to create something
Mom - Come, help me with preparation for dinner.
Me - *I have been trapped* Nice move

Got introduced to devrant earlier today and am absolutely loving it all

When I'm bored in a useless meeting, I try to guess how much that meeting just cost the company for nothing.
Today I got to 2000€ for 1hour meeting

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." - Rick Osborne

Just heard at the coffee machine: "Well, does that mean I'm not allowed to use Trump's quotes to seed the random numbers generator?"

I'm considering shutting down all my social media profiles. I can't be bothered with any of them especially since most of the social media platforms has a lot of nut heads. I'd rather be on devrant than any other social media platform.

Pls send help. I having problems with following code:

Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();

Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);

while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}

ass.detach(toilet);

// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." - Confucius

"PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." - Jon Ribbens

"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." - Fred Brooks

I forgot yesterday was my birthday, until my sister called me and wished me a happy birthday.

There is a function for creating random numbers.
So with the same inputs , I must get the same output.
So it is somewhat predictable.
So it is not actually random!

Am I tight?

this short-circuit bug is not an option lols

Random profesional behavior reminder:

The fact that you're obviously from a minority doesn't automatically make you non-racist. Specially, it doesn't give you immunity for being racist towards other minorities.

Just saying! Be racist outside of office hours, if you can. Or just... Keep that shit to yourself. 💩

"On two occasions I have been asked, ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.'" - Charles Babbage

"Not enough random bytes available". Whaaat? How? I don't uderstand?

Random shower thought: A sticky note is like a manual version of git stash.

Girls are like a ‪‎internet domain name‬
ones you like are already taken.
Developers have more suffering than others.

When you replace all PC fans with Noctua 6dB pieces and the noise-maker becomes your 3TB WD Red...

I've never thought I'll want to get rid of my hdd because of noise

*wrong tag. My bad

I absolutely hate software that throws error message boxes that look identical to their "please enter new password" message box.

User called and said they needed their password reset. I give them a temp pin and tell them to press ok to the prompt and then put new password in. She says it is still saying invalid pin. This goes on for 10 minutes. I hang up and try on my laptop. Works fine. Then it hits me.

The message boxes look the same. Have the same width and height and shitty little yellow triangle with ! In the middle. The only difference between them is the text in size 9 font.

Gotta read people...cause sometimes the people developing your software assume you can. And to all the software people out there....end users don't want to fucking read.

!!random

This kind of random stuff happens to me often:

*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.

My brain can be weird and annoying.

This happened yesterday. It was a Friday and I didn't have much time to implement something that I was asked.

I was supposed to get the cpu temperature from a host device and send it to the server. Instead I just used random.randint(x,y) (python random function) with x,y linearly dependent on cpu utilisation (cpu utilisation is easy to get).

The ability to generate random numbers on fly has to be on of the coolest things that you can do. You can almost fake anything using them properly 😅

Do you guys know about the Windows 10 operating system?

I highly recommend it.

It is so easy to get done whatever you want in just a few clicks or.. several.

It has a great web browser called Internet Explorer that comes pre-installed with it. If you love animations, it will even sometimes show you that beautiful loading animation for as long as it wants. If you have a habit of wasting time on the Internet, it will intelligently slow things down and become unresponsive to help you get rid of that bad habit. It's just that great.

It has a lot of great features pre-enabled for you like sending data to Microsoft to improve your experience on a personal level. The operating system cares so much about you, unlike other operating systems that represent a flightless bird.

It's so smart, it even keeps you from doing stupid things like customizing the operating system. It makes sure that you live in the given box and don't break anything. So caring, right?!

At random times, it shows you a blue screen and a sad face to remind you that life can be sad at times but you gotta keep going. It is profound.

It comes with great useless software that you absolutely don't even need! How great is that!

I use Windows 10 and I recommend that you do too.

Have a good day..

"We know about as much about software quality problems as they knew about the Black Plague in the 1600s. We’ve seen the victims’ agonies and helped burn the corpses. We don’t know what causes it; we don’t really know if there is only one disease. We just suffer — and keep pouring our sewage into our water supply." - Tom Van Vleck

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." - Brian Kernighan

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice." - Richard Moore

I have this interesting client who likes to end the weekly call with a prayer. Once he asked if I wanted to lead the prayer. I said, “No I’m good thanks. You should do it.”

When I get bored I just make random websites about something weird like hot dogs or sheeps.

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

Cell phone wifi usage...go!

Installers that copy files into a default directory without letting me change the installation path.. fuck whoever does that!

When you see your code 2 weeks later and you don't understand it.
//FirstRant

Random fact #1

AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) was producing Intel 8080 clones (AMD Am9080) before developing own CPUs. Originally they were produced without Intel license. This clone was developed basing on pictures of Intel 8080 itself and pictures of logic diagrams. These processors were much cheaper than the original model. Later AMD and Intel came up with agreement and the Am9080 was fully licensed making AMD official second party vendor.

And yeah, few years later and we got a war between two of those giants. Remember when in mid 2000s AMD almost beat the Intel marketshare?

Bonus Fact: there is AMD logo on Ferrari Formula 1 cars since 2002 (look at the front wing)

Got a dental crown a couple of weeks ago. I still have pain. Decided to ask google.. was not disappointed by the suggestion

TL;DR - Girlfriend wanted to learn coding, I might have scared her off.

Today, my girlfriend said she wants to learn coding.
Me: why?
She: well, all these data science lectures are recommending Python and R.
Me: Ok. But, are you interested in coding?
She: No, but I think I have to learn.
Me: Hmm.. coding requires a clear thought process, and we should tell the computer exactly what needs to be done.
She: I think I can do that.
Me: Okay... then tell the computer to think and give a random number between 1 to 10.
She: I will use that randint function. (She has basic knowledge in C)
Me: Nope. You write your own logic to make the computer think.
She: What do you mean?
Me: If I were you... Since it is just a single digit number.. I would capture the current time and would send the last digit of milliseconds @current time.
She: Oh yeah, that's cool. Understood! I will try...
" " "
We both work in same office.. so, we meet up for lunch

" " "

I didn't ask about it, but she started,
She: Hmm, I thought about it, but I was not able to think of any solution. May be its not my cup of tea.

I felt bad for scaring her off... :(

Anyway, what are some other simple methods to generate random numbers like OTPs. I am interested in simple logics, which you have thought of..not the Genius algorithms we have in predefined libraries.

"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. " - Donald Knuth

Today I had to write a unit test to test a method that internally used a random number generator...

Aha
Ahaha
Ahahaha
My test was literally just assertNotNull...

Random

This is random stuff.
I wonder what would happen if an innocent new user unknowingly reports a rant written by @dfox or by @trogus themselves.🤔
Maybe a beautiful post or maybe a nice email like
"Dear @... you might not have realized but @trogus and @dfox are the creators of devRant"

I was on a flight yesterday and I had my Bluetooth headset on me. As the flight was taking off, it happened to pick up what seemed like a cockpit conversation. It was pretty darn strange and kind of freaked me out. It kept me awake till we landed and has now messed up my sleep too.

Code + Coffee + Music = Awesomeness!

#random

Hey DevRant fam! Hope you are all doing very well wherever you may be. This is not a dev related post but just something i wanted to get off my chest , 20 minutes ago I watched the movie “night school” along side my brother. I was sat down along side two girls on my left and i thought “hey they seem nice” in my mind.

Well i was wrong - throughout parts of the movie she would randomly turn to give me a weird look, as if i was something else? Unfortunately i suffer from eczema and really cant help it and have to undergo treatment monthly and with that comes bullying and judgement from randoms.

What really broke me was that she had the nerves to comment loudly to her friend right next to her about me, say things like “ damn is he ugly “ and many things along those lines, and also about how i ate my pringles? Like hey i love my pringle chips!.

At the end, movie done, my brother is happy I’m happy(not really) we both got up the two random girls walked in front and just gave me this weird stare and had to judge me by the way i walked, thats a whole other issue but i just wish they would have the thought- how would you feel if you put yourself in my position and have to go through my emotions you put me through because you wouldn’t think before you speak ? :-( well thats not everything but some of what i have to deal with unfortunately - sorry this is so long.

Hope all is good for everyone- thank you ☺️

Milo

Random features...

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration." - E. W. Dijkstra

"Information is cheap, meaning is expensive." - George Dyson

You ever can't figure out how to do something elegantly during the day, end up with a weird hack. But then when you are home and are lying on the couch browsing memes the perfect solution pops into your head?

Companies should give us thinking couches where you can slack off waiting for the idea.

The DST Effect

I actually took that last one first. So uhm... I traveled back in time?

I just learnt abt Stadia from Google!
They said “imagine a world where you don’t need expensive gaming hardware to play the next release.”

But my question is “will I need an expensive service to access that?”
Is it gonna be another Netflix thingy for game? For now I’m just thinking abt how much they’d charge for hosting the game on their server, wow.

Yesterday I saw a pretty forked up repo.

I wonder how many people here would be interested in doing a big video conference/ chat on something like riot.im or discord

I was about to write a well-thought rant.
Forgot when I opened this window.
Think m getting old

"In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is." - Jeff Atwood

Seriously, wtf..

- Getting ready for the K.I.D.
- Will need a red LED light/lantern to see things around w/o waking the kiddo up
- Order a bunch of various models
- Receive some of them
- The another one arrives - it only has white and blueish-white modes
- Reach out to the seller, ask to send me what I've ordered
- Seller replies with:
> Hi, friend
> I am very sorry this light is out of stock now

WTF dude... I order a particular SKU of your products, I need it for its particular properties the other SKUs don't have and when you see you've got no more left you do what? Send me a random product? Seriously, WTF man?!? How about ping me with a message, explain that you've oversold the item and suggest a refund? naaah, too much work, right? Just grab whatever products you still have left on your shelf and send them to your customer instead. /s

WTF MAN?!?!

Perfect way for generating random string...

.......

why TF is it working.

How random number generators work

So true and why I've gone on and on over years saying technical interviews are just crap... Good solutions cannot be thought of in 30mins unless you recite what you remembered beforehand.

Are you looking for creators and thinkers or robots

!dev

I'm doing some solo karaoking again but with some oldies that I haven't sung in probably 10-15 years. Not my usual song track.

And since I'm deaf, I can't hear the tune, just see the timed words. And just found it interesting the general tune can be recalled at first at all.

Then after a few times, I started remembering how some of the actual singers sound like. But still stumble a bit on some parts.

And then a few weeks. And I have another session and somehow I can pretty much lip sync it with all the emotions and almost perfectly I think.

I just found it strange and wanted to write this down somewhere while I still remember it. And I guess that's sorta the point. Feels like the mind/subconscious to remember things really well but recalling them at either the right moment or randomly....

Anyone else have similar experiences? Wanna share?

So hard to obtain. So easy to lose.
Sometimes I think users are like sperms 🤔

What's the point of a farewell email at work?

Just got another today from a random guy we don't really know with his # and personal email.

The only thing I can think of doing with it is feeding it to a spambot?

Your body needs REST and SOAP both

~ Random

I haven't really known what to post. But I've decided not to care about being relevant or care about the like count. I'm a very competitive person so things like like count tend to effect the way I see the quality of a post.

I want devRant to be a place where I can be honest and feel safe even if I don't get the validation I sometimes wish I had. And hey maybe someone will think my opinions or thoughts are interesting.

So let's start with a little about me. I'm a 17 year old kid that loves programming. I work full time as a full stack web developer and I'm really the only web person. The current system is built on WordPress because of fucking course it is. I don't like it but I gotta keep it user friendly for less techy people to manage. No one likes have all minor changes and tweaks having to go through one person when they could do it themselves. So I manage.

I'd say my passion is more backend development but I do love having a pretty UI to display the results.

I've struggled with mental health the past few years but I'm doing much better. Even just last week I had an anxiety attack during a social event. I came here for the community and I do enjoy it, but I'm gonna try to make it an outlet. My best friend went off to university and I don't really have any IRL friends I can just be me around.

I don't have anything special to say. But if you read this thank you for listening to some random kid on the internet. I hope you have a great day.

"We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil." - C. A. R. Hoare

How hard is it for people to wait for a couple of seconds to allow the person inside the elevator to exit before they start entering in?
I feel like pushing them outside as soon as they start entering it but then again, i have to act professionally at work even though the other person is a douche.

That moment on Devrant that someone thinks your comment is a vigenère, while it actually was some random generated text in my pocket while cycling home.

devRant is awesome! :)

Random.

Don't see this everyday.

git stash poop

SO is paying bonus

You are what you code.

To learn what recursion is, we must first understand recursion.

One of my websites is under a brute attack.

If I were to redirect failed logins to an illegal website (drugs, child pornography, terrorism support, etc...), will the feds come after me? Or will they go after the attacker?

I made a pseudo random number generator in assembly. Feels pretty cool

"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law." - Hofstadter’s Law

Got that random urge to wipe the PC and start again. Idk why

The biggest challenge I face at work is having to sit in one place and work all day. Office feels like a prison. I miss working from home.

Didn’t want people staring at a random coding problem so I converted the board to something relevant to the event hehe

Worst dev technology....early versions of Android studio. Dreadful.

Random Tip (since ppl don't seem to know)

Dark Reader chrome extension
turns everything to dark theme
works on devrant too, although their native dt is better

not sure about firefox

Not really a rant and not very random. More like a very short story.

So I didn't write any rant regarding the whole Microsoft GitHub topic. I don't like to judge stuff quickly. I participated in few threads though.

Another thing is I also don't use GitHub very much apart from giving 🌟 to repos as a bookmark. Have one hobby project there. That's all. So I don't worry that much. I'm that selfish and self concerned. :3

I was first introduced to version control system by learning how to use tortoisesvn around 2008. We had a group project and one of the guys was an experienced and amazing programmer unlike the rest of us. He was doing commercial projects while we were at our 1st and 2nd year. Uni had svn repo server. He taught us about tortoisesvn. He also had Basecamp and taught us how to use it as well. So that's how I learned the benefits of using versioning tools and project management tools. On side note, our uni didn't teach any of those in detail :3

After that project, I was hooked to use versioning tools. So until school kicked me out, I was able to use their svn server. When I was on my own, I had to ask Google for help. I found a new world. There are still free svn services that I can use with certain limited functions. That's not the new world; I found people saying how git is better than svn in various ways. It was around 2010,2011.

At first I was a bit reluctant to touch git because of all the commands in terminal approach. But then I found that there is tortoisegit. I still thank tortoisesvn creator for that. I'm a sucker for GUI tools. So then I also have to pick which git servers to use. Hell yeah, self hosted gitlab is the way to go man. Well that's what the internet said. So I listened. I got it up and running after numerous trial and error. I used it briefly. Then I came back to my country on 2012-2013; the land of kilobytes per minute (yes not second, minute).

My country's internet was improved only after 2016. So from 2013 to 2016, I did my best not to rely on internet. I wasn't able to afford a server at my less than 10 people, 12ft*50ft office. So I had to find alternative to gitlab which preferably run on windows. Found bonobo and it was alright. It worked. Well had crazy moments here and there when the PC running Bonobo got virus and stuff. But we managed. We survived. Then finally multi national Telecom corporates came to our country.

We got cheaper and faster mobile data, broadband and fiber plans. Finally I can visit pornhub ... sorry github. Github is good. I like it. But that doesn't mean I should share my ugly mutated projects to the rest of the world. I could keep using Bonobo but it has risks. So I had to think for an alternative. I remembered that gitlab didn't have cloud hosting service when I checked them out in the past. So I just looked into Bitbucket and happy with their free plans of 5 users and unlimited private repos. I am very very cheap and broke.

That's why I said I don't really care that much about the whole M$GitHub topic at the beginning. However due to that topic, I have visited GitLab website again and found out they have cloud hosting now and their free plan is unlimited users and unlimited repos. So hell yeah. Sorry BB. I am gonna move to cheaper and wider land.

TL;DR : I am gonna move to GitLab because of their free plan.

When the guy with his master's who's job you were told you weren't qualified for performed the following all in one query:
1. A massive many to many join on a 4 million row table.....to itself on in inner query through a linked server.
2. Decides to try and join this massive inner query (see step 1) to another table on a second many to many join.
3. Writes a function for month. Yes instead of month(literallyadate)

Then this guy emails me to ask if I can optimize it because we yelled at him for trying to insert 216 GB of data into a table (again on a massive many to many joined disaster). We told him if a query was taking more than 40 minutes we needed to see it.

I regret saying that now...should have just bought more space ;)

(short story)

happened a couple of months ago. I was drawing some diagrams on the board -- planning new infra for the app. While explaining all this to the analyst I needed some random number. It was smth like 1470285206. Half an hour later I need another random number. And I again come up with the same exact sequence....

It was both funny and spooky at the same time. Apparently my biological RNG is utterly broken.. Either that or my subconsciousness wants to tell me something about an early morning of 2016 Aug 4.

So this very random thought pop up just now.

What if Satoshi is on devrant? 🤔

how to make coffee

Why does every app assume I work out of C:\Users\Ben? It doesn't even show up in windows explorer by default? And since when is my documents used to store random metadata? I have been storing pdfs and word documents there for years ???

Status of Internet Connection in our office located in Baku. Probably there is some guy downloading torrent in office. I will catch you today...

I keep seeing more people here working with asm and highly constrained hardware.

So I am curious. Does anyone else here actually use ed for their text editing needs?

Two different type of people in the world

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

"Sure, our competitors will laugh. Let them laugh so hard that they cannot breathe." - Sam Ward

How the hell people read so fast ;-;

For me reading metro 2033 took 2 weeks, and since o was bored these days and my pc was dead, i was reading it around 14-16 hours per day....

Im never gonna finish c++ book i would love to finish...

people ask me what language im good in, i said python.. they asked me to say a few words, i said
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

!rant, !dev, random thought

We live in the past. Everything we call the present has already happened, we just aren't immediately aware of it.

For example, if the sun suddenly exploded, we would live for ~8 mins thinking nothing had happened. On the human scale, this still holds although the delays are much smaller. (also, the sun isn't where it appears to be :D)

Our senses deceive us 😯

Open to criticism :) just thought it was an interesting thought.

Meanwhile...

[installs everything like a fucking nimrod]

Task: Use random string in url to prevent cache.
Me: `<script src="lightbox.js?random"></script>`

Thank you, git reflog. Thank you.

I just reallized I've done so much photo editing that I made a few tools for it in different apps.

So this morning in a flash of insight, I've made a single app that consolidates them all...

Basically it's just a window that opens all the others by referencing those projects... That was probably the fastest I've ever written an app... other than Hello World.

I can't tell if i am lazy, efficient, or organized... (i couldnt put this in the tag because of the commas)

Yo the developers I see on Instagram are doing 100days of code with 3/4 monitors along with a laptop and tablet side by side. rich af lol. seems like a show off but idk.may be im saying that cause i can't currently afford it lol.

believe me,
when your companies non-technical HOD(marketing), start a discussion with you on topics like Elon Musk and other hot topics in the technical world.
It feels good
2 hours no code just discussion on fav topics.

Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First world problems - approaching 50k rep on Stackoverflow (well, currently on 46k.) Would quite like to get to 50k. But my days of enjoying procrastinating on there are long gone.

Sadly, so are most of the good questions it seems.

Anyone else still answer random questions on there for fun? Or has everyone else pretty much given up with it too?

Most unlikely / random thing that happend to you while using your computer (programming/designing/playing)

"If you see a snake, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes." - H. Ross Perot

"Sometimes magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect." - Raymond Joseph Teller

I find it so unbelievably satisfying to see trend patterns in the client launches from the user's that use my mod. Basically, every week the number of people using it grow, but it keeps the same rhythm.

Sunday most people of the week, Monday least people of the week; then building up to Sunday every day a little more. BUT then there's Thursday where a few people are taking an early night or something.

I guess the satisfying part is just that, however, how random and unique everyone thinks that they are. In a crowd - everyone together - shows a lot of patterns and similarities.

Random thought....

crazyness

code is emotional because it represents ideas, collaboration, and hard work. On the other hand, code is completely cold, instructional, and meaningless.

I think both of these are true.

I have a random question. Does it make me a less of a developer if I say no to a embedded side project proposed by a friend?
I mean I'm all into side projects n building something cool but hardware and embedded stuff isn't something I like or feel passionate about.

!rant

I asked for Razer blade 15 base model for work purpose, considering about Ethernet port and all... Then my boss ordered 2TB option. Should I have asked for advanced model from the start? 😕

if($user->dead()){
$user->redirect('heaven');
}

We are all just objects in a Giant program called life

Don't You Hate It When People Capitalise First Letter Of Every Word In A Sentence?

I'm going through a rough time in my relationship, switching my job next month and moving to a new place because I didn't have shit to do at my current job and I just always felt like I was wasting my time at this job. I've been feeling very low and unsatisfied with my life over the past few months. It feels as if I'm constantly abusing myself in my mind, comparing myself to my older self and my past when things were better both professionally and personally for me. I don't feel motivated to work on my personal projects or learn anything new. I don't know what to do anymore or where to get motivation from. It almost feels like the part inside of me which I liked the most is dead. I don't understand what's wrong with me.

"You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." - Andy Warhol

In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.

This rant exsists for @ReportBot's logging.

I do not recommend commenting on this unless you want to be spammed with notifications

worst part of programming is knowing what needs to happen, having an idea of the logic that needs to run, but having absolutely no idea how to get that logic implemented.

Been staring at my screen for 30 minutes at this point starting to type a function, then deleting it realizing that method won't work, trying another one before deleting that one as well, over and over and over again

I'm about to just close this damn thing and play Minecraft for an hour, maybe a mindless Minecraft break will help.

Lets share the best thing we've ever learnt (strictly related to dev)...
I'll start -> Best thing I've learnet is lambda programming. (Java)

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

Random thought, is Tower of Pisa the reason why the italic font style is slant?

How did you choose your career?

Random variation of how we learn based off a colleague.

1. I dont know what the fuck to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on
2. I don't know what the fuck to do, i know whats going on
3. I know whats going on, i know what to do
4. I know what to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on

Haha, i love my job, the place where devs play solitair with their Trello cards

How do you manage your relationship with you partner and work like?

I like going to random Google subdomains. Today I had a typo when seeing where "timer.google.com" goes, but I later learned I had a made a typo, and typed "timex." Well, looks like a great time to buy a watch.

Just opened Telegram to read new messages from a random group in which I was added by a total random guy. Saw that guy asking for some help on how he could get more free RAM in his phone for whatever reasons. Then saw this fucking asshole writing dumb shit instead of helping him and everybody is now praising him like God. I thought of telling that dick what he's upto, but just left that fucking group of morons immediately.

is there a swiftkey like typing expirience for code?

Three Mac related rants in a row, coincidence?

Random thought:

A programming language or an OS which will you rather have to your name.

How does random number generation work? I'm curious. What are different methods in which you can generate random numbers?

If you could link me to an article or some docs, that'd be appreciated. How far does your understanding of it go?

Thanks for your time.

Waiting till 2 hours after midnight to make sure I get <firstname>.dev in the auction.

Luckily I have wine and Youtube

So back to the stories of the gentleman with his master's degree who's job I wasn't qualified for. Hope you all enjoy this gem I found in his stored procedure.

Select distinct *
From(
Select * from a inner join b on a.id=b.id
Union
Select * from a full join b on a.id=b.id
Where b.id is null
)

An inner join unioned to a full join where you exclude null values in right table creates a.....left join you fucking idiot!

So what’s so great about vim, everyone keeps talking about it.

"If all else fails, [working harder than anyone else] is the greatest competitive advantage of any career." - John C Jay

"Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others." - Brandon Mull

So, I just recieved a welcome email from bit.ac, with my email and a random generated password. The fact is that, I have never registered on this website. Did someone just registered with my email? Or maybe it's a new marketing strategy, to collect emails from another databases and send them emails, "reminding" them their email and a random generated password, so that who recieve the email, to be confused and to access the website to see what is all about,resulting that the company gets more traffic & eventually new possible customers?

Api spamming is another form of DDoS. Isn't it?

When they handover your codes to some arrogant developer, and the guy starts complaining in almost every small feature.

At least get some time to understand other people's psychology and coding style man!