What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.

A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.

Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.

Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.

She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill Gates

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

"Linux is only free if your time has no value." - Jamie Zawinski

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution." - Robert Sewell

"QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv." - Bill Sempf

"Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic

"Documentation is like sex; when it's good, it's very, very good, and when it's bad, it's better than nothing." - Dick Brandon

"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V Berard

Best random algorithm

"Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time." - N.J. Rubenking

Got into my morning bus. Bus starts driving and suddenly stops and starts going backwards.

Everybody looking at each other like what the fuck is happening.

He drives straight back (backwards) to the bus stop to let some more people in!

Everyone laughing.

Fucking genius hahaha.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

My experience with random generators so far ...

"Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders." - Unknown

I haven't told anyone I know yet but yesterday I got a call from a user and she asked me if I could come down and take a look at some software I support. I did and fixed the issue.
She then asked if I could take a look at her computer because help desk and PC team had tried to fix and couldn't.

5 minutes later I fixed it (every site she went to gave cert error in both chrome and ie). I stood up and there was a couple seconds of me and her just facing each other not saying anything. She was smiling ear to ear the whole time. (This issue was weeks old I think). Then she walks towards me......

And hugs me.

So my car, that I only registered 15 days ago, somehow has a speeding ticket from 3 months ago, in a city I've never been to.

Great country I live in :)

Impeccable timing.

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not." - Yogi Berra

We have this stupid library at work. Its called Randomness, and its basically just a wrapper over the standard .NET System.Random class to help our devs generate random data for unit tests easier.

Debate about random data in unit tests aside.

I came across a bug in randomness. Theres a PickFrom function which gets passed an array, and returns a random element from the array. Problem is, it uses Random.Next to do this, and the max value was set to the array length, minus one.

Random.Next generates values inclusive of the min value, and exclusive of the max value. Arr.Length-1 as a max value, is wrong, the last element in the array would never be selected.

So i fixed it.

And proceeded to break dozens upon dozens of unit tests that were now testing from their full sets of data, and had actually been faulty for god knows how long.

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime." - Michael Sinz

"Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork." - Sam Ewing

One day, someone at Google decided that what their search engine was really missing was a dice rolling tool, complete with text that says 'Rolling...'

Stocks are up 600% since then.

"Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay

How to stay positive

"XML is like violence – if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it." - Unknown

"There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses." - Bjarne Stroustrup

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems." - Jamie Zawinski

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." - Mitch Ratcliffe

"I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!" - Ovidiu Platon

"I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone." - Bjarne Stroustrup

Nein nein nein nein

Does anyone else feel like progress bars increase at random intervals and then stop at 99% until its actually done?

Ok, who of you wrote that comment?

The place where I work part time, my role is to teach children how to code basic things in python, html and CSS.
There's a child who's been coming to this club for the past year, she's only 8 and is smarter than any other child I've seen in person.
Turns out both her parents are developers which is why she has an interest in coding too. It's so refreshing to see things like these, honestly. I hope my child in the future is like her lol.

"In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup

"There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors." - Phil Karlton

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

Why I love devRant:
You'll never receive bad or degrading comments.

If I post a picture of my hairy ass here, the comments would be like:
"There are good sides of having excessive hair."

😂
Courtesy - xkcd.com

Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?

The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.

Just another day at the beach...I mean office.

"C++ : Where friends have access to your private members." - Gavin Russell Baker

Had a random dream last night where different JavaScript Frameworks were different flavour ice creams. No matter which one I tried I kept coming back to vanilla...

"You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first-born child." - James O. Coplien

Windows CMD Russian Roulette:

If %RANDOM%==13 del "C:\"

"No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved." - Mark Gibbs

Male to male wires with Gay Pride colours on them FTW!

I was thinking about writing a poem generator as a project to have some fun, and I thought about using machine learning to do that. But before diving into it I tried to implement a very simple and basic one, that just throws random words. Most of them were meaningless, but some made sense... Who said randomness and chaos can never generate harmony ? B-)

A programmer once explained Nietzsche like this:
A long time ago, god created the world, but forgot to leave a developer documentation, thus the whole world was like legacy code...
And humans are like the end user of this world, and some among them spent time studying it, using the Moral API, hoping to get a result of "http 200 ok" from our world for the peace of mind. But the true operation of this world is still yet unknown...
As time passes, humans begin to find that in Moral API, good and evil are two base classes, and all the other moral properties (like ethic, justice and stuff) are just other classes based on those two classes through multiple inheritance.
One day, when programmer Nietzsche was observing the world's runtime behavior, he came up with a question:
"Did god really use good and evil as base classes? Could it be that they are actually derived classes?"
Most of the world is currently in the favor of mankind, and god must've wrote individual user cases for it's end users, he thought.
This made Nietzsche thinking: if end users are considered into two cases: the strong and the weak, how would the world be designed base on its user story?
Let's think about the strong, they can bully the weak as they please, and there's nothing the weak can do to stop them. In this case whether the Moral API exists or not doesn't fulfill the need of the strong.
But when it comes to the weak, Nietzsche thinks that because the weak cannot fight the strong, they need to belittle bullying and praise the strong for being nice. When the weak does this, it covers their powerless state to some extent, making them look somehow equal to the strong by being capable of commenting.
God might have coded the Moral API to fit the weak's requirement, also adding some public methods for the weak to comment on the strong. If the strong takes care of the weak, they call him nice and good, if the strong bullies people, they call him bad and evil.
That's when Nietzsche realized, that good and evil are both derived classes from the weak, and the base class should be the strong and the weak.
Then he started a series of studies about the Moral API, and got some thesis that persuaded lots of other end users...

Being able to reproduce a random bug is an art!

"Most companies are looking to 'wow' with their products, when in reality what they should be looking for is an 'of course' reaction from their users." - Christian Lindholm

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

getRandomNumber... :)

I don't know why i laughed at this... Is it because PHB said pie hole?

Random post on linkedin...

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

Being a generalist does not make you a master of none.

You are at a position to apply your diverse yet relevant experiences into a singular objective. This makes you strategic and holistic.

A jack of all trades, a master of integration.

Random number... 😂😂😂😂

"If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in." - E. W. Dijkstra

A random number generator in my code just gave "0000". I even thought that could be some bug and was investigating. How cool is that?

Me searching for some random ideas.

Case 1
Me - I want to create something.
Friend - Can you hack into ... ?
Me - No, bye

Case 2
Me - I want to create something.
Bro - I also want to create one awesome project
Me - Ok, cool

Case 3
Me - I want to create something
Mom - Come, help me with preparation for dinner.
Me - *I have been trapped* Nice move

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C. A. R. Hoare

Just heard at the coffee machine: "Well, does that mean I'm not allowed to use Trump's quotes to seed the random numbers generator?"

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." - Confucius

"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." - Fred Brooks

Got introduced to devrant earlier today and am absolutely loving it all

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." - Rick Osborne

"PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." - Jon Ribbens

I'm considering shutting down all my social media profiles. I can't be bothered with any of them especially since most of the social media platforms has a lot of nut heads. I'd rather be on devrant than any other social media platform.

Random shower thought: A sticky note is like a manual version of git stash.

I forgot yesterday was my birthday, until my sister called me and wished me a happy birthday.

"On two occasions I have been asked, ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.'" - Charles Babbage

"Not enough random bytes available". Whaaat? How? I don't uderstand?

Pls send help. I having problems with following code:

Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();

Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);

while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}

ass.detach(toilet);

// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();

I absolutely hate software that throws error message boxes that look identical to their "please enter new password" message box.

User called and said they needed their password reset. I give them a temp pin and tell them to press ok to the prompt and then put new password in. She says it is still saying invalid pin. This goes on for 10 minutes. I hang up and try on my laptop. Works fine. Then it hits me.

The message boxes look the same. Have the same width and height and shitty little yellow triangle with ! In the middle. The only difference between them is the text in size 9 font.

Gotta read people...cause sometimes the people developing your software assume you can. And to all the software people out there....end users don't want to fucking read.

Girls are like a ‪‎internet domain name‬
ones you like are already taken.
Developers have more suffering than others.

This kind of random stuff happens to me often:

*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.

My brain can be weird and annoying.

!!random

Do you guys know about the Windows 10 operating system?

I highly recommend it.

It is so easy to get done whatever you want in just a few clicks or.. several.

It has a great web browser called Internet Explorer that comes pre-installed with it. If you love animations, it will even sometimes show you that beautiful loading animation for as long as it wants. If you have a habit of wasting time on the Internet, it will intelligently slow things down and become unresponsive to help you get rid of that bad habit. It's just that great.

It has a lot of great features pre-enabled for you like sending data to Microsoft to improve your experience on a personal level. The operating system cares so much about you, unlike other operating systems that represent a flightless bird.

It's so smart, it even keeps you from doing stupid things like customizing the operating system. It makes sure that you live in the given box and don't break anything. So caring, right?!

At random times, it shows you a blue screen and a sad face to remind you that life can be sad at times but you gotta keep going. It is profound.

It comes with great useless software that you absolutely don't even need! How great is that!

I use Windows 10 and I recommend that you do too.

Have a good day..

Without getting distracted by internet while coding seriously is almost like mastering meditation.

"We know about as much about software quality problems as they knew about the Black Plague in the 1600s. We’ve seen the victims’ agonies and helped burn the corpses. We don’t know what causes it; we don’t really know if there is only one disease. We just suffer — and keep pouring our sewage into our water supply." - Tom Van Vleck

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." - Brian Kernighan

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

Installers that copy files into a default directory without letting me change the installation path.. fuck whoever does that!

"I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS." - Larry DeLuca

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice." - Richard Moore

There is a function for creating random numbers.
So with the same inputs , I must get the same output.
So it is somewhat predictable.
So it is not actually random!

Am I tight?

When I get bored I just make random websites about something weird like hot dogs or sheeps.

GNU/Linux just announced they'll now be seeding /dev/random with keystrokes of users attempting to exit vim.

Thoughts?

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

Hey DevRant fam! Hope you are all doing very well wherever you may be. This is not a dev related post but just something i wanted to get off my chest , 20 minutes ago I watched the movie “night school” along side my brother. I was sat down along side two girls on my left and i thought “hey they seem nice” in my mind.

Well i was wrong - throughout parts of the movie she would randomly turn to give me a weird look, as if i was something else? Unfortunately i suffer from eczema and really cant help it and have to undergo treatment monthly and with that comes bullying and judgement from randoms.

What really broke me was that she had the nerves to comment loudly to her friend right next to her about me, say things like “ damn is he ugly “ and many things along those lines, and also about how i ate my pringles? Like hey i love my pringle chips!.

At the end, movie done, my brother is happy I’m happy(not really) we both got up the two random girls walked in front and just gave me this weird stare and had to judge me by the way i walked, thats a whole other issue but i just wish they would have the thought- how would you feel if you put yourself in my position and have to go through my emotions you put me through because you wouldn’t think before you speak ? :-( well thats not everything but some of what i have to deal with unfortunately - sorry this is so long.

Hope all is good for everyone- thank you ☺️

Milo

Today I had to write a unit test to test a method that internally used a random number generator...

Aha
Ahaha
Ahahaha
My test was literally just assertNotNull...

Cell phone wifi usage...go!

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration." - E. W. Dijkstra

The way we've been waiting for Slack's dark mode, it better be lit! 🔥

When you see your code 2 weeks later and you don't understand it.
//FirstRant

#random

A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. " - Donald Knuth

I was on a flight yesterday and I had my Bluetooth headset on me. As the flight was taking off, it happened to pick up what seemed like a cockpit conversation. It was pretty darn strange and kind of freaked me out. It kept me awake till we landed and has now messed up my sleep too.

Random fact #1

AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) was producing Intel 8080 clones (AMD Am9080) before developing own CPUs. Originally they were produced without Intel license. This clone was developed basing on pictures of Intel 8080 itself and pictures of logic diagrams. These processors were much cheaper than the original model. Later AMD and Intel came up with agreement and the Am9080 was fully licensed making AMD official second party vendor.

And yeah, few years later and we got a war between two of those giants. Remember when in mid 2000s AMD almost beat the Intel marketshare?

Bonus Fact: there is AMD logo on Ferrari Formula 1 cars since 2002 (look at the front wing)

This is random stuff.
I wonder what would happen if an innocent new user unknowingly reports a rant written by @dfox or by @trogus themselves.🤔
Maybe a beautiful post or maybe a nice email like
"Dear @... you might not have realized but @trogus and @dfox are the creators of devRant"

"Information is cheap, meaning is expensive." - George Dyson

Finally a place where I understand what people says.

random question

did you ever tried to code high?

Perfect way for generating random string...

"Like McDonalds proves, popular doesn’t necessarily mean good. I’m not particularly interested in what’s popular; I’m much more interested in what’s good." - Kris Sowersby

To learn what recursion is, we must first understand recursion.

Yesterday I saw a pretty forked up repo.

.......

The DST Effect

I actually took that last one first. So uhm... I traveled back in time?

"In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is." - Jeff Atwood

I haven't really known what to post. But I've decided not to care about being relevant or care about the like count. I'm a very competitive person so things like like count tend to effect the way I see the quality of a post.

I want devRant to be a place where I can be honest and feel safe even if I don't get the validation I sometimes wish I had. And hey maybe someone will think my opinions or thoughts are interesting.

So let's start with a little about me. I'm a 17 year old kid that loves programming. I work full time as a full stack web developer and I'm really the only web person. The current system is built on WordPress because of fucking course it is. I don't like it but I gotta keep it user friendly for less techy people to manage. No one likes have all minor changes and tweaks having to go through one person when they could do it themselves. So I manage.

I'd say my passion is more backend development but I do love having a pretty UI to display the results.

I've struggled with mental health the past few years but I'm doing much better. Even just last week I had an anxiety attack during a social event. I came here for the community and I do enjoy it, but I'm gonna try to make it an outlet. My best friend went off to university and I don't really have any IRL friends I can just be me around.

I don't have anything special to say. But if you read this thank you for listening to some random kid on the internet. I hope you have a great day.

What's the point of a farewell email at work?

Just got another today from a random guy we don't really know with his # and personal email.

The only thing I can think of doing with it is feeding it to a spambot?

How random number generators work

"We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil." - C. A. R. Hoare

Random.

You are what you code.

Don't see this everyday.

Your body needs REST and SOAP both

~ Random

So this very random thought pop up just now.

What if Satoshi is on devrant? 🤔

"Minimalism is not a lack of something. It’s simply the perfect amount of something." - Nicholas Burroughs

So hard to obtain. So easy to lose.
Sometimes I think users are like sperms 🤔

Two different type of people in the world

When the guy with his master's who's job you were told you weren't qualified for performed the following all in one query:
1. A massive many to many join on a 4 million row table.....to itself on in inner query through a linked server.
2. Decides to try and join this massive inner query (see step 1) to another table on a second many to many join.
3. Writes a function for month. Yes instead of month(literallyadate)

Then this guy emails me to ask if I can optimize it because we yelled at him for trying to insert 216 GB of data into a table (again on a massive many to many joined disaster). We told him if a query was taking more than 40 minutes we needed to see it.

I regret saying that now...should have just bought more space ;)

"Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half." - John Wanamaker

Why does every app assume I work out of C:\Users\Ben? It doesn't even show up in windows explorer by default? And since when is my documents used to store random metadata? I have been storing pdfs and word documents there for years ???

"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law." - Hofstadter’s Law

how to make coffee

"The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry." - Henry Petroski

Worst dev technology....early versions of Android studio. Dreadful.

Not really a rant and not very random. More like a very short story.

So I didn't write any rant regarding the whole Microsoft GitHub topic. I don't like to judge stuff quickly. I participated in few threads though.

Another thing is I also don't use GitHub very much apart from giving 🌟 to repos as a bookmark. Have one hobby project there. That's all. So I don't worry that much. I'm that selfish and self concerned. :3

I was first introduced to version control system by learning how to use tortoisesvn around 2008. We had a group project and one of the guys was an experienced and amazing programmer unlike the rest of us. He was doing commercial projects while we were at our 1st and 2nd year. Uni had svn repo server. He taught us about tortoisesvn. He also had Basecamp and taught us how to use it as well. So that's how I learned the benefits of using versioning tools and project management tools. On side note, our uni didn't teach any of those in detail :3

After that project, I was hooked to use versioning tools. So until school kicked me out, I was able to use their svn server. When I was on my own, I had to ask Google for help. I found a new world. There are still free svn services that I can use with certain limited functions. That's not the new world; I found people saying how git is better than svn in various ways. It was around 2010,2011.

At first I was a bit reluctant to touch git because of all the commands in terminal approach. But then I found that there is tortoisegit. I still thank tortoisesvn creator for that. I'm a sucker for GUI tools. So then I also have to pick which git servers to use. Hell yeah, self hosted gitlab is the way to go man. Well that's what the internet said. So I listened. I got it up and running after numerous trial and error. I used it briefly. Then I came back to my country on 2012-2013; the land of kilobytes per minute (yes not second, minute).

My country's internet was improved only after 2016. So from 2013 to 2016, I did my best not to rely on internet. I wasn't able to afford a server at my less than 10 people, 12ft*50ft office. So I had to find alternative to gitlab which preferably run on windows. Found bonobo and it was alright. It worked. Well had crazy moments here and there when the PC running Bonobo got virus and stuff. But we managed. We survived. Then finally multi national Telecom corporates came to our country.

We got cheaper and faster mobile data, broadband and fiber plans. Finally I can visit pornhub ... sorry github. Github is good. I like it. But that doesn't mean I should share my ugly mutated projects to the rest of the world. I could keep using Bonobo but it has risks. So I had to think for an alternative. I remembered that gitlab didn't have cloud hosting service when I checked them out in the past. So I just looked into Bitbucket and happy with their free plans of 5 users and unlimited private repos. I am very very cheap and broke.

That's why I said I don't really care that much about the whole M$GitHub topic at the beginning. However due to that topic, I have visited GitLab website again and found out they have cloud hosting now and their free plan is unlimited users and unlimited repos. So hell yeah. Sorry BB. I am gonna move to cheaper and wider land.

TL;DR : I am gonna move to GitLab because of their free plan.

Just created my first discord server after seeing so many people from here mention it. The questions I have are, why? What makes it better than say slack or something else? Is it prone to spam or bots? How is it for gaming?

Random Tip (since ppl don't seem to know)

Dark Reader chrome extension
turns everything to dark theme
works on devrant too, although their native dt is better

not sure about firefox

!rant, !dev, random thought

We live in the past. Everything we call the present has already happened, we just aren't immediately aware of it.

For example, if the sun suddenly exploded, we would live for ~8 mins thinking nothing had happened. On the human scale, this still holds although the delays are much smaller. (also, the sun isn't where it appears to be :D)

Our senses deceive us 😯

Open to criticism :) just thought it was an interesting thought.

"Typography is a beautiful group of letters, not a group of beautiful letters." - Steve Byers

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

Task: Use random string in url to prevent cache.
Me: `<script src="lightbox.js?random"></script>`

Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so bad at naming repos or projects, so I just use a random string 😐

believe me,
when your companies non-technical HOD(marketing), start a discussion with you on topics like Elon Musk and other hot topics in the technical world.
It feels good
2 hours no code just discussion on fav topics.

"Sure, our competitors will laugh. Let them laugh so hard that they cannot breathe." - Sam Ward

(short story)

happened a couple of months ago. I was drawing some diagrams on the board -- planning new infra for the app. While explaining all this to the analyst I needed some random number. It was smth like 1470285206. Half an hour later I need another random number. And I again come up with the same exact sequence....

It was both funny and spooky at the same time. Apparently my biological RNG is utterly broken.. Either that or my subconsciousness wants to tell me something about an early morning of 2016 Aug 4.

Working continuously on a task for like 3 hrs, cant get it done
*goes out, mind refreshed and completes the same task in 5 mins*

"A good designer finds an elegant way to put everything you need on a page. A great designer convinces you half that shit is unnecessary." - Mike Monteiro

I've been sort of lost after New Year's...

Last few years, my main goal was just to learn stuff to pass technical interviews. I also did a lot of personal dev in C#... and played with the js, python, and when a bit of c++.

But this year I kinda feel sorta of "ah screw it". Interviews never work out, haven't for years, what's the point in even trying... I get paid enough though the work is sort boring and team sort of feels like the Wild West, no rules, code reviews, processes...

But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Feels like coding has lost its place at the top now. The future is all cloud, machine learning, big data/real time analytics but feels like these are out of reach for just 1 guy...

And well doesn't seem like anyone is going to give me a job because I'm not a good fit or have enough experience in these areas...

Sorta lost now but guess this is what a sudden thought leads to...

Oh and maybe just with tech in general. It feels this year I'm just not as interested as I was before... Spent a lot of time binge watching movies and stuff instead....

I just reallized I've done so much photo editing that I made a few tools for it in different apps.

So this morning in a flash of insight, I've made a single app that consolidates them all...

Basically it's just a window that opens all the others by referencing those projects... That was probably the fastest I've ever written an app... other than Hello World.

I can't tell if i am lazy, efficient, or organized... (i couldnt put this in the tag because of the commas)

"Web design is responsive design. Responsive web design is web design, done right." - Andy Clarke

"The most valued products will be designed to live beyond the device, context, or technology they were originally intended for." - Stephanie Rieger

"The difference between a weed and a flower is a judgement." - Wayne Dyer

"Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything." - Scott Adams

"Sometimes magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect." - Raymond Joseph Teller

Meanwhile...

[installs everything like a fucking nimrod]

Lets share the best thing we've ever learnt (strictly related to dev)...
I'll start -> Best thing I've learnet is lambda programming. (Java)

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

"If everyone likes your design, it’s banal. Mediocrity shirks offense. Art dares it." - Jeffrey Zeldman

"The only way to be creative over time — to not be undone by our expertise — is to experiment with ignorance, to stare at things we don’t fully understand." - Jonah Lehrer

I like going to random Google subdomains. Today I had a typo when seeing where "timer.google.com" goes, but I later learned I had a made a typo, and typed "timex." Well, looks like a great time to buy a watch.

"If you see a snake, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes." - H. Ross Perot

Most unlikely / random thing that happend to you while using your computer (programming/designing/playing)

"You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." - Andy Warhol

In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.

"Good design is finding a solution to a problem. Great design is finding the simplest solution to the same problem." - Nicholas Petersen

I have a random question. Does it make me a less of a developer if I say no to a embedded side project proposed by a friend?
I mean I'm all into side projects n building something cool but hardware and embedded stuff isn't something I like or feel passionate about.

crazyness

if($user->dead()){
$user->redirect('heaven');
}

OMG i got 777 ++, this is my lucky moment!!!!

Don't You Hate It When People Capitalise First Letter Of Every Word In A Sentence?

"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything you are willing to practice, you can do. " - Bob Ross

"The next time you’re caught in a room full of smart people doing something dumb (like trying to anticipate what your users will do), tune them out, flip open your laptop, and start prototyping." - Daniel Burka

Random thought, is Tower of Pisa the reason why the italic font style is slant?

I wonder if @billgates ever calls/emails @linuxxx to wish him a Merry Christmas...

How do you manage your relationship with you partner and work like?

So back to the stories of the gentleman with his master's degree who's job I wasn't qualified for. Hope you all enjoy this gem I found in his stored procedure.

Select distinct *
From(
Select * from a inner join b on a.id=b.id
Union
Select * from a full join b on a.id=b.id
Where b.id is null
)

An inner join unioned to a full join where you exclude null values in right table creates a.....left join you fucking idiot!

Random thought:

A programming language or an OS which will you rather have to your name.

rant.type = feature.request
We should be able to select up to 5 (for example) shirts, shoes... And have the app equip random one each day.

"Design has to work, art does not." - Donald Judd

"I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." - Sherlock Holmes

"I like jumping back and forth between a few different things to let my subconscious chew on one problem while my conscious works on something else." - Loren Brichter

"Buy the best and you only cry once." - Miles Redd

"Be curious. Read widely. Try new things. I think a lot of what people call intelligence boils down to curiosity. " - Aaron Schwartz

"Instead of shooting arrows at somebody else’s target… I make my own target around wherever my arrow has happened to have landed." - Brian Eno

Random variation of how we learn based off a colleague.

1. I dont know what the fuck to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on
2. I don't know what the fuck to do, i know whats going on
3. I know whats going on, i know what to do
4. I know what to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on

Haha, i love my job, the place where devs play solitair with their Trello cards

**random rant**

So next week I have a technical interview with TripleByte and I'm supposed to spent the next 2 days sorta preparing. Just woke up and had this thought tho:

What's the point? Yes I think I could try to get a better job but been trying for years (banking tech area) but now it feels like I'm at a "local optimum" sort of a sweet spot. Team/company could be smarter/more efficient but...

I've got my own place in a city that's also near NYC. It takes me 20 minutes to get to my current office, fairly flexible with the 9-5 work day, I can work remotely. I get enough money.

And then finding a new job === technical interviews about stuff you will rarely use and usually with no feedback like a pass-fail test where they only tell you if you pass or fail (and for me it always feels skewed towards fail the moment i walk since I'm deaf).

But at this point, I feel more like "you need to convince me to work for you". In my head, the plan is mostly to just have a nice chat and wing the technical questions just to see how good i am without any prep (i.e. poring thru Cracking the Coding Interview or Big O concepts, sorting...).

FFS, I wasted my time reinstalling nodejs just to update my npm and tried npm i -g npm.

Outputs a success status but when I check via npm -v it's still the same old version.

Or maybe I'm just too dumb that I don't know how to do it right.

Rant!

When senior dev's or successful startup founders ask me to shift from Open-sourcing my Projects and start making revenue, it gets me very awkward and uncomfortable with myself.

Their argument is Opensource won't feed you unless you're linus torvald, I understand their point however it's irritating that public good isn't a mode of income.

Watching Jobs and Social Networks gets me similarly worked up.People disregarding companions of their journey as they choose money over friendship.

It sure is a cruel world. I'm not sure if i ever will be compatible with it.

"Five years ago, the heroes were technologists. Today, the heroes are designers building out a user experience. You can have the most amazing technology in the world, but if it’s not put in a form that’s useful and desirable, you won’t be successful." - Robert Brunner

You know, if gravity was to disappear all of a sudden, Shit would hit the fan !
Quite literally 😶

So, I just recieved a welcome email from bit.ac, with my email and a random generated password. The fact is that, I have never registered on this website. Did someone just registered with my email? Or maybe it's a new marketing strategy, to collect emails from another databases and send them emails, "reminding" them their email and a random generated password, so that who recieve the email, to be confused and to access the website to see what is all about,resulting that the company gets more traffic & eventually new possible customers?

"Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others." - Brandon Mull

"I go to work every morning with the possibility that I might learn something I don’t already know… You should look at every problem and think, ‘what can I learn by doing this?’ And if you think you can learn nothing, forget about doing it." - Milton Glaser

"If I forget the words, they weren’t very memorable in the first place." - Willie Nelson

"Design must be functional and functionality must be translated into visual aesthetics, without any reliance on gimmicks that have to be explained." - Ferdinand A. Porsche

When they handover your codes to some arrogant developer, and the guy starts complaining in almost every small feature.

At least get some time to understand other people's psychology and coding style man!

A little more than a year ago I attended to this coding bootcamp where the leading instructor made us open up Vim and told a joke about "those guys who can't quit Vim". It still hurts, but it's getting better every time I get the chance to do the same with others.

Just opened Telegram to read new messages from a random group in which I was added by a total random guy. Saw that guy asking for some help on how he could get more free RAM in his phone for whatever reasons. Then saw this fucking asshole writing dumb shit instead of helping him and everybody is now praising him like God. I thought of telling that dick what he's upto, but just left that fucking group of morons immediately.

Still don't know what I'm doing, I need to learn more about the thing I'm trying to pursue.

What do you hate most about your job life? For me it's small talks.

How ethical is it to schedule meetings after the usual work hour?

WARNING: I just need to vent.

WHY the fuck does my family send me emails with random questions instead of sending texts or calling me. Why do people think that I'm constantly checking my emails more than once per day. (As a student during summer holiday I literally don't get any emails). YOU CAN JUST FUCKING TEXT ME INSTEAD OF ASKING ME WHERE DO I WANT TO GO FOR A LUNCH AND THEN GETTING MAD FOR NOT ANSWERING INSTANTLY ON A FUCKING EMAIL. HOW HARD IS IT TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT JESUS CHRIST.

"If all else fails, [working harder than anyone else] is the greatest competitive advantage of any career." - John C Jay