If you're so fucking mentally lazy that you can't write something halt-decent the first time, maybe you shouldn't write anything at all!

hsdkghajsghasldghj
HATE

*drunk version of me quickly backs off* it's just the booez, I promize!

two spaces? four spaces? tabs? all three? SURE WHY NOT!

find_or_create_by_phone(email) BECAUSE OF COURSE THAT MAKES SENSE.

six levels of indentation with implicit returns sprinkled in? BEST FUCKING STYLE EVER

x y z a c q j? HELL YEAH BITCHES

AFHASFKLSAGHASDLGKASJHGSGHASDG

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(just for good measure, I'm not drunk right now and can type properly)
Pretty sure that I'd write better code than that even when I'm completely wasted... In the attempt to get me so drunk that I'd write such a convoluted mess, you'd probably get me to get an acute case of alcohol poisoning first :') so yeah.. having to work with that... The API guy really does live up to his expectations (being a braindead idiot), doesn't he?

I've calmed down somewhat, but ergh.
Some of this code makes goatse look pleasant.

@AlexDeLarge you will love this one:

"Back when PHP had less than 100 functions and the function hashing mechanism was strlen(). In order to get a nice hash distribution of function names across the various function name lengths names were picked specifically to make them fit into a specific length bucket."

Source: http://news.php.net/php.internals/...

Your comment on the mental state of people who even are able to come up with such a clusterfuck?

@Fast-Nop I remember this lol. People never believe me when I talk about how terrible PHP is.

Hmm 🤔
(Intentionally made into a comment providing nothing but a screenshot, don't I see anyone dare to tag!)

@Condor 😂😂😂
Dont worry! He doesn't know I call him API Guy. Haha