AboutAutodidact, full-stack developer, caffeine junkie, pseudo-hacker, language nerd, misanthropic altruist, poet of perversity, semi-inarticulate polyglot, and devRant's angriest user.
SkillsNever fear. If fear thou hast in thy heart, O brother, pray banish it forthwith.
Joined devRant on 8/14/2016
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Anybody using Caddy in production? I only recently learnt about it and the more I read up, the more I love it: https://caddyserver.com/21
Saturday, I received this book in the mail. I bought it, because I'm currently building a React app in the form of a Progressive Web App, that'll make heavy use of service workers, web workers, push notifications, IndexedDB and other newer technologies which I wasn't too familiar with until recently.
Apart from the very annoying and distracting fact that the editor is obviously some kind of overly politically correct feminazi who replaced all generally male personal pronouns with the female variant instead of just using the more apt and less distracting neutral form ('they' 'their', etc.), I can really recommend it. (Seriously though, tell me what you want, that's no more than a silly, childish revenge on a perceived all-encompassing, omnipresent 'patriarchy', and it's no less 'correct' than using masculine personal pronouns exclusively, but well, that's a nother story).
Admittedly, the book is nothing new or totally amazing, but if you want to avoid having to piece together the few and far between bits of useful information from all the thousands of ill-informed frontend-themed websites of the web, this book is for you. Everything is very concisely but aptly explained, there are good examples, and also git repo to enable you to work along an example project, that is, quite frankly, a little bit chaotic, but since the explanations focus on the right parts, it's still useful to have.
Oh, and thanks to a bunch of old farts whose use of computers apparently boils down to sending their serva–, I mean 'domestic personnel' to order a case of overpriced mouthwa–, I mean wine via this new thing called 'internet' for them, but who are nonetheless proposing European laws to regulate how the fucking internet is to be used, I'll have to mark this rant exclusively as an advertisement.
But guess what, it's not, so suck my throbbing, purple-headed, veiny cock while I hit the three wheel motion on you and everybody who approves of this idiotic law, and start thinking for yourself for a change, how about that?23
I just saw a LinkedIn ad at Berlin central station that was probably the dumbest and most pathetic non sequitur I've ever seen in advertising thus far.
It read: "Ich bin bei LinkedIn um Patienten die Hilfe zu geben, die sie brauchen" which roughly translates to: "I'm on LinkedIn to give my patients the help they need" behind that dumb quote was a nurse or a doctor (the ad was too far away, so I couldn't see exactly, and the premise doesn't fit the purpose anyway, so either would be irrelevant).
First of all, not only were both the fullstop at the end of the sentence and the comma after 'LinkedIn' missing which is already really badly done, in my eyes, but the whole ad also doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Unless your patients are fucking recruiters too and you're giving them your colleague's contact information, so that the latter can enjoy loads of mindless spam too, you won't help your patients at all – not in any way, shape or form – by being on LinkedIn. That's a fact, and I'm.sure every-fucking-body knows that, including the idiots who thought of this idiotic ad in.the first place.
Be fucking reasonable! Why the fuck would your patients give a rat's ass about whether you're on LinkedIn or not? It's a platform for spamming recruiters first and a shady business platform second. It's not that your patients are clients in the first place. They probably don't even have a choice, they're also not doing 'business' with anybody, they're just getting treated.
This is just another proof to me that LinkedIn is absolutely useless both as a platform and as a company, because they can't even think of ads for it without pulling completely irrelevant, pathos-laden bullshit out of their asses about why LinkedIn could be necessary at all. It just isn't, and it never was.
Dumbest fucking ad I've ever seen.
Just shoot all the recruiters in the neck, after having them dig their own mass graves, then let the CEO/CTO and the rest of the money grabbing, data slinging cunts follow, plane everything with a bulldozer and be done with it.11
I fucking hate frontend frameworks!
Particularly Material Design and Bootstrap are fucking annoying to work with. Both look and feel more awkward than getting groped on the bus by a midget in a sado-maso outfit and a mustache.
I haven't tried any CSS framework that wasn't a complete mess which forced you to stuff your markup full to the brim with needless attributes, and other non-semantic HTML, like 'wrapper elements' that are either just obstructive whenever you need to change details or plain superfluous, because they could be left out easily, if you knew CSS properly.
Everything is littered with 'enhancement' class names that are longer than this guy's name:
You should write enhancement classes yourself anyway, but the framework authors try to restrain you, because their little manifestos of awkward code have already become uncontrollable, opinionated mutants.
And if you're finally done, it's an absolute pain in the arse to change the design later (if you can even speak of design when everything looks the same). Because, since those dumb frameworks tend to force you to litter everything with classes and attributes, you always have to change both, markup/template files and CSS files which makes the mess complete.
Why do people cope with all this shit? Why don't they invest in learning CSS properly? Sure, it's annoying to have to learn something you don't like, but – motherfucker! – always fighting with, and changing, both markup and CSS files for changes that should be simpler than the products of marrying in the family for 500 years is far more fucking unreasonable.
Take a fucking CSS course or two, fucking start doing it yourself, and stop using prepared grids, for fuck's sake. You're just repeating the pattern I mentioned above by coupling your so-called CSS too tightly to the mess of a markup you're producing. In 95% of the cases you don't even need a full-blown grid, and five or ten lines of CSS would do the trick instead, while also being much more versatile.
Fuck CSS and frontend frameworks. They all look like and suck prolapsed donkey arse, and if you're one of those people who prefer using this crap instead of making an effort of learning CSS, I really hope your tongue gets stuck inside said donkey ass in a freak accident.33
Whoever keeps sending me emails begging me to send them '100 rupees to flee from the island' is an utter berk. And a thoroughly annoying one at that.
Even if this wasn't complete and obvious bullshit – flee? From where? And what currency is that supposed to be exactly? Indonesian rupees? Indian rupees? Pakistani rupees? …
The only things I'd send them would be a leaky rubber boat or a mail bomb.
At least make a fucking effort, and until then: get fucked.14
I seems to become a sport to piss me off and not take the echo but simply leave devRant so that others proceed by implicitly pinning the reason for that on me.
I don't give a fuck when people I don't care for leave, and I won't lie that I did care, but as soon as this becomes the rule, I see no point in staying either.
It's not that my opinion matters more than that of other ranter, you definitely all know that, I never implied that and if you think so you probably have a serious problem with your self-esteem.
It's also not that anybody I had quarrel or a discussion with was bullied or shunned afterwards (that would be silly and low anyway), so I do not feel responsible for people who bite more than they can chew and then just leave to avoid asphyxiation.
Please get a fucking grip.
If I deleted my account today –my fingers are itching more than ever – and started a new one, I could probably act exactly as I do now, and I don't see a reason not to, but I'm pretty sure nobody would imply I'm responsible after somebody left again, because he's either made a fool of himself, can't bring it over himself to apologize for being a cunt or simply couldn't fucking take the stupid memes under 'rant' anymore.
I'm glad @Condor is back, otherwise somebody would probably have implied the inevitable soon. And as about the others? I don't give a flying fuck, and I'm not gonna start to pretend to.50
Anybody like Beethoven, but with a little actual detailed knowledge of classical music?
I listen to the 9th and the 5th symphony every once in a while after a really shitty day. I got new, pretty fucking expensive but really good headphones (compared to my old ones) and bow I'm searching for good recordings of both the 9th and the 5th symphony to get the best out of them.
Does anybody know really good recordings of those that are worth buying?39
Anybody here using the https://haveibeenpwned.com/ API? What's your experience? Any good alternatives or similar services you'd care to mention?17
I feel like setting something on fire and watching people burn again today.
Fuck the Deutsche Bahn sideways with a rusty ten foot pole until it bleeds to death, and while we're at it, kill everybody in the way and stomp on their useless, empty heads.33
Today I've set up and email account/address for my mother and taught her: how to switch on the laptop, start a browser, log into the email software, write an email, log out again and shut the laptop down.
I don't even have anything to rant about. She never really needed an email address before, and just sometimes uses a computer at work (which is always running) to use one software that is extremely simple.
I thought it would be a pain in the arse to explain all this, because I had to start at how to switch on the laptop, and I could tell she found it very complicated and disliked it a lot, but she knew she needed the email address, so she wanted to know, didn't try to make me do everything, and instead wrote all the steps down, then just did it right, just as I had told her.
Yes, she has bo clue about technology in general, she's not really interested in it either, but from her point of view I even get it, and as silly as it sounds, I'm even proud of her.
Weird, but true.18
Does anybody know how to disable that the mouse pointer gets hidden after a about half a second, when not moving it?
This is annoying the high holy fucking hell out of me, and I don't know how to properly search for a fix, because all that comes up are questions how to *hide* it permanently and even though that should point me in the opposite direction, nothing works.
It should be fucking able to disable this somehow, for fuck's sake. Normally I wouldn't care, but this stupid feature seems to also affect tooltips, particularly in Firefox/Chrome dev tools and hover effects ion Websites like Netflix by closing tooltips/hover states in a matter of milliseconds which is fucking annoying.
I neither have the time nor the patience to deal with this shit any longer, all the more because I seem to suck at solving this kind of problems and nothing seems to stick.
I'm using XFCE 4.12 on Linux Mint 17.2 (will soon upgrade anyway, but can't right now) and an M5 Logitech mouse, so I suspect it's entirely a software issue.21
A few reasons why I fucking hate Medium as a company and platform.
1. That big ass, screen real estate hogging header.
Just add a fucking mobile menu, you lazy cock knockers. It looks fucking dumb and it's really fucking annoying too, but I'm sure that's intentional, just like the next point.
2. That stupid ass, obtrusive, annoying 'Open in app' button
No. Fuck you. I don't give a shit about the shitty spyware you call your app. I fucking hate how you pretend to make it a helpful gesture when the obvious intend is to be as annoying as possible, so all our data soon belongs to you.
3. The silly, half-arsed cookie notice: "To use Medium, you must agree […]"
No, I fucking don't.
First of all, I'm already browsing your shitty site, I haven't agreed to anything, I won't agree to anything, and I'm gonna keep browsing it, not even out of spite, but because every second fucking article in the newsletters I'm subscribed to is a stinking medium blog article, so fuck you with a splintered spade handle and catch necrotizing fasciitis of the arsehole, for all I care.
Second of all, I'm fairly sure this shit doesn't comply with the GDPR, you fucking cunts.
Medium really sucks and 95% of the bloggers are just as annoying, unnecessary and self-serving as the things I mentioned above.
Fuck Medium. Fuck people who actually use it for blogging. Fuck their stupid app and fuck Android spyware a.k.a. crappy third class apps that 'substitute' second class web 'services' for the sake of hogging your fucking data.26
I'm reorganizing a massive React app, in order to neutralize current and reduce future technical debt. In one of the articles I had bookmarked to read while preparing and planning my approach, I just found this gem:
"Researchers at Princeton University Neuroscience Institute conducted a study that suggests reducing clutter can help you stay focused."
I'm sure we needed a study for that.
Anybody here use code generators in their projects, like Hygen?
I colleague introduced me to Hygen today. I was instantly intrigued and now I'm already building templates and trying to automate everything I can with it.
Are you using generators or know other good ones?17
I talk to people for a few minutes, before I club them over the head, drag them into my cave, crack their head open, and eat their brains with a wooden spoon.
If, after that, I feel I haven't been annoyed by social interaction enough, I go see a movie, go to the theatre, eat at a good restaurant or take a walk together with my girlfriend. I do that very often, because my girlfriend is pretty much the only person I can have around me all the time without her annoying me. On the contrary, she calms me down a lot.
Sometimes I go watch a metal show with a good pal or I meet with colleagues for a drink or ten and playing board games, or meeting with my close family, but that's usually enough for weeks on end, because I'm not a big people guy anyway. Rather the opposite.
I also prefer quality to quantity of friendship and social interaction. I don't make new friends easily, because I'm quite distant in 'real life' and I mostly don't care about other people anyway.
On the web it's different, because you don't need to worry you'll meet people while shopping for groceries and will later have to signal them in the most friendly way you can to finally fuck off and leave you alone when they're getting obtrusive. I have no patience for that.
With work, you HAVE to be friendly and social, and I can be, but it doesn't feel natural to me, all the more because I have a reputation with family and friends to be a grumpy fucker as well. As long as I know and like people it's easy, but I suck at pretending to be good with someone whom I don't like and I'm really glad that at my current job I have a great PM and reasonable boss I can rely on to take that burden away from me 95% of the time.
When freelancing which I still do, I can choose my clients myself, and most of them are sort of like casual friends in the broadest sense of the term. Social interaction with them only bothers me when they or people who represent them are being cunts.
I don't even think all humans are really social individuals by choice or by nature. Often we just are, because we have to, either to survive to reach our goals. At least I am.
And now, excuse me. I have to get back to my cave.9
If there's one thing I truly fucking hate while debugging, it's when you suspect you're dealing with a race condition, but neither know for sure nor how exactly to check for it, yet.
To me that always feels as if I have to spend a specific amount of time in limbo, but being derived of my sense of time as long as I'm there.
Imagine you're getting kicked out of an airplane with a fully working parachute on your back, but your hands are tied up. Will you be able to catch the parachute cord with your teeth, then manage to pull it somehow? Or will you end up as a bloody splat on the ground?
Microsoft is so utterly fucking incompetent, they can't even properly provide their own fucking Virtual Box images.
Either the download fails or the fucking things won't unzip. I'd get riled up even more about this, but luckily everything already worked in IE11 on my actual Win10 gaming rig. It just would have been nice to set up a set of clean, new virtual machines for more intensive testing/potential hotfixing next week, but 'nope!' says Microsoft.
Why is anybody afraid of Microsoft taking over GitHub, when, in fact, they cannot even get dead simple shit like this right?
Fucking incompetent, amateurish idiots.19
I have to do some 'last minute browser testing' for Edge and IE11 today.
Edge will most likely work without any problems.
But even though I always optimize my frontend code with the latest versions of the most common browsers in mind, I'm pretty fucking sure IE11 will somehow drop a big, fat, steaming, stinking, runny turd on my confidence and add insult to injury by expecting me to pick the peanuts out of it.21
When an utter misanthrope like me has to show you how teamwork is supposed to be done, e.g. how you best look out for your colleagues to keep a pleasant work atmosphere and low stress level, you're truly fucking doing it wrong.
Why do deadlines always have to become more stressful and annoying, because at least one fucking cunt can't stop just thinking about themselves for the equivalent of time it takes the mailman to nail their mom.
The fact that you're using map and forEach once in a blue moon does make your 'style' functional programming as much as sticking feathers up your arse would make you a chicken.
Sod off, you intellectual low-glider.37
SUCK MY THROBBING COCK UNTIL YOU TURN PURPLE! I FUCKING HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKING PERMANENT CONFLICTS WITH THE GODDAMN PACKAGE-LOCK.JSON FILE!
Beautiful. It's one of these days again when I want to punch random strangers in the face before stomping their heads. And of course public transport is particularly dreadful on such a day. It just has to be when it's so fucking hot, you'll practically be sitting in ball soup all day. Or clam soup, to be more 'gender neutral' for the SJWs and feminazis among you.
I fucking hate people, hot weather and public transport. And chances are I hate you too.16
“I’d like to get a lot better at writing code. I have this sort of ideal that maybe the best code […] is code that explains itself, code that teaches itself. Someone with no prior knowledge of my domain space or the problem I’m trying to solve could sit down and, at one glance, one read through of my code, perfectly understand everything that I was thinking about all the choices I made, and why I made them. It’s probably not possible. But that’s the ideal that I strive towards. I look for every opportunity to use what I know about the language to go towards that goal.”
That’s actually what everybody should do with every language, spoken or written, natural or artificial. This would make communication so much easier, more productive and therefore more useful. I fucking hate when somebody who is obviously speaking to you cannot explain themselves properly. I hate it even more when I’m the one who can’t.
Languages are a vehicle of communication, to be precise, they are THE vehicle of communication. Why are so many programmers not able to process both, spoken, natural and written, artificial languages? It can’t be the social factor alone. I’m an absolute misanthrope, manhater, outcast and self-defined maverick/loner/outsider (Eigenbrötler, for the Germans among you), yet I can express myself in both ways, yet I don't know which way works better for me or better for others that have to communicate with me.
Why the fuck can’t you speak properly, though you can program properly? Why can't you do it exactly the other way around?
Tell me. I’m dying to know.20
Why can't the FUCKING Browser vendors implement TCO, for motherfuck's sake?
This pisses me off so fucking much!12
"I talked to [promoter] today, about [project]. I'll be responsible for the design, but I need somebody for the development. Do you have time starting in about two weeks? If you don't have a preference, I'll suggest WordPress. What about hosting."
I almost answered "YARBLES! BOLSHY GREAT YARBLOCKOS TO THEE AND THINE!", but instead I suggested the Phoenix framework, and Vultr for hosting.15
I fucking hate when I receive data in completely fucked up formats or structures, and just because the backend dev was obviously too freaking lazy to think five goddamn seconds about the result.
It can't be that hard to figure out, whether that chaotically nested clusterfuck could be any useful on the client side.
Hint: it fucking isn't.
This shit pisses me off to no end. Some people really are dense enough to bend light.18
I fucking hate when a specific client sends me emails about inane shit on the weekend with dubious titles that make it look as if it's a matter of life and death.
It will probably end in the latter, if that fucking dullard doesn't drop that annoying habit pretty fucking quickly.
Post scriptum: I'm stinking, fucking, filthy drunk and I fucking hate stupid people.20
*wakes up from a daydream*
What the fuck? Was that a sociopathic rapist? A nightmarish monster? A rabid dog trying rip my jugular vein to shreds?
*mind clears up*
Nevermind, it's just the fucking deadline stalking me.5