Had this recently with a client, mysql server of one of our shared hosting servers went down:

Senior engineer 1: heads up guys, mysql of {server name} is down, working on it! *calls second engineer in*
Support people: thanks for letting know! (in case clients call about it)

Me: good afternoon, how can I help you?
Client: this site which we manage for a shared customer says it can't connect to the database...
M: is it hosted on {server name of mysql problems}
C: yes.
M: there's a mysql disruption there right now, we're working on it!
C: *starts guilt tripping me about thy they chose us for stability reasons and now this happens*
M: sir, I can't change this situation so you can go on and on about that but it's not going to help anyone.
C: okay, so what can I tell my client?
M: you can tell that we have a mysql server disruption right now and are working to fix it as soon as possible!
C: and what am I going to tell my client if they don't accept that answer?
M: you can tell that we are fixing this disruption as soon as possible.
C: yes you said that but what if they don't accept that answer, what am I going to tell them THEN?!
M: Listen, sir. We have a disruption right now. It's not fun but whether I tell this by writing it to you in a fairy tail or shout it at you, it's not going to make a difference.
We have a disruption and we are working on i....


Well, fuck you too.

  • 46
    See this... This is why I can't be with customer support.

    When you said "listen, sir" I would have said "listen here mother fucker. I've said all I have to fucking say. There's a fucking error and we're fixing it."

    The levels of bullshit I can deal with are decreasing drastically.
  • 27
    @Stuxnet I've trained to stay calm and nice. 😅
  • 10
    @linuxxx it'll take quite a bit of training for me

    I guess the fact I'm shy is a positive with me remaining calm lol
  • 7
    @rantOverflow can I use this script!?
  • 0
    @rantOverflow bro, I'm stealing your script. Thanks :)
  • 0
    Clients are shit.
  • 0
    @varikvalefor you just called yourself shit lol
  • 1
    @Stuxnet "listen here you little shit"

    I have talked with assholes, they respond to action and to time wasters.

    I always use the "I'll call you when it is fixed or in X minutes what happens first" just to take them off my ears
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