How to setup Pi-Hole for a person without a Pi and is a Windows user? Yes I'm dumb

You're not dumb. Just inexperienced. :)
But no, I don't. Sorry. :(

Set up a virtual machine and point your router DNS back to it.

Like C0D4 said, and from my own experience, you can just set up a Linux Virtual machine and install it onto it.
Would love to help you with that since its a great project :)

@C0D4 Hyper-V or VirtualBox? And I can't have my laptop (yes, laptop, I'm broke) running all the time, what should I do? And my parents can be grumpy when I screw up my house's internet connection

@Kirito-kun Thanks buddy!

@PythonTryHard either
Do you have a PC?
You’ll need something that’s always on and connected to the router to run as the routers dns will be pointed to it.

That’s why we use raspberry pi’s and forget they exist behind the TV.

@C0D4 I don't have any. Really. Maybe I can refurbish a ded laptop corpse I have lying around but...I'm concerned on the cost of refurbishing would exceed the cost of a Pi3B+

@PythonTryHard if it’s not to costly sure, just keep in mind the electricity costs of running a laptop 24/7.

A pi runs on a 5v USB port in comparison.

@C0D4 Guess I'll be configing on my VM first in case stuff goes wrong for EXP then get a Pi

@PythonTryHard no problems there, just change the DNS back on your router when the VM isn’t running otherwise you’ll have a hard time finding anything on the net.

@C0D4 Al'ight, will report back if I have any progress!

@PythonTryHard You're welcome!
Any way I could contact you, if you have questions?

Do you need Pihole just for yourself? The VM solution should work just fine then as you're already using your PC. Also if others won't need it just change the Dns settings on your device. Then there's no way for you to fuck up the whole network

@Kirito-kun osu's IRC is looking nice :/

@PythonTryHard Never heard of that :/

Just get the raspberry pi. Almost nothing can go wrong, you install it with a single command: https://pi-hole.net

I would say just get a pi or repurpose old laptop with old parts, potentially more powerful/useful than just pi in long run.

Don't forget you can use the pi for so much more than just pihole if you buy one. I have 3 running various servers(file, pxe, tftp www, etc) and an old pc as an esxi hypervisor for my networking and router things

Wsl