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this has nothing dev related but idk who to ask for help so if ur not in the mood to read heavy shit and unnecessary drama skip this rant

tldr i met some girl about 3-4 months ago. she lives next to my country which is 2h of car travel to meet. everything was fine. we chat on snapchat. we talked (voice call) on snapchat about 6 days ago since now and she was normal, i made her laugh and she felt happy. all of a sudden since we ended that call the next day she didnt text me at all. i asked her questions and constructed long sentences and she replied with just 1 word. i realized something was horribly wrong. i asked her whats wrong, she said "everything". just 1 word reply at a time. i asked can you be more specific etc. she just kept writing nonsense with 1 word per chat. she wrote 3 words yesterday and i asked her over 10 questions how can i help her and to tell me whats wrong. now i finally made her answer the voice call and her voice was extremely different. she was crying and sobbing for the whole call, i kept asking her whats wrong and she kept replying "nothing" while crying. what??? i asked her: does something hurt you, did someone hurt you, did someone make you mad, did your sister make u mad (tried to be a little funny to cheer her up), etc and so many more questions and she replied to all of them "no". she does not want to tell me whats wrong and now she no longer wants to answer my text or call or sms. i said i care for you so please tell me whats wrong, im listening. she kept repeating "nothing". she told me "im alone" and she has been laying on the bed alone whole day. that's over 10 hours of laying on the bed doing nothing in the middle of the day. thats not normal. im worried she might be suicidal for whatever happened 5 days ago. i have no clue what the fuck is happening. i think she might even be kidnapped in a basement or something. can someone tell me what to do??

Comments
  • 2
    Basically, such reactions are common if you look at a short period of time (a few days at the most). However, the whole thing still seems a little "different".

    There are roughly some possibilities (there are infinitely many and probably plausible ones, but let's be brief):

    She may not talk to you about it in particular.

    It may be that she either has or had a boyfriend and he has contacted her again. So she doesn't want to hurt you, but can't tell you (rather unlikely).

    She doesn't want to talk to anyone about it - so you are only a part of the whole. Family problems ...

    She's kidding you. (it's hardly more improbable)

    She is - for whatever reason - extremely miserable. It could also be mental illnesses, weaknesses, idiocies, oddities.

    I assume you haven't asked her the right thing yet, told her the right thing. But don't blame her and maybe try not to write too often / too much. Always with caution.

    If you are able to reveal more information, it might be a bit easier.
  • 1
    But the part "I'm alone" may be somehow relevant. Try to build up on that - as I said: be careful and try not to destroy yourself.
  • 0
    @Irithyll i cant provide more info cause i also dont know what the hells happening

    wdym try not to destroy myself?

    should i keep texting her these days and keep trying to call her at least once a day to pull more info whats happening? or should i completely ignore her for a bunch of days/weeks?
  • 1
    @SukMikeHok

    Hmm ... okay.

    Well - for my part I am a very sensitive person and the problems of others are sometimes more resilient for me than for the people concerned. So be careful not to take it to heart so much that it breaks you.

    Neither one nor the other.

    Just write her - not much, not often. The "I'm alone" part - gawd - I don't know the right words but there are sentences that have to be said at certain moments in order for the desired effect to occur fully.

    The most idiotic answer - as I think - would be: "No, you are not alone. I'm here". Sometimes simple things work out, too, but in this case I don't think so.

    It is always situation-dependent what would be appropriate or what helps or does nothing. That's the hard part...

    Although I am very good at assessing situations perfectly and getting something off my chest, even if it all has to be built up in conversation and requires several "words", "feelings" to show its full effect - but this won't work here.
  • 2
    @Irithyll have you met her? Why not go to her city, two hour drive is not much.
  • 4
    If you can travel, offer to travel to her and take her to a park and cafe or somewhere like that. Get her out of the house. Do not force it, if she says no then leave it for a bit.

    If you can't do that for whatever reason, just keep in touch but don't force yourself on her. Send a message every now and then, ask to talk via voice, ask her how she is, etc. All the normal conversation stuff to remind her that you're there willing to listen should she need to talk.
  • 1
    could be ... nothing, meet her, ask her side questions, calm her, she will relax and tell you
  • 1
    @carlosjpc
    I don't need to meet her 😂 And I don't want to know her 😝
    But @SukMikeHok wants to... you need to mention him 🙈
  • 0
    @carlosjpc i havent met her yet i dont know whats her home address so i cant go there

    @Irithyll i asked her today if shes feeling better and where is she. got a reply "Bed". like what, shes laying in bed for 6 days whole day..?

    tried calling 3 times, she didnt wanna answer

    asked her if shes mad at me, did i offend her or something and got a reply "No".

    this is such unnecessary drama... i still have no clue what happened
  • 0
    I don't think it'll be possible (not impossible) that he'll be able to meet her with these cirumcstances because of her behaviour. It's more likely that there are some levels between...
    First of all he has to know what's exactly going on, then there might be a chance for cuddling in real life, not virtually. 😝 🤗

    Humans are easy to understand (for me) but I'm not a part of this 😂 Therefore it's somehow impossible... but I know these types of girls, had similar situations etc.
  • 1
    @SukMikeHok
    You should stop calling her. It's indirect forcing. She didn't say that's a problem I think but it can become one...

    I don't know if it's helping you but this is something I often write BUT it's my style, my way... never had negative reactions. And btw it's translated - in German it's easier to write wonderful sentences... haha 😂

    "Hey <her name>,

    I don't know what I can write or say. I'm worried about you.

    Of course we don't know each other personally and maybe it sounds strange: but you are important to me.

    I want to be there for you, to help you - be it just a little something... but it seems as if everything I say or do is wrong or I don't know what is going on in you.

    I am there for you when you need something. Feel cuddled so much that all the evil escapes, but don't fart! Even I can't stop THIS evil."
  • 1
    @Irithyll i just told her something else.

    im not gonna care anymore, she seems unstable, i have my own problems and im not gonna waste my time on her until she tells me whats going on.

    i realized the more you care about somebody, the less they give a fuck about you - people get comfortable and take it for granted.

    people start appreciating those who they lost in which case is too late.

    lets see how far this goes
  • 1
    @SukMikeHok
    Got some presents... the key chain shows somehow your decision 😝 😂
  • 1
    @Irithyll lmao cmon its not like that, i cant do anything to help her i tried for days. i think some of her family members died or something and she wasnt ready to cope with it. i told her I'll leave her alone for a while and to text me when she calms down
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