18
risson
228d

Halloween lovers, get the fuck off this rant, you ain't gonna like it.

MY FUCKING BALLS IN CONCRETE I SWEAR ILL DECIMATE THE NEXT FUCKER WHO COMES TO MY HOUSE FOR FUCKEN TREATS

Story time bitches:
So, I live up a hill (altitude difference of about 300 meters), that I have to bike up every day to get home. Tonight, on the way up, I was thinking "yeah no one will bother coming that high for trick or treating." Boy was I wrong. The only thing I want when I get up that hill is a big glass of water and my chair.
I arrived in front of my house and THERE THEY WERE.
fIfTeEn fUcKiNg cHiLdReN
I left my bike on the floor, far enough from them and hopefully made it to the door. Man, those things jump around and make so much noise. Shouting and begging for candies. I was like "Are your parents so awful they don't give you candy that you have to come all the way up here to annoy the fuck out of me??"
But you know, I'm a nice guy, so I went to the kitchen to get some old madeleines that no one would have eaten anyways so they would leave me the fuck alone.
Now I'm hiding in my room, all lights out, scared that more might come:

Comments
  • 5
    You gave them madeleines ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • 4
    Shit now they're ringing my doorbell. Please think no one's home
  • 4
    Show them your spaghetti code
  • 2
    You really don't like kids...
  • 2
    @GyroGearloose I don't care about children. But those who annoy me, those I really don't like
  • 3
    Actually I don't like most people, same for small people
  • 4
    Do not open the door. I repeat: do. not. open. the. door.

    Those creatures can communicate effectively. Proceed with caution.
  • 4
    madeleines ๐Ÿ’›
  • 5
    @risson leave the "fuck off" note on your door
  • 4
    Indians have this covered. It's almost Diwali so there are swastikas outside most indian homes ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The Nazis used the **reverse** swastika but almost no one cares to know the difference.

    Edit: for bonus points if anyone knocks answer the door in a trench coat, a red armband, and the heaviest German accent you can muster
  • 2
    @woodworks Punjazis ๐Ÿ˜‚
  • 1
    I didn't open the door all evening. House got egged.
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