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Wanna mess with users? Take
“OK” and “Cancel”.
You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?
“NO” and “Confirm”.
Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.22
1. Have some issue with my code which spits out cryptic compiler error.
2. Ask on stack overflow, Reddit, etc for a solution.
3. Get scolded at for "not reading the documentation" and "asking questions which could be answered by just Googling". Still no clue what I'm doing wrong, or what the solution would be.
4. Find someone else's vaguely related problem.
5. Post my problematic code as the answer, with arrogant comment about OP being a retard for not figuring that out for themselves.
6. A dozen angry toxic nerds flock in to tell me how retarded and wrong I am, correcting me... solving my original problem.
7. Evil plan succeeded, my code compiles, and as a bonus I made the internet a worse place in the process.
I think if you tell a bunch of autistic neckbeards that "all coronaviruses are fundamentally incurable", you'd have a vaccine within a week.16
Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.
WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.
E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!
Mother of FUCKING god.
My mom died when I was 7, after which my dad bought me a Commodore 64 so I had something to lose myself in during the mourning process.
I learned everything about that system, from my first GOTO statement to sprite buffers, to soldering my own EPROM cartridges. My dad didn't deal with the loss so well, and became a missing person 5 years later when I was 12.
I got into foster care with a bunch of strict religious cultists who wouldn't allow electronics in the house.
So I ran away at 14, sub-rented a closet in a student apartment using my orphan benefits and bought a secondhand IBM computer. I spent about 16 hours a day learning about BSD and Linux, C, C++, Fortran, ADA, Haskell, Livescript and even more awful things like Visual Basic, ASP, Windows NT, and Active Directory.
I faked my ID (back then it was just a laminated sheet of paper), and got a job at 15-pretending-to-be-17 at one of the first ISPs in my country. I wrote the firmware and admin panel for their router, full of shitty CGI-bin ASP code and vulnerabilities.
That somehow got me into a job at Microsoft, building the MS Office language pack for my country, and as an official "conflict resolver" for their shitty version control system. Yes, they had fulltime people employed just to resolve VCS conflicts.
After that I worked at Arianespace (X-ray NDT, visualizing/tagging dicom scans, image recognition of faulty propellant tank welds), and after that I switched to biotech, first phytogenetics, then immunology, then pharmacokynetics.
In between I have grown & synthesized and sold large quantities of recreational drugs, taken care of some big felines, got a pilot license, taught IT at an elementary school, renovated a house, and procreated.
A lot of it was to prove myself to the world -- prove that a nearly-broke-orphan-high-school-dropout could succeed at life.
But hey, now I work for a "startup", so I guess I failed after all.24
Things I learned this month.
1. Do not reference your solution as a hack. As in "I can make a hack to get around that" management actually views the solution as bad. But present the same solution with "I have this idea to get around that" then they love it and think you're great.
2. Management has no idea the difference between ML and if/else statements. If you can mimick ML with if/else then do it. Takes a lot less time and resources.
3. Don't enter a video meeting in just your skivvies, management views this as bad and HR will release a bunch of work-from-home policies in retaliation.
4. When explaining things to management don't try to explain the technical stuff. Is a waste of time and breath. All they really want to know is when you will be done. They don't care the difficulty level of the code involved.
I'm sure next month I'll learn more things.12
Talking to my son today about one of his CS classes, not sure which.
He says: "I missed the lecture yesterday, but I'm not going to bother re-watching it."
Me: "Why? You really should. You're paying for these classes AND you really need to actually learn this stuff."
Son: "Well, because I got 100% on my last assignment without going to class. I just Google'd everything and figured it out on my own from what I found."
My wife out of the blue: "DAMN IT, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE REAL WORK WORLD!"
Oh, you poor, uninformed summer child. I love her, but she just doesn't know that my son has already learned the key lesson he needed to learn from his schooling in order to get a job and make good money in this field! #ProudTechieDadMoments10
Things I'm half decent at: Writing code
Things I am absolutely the worst at: Managing projects
Things I got employed for: Writing code
Things I do: Managing projects21
I tried DuckDuckGo like two years ago and my opinion was “meh, I don’t like the results”.
Yesterday @Root made it clear that the sole amount of data collected changes the whole perspective of tracking.
I went to shower thinking about that and as I was standing there enjoying warm water...
It hit me.
I liked google results and disliked DDG not because DDG was worse.
I liked google results because they were CRAFTED for ME to LIKE them. They exploited my confirmation bias, the strongest of all biases.
I took my other phone which is android, has a different sim that isn’t tied to my identity (don’t ask, this is Russia), was never connected to my WiFi and of course has no google account tied to it.
I tried googling stuff.
The results was just like what DDG gets you, the only difference was google amp were on top.
The fuck. One of the wokest moments ever.114
Dear mobile apps devs,
No one's gonna hate you if you do not provide a multilingual support. Just, please, stop using Google Translate and force the app's language to the phone system's. It's just dumb
A non native english speaker16
Recruiter: "Do you have at least 5 years of experience with Angular?"
Me: "No, barely half a year"
Recruiter: "Then why did you get in touch with me?"
Me: "You were the one calling me [you moron]"4
Well, after lurking in the dark for years, I finally created an account just so I could downvote a certain security related post.
However, I am lacking the necessary ++.
So a "hello, world!" with a sprinkle of rant it is:
Show WIP Feature, state that it will be probably done by tomorrow, excluding time for peer review
Be my PM:
"Can we release this today?"
This happend so often that "Can we release this yesterday?" became a common phrase among my coworkers and me if someone is ranting about something broken in their feature. Probably gonna try using it here as well :D19
I had to integrate an internal service. The doc said:
fuck me I had to reverse engineer it.5
So just recently my school blocked the following for unknown reasons websites
The hacker news
The Debian package repositories yea all of em
And all domains that end in .io
Now some of you out there are probably just saying "well just use a vpn" the answer to that is I can't the only device I have a locked down school iPad can't install apps cannot delete apps cannot change vpn or proxy setting's I cannot use Safari private tab they have google safe search restricted to "on" they even have "safari restricted mode which lets safari choose what it wants to block" and even when I'm on my home wifi it's s still blocked as they use Cisco security connector THIS IS HELL
Also this is my first post :)23
I hate it when someone asks what my hobbies are and say, "Can you sell it? If not then you just wasted time and money." Did I say it was a job or a business, you boring jerk? You spend your whole day on social media, does it pay, huh? What are YOUR hobbies? Facebook is not a hobby, get the fuck out of here.
My favorite, "Someone already made something like that." Did I say it was groundbreaking innovation, you basic bitch? Someone already made someone like you and yet here we are. You came from the same damn template of people who were born to be thrown into a body farm and studied. There's your career, take it now.
Did you hear/read your own question? Dumb shit like this always comes from people who have zero life, hobbies, or sometimes even jobs (not for lack of opportunity, they just think it's more productive to shit on everyone else's life decisions). Ah, the bitterness from the starving peasant-minded dickfucks.
"BuT sOmE pEoPlE cAnT aFfOrD tO hAvE hObBiEs."
I don't give a fuck. You use the word "hobby", you better fucking mean it. Stop changing the topic. It's not my obligation to pull your lazy, uncreative, bitter ass away from poverty.42
My family didn't support me become a dev. In fact, they sent my brother to a programming course and me to play tennis (gender tracking at its finest). Luckily, both me and my brother didn't give up our true calling. Today, I'm a developer and he is a gym instructor/personal trainer.8
This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.
What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!52
Got basically nothing done yesterday because I was absolutely exhausted the entire day. Thanks, doxxing thread. But I couldn’t sleep anyway so whatever.
Told everyone at home that I wanted a really productive day tomorrow (today) because of it.
Guess what happened?
Endless fucking distractions.
Because of course.
• Cooking since apparently it’s my job.
• Extended computer repair and maintenance, since that’s apparently my job even when it’s not my computer.
• Children following me.
• People paraphrasing politics.
• People summarizing stupid fail videos.
• People relating stupid prank videos.
• More conversations.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• Endless noises from children’s toys, tablets, playing, etc.
• Children following me when I leave.
• Taking half an hour to order food instead of five minutes.
• Cleaning since nobody else ever does.
• Picking up toys since nobody else will and I’M FUCKING TIRED OF STEPPING ON AND TRIPPING OVER THEM.
• More fucking food prep.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• More conversations.
Is it any wonder I’m so fucking pissed off every workday?
I can’t wait to move so I can have a fucking office with a fucking door and a fucking lock. And you know what? I’m going to splurge and install some fucking soundproofing, too.
WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!? I’M PAYING FOR YOUR FUCKING EVERYTHING. FUCK THE FUCK OFF!23
So there is this girl who joined the company as a trainee.
The company developed a 1 year project to train 25 trainees and she joined saying that she already had some experience making websites. (remember this)
They started in the beginning of January and stayed for about 3 months just studying the platform (Salesforce) and receiving some classes from Senior Devs, on subjects like OOP basics, loops, conditions and features of the platform.
After this time they joined the teams, 2 joined my team, a guy with 32 years that worked 10 years in a bank and wanted to go for a IT job and the girl of 22.
We gave her a really small task, just to make a code to copy info from one field to the other on a list of objects.
After 3 days of saying she was working on it we asked her to show us the code, she had written the "code" directly in the class, VS Code was going crazy with errors. When we asked her "But where is the method?", she answered "What is a method?"
After it we had other experiences trying to teach her some things. The team was formed by me (mid level dev), another mid level dev, a senior and a architect (who was self taught and one of the best teachers I've ever seen).
We tried for about 3 months to teach her how to do basic stuff, like a for loop, and every time we learned that she was missing some "foundations" of this basic stuff, so we would come back and explain the foundation, and a couple times she needed to use this knowledge like a week later and didn't remember shit.
So after this the team talked with our leader that we wanted to let her go and focus on the other guy who was going really well and some other junior devs who had joined the team.
But the HR found out that she had sued her last company, we don't know the reason, but HR guys were afraid of firing her without a careful firing process.
So now we're stuck with her in the team, and everything we ask her to do need to be remade, not because the code is bad, but because it NEVER works
And after all this I still ask myself, how did she finish college? Every person that i know that studied CS or CS like courses had a lot of OOP or at least knew what a class and a method were supposed to be.34
I was expecting a 4th interview this afternoon for a position as a fullstack elixir developer.
Got a response from the CTO.
'Even if you pass all the tests with success, we could not go further because you're a junior and we're looking for a senior'
Well, dude, you've seen me 3 times and didn't understand that I was a junior ? My CV is not enough explicit ? It's written at the top of it...
So after a motivation interview, technical test, technical interview and Phoenix framework interview, they only realized yet the plot.
Good luck for your seniors to pass their knowledge to other seniors.20