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Fuck all the corporate bullshit
- We support diversity but we’re quite happy to make money in countries that don’t
- Join all our clubs so we can take photos of our staff having ‘fun’
- Let’s send our staff 10 corporate bullshit emails a day
- Let’s have as many company update meetings as possible about absolutely nothing
- We are a family
- Share how great we are on your social network
And the worst of all
- Even though you are a developer you can’t have local admin rights because of security
Fuck this, I’m done and planning my exit!!17
4+ years ago, in an interview, I was asked if I was familiar with keeping backups of my code on Google Drive.
When I asked them to explain what that is, they said that after a deployment, they make a ZIP file of the project and keep it on Google Drive.
When I asked about using GitHub/BitBucket they said they don't know what that is and neither do they intend on using it.
So yeah .....12
Couple years ago, in an Indian web dev company I worked at, the management decided it would be a good idea to ask all employees to "justify their salary" and submit their answers via email.
(You read that right)
70% workforce submitted their resignation the same day, resulting in the HR (who came up with this idea) getting fired on the spot.
When pandemic hit in 2020 I found myself out of work. Until then I used to have a java based pirate gameserver of a MMORPG as a hobby.
When pandemic hit I noticed that online players count increased from like 70 to 200 without much advertising because purely of people being stuck in home. So i decided to scale and spent 2 years with that. What a wild ride it was.
So i invested a bit in ads, managed to reach around 500 online players, opened my own company and launched a couple other successful spinoffs of that gameserver.
First year it was a goldmine but I was doing 10-14 hour days because I had to take care of everything (web, advertising, payment integrations, player support and also developing the server itself, ddos protections and etc.). I made quite a bit of money, saved for a downpayment for mortgage and got an apartment.
Second year I noticed that there was a lot of competition and online players count dropped, but I double downed on this and invested a lot into the product itself and spent most of the time developing a perfect gameserver that would be the big bang while also maintaining existing ones. Clasic overengineering mistake. As you can guess, I crashed and burned on all levels, never even managed to launch my final project because simply the scope was too big and I had trouble finding decent devs to outsource it to, since it was a very niche gameserver.
In the end I learned a lot especially about my own limits and ownership, now Im back to being a dev but working as a contractor.
I believe having actual business owner experience allows me to have different perspective and I can bring more to the table rather than focusing on crunching tasks.6
AWS has identified suspicious activity on my account.
I'm using it for the first time in 2 years. That's the suspicious activity.5
A female boss I worked for, pulled an employee retention tactic that still gives me the chills.
She paid dogshit salaries to all her employees. And yelled at them enough to keep them overworked and burnt out.
When one of them tried to resign, she said "fine you can leave us but I won't be giving you any salary slips, no experience/recommendation letter and neither acknowledge that you ever worked here.
You get to leave the company when I decide for you.
You have already stayed here so long that if you decide to disappear tomorrow it will leave a gap on your resume in your next interview."18
At the data restaurant:
Chef: Our freezer is broken and our pots and pans are rusty. We need to refactor our kitchen.
Manager: Bring me a detailed plan on why we need each equipment, what can we do with each, three price estimates for each item from different vendors, a business case for the technical activities required and an extremely detailed timeline. Oh, and do not stop doing your job while doing all this paperwork.
Some time later a customer gets to the restaurant.
Waiter: This VIP wants a burguer.
Boss: Go make the burger!
Chef: Our frying pan is rusty and we do not have most of the ingredients. I told you we need to refactor our kitchen. And that I cannot work while doing that mountain of paperwork you wanted!
Boss: Let's do it like this, fix the tech mumbo jumbo just enough to make this VIP's burguer. Then we can talk about the rest.
The chef then runs to the grocery store and back and prepares to make a health hazard hurried burguer with a rusty pan.
Waiter: We got six more clients waiting.
Boss: They are hungry! Stop whatever useless nonsense you were doing and cook their requests!
Cook: Stop cooking the order of the client who got here first?
Boss: The others are urgent!
Cook: This one had said so as well, but fine. What do they want?
Waiter: Two more burgers, a new kind of modern gaseous dessert, two whole chickens and an eleven seat sofa.
Chef: Why would they even ask for a sofa?!? We are a restaurant!
Boss: They don't care about your Linux techno bullshit! They just want their orders!
Cook: Their orders make no sense!
Boss: You know nothing about the client's needs!
That is how I feel every time I have to deal with a boss who can't tell a PostgreSQL database from a robots.txt file.
Or everytime someone assumes we have a pristine SQL table with every single column imaginable.
Or that a couple hundred terabytes of cold storage data must be scanned entirely in a fraction of a second on a shoestring budget.
Or that years of never stored historical data can be retrieved from the limbo.
Or when I'm told that refactoring has no ROI.
Fuck data stack cluelessness.
Fuck clients that lack of basic logical skills.2
Got rejected by a company in Italy because in order to work for them remotely apparently I need to have Italian VISA. Tried to reason with them that I'm an EU citizen and I don't need a VISA but they wouldn't budge. Its either VISA or ASTALAVISTA19
You are all beautiful people. Thank you for your unique mix of talents to make for a variety filled platform. I have come to appreciate different parts of the industry due to exposure on this site. It is great to joke around and just "be" here. No pressure, just banter and the occasional fighting. I think this is a good thing. I hope this place grows.
Remember, you are important and awesome in your own way.4
I almost gave up. I allready wrote an email to may boss, to admit my approach doesn't work, that he was right from the beginning, that i can't do it with a brunch of bash scripts, but special software has to be bought. I almost gave up. But then i just googled around a little more and found another approach to solve my problem. And it fucking worked!15
Worst code review experience?
Hard to pick just one, but most were in a big meeting room with 4+ other developers not related to the project and with some playing Monday-Morning-Quarterback instead of offering productive feedback.
In one code review, the department mgr reviewed the code from a third party component library.
<brings up the code on the big screen>
Mgr: "I can't read any of this, its a mix of English and something else."
Me: "Its German."
Mgr: "Then why is 'Button' in English? This code is a mess."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how I should respond, I mean, I didn't write any of this code."
Mgr: "Yes, but you are using it, so it's fair game for a code review."
Me: "Its not really open source, but we can make requests if you found something that needs to be addressed."
Mgr: "Oh yes, all this...whatever this is..<pointing again to the German>"
Me: "I don't think they will change their code to English just so you can read it."
Mgr: "We paid good money, you bet your ass they'll change it!"
Me: "I think the components were like $30 for the unlimited license. They'll tell us to go to hell first. Is there something about my code you want to talk about?"
Mgr: "<Ugggh>...I guess not, I couldn't get past all that German. Why didn't we go with an American company? Hell, why didn't we just write these components ourselves!?"
Me: "Because you gave a directive that if we found components that saved us time, to put in a request, and you approved the request. The company is American, they probably outsourced or hired German developers. I don't know and not sure why we care."
Mgr: "Security! What if they are sending keystrokes back to their servers!"
Me: "Did you see any http or any network access?"
Mgr: "How could I? The code is in German!"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback1: "If it were me, I would have written the components myself and moved on"
Me: "No, I don't think you could for less than $30"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback2: "Meh...we get paid anyway. Just add the time to the estimate."
Mgr: "Exactly! Why do we even have developers who can't read this mess."
Me: "Oh good Lord! Did anyone review or even look at my code for this review!?"
Mgr: "Oh...ok...I guess we're done here. Thanks everyone."
<everyone starts to leave>
Me: "Whoa!...wait a sec..am I supposed to do something?"
Mgr: "Get that company to write their code in English so we can read it. You have their number, call em'...no...wait...give me their number. You keep working, I'll take care of this personally"
In they nicest way possible, the company did tell him to go to hell.18
Warning: American perspective of some shit that happens in America that I do not know if it is the same in other places of the world.
I got a notification from my child's school saying that she has been selected for doing <bs activity> between the hours of 1-3 and that parent cooperation is expected. I called the institution and told them that she would not be participating. They asked me WHY, to which I answered that said schedule does not align with my daily schedule. They continue to press as to WHY she would not make it to which I added in a very harsh tone: "because I am fucking working and my wife is fucking working, what age do you think it is? the 1950s in which I can have some meaningless desk job and pay for a house that would be worth half a mil now a days when my wife stays at home all day and just goes with whatever whim y'all have?"
Needless to say, she is no longer in said activity group, but this seems to be very frequent inside of school systems in the U.S, they really ain't evolved much.
No, wait, they have, we have active shooter trainings now, that shit is semi-new.18
I don't like how being an entrepreneur is glamorized these days.
People make you think that just starting a company will make you rich.
But we don't really pay attention to the hundreds of startups that fail each year. (And that could very well be you).
We only pay attention to those that do make it.10
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4
Fuck long covid / ME/CFS.
This is day two of being bedridden.
I want to have energy again. And be able to move and do even simple things without collapsing for hours or days at a time.
Me: I have 7+ years of experience as a frontend developer. I’m very proficient with modern frameworks and tools such as React, Vite, etc.
Senior technical HR Generalist recruiter: are you familiar with HTML?
Seriously, HRs are so dumb1