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Manager: Why did you clear the data from the database? The client is now specifically requesting it and we don’t have it anymore!
Dev: You told me to.
Manager: Well why did you listen? It’s obvious now that that data was very important and should have been kept!
Dev: Last time you told me to do something that wasn’t a good idea I tried to explain why and told me not to question you ever again and that doing so was “disrespectful” and then threatened to have me fired. So now I just go along with what you say and let you suffer the consequences of not listening.
Manager: Well don’t do that then! It’s obviously not working very well! It’s ok to disagree with me you just have to make sure that what you think is something I agree with!
Dev: …15 -
I'm finally gonna quit!
Turning in my resignation tomorrow.
I can't wait to see the faces who took advantage of me!. First time in a while, I'm excited about Monday 😂
Context: https://devrant.com/rants/5053549/...16 -
User: *Clicks on staging environment*
Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT
Users: Ok
App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*
User: Ok
Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY
User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.
Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Dev: …11 -
Root: Fleshes out missing data in some factories. Tests affected code and finds the change breaks some specs (but shouldn’t).
Root: Reaches out to spec author.
Root: Messages thundercunt (the ticket’s code reviewer) on slack about the specs and the reaching out. No response.
Root: Works on another ticket while blocked.
Root: Logs off.
Root: Talks with spec author chick in the morning. Decide to pair on specs later.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Gives update in standup. Mentions factories and broken specs. Mentions pairing with spec chick.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Pulled off tickets in favor of prod issue. Gets ignored by everyone else diagnosing prod issue. Investigates prod issue by herself. Discovers prod issue isn’t from bad code, but bad requirements — code works as requested. Communicates this with details. Gets ignored by people still diagnosing prod issue. Tries again. Gets ignored. Gives up. Works on non-blocked tickets instead.
TC: Still no slack response.
Hours later:
TC: Comments on PR telling me I broke specs (how did I not notice?), that I need to reach out to spec chick and work with her, and that I can’t resolve the ticket until it’s fixed and passes code review.
TC: Still no slack response. (21 hours later at this point)
TC: Logs off. Still no response (25 hours at this point)
———
Ignoring the prod issue for the moment…
I broke specs. No shit.
I need to talk with spec chick. No shit.
I can’t resolve the ticket. No shit!
Bitch, I told you all of this 21 fucking hours prior, and again 3 hours prior during standup. But no, I clearly “don’t communicate” and obviously have no bloody clue what I’m doing, either, so I need everything spelled out for me.
And no, I didn’t resolve the fucking ticket. Why the fuck would I if it still has pending changes? Do you even check? Ugh!
And what the fuck with that prod issue? I’m literally giving you the answer. fucking listen! Stupid cunts.
Why is it all of the women I work with are useless or freaking awful people? Don’t get me wrong, many of the men are, too, but I swear it’s every single one of the women. (Am I awful, too?)
Just. Ugh.
I can’t wait to leave this sewer of a company.
Oddly still a good day, though. Probably because I talked to recruiters and sent out my resume again.rant oh my root gets ignored. root swears oh my root talks in third person root solves a prod issue thundercunt root communicates root wants to leave root gets ignored14 -
Today was a productive day
Worked for an entire hour.
Then won 4 war Thunder games
Climbed 300 in clash of Clans
Took a nap
Had a beer6 -
My boss, delusional as always and getting worse every week, conveys the news that eight interns have been taken on. Without asking us seniors if that would be a good idea.
Us: ”who should, you know, actually help these good people out?”
Boss: ”we will have to work that out”
Us: ”we don’t have the time actually to do this without seriously pushing deadlines forward”
Boss: ”we will have to work something out so that this does not happen”
Us: ”soo, we don’t have to actually help these guys and girls once they are here?”
Boss: ”no, they obviously need a lot of help. What we do here are really complex”
Us: 😬8 -
Every 2 months without fail:
Manager: I don’t understand what the point of writing tests is. They only ever pass and when they fail we just fix them so they pass again! It’s completely redundant!!! An exercise in absolute futility!
Dev: …13 -
Just got an E-Mail about a small Chrome extension I made. They want me to add a Bing search button lol. What would I get in return?
Quote:
> you could earn $0.65 per month, and we don't want you to miss out on such an opportunity
What an opportunity indeed.9 -
“Master” in “master branch” has nothing to do with slavery. It is obvious. There were no “slave” branches.
If you insist that this is offensive to black people, and I cannot comprehend it, because I am not black, you imply that there are things black people can understand, and white people cannot, thus, the intellectual capacity to comprehend things depends on race. This is the definition of racism. You’re racist. Congratulations.
there ya go, dismantled it for ya35 -
Manager: I don’t understand! How come you take twice as long to do tickets as anyone else but your PRs are stuck in QA for half the time as anyone else??
Dev: …8 -
These clowns make my blood boil.
fullStackClown: Hey I need some info on that specific color you want for this design
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this <<sends screenshot>>
fullStackClown: That is not a color, it is a screenshot
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Do you know what hex code that is for that color? Can you ask the design team what color from our corporate identity they used?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Not helping... okay fine I used the eyedropper and I see the hex code is not used anywhere else in our app, so what color should I use?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: ...22 -
!dev
lol I keep getting in trouble over people taking secondhand-offense, and managers keep bringing up the same instances like I’m somehow at fault.
Look, if Alice says something to Bob, and Carol hears it and gets offended on Bob’s behalf, but Bob doesn’t? Carol should jump off a bridge.10 -
PM (on slack): "we’re about to deploy to production".
Me: "ok"
… I keep on working on a task / remain available for any post deployment issues …
PM (5 minutes later on slack): "deployment broke production! We need to handle this NOW!"
My dev colleague has already called it a day, but I’m still online
Me: "ok I don’t have access to prod, can you describe what’s going on? I can’t reproduce on any other environment"
PM: …
10 minutes go by
Me: "anybody there?"
PM: …
45 minutes later, I realize PM is offline
The following day:
PM: "ok we got prod running again" (turns out it was client’s fault for not updating a config we as devs can’t access)
PM: "but we’re REALLY UPSET! You guys need to be available to intervene for any issues following deployment to production! At least one of you should be available!"
Me: "but, but…" 🫠12 -
god i hate this company's product.
Visit merchant-facing sandbox -> 404. works after a refresh.
Log into sandbox with admin account -> redirects to a different signin url -> 500s -> signin no longer works.
wheeeeee!11 -
I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.
During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.
Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!
------
Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."
TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)
Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."
TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)
------
But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.
I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.
Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.
Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.rant thundercunt the ugly boulder responds jabba the hutt root asks questions root has a code review6 -
Senior colleagues insisting on ALWAYS returning HTTP status 200 and sticking any error codes in the contained JSON response instead of using 4×× or 5×× statuses.
Bad input? Failed connections? Missing authorization? Doesn't matter, you get an OK. Wanna know if the request actually succeeded? Fuck you, parse potential kilobytes of JSON to get to the error code!
Am I the asshole or is that defeating the purpose of a status code?!15 -
User: There’s a bug in the app
Dev: How do I reproduce it?
User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Dev: …5 -
Please. Hear me out.
I've been doing frontend for six years already. I've been a junior dev, then in was all up to the CTO. I've worked for very small companies. Also, for the very large ones. Then, for huge enterprises. And also for startups. I've been developing for IE5.5, just for fun. I've done all kinds of stuff — accessibility, responsive design (with or without breakpoints), web components, workers, PWA, I've used frameworks from Backbone to React. My favourite language is CSS, and you probably know it. The bottom line is, you name it — I did it.
And, I want to say that Safari is a very good browser.
It's very fast. Especially on M1 Macs. Yes, it lacks customization and flexibility of Firefox, but general people, not developers, like to use it. Also, Safari is very important — Apple is a huge opposing force to Google when it comes to web standards. When Google pushes their BS like banning ad blockers, Apple never moves an inch. If we lose Safari, you'll notice.
As for the Safari-specific bugs situation, well… To me, Safari serves as a very good indicator: if your website breaks in Safari, chances are you used some hacks that are no good. Safari is a good litmus test I use to find the parts of my code that could've been better.
The only Safari-specific BUG I encountered was a blurry black segment in linear gradients that go from opaque to transparent. So, instead of linear-gradient(#f00, transparent), just do linear-gradient(#f00f, #f000).
This is the ONLY bug I encountered. Every single time my website broke in Safari other than that, was for some ugly hack I used.
You don't have to love it. I don't even use it, my browser of choice is Firefox. But, I'm grateful to Safari, just because it exists. Why? Well, if Safari ceases to exist, Google will just leave both W3C and WhatWG, and declare they'll be doing things their way from now on. Obey or die.
Firefox alone is just not big enough. But, together with Safari, they oppose Google's tyranny in web standards game.
Google will declare the victory and will turn the web into an authoritarian dictatorship. No ad blockers will be allowed. You won't be able to block Google's trackers. Google already owns the internet, well, almost, and this will be their final, devastating victory.
But Safari is the atlas that keeps the web from destruction.22 -