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Do you have haldol? That stuff destroyed me. It eats you alive. I have now a regular dosis injected monthly but it was three times more or so. Stared at a wall for 1,5 year and walked 20's or even 30's miles at the beginning in my own house due restlessness. It's measured with a step counter.
But yeah, let's face it, it resolves psychosis and mania 100%. Regarding that it works. Only medication they want to give me, no other options. -
@tamagotchi no but something similar and way milder
I wasn't that bad
I think all the stress did genuinely mess with my dopamine system. It should probably repair whenever I can get my mystery inflammation down
walking helps? thanks. I wanted to fucking run at the wall. settled for slapping myself silly everywhere
the thing I'm on wasn't that bad at the beginning
kicker is? I can still do magic perfectly fine. I just have better control of it and less ADHD / the out of control "go go go" lol. so the "psychosis" I can just control now... but it's the same as I can control myself as a general better with the drug
fuuuuuck the restlessness though what the fuuuck. I get VIOLENT if I'm distracted from what I'm into and I feel that same fucking violence. they kept asking me if I'm violent and I said no. but on these pills FUUUUCK cuz it'll make the fucking "restlessness" go the fuck away so I'm just exploding in rage trying to make it fucking stop. grrrr. well anyway that was earlier -
@jestdotty no, walking doesn't help, just couldn't stop it. It had this effect on me (when i had a high dosis injected):
- huge urge to move while not wanting to move. It dodn't make you move, only urging, you had to do the move yourself, so you was constantly busy with it. Also, it just wanted move, not something structured like walking or cycling. Else i would've spend whole days on a bicycle, no biggy.
- makes me retarded as fuck
- no suicidal but also no happiness - just totally dead inside. Not even caring enough anymore of wanting dead.
I would actually use it to torture people. -
@tamagotchi well I feel pure suffering
I wouldn't care if I felt no emotions. I suppressed them most my life anyway. doesn't bug me
also rip about no salvaging. faaaawwkkk
and evidently they don't want me to do dopamine inducing things anymore either. but the pain is cuz no dopamine. like if I'm in so much pain how could you ask that of me lol
yeah definitely good torture device
sooo... haldol and whatever anti psychotics reduce dopamine sensitivity (cuz high dopamine gives mania, then psychosis)
and a consequence of this is what they call "restlessness". I didn't feel it at first. but now I keep feeling PURE SUFFERING. and it makes me wanna run at walls or something just to make it shut up. the guy mentioned it offhandedly... and it's the one thing they said would go away but not all the other symptoms which did go away... well this one appears to be getting worse over time. at first it was mild but now I get ridiculous bouts. I can't even focus on anything now. I'm just in pure pain. the fuck man. weigh like a ton of bricks. wtf. why. jesus
annoyingly it comes on in the evening, milder, when I try to sleep. also happens when I try to sit and do something. again, milder. right now my whole body screams instead. is this gonna be for hours. bruh. what the fuck honestly. and it's not timed to the pill I'm eating, so why the fuck does it come on and off fucking randomly. sometimes far worse than other times. grrrrrrr. God just what the fuck man. pure suffering
rant