I'm really in a pickle. I hate people being pissed at me, in fact it stresses me out tremendously. I have to make a choice on Friday and no matter what that choice is, someone is going to be extremely pissed off.

I passed all the drug test, background physical, offer was not rescinded.

It is a significant pay increase if I choose that option, i mean really significant, life changing significant. Plus I'll be on a team of mostly really young kids, and have access to learn other languages.

Or if I stay, I get left alone and can do whatever i want without really answering to anyone.

This choice is actually making me physically ill, not because of the choice itself, but because of having to piss someone off badly with my choice.

Japan has a web service called EXIT that quits for you and does all the interaction so you don't have to do anything at all. I really need that service in the US. Because i really hate it. I really was expecting the offer to be rescinded so i haven't given much thought until i got the official word today.

  • 4
    Ultimately, it's not just about me either. I used a recruiter, so if i decline the job he doesn't get his significant pay, i will be blackballed with recruiters, or at least this one, I'd feel really really bad. So i guess the only choice is to take the job.
  • 22
    Take the job. Being left alone and not answering to anyone isn’t terribly fulfilling long term unless you have obscene amounts of motivation. Most people have to choose between fulfilment OR pay. Sounds like you’re choosing between both or neither. It’s a no brainier surely?
  • 18
    Take the job.

    Take it or @Root will be angry at you.
  • 15
    Don't worry that much. Just be honest to the other part, and say how you are grateful for the opportunity you had. People just needed to be appreciated for their time and effort invested. You will be OK.
    Also, the new offer sounds great.
  • 9
    Take it
  • 8
    Take the new job. Please.
  • 6
    What @nanl said! Don't shy away from having an honest conversation about WHY you took the job.

    Share what are your goals in life and how the new job is a better fit or will significantly contribute to reach those goals. Don't waste brain cycles worrying (assuming) about what the other will think and how they will react (or Vue!)

    I had to make a similar decision at a younger age and didn't share any of my reasoning, going on to carry the weight of that "injust" decision for the other person for years. At some point I did meet my "recruiter" again and he couldn't care less be becajse for him it was just business!
  • 8
    If they are pissed, because you leave, it is their own choice and problem.

    Do not explain yourself too much. Be honest and tell them the truth, so you don't burn bridges.

    Switching to a significantly better paid job allows you to demand more in the future. It raises your market value.
    Please, do not hesitate to take that opportunity!
  • 3
    Take the job.
  • 2
    I have been in your situation. In the long run, no one profits if you stay. And be assured that they won't be pissed for long anyway. Everybody can and will be replaced.
  • 11
    I am taking job. Since @Root had the balls to do it, and I respect her immensely it is my time to do it as well :)
  • 3
    Pls keep up informed and updated/ And congradulations.
  • 4
    @hash-table I also say take the job.

    As there always is, relevant xkcd https://xkcd.com/1768/
  • 4
  • 5
    Yup. Sounds like the only reason to stay is safety and familiarity, which you should never accept as valid arguments to stay. There must be passion, challenge, room for growth.

    I know you can do this.
  • 2
    Well, literally after over 2 weeks jumping through hoops and literally 10 minutes before i submitted my resignation letter, the new company starts being "concerned" about my formal education, or lack thereof. Since I audit most of the classes on edX.org I don't really have any proof I took them, but I have proven I know what I know, I have proven that knowledge is more important than credentials, but they don't seem to see it that way, so fuck them. I'm not going to start a new job under this much scrutiny from the beginning.

    If they are already this suspicious and formal education means this much to them, it's not for me.

    I'll continue to look elsewhere, somewhere that isn't stuck so far in the past and puts such credence on the very basic skills that come from a completely unrelated, but seemingly necessary piece of paper.
  • 1
    Ouch that's terrible!
    Good for you that you didn't hand your resignation letter in, yet.

    If formal education was this important to them, they should have told you from the beginning. Everything else is foul play!
  • 1
    In the end, I turned down the new job.

    Although the pay increase would have been substantial, I just had a gut feeling it wasn't the right move at this time.

    There were some red flags, plus the main issue i had was they didn't offer two weeks vacation up front, i would have to work an entire year before i was eligible. I didn't want to give up my vacation, second, i really like to travel, my current company allows me to do that and even pays for a lot of it and I can work remote. The new company is an old brand stiff in it's ways, I really felt it isn't the place for me, so went with my gut.

    Although the salary increase would have been nice, and improving my market share considerably, it's just overshadowed by other things.

    Sometimes money isn't everything.
  • 2
    Not even two weeks? Thank god here in Austria it is a legal requirement to grant 25 days of paid vacation to each full time worker. Technically you are only eligible for the whole amount after 6 months or so, but I never had any trouble getting a couple of days before that.
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