alright listen

ive had enough of life

ive been through a lot

if the project i am working on right now does not work out as planned

i am going to jump off a bridge near where i live

i promise.

don't care what other people will think and how they will feel. no one will be harmed but myself. it is all my fault and i will take the whole blame.

because of college i fucked up my first of all mental health. then my physical health. now i am turning into alcoholic. it is also making me aggressive. i lost all my nerves from stress. i am losing all my patience. it is killing all the high threshold of discipline that i had. i dont like where this is going.

but that is fine. at least i know what i am not born for in this life.

if the only thing left that i like to do does not work out, there is no reason to stay alive.

let 2019 decide the future.

  • 5
    Calm down and quit. You will find something new. There is always light at the end of this dark and horrible tunnel
  • 1
    You know what you want to know.
  • 8
    Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. But we are not the right community to help you, even though we all would love to. Please get some professional help!
  • 6
    OR, you could seek help.
    What do you do when you are ill? You go see a doctor and you take your medicine, until you are healthy again.
    Your mind is no different.
    Go see a doctor, you WILL feel better afterwards. You just don't know it because your mind is clouded.

    Don't think about it. Just get up, walk to the nearest doctor that you can find, and ask for help. If you really have nothing else to lose, you might as well give it a shot while you can.
  • 3
    That's like flipping a coin or even worse: Russian roulette.
  • 2
    @Hubot-0x58 American student?
  • 3
    @asgs The light, that's the oncoming train.
  • 3
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- That would explain the "no psychological help" too (by the way, you could also drop that last part).
  • 4
    The first step of getting better is realizing there is a problem. Next step is deciding you're too good to take the easy way out. Quit your job and take some time working on yourself if you must, but don't rob yourself of the rest of your life just because it looks so hard to get right. That's the joy of life: finally feeling truly happy after years of hard work and dedication to earn it
  • 2
    @Fast-Nop that is a possibility, yes. But let's keep the hopes alive
  • 2
    And you have been on this mud-ball how long. You probably don't live in Syria or North Korea, so I think you probably have a bright future. Even in those places, there is a glimmer of hope. You've identified some problems. Address the ones you can, and get help for the ones you need help with. You are a survivor, and you'll continue to survive.
  • 1
    go buy some sage man
  • 7
    Life is so hard and we do not need to make it harder for ourselves. Your happiness and safety are so important! When you feel overwhelmed, that’s your body giving you warning signs; listen to them. You are not a robot, you have feelings and thoughts and you need rest. Don’t push yourself too hard.

    Suicide thoughts are tricky, it’s not like you really want to die, you just can’t go on living the life that you have and you don’t see a way out. It can be very hard to see the light when you are too deep in that dark well, even when others extend a rope to save you, there is little energy to make it out.

    I have made the step to be outside more. It has done wonders for my mental health. Nature is a great therapy and having a fresh air can really pull back that anxiety and prevent those thoughts of suicide.
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