7
Crazed
1y

I'm really trying my best to improve but the work I'm doing (both the code and the business theme) is so god damn boring that I feel like I'm torturing myself just trying to keep up. How am I supposed to learn and build myself when everything is so dull and gray? I can't even talk semi-passionately about the work I do, its all just picking up user stories with lengthy business specs on them updating old code or writing up some new code to fit some business / API standard I know nothing about. Occasionally I'll review other code from a developer doing the same thing and sift through trying to find some way to improve a project I don't care about. Hold down the nausea that comes from fighting off the mental fatigue as I struggle to find the words to explain how a component I made works in terms I don't understand too people that know and care much more than I do...

I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out. This isn't me, and every day I wake up and tell myself that my salary makes me happy because it gives me the ability to do the things I enjoy and live on my own and provide for loved ones, and then struggle to swallow the lump in my throat as I drive in the cold to a giant corporate office with a thousand other Me's doing the same shit but better and improving.

I honestly love what my company offers me as compensation, I'll likely not find any better. But once I have some experience under my belt and some debt paid off I have GOT to find a jobs somewhere that doesn't drain the will to live out of me

Comments
  • 2
    I‘ma SAP hybris developer ... so I can fully understand your oain *sigh*.

    That‘s the reason why I started my side project https://core-next.io

    Recreate what I like about hybris and improve the things I hate.
    The idea of having an hour in the evening to spend coding fir it makes me go through the day.

    Also don‘t think there are no other jobs out being at least sinilar in compensation.
    Just try your luck!
  • 1
    @mojo2012 I'll have to look around when I've got more experience, I've not even been out of college that long. I couldn't let myself find another job just to stay a junior lol. Though admittedly I don't really feel I should be a junior... But that's another issue altogether.

    I do have a side project I'm doing with friends and actually enjoy working on it. Much less formal, more leway, more pleasant topic.
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