One of our dev teams has a tradition: after each post-sprint review one of the devs tells a wood joke. The lamer, the better.

So far the winner is:

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car

It's so dumb it's actually somehow even funny :)

What did the father Bison told his son before he left for college?

- Bi Son

What’s a wood joke?

@FastFwd00 Google has all the answers, young fellow.

https://urbandictionary.com/define....

@netikras great you showed him a word which was popular in 2005. Almost no one outside of Lithuania calls them wooden jokes anymore, they are now dad jokes or something like that. You just translated it from LT and thats all

@zemaitis I looked up the term in goole first :) To make sure it's a thing

@netikras still not popular anymore.

@zemaitis should I only be using popular terms...?
IRL I use words and phrases that have been long forgotten, that had been used by our grandparents and grand-grandparents. Some of them even our parents do not remember. Should I stop doing that too, because they are not popular?

/beats-me

How do escape from a meat grinder?

Piece by piece.

@netikras It's your language, use it how you want. If it's something obscure or out of fashion, be prepared to explain, of course, but other people's limited use shouldn't become your problem. As long as you can ensure they understand what you mean when it's important, keep up the right for expanding the language usage, I say!

Also, wooden jokes don't make me board stiff.

I could share these for a long time, but I'll limit myself to one of my favorites for now:

A man fell into an industrial upholstery machine. He's fully recovered now.

Wht says a farmer who's searching his tractor?
-Where's my tractor?

@zemaitis
Mantel, ka tor okvatas pamačėt, paduok abrosėl. Placagubkas buva paškūdėnas ė prisiglaudžio prė robaškas biškel. Nosėmazgot reik.

Yepp, I'm such an unpopular person :) that's not even '05s

Q: There were two cats on a wall. One fell down. What did the other one say?
A: Meow.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
- Great food, no atmosphere!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What's the loudest sound in the world?
The sound of the crickets when you make the best wooden/dad joke.

Why was the psychopath not early?

He was mutilate.

The silence button on remotes is a very nice mute-ility.

Why was the sea mad at the land?

Because it didn't wave back.

What do guards drink mostly?

Securitea.

Why didn't the bus driver take off?

He was busy.

Went to a concert recently.

It was amasing!

Why wasn't the power socket allowed to go out?

It was grounded.

I once saw a Linux machine where you could press keys to get to a new fullscreen terminal only-session.

It was so preTTY!

I once knew a Linux admin who never let other people use his terminals.

He was a very shellfish guy.

@RememberMe ;)

@linuxxx that's what I call dad jokes :)

@netikras nu cia tai pasirodei visame grazume zmogeli su tuo zemaitisku postu. Kritai akyse

@zemaitis o varge, kaip dabar gyvent reiks, kai kritau tavo akyse..

P.S. Čia aukštaitiškai :) senąja šnekta

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

^actual wood joke :-)