I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..

- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"

A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron

One of our politicians at the late-night-show

Q: who wrote La Traviata? Giuseppe or Verdi?
A: ummm.. Ammm.. Well.. *confused af*

Q: so do you know it or not?
A: I know it! I know. I know but I won't tell you. *in all the seriousness*

[true story]

somehow reminds me of IT guys who pretend to know everything just to look cool :)

- build a self-service shell script to manage your environment in all kinds of ways with a single script and different switches

- ask tech manager for a server to keep that script [and others] at so coleagues should not bother setting dependencies up on their windows workstations

- be asked to list out all use cases

- be promissed your consolidated tool will be torn apart and replaced by 8 other tools depending on use-cases. Meaning 8 different browser windows open at all times to manage your single env

- be assured that this kind of improvement will take months and is doubtful to pay off

Mgmt: We will need you to work on Saturday
Me: I'm afraid I can't, I have plans that cannot be rescheduled.

Mgmt: Then please call your coleague out of vacation. Treat this as super urgent.
Me: I do not feel comfortable calling him out as, as you know, he is on leave (family emergencies) and it is a weekend. I do not think it would be ethical to do so either.

Mgmt: *crickets chirping in my mailbox*
Me: *Updating my LinkedIn*

A weird one..

I spend a few hours every day simply walking in the nature. I'd like to use that time for coding. However it's easier to light fire under the sea than write code on a phone :)

then there are tablets. Not powerful enough for compilation nor does it have powerful IDEs, but it could be quite handy to vnc to a decent computer and do the stuff-stuff :) but tapping a screen ain't something pleasant. A physical kbd would be much nicer

So before I purchase a tablet with sim slot - are there any other, more suitable solutions?

You little fuck.......

I ask you how to get my access to some system and I get attacked with how did I dare to report issues to you my colleague was having w/o having my own acc...

This is the first time I have played the victim card in my life. Let's see how that works out.

P.S. it's a massive CORP so I expect some some wasp-nest-poked effect.

Allright, that was srsly cool!
We are doing family trips across Lithuania on weekends. This weekend we have visited a "gravity hill".

So basically here's what you do:
- drive your car down the slope, to the bottom
- stop the car. Leave at neutral
- the car itself starts moving.. UP TO THE HILL!!

I was sceptic, but ffs, it took my car less than 2 minutes to reach 25km/h from a point zero!!

I even tried once more with my engine turned off. The same thing happened :)

IDK, there's something about PCB circuits with all the components on it... For some reason I find them very calming, I think they could even help me with my anger management and/or sleep problems (if I had any).

They are so nice and neat.. so strict and in order. Everything has its own place and its own path. Everything in there has its purpose. That's so nice :)

// triggered by https://twitter.com/iXsystems/...

- halt and catch fire
- silicon valley
- mr robot

are there others, at least half as good as hcf?

Do your better halves know you're doing php? I know I would be too ashamed to tell mine if I did...

Ken Thompson. I like this guy. This guy FUCKS!

Seriously tho, I like his way of thinking

Describe your job without using your job title.

[borrowed from @savagejen at twitter]

Yepp.. The older you get, the faster the time flies by. Remember how long days used to be when you were 10? How much you used to do then? And now? You barely skim through your emails and it's already lunch time.. And soon after that it's already time to go home, go to sleep. And the next day is the same. Round robin, round robin... And when you think that the pooft-you're-gone moment is approaching faster and faster every year, you wonder what are you leaving behind, to remember you by.. A few dev projects that will drown to oblivion a few years after you're out, a few modules in other projects that will live longer but your code lines will soon be overwritten and forgotten in git's history, where noone ever scrolls to. Your own projects you have never released. Your fam who will remember you until their grandchildren - after that older generations are forgotten...

What is it that will keep people saying your name after you're gone? What significant have you given to the life?

There was this tech guy in our project. I don't really know how techy nor what his role was, but I do know he was a techie.

Lately we'd noticed he was behaving more and more managerish. Orchestrating resources over slack, scheduling meetings, the managerial slang... Bulletpoints... It was obvious what's going to happen - he was striving for a manager's chair. Cool. He seemed like a guy who can indeed do this well. And the fact that he's a techie was promising - he should understand so many things.

Boy did that come around and bite us in our asses. Turns out this guy is a googler. If we are working on some case [as we always are] he jumps in and offers his opinion, although he is far from our technical area. We explain how/why it is not a good idea. Then he does some googling and comes back with a different idea! And insists on testing it out... FTR, a single test in our project could take from 1 to 6 hours. And he's a manager now!! We can't just ignore his requests...

Allright, we do that testing. Results are far from satisfying. We continue investigating. He does as well. We'd like to try something out, but there he comes with a new idea! And ofc we are asked to test it out as well.

Our own testing is postponed again.

A few days like this one pass by. In a daily meeting we are blamed for taking that long to do our investigation and we are questioned as engineers.

Superb...

Honestly? I'm having second thoughts about this new role. It's supposed to be fun and challenging and all, but this kind of shit is just too much...

Massive panic attack much?

Does noone RTFM these days?

Happy sysadmin day, protectors of our virtual world!

You know what? DevRant has a homepage!!!!

I always wanted to have an array where I could store an object at index 694307084175882649501.

And now I can!!!

WE: javaagent-based monitoring, as seen in this screenshot <attached>, is reporting full old-gen, full young-gen, full one of the survivors and a sky-rocketing full GC right before the service outage.

WE: container monitoring in this screenshot <attached> shows that the application peaked its memory very suddenly to MAX values and platoed on that. Then container monitoring is blank, suggesting a complete outage of a few minutes. After that monitoring starts again with memory usage reported at low levels and immediatelly spiking back to MAX again, suggesting the container crashed and had been respawned by an orchestrator. This repeats a few times throughout the day.

they: I did not find any evidence of application running out of memory. Maybe our monitoring is not working correctly?

we: *considering updating our resumes*

Posted a question on SO a few minutes ago. It seems like they are downvoting questions before reading them. If after reading the question it appears legit and written according to all the rules - they return the upvote.

Wtf dude...

I think they are afraid of me :)

Last time I pushed them harder than anyone ever did since their tools I have to rely on precisely were unstable. Now each time I ping their channel in Slack I get immediate ack responses from their manager and architects .

Nice :)

What a rewarding weekend!

Not once did I touch my laptop :)

Sorry, that was meant for RANDOM.. My bad

Good night world!

It worked! After all those years I've talked someone into linux'ising all theit workstations :) now that someone is eventually convinced it would solve most of the problems. Now they are collecting all the bau requirements. Next - testing phase. And then, if all works out well - reinstalling 100+ workstations with linux :)

yayyy

MITM on all HTTPS traffic in Kazakhstan

https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_b...

Sweet Lord Jesus... Now there is a precedent

And now they are threatening us... Brilliant!

- they refuse to sign a legal agreement with us [for our services]
- they only gave us a verbal promise they will pay for our services
- they revoke lots of our accesses
- another company is taking over their product we were hired to look after before. Now they demand us do things for them for free
- a few integrations are malfunctioning with premature EOF [while reading a response]. I had escalated this with the most throughout case analysis I have done in my entire life. Three times over the last 2 years. Explaining every single detail that needs to be done, how, by whom and how to interpret the results. Escalations went to their high level mgmt. And directly had been rerouted to /dev/null...
- now they asked us to fix this whole shit. For free ofc, they have no money to pay us..
- they begged
- when that didn't work - they started threatening to route all their customers' complaints to us and flood us with them

at first I was proud to work on their project. I didn't want to leave it when my manager asked me to. A national level project, making a difference for my own country. But now.....

that's gov, my friends. That's politics and power games.

So there is a ransomware that after infecting a device checks its geolocation. If the device is in Russia it does not encrypt anything and is harmless.

I wonder which country is this malware from...

What do you consider the best method for long-term cold data storage? And why?

I was looking at some magnetic tapes, but the degradation of magnetic charge is worrying me. Lose a single bit and you're fucked.

Dvds - not sure, some of my old ones are no longer readable. Not sure why tho, they had been enclosed in a dark, room-temp place all the time

hdds -- still magnetic.

Ssds? Idk

...?

-XX:+pleaseWorkFaster
-XX:+sudo_pleaseWorkFaster

Baaa-byyy shark
pam pam padam-pam-pam
pam pam padam-pam-pam
pam pam padam-pam-pam
padam-pam-pam