I was laid off. The reason? Well, they didn't really want to say but they were clear it wasn't due to performance. (Thankfully, I got severence pay.) From my perspective it really came out of nowhere, no warnings or even hints that this was coming, which has me spinning. 😵 If I'm doing well at my job and the company is doing well, how in the seven hells could I get laid off??

What they said was partly the reason didn't seem true, or not the whole truth. They essentially stated that "they talked with everyone I worked with" (probably not true based on their decision, but who knows) and came to the conclusion I wasn't suitable to work on large teams, and that's the direction they are moving in. As if it wasn't something that could be improved on 🤔

I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best communicator face-to-face, mainly due to my social anxiety but also because I have too many thoughts. It can be difficult to condense them down for other people in the heat of the moment. (I'm an INTP, if that helps you to understand what I mean.) However, I know I'm a pretty good communicator overall since I listen and pay special attention to phrasing and word choice. So most people I worked with there seemed quite satisfied with communication with me. There were only 2-3 out of more than 12 who I had any difficulty working with.

So why did I have trouble properly working with a couple people? I hesitate to say this but, like other jobs I've had, well... they didn't have either the experience or knowledge to understand me. Basically, they were stupid. I was pretty frustrated working with such inadequately prepared people on a complex project with ludicrously short deadlines, and had no desire to work overtime so I could educate or guide them.

To give perspective, one React developer didn't understand how object properties work with JavaScript. 🤦‍♀️ (They are references, by the way. And yes you can have an object reference inside another object!) Another React developer thought it was okay to have side effects during the render lifestyle because they didn't affect the component itself, even if it was a state change in a parent component. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

So what is the real reason I lost my job, if not performance? Could be I pissed off the stupid (and loud) ones which hurt my reputation. My main theory, however, is that I was raising the cost of the company's healthcare. I had a diseased organ so I did miss some work or worked from home more than I should have, and used my very good health insurance to the fullest extent I could. Of course, if they say that's the reason then they can get sued.

Huge bummer, whatever the case. I definitely learned some lessons from this situation that others in a similar position could find useful. I can write that up if anyone expresses interest.

Honestly though, this is a good thing in the end, because I was already planning to leave in a month or 2 once I found a better job. I was waiting for the right time for the project I was on and for my own financial stability. So I'm trying hard not to let this affect my self-esteem and think of it as an opportunity to get my dream job, which is working with a remote-first company that is focused on improving the human condition.

Being unemployed isn't ideal, but at least I didn't have to quit! And I get to have a bit of a vacation of a sort.

  • 2
    You know you could voice your concern with them about the lack of clarity as to why they let you go. It could very well be that you were costing them a lot because of your healthcare usage. Even though you want to switch jobs you shouldn't just use that as an excuse. Unless you were flat out unpleasant to communicate with from the point of view of those few people, their reason isn't good enough imo.
  • 2
    I'm in a similar position. Small startup, transitioning to a bigger team. I can definatly releate.
  • 5
    @heyheni To be fair, the guy was talking about a traumatic event that happened to him And he was doing it on a website that encourages rants (like, "rant" is even in the url). It's not the least surprising that the word "I" is used a lot.

    If this is supposed to be a place where people can rant, don't get on their case for ranting.
  • 2
    I like the way you address a problem. You seem like a pretty balanced person and for that reasons i am not worried at the good things that will come to you ;)

    A bit wishy washy but thats the feeling i have :)
  • 1
    @beegC0de Agreed, their reason wasn't good enough. I pressed for a more concrete reason or more details, but my boss just kept saying "it's not worth getting into" or whatever BS excuse. Now I wish I had asked better questions (although, I wasn't prepared at all for that), or at least followed up and talked with the HR person alone. Not knowing for sure if it was because of my medical issues or not is still driving me crazy.
  • 0
    Good news! I've been employed for a few months at a remote-first company that really cares about their people. It's a very tight-knit group but they haven't made me feel like a stranger. The team I'm on for my assigned project is super great to work with, too. I'm pretty much living the dev life I've always worked hard to get and I'm pretty happy.
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