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Jilano27058109dDear Holodreamer (2020 version)
You cannot believe how shitty 2021 is. You know how every year we're like: "That won't last. No worries, good years are ahead!" Well... We might have been wrong on that, mate.
I have to stop the transmission now, else I'll be found. Enjoy it while last...!
rutee0710904109dDear Holodreamer 2020,
I asked you to pass the lube last 2018 and I haven't received it yet. I have now discovered a new source of energy and I'm afraid that the CIA is on to me. I was rubbing one out and the friction generated some sort of electricity, the lights in the asylum went out, and I think.. I think I saw Jesus or is it a genie? He asked for a wish and I wished for lubes. He asked if I'm sure I don't want a cure for the virus instead. I said no, I kinda need the lube.
See, this is all your fault. If you had just passed the lube, none of this would have happened. Elon has been texting me non-stop. He wanted me to test out his Wank Truck 3000 and see how fast I can go with it. I'm so tired of all this attention. I just want to fap one out in peace.
With slippery hands,