15

So this happened. Small surprise at the end.

Today after inspecting the stock, my spouse and I suspected that my MIL's partner has been helping himself to our gin. Since starting isolation at our Summer home almost 3 weeks ago, we've had 2 glasses each but almost 2/3rds of our 1L bottle is gone. Neither of us noticed because the bottle has been at the back of the fridge but today I spotted how empty it was. We're supposed to be the only 2 people (out of 4) who drink spirits and my MIL doesn't drink at all.

My MIL's partner on the other hand is a 77 year old alcoholic curmudgeon bastard. I honestly haven't met a more detestable man his age and if it wasn't for the fact that he spends 90% of the day in the garage with the lathe, we'd probably have had a row or two. This guy is capable of everything from undressing in the fucking kitchen in the company of others to putting his socks on the dinner table. God knows what the actual fuck my MIL is thinking but seeing as she's 69 this year it's a bit late to cut and run.

Anyway so this fucker has been stealing my gin and this ain't any old gin but a premium, imported brand that takes 4 weeks to get delivered. I got a bottle in preparation for this whole isolation fiasco and this cunt has made away with about half of it all on his own.

So I poured the remainder into another bottle and I replaced the missing amount of gin with E10 Unleaded petrol. Yeah that's right petrol, the kind that goes in cars.

I actually forgot about it because nothing happened for about 2 days. But this morning we woke up to him choking in the kitchen with the bottle on the table. Had to hide the grin on my face at a seconds notice. Didn't even exchange a single word, he just went into the shower to rinse his mouth out and brush his teeth hahahahahaha. Want to know the best part? I bought the cunt A FIFTY PACK of double strength beers before we arrived for quarantine, as a surprise present. A fucking 50 pack! Obviously to sweeten the fact that while we'd rather be elsewhere, at least we've manners and plan to get along. He drank em all in under 2 weeks. The spirits were mine. He knew this and he's agreed with my MIL to only drink beer anyway. He didn't touch any of the wine that's been had and none of the champagne in storage. Nope, just helped himself to my imported spirits. Would have been happy to give him a glass or two if he'd asked me in confidence, but stealing? Fuck right off.

Anyway fucker woke us all up with his choking and no less starting off the day with a swig of pythoninrelay's precious hooch huh? Certainly not the breakfast of champions. Was prepared for a shitstorm but he didn't have the balls to say anything, least of all even dob me in to his MIL.

Asshole. We're leaving on Friday and you couldn't be a decent human being for 2 whole fucking weeks. You're lucky it wasn't ricin. Prick.

Edit: Really I'm so fucking done with this virus. At this point I'd rather get it, get sick, get over it and get on with my life but coming this far and still being 100% healthy. I'm trying not to spit in the face of those who've got ill or worse. In any case we're off to our own place again and I can't wait to have my space back. Another bottle coming in the mail but who knows when I'll get it...

Comments
  • 2
    Same. I just want to catch it and get it over with but your MIL's partner seem to be at the right age to catch it and never recover. Given that he's a stealing piece of shit, well, you know.. :)
  • 3
    I never understood people like you tbh. A drink is a drink. I tried $1500 whiskeys and $3 whiskeys and the difference was negligible. Id rather buy more and get wasted with my friends than buy 1 bottle of whatever and drink it sip by sip in a year.

    I mean fuck that dude, im just high and your story got me thinking.
  • 0
    @yellow-dog I don't know about your taste buds, but I can easily tell the difference between a 15$ bottle and a 100$ bottle.

    I'm more of a rum guy, but whiskey is the same, massive difference between price classes.

    Don't know if it carries into the 1000$ range, but there's definitely difference in the "lower" ends
  • 0
    @yellow-dog it has nothing to do with the price or rarity of the brand in this case. I said I'd have given the guy a glass or two if he asked. It's about him being a thieving, alcoholic piece of shit and thinking that he's untouchable and can get away with it. It's literally about him giving me the middle finger after I bought him 50 fucking beers to show him that I was thinking of him and that I could be both polite and grateful that he wouldn't make a fuss about us staying here in isolation for 2 weeks.

    Stealing from me is akin to pissing on all of that. So I proverbially pissed on him back by filling the bottle with not piss, but petrol.

    I'm surprised you thought it was mostly about the type/quality and not about the total lack of respect and fairness to his fellow man. It's crazy I'd need to spell this out to anyone.

    P.S. I'm sorry your taste buds don't work but there's is absolutely a difference between a proper vintage and some off-the-shelf shit brewed in a machine somewhere.
  • 1
    In my family, we implicitly share every bottle except for really rare stuff and gifts. Although this would probably qualify as really rare stuff. Anyway my point is, he might just not care about quality and have different customs.
  • 1
    @pythonInRelay no, i absolutely agree, hes an ass.
  • 0
    I'll drink to that!
Add Comment