Q: Give me a horror story from you speciality in 5 words or less

A: It worked on my machine.

  • 5
    Coworker: The client is dropping by.
    Boss: Sales caught covid. You're up!
    Coworker: All three datacenters burned down.
    Boss: You're demoing today. Go.
    Boss: I promised the client Tuesday!
    CEO: Payroll's late; we donated it.
    HR: Everyone here supports the riots! 😠
    CEO: Unlimited PTO for rioters.
    Bossmang: Mandatory weekend MDF rewiring party!
    Client: It's just a small change.
    Client: Yeah, I'm not paying you.
    Calendar: <Bring your children/pets/airhorns to work day>
    Intern: Bossmang! @Root's code sucks.
    Intern: Cool! I can push!
    Intern: Why is the everything down?
    Boss: 10 minute HR meeting today.
    HR Karen: So I reviewed our CoC...
    Boss: I sold your desk.
    Chad: Hi, I'm your replacement.
    Boss: Yeah, I'm not paying you.
    Accounting: Apparently you owe US money! 😂
  • 0
    ORA-01000, current limit is 1200
  • 1
    java: NullPointerException
  • 6
    Query OK, 345078954 rows(s) affected
  • 2
    @bittersweet Probably my worst nightmare. Imagining the brain starts shutting off different centers while the ear hears the support phones humming in the background and the approaching sound of cheap mid-level manager shoes on the wood floor.
  • 1
    @kaae Luckily, there's a few ways to mitigate: periodical backups, database transactions, and running queries through peer-reviewed migration scripts instead of through a direct connection so you never put the blame on one person's shoulders.
  • 1
    We don't have code reviews.
    We do qa ourselves.
    We do manual deployments.
    We don't use source control.
    Stack overflow is down.
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