13
lolcube
16d

FUCK Banks

Fuck Banks and fuck online Banking

Fuck you for not supporting real 2FA
Fuck you for having such shitty bloated bullshit Websites and online services
Fuck you for taking forever to transfer money
Fuck you for not having public APIs Fuck you for so many uncountable reasons.

And most of all Fuck you for constantly trying to fuck me. I FUCKING HATE BANKS SO FUCKING MUCH.

I hope so much that there'll be a decentralised uncontrollable anonymous and digital currency in the future. Something like Cryptos (like BTC or ETH) but without all the major Problems they have now.

I wish there was a hell Banks could go to. I want to see them burn and suffer so fucking much not even the worst medieval torture methods are enough to satisfy me.

Comments
  • 8
    πŸ˜… my bank is awesome. They suggest you use 2FA for all accounts on the internet where possible.... then don't offer it them selves 🀷‍♂️
  • 3
    @C0D4 what 2FA? A bullshit app? SMS Tan? Because news flash: that's not fucking 2FA because if you have it on one fucking device there is no second Factor.

    Edit: oh shit didn't read your comment correctly. Sorry ^^°
  • 1
    huh, im glad i found a bank that does all those things, including the api
  • 2
    @lolcube I'd take an sms over nothing.
  • 0
    @dakkarant tell me now :D what bank?
  • 1
    @C0D4 better than their BS Apps
  • 2
    @lolcube Bunq, but unless you are from a few countries in europe im not sure if you can use it sadly
  • 0
    @dakkarant what kind of 2FA do they support? Because anything that's not a Hardware Security Token like Yubikey is BS
  • 1
    @lolcube I think they are looking into supporting fido2 at some point yeah
  • 0
    @dakkarant guess I'll change my bank today
  • 1
    I have no problems with my bank.
    Yes website is shitty, but working. 2FA is using standard authenticator.
    I’m good.
  • 0
  • 1
    @lolcube Just yes.

    Go get a job and go understand how banking works.

    My bank is my friend. yearlly they give me more money than I spend on thier services.
  • 1
    @NoToJavaScript wtf. I understand how it works. Doesn't change the fact that their services are fucking shit.
  • 3
    Fight club? Fight club.
  • 1
    @SortOfTested πŸ˜”what's the first rule of fight club?
  • 4
    Oh. I've never heard of FUCK Banks. But from your rant, I can tell they're shit.
  • 2
    @C0D4
    What are you talking about? πŸ™„
  • 1
    @SortOfTested You haven't watch fight club?
  • 2
    @C0D4
    I seriously have no idea what thing we're not supposed to be talking about that we're talking about. You're almost as confusing as Ed Norton 😡
  • 1
    Fuck Crypto. Bunch of Scammers waiting to take your money!
  • 1
    @-red idk man, fuck bank sounds like the name of a brothel, and those are nice.
  • 1
    @SortOfTested can't tell if you got em back or seriously don't know.
  • 1
  • 1
    @NoToJavaScript My bank also gives me more money than I pay them (in fees - 0), but I can't say those 0.01% interest are making me rich.
  • 0
    @saucyatom looking forward to that sweet $50 extra at the end of the year right? -_-
    I honestly wanted to switch banks when I learned about this stuff
  • 1
    American banking customer? I think the US is a bit behind the rest of the world in terms of financial tech.

    Most Dutch banks do not just offer 2FA, they require it. Most of them transfer money instantly to each other. Most of them have good web interfaces, and if I check the Play Store, all Dutch banking apps have a 4.0+ rating.

    My main bank is ASN, a treehugger green bank which I chose because they allow no overdrafts and have just a flat €1/m fee for the account. Their website & app is clean, fast and always works.

    I also use Revolut for travel, because of the free UK IBAN, free physical Mastercard debit card with easy currency conversion and very low international payment fees. They also offer crypto/stock/gold trading and various travel insurances in the app.

    Bunq is also quite good, although in my opinion both Revolut & Bunq are quite expensive if you go for the premium features.

    https://www.openbankingtracker.com/
  • 0
    @unclesam if you don't know what you're doing maybe
  • 0
    I don't think that there is a single serious company in Sweden that doesn't use the national standard BankID. It's basically 2FA connected to your social security number.
  • 0
    @saucyatom 1.5% for me. Not a lot, but good for an account where you can move money anytime you want
  • 1
    You want a fucking public api for banks? Holy fucking shit mate. Security does it ring any bells to u?
  • 0
    @NoToJavaScript So you're not from Europe, I see. Here I'd only get 1.5% on a 5 year fixed term plan.
  • 0
  • 0
    @zemaitis you do realise that APIs can be built securely?
  • 0
    @lolcube What are you a first year graduate junior dev? MAKING A BANK API OPEN? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Whats next do you want to make military api open as well? U want an endpoint for nuclear launch codes? Or a public api for all your personal data? There is no way to build that kind of api and make it 100 percent secure.
  • 0
    @lolcube I know Hidden advertising counts to that.
  • 0
    @zemaitis Banks in EU are required by law to provide open banking API
  • 0
    @PAKA to public?
  • 0
    @zemaitis as far as I'm aware endpoints are available to "public" but you need to be registered organization to request certificate and use it to authenticate your request
  • 0
    @zemaitis as if the fucking rest of their systems are any god damn better. Are you the one who's insane here?
  • 0
    @zemaitis And banks aren't a fucking god like special case. There are thousands of Organisations that are just as critical and do offer public APIs do you really think that this is a legitimate argument? You know what? Let's kill online banking - too much of a risk. And ATMs, most of them run windows fucking XP. If they can build a system that is secure enough for their internal use they can build a public one that is correctly implemented and secure enough. You know what? Them using insecure systems since god knows when that are written in fucking cobol isn't the problem. You're right a public API with sane authentication ( e.g. with a hardware security token) and good separation that's what'll make them vulnerable. A fucking day later everyone dies. L
  • 0
    @lolcube Suppose you started a bank in 2004 and spent 1 million to develop ATM software on XP. Would you go ahead and upgrade it by spending another 1 million for Win Fucking 10?

    Microsoft still provide paid security updates for XP.

    The reason why US banks couldn't provide an API is because of tight regulation and compliance. It's not really bank problem.

    You're always free to scrap your bank balances freely via headless browser if you wish.
  • 0
    @unclesam what's a million for a bank?
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