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ArtOfBBQ287152dI can't really tell what the root cause is from your post
If I had to guess it sounds like maybe you care more about what other people think about you than actually getting what you want. If so that attitude is total poison man and you need to find a way to get rid of it ASAP
e.g. if you get a job interview at a company you like, it's a freeroll - you risk almost nothing by trying and can gain a job you like if it works, a sweet deal
However, many people actually dread this freeroll because it may be awkward when you both realize they're not hiring you 10 mins in. Is that you? The solution for this is to shame yourself publicly until you have no shame left
It could also be that you tell yourself you want a job as a programmer but you really don't. Maybe other people want you to be a programmer and you're trying to make them happy. This attitude is also poison :D If this is you, you may find interviews to be a breeze because you don't really care
Bubbles6870152d@ArtOfBBQ I really do want to be a dev professionally, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do I just don’t know what kind of dev job I’d be happy with, I’ve been prepping for a backend position because I enjoy backend but I also really love automation and I know that automation jobs are out there but I’m not as great with that so I don’t want to go for that if that makes sense
rutee0719603151dIs this because of Flask, Bubbles?
Seriously, just think about all the things you know now that you didn't know before. All the things you can do with your eyes closed that used to looked so impossible before. Your colleagues believe in you for a reason. Maybe take a break then try again.
Sugar, spice, and everything nice.
Bubbles6870151d@rutee07 well flask is just the recent killer of my sanity this is just everything that’s bottled up, but my only problem with it is just that I don’t know it well yet and I just really don’t know where to ask for help because SO doesn’t appreciate my existence and I don’t want to bug anyone directly with my problems (no pun intended)
But I am good at taking breaks but when I take breaks I always feel like I should be doing more since I don’t do it as often as I believe I should.