I have a crush on my single, young manager. He sent me request on facebook recently, although he has befriended almost everyone in the office, I just can't stop thinking about him.
Please help me, give me good reasons that it's a stupid crush, I literally can't stop thinking about him.

Mary, is that you? We can talk about this in my office.

@Demolishun 😂 nice try.

@true-dev001 I went to the US census and searched for top name from the census. So I tried to stack the deck a bit.

Bad decision mate - as often said, don't shit where you sleep (or date where you work in this case.)

Just makes everything awkward if it doesn't work out, and even if it does work out you'd have to register conflicts of interest in any kind of hiring or payrise situation.

Besides, befriending someone on Facebook certainly doesn't mean you have a crush on them :-)

@AlmondSauce Crush was before the Facebook request, now it is becoming impossible to not to think about him.
I really cannot talk anything personal too him as I am nervous, so every talk is work related.
I want to control this feeling.

Find out a skeleton is his closet. Then think of that instead. Does he have any messed up habits? Does he pick his nose and eat it?

Most easy solution: Try to date him.
If it works out, that obviously is a win.
But if it doesn't, you just leave the company and go somewhere else.
In both cases the uncertainty is gone and you hopefully aren't locked into an amotional state anymore.

Would that be something that HR is against? in my institution it would. But it depends on where you are.

Personally, this is a big no no, I wouldn't fuck with my paycheck or the awkwardness of a bad breakup, the chances are too high and the risk ain't worth it.

If you wanna date then i suggest doing it somewhere else :/

It's an IT Manager. You're a Dev. You'll learn to hate him. Trust me on that.

Basically you don't shit where you eat, or rather you don't fuck where you eat. I've had two dev co-workers that hooked up, it was all fun and games until they broke up a couple of months later and it kinda made a mess, we were supposed to go into teambuilding right around that period, one of them didn't want to come anymore and there were kinda awkward situation in the office cause everyone knew about it but nobody talked about it. So yeah, it's not the most pleasant thing tbh. And I think it gets even worse if one of the party involved is part of management.

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."
-- Oscar Wilde

"You don't shit where you eat" - how do people compare a possible romantic affair / love life to "shitting*" is so irrational. My two cents is OP should do what she want, be outcome independent. Life is short and hard already don't make it more difficult in following some dumb rule.

Don't fuck with the payrolls ! ..

@donozone Sounds like Oscar had some serious issues. Knowing what I know now his "wisdom" may be the inspiration for a great number of evils.

Make heart transplantation 👍

@Meetife This actually a helpful reply. It helps when people understand instead of giving me harsh replies. Although I understand the intent but it squeezes out the less benefit.

@Pogromist 😂😂

While not exactly the same scenario, I’ve done the whole date at the office thing, and while it did not end well for me, who’s to say the same would happen for you? The one thing I would say is make sure you understand the risks. I thought I did, but when I tried to break the relationship off because things weren’t going well, it got ugly real fast and I was in legitimate danger of losing my job. Live your life and do what you feel is right, just understand that this could end with an impact to your employment situation. In the long run it was all fine - just stressful when I was going through it.

Had a one night fling with my neighbor , we ain't even close anymore but I can't even bring girls anymore , she's at my door borrowing some stupid shit each time I got a girl over. Awkward wouldn't recommend it