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mr-user
4y

In my company there is a weekly employee benefit that each employee can get. The advantage is not carry over to next week if you don't take it the current week.

There is a junior in my department who is not taking a weekly benefit. I am sure he know about the weekly benefit because I have explain it to him before.

I said to him if he is not taking his portion of weekly benefit , can I take his instead? I explicitly said it to him that he can said "No" if he wanted and he don't need to consider the junior-senior relationship since I was mentoring him.

He said "I can take his portion if I want".

I know I got his permission but he is a quiet and reserved person (nothing wrong with it) , I am a reserved person myself.

I have to initiate a conversation and give him a chance to speak up like "What do you think about ... ? " , "X,do you think it is a good idea to ..." ,

My question is that does my junior give his permission to take him weekly benefit because he is a reserved person and doesn't like to tell "No".

What do you guy think?

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  • 6
    4y
    Given that there is a hierarchy between you, you should not take this offer from him.
  • 1
    4y
    @Fast-Nop

    Well, could you explain to me why I shouldn't take his offer even though he give me his permission? (He is not getting extra benefit since I doesn't take current week)

    I just been to a position where I can mentor other so I need more explanation.

    I try to be a friendly senior (I am only senior but we can be friend.)

    I set aside time for him after lunch and before a work day end so he can discuss whatever he wanted to me. Even if I am busy we can come to my desk whenever he wanted if he have problem.

    If I am not swamp with work , I talk to him about my failures and thought process on projects so he can learn from it. To make him feel that failure are ok and it is ok to fail. I just wanted to focus on him thought process so I can mentor him not the fact that he have fail.

    I even explain it to him even though I can do the work with "A" and "B" technology , I use "A" because of reasons.
  • 2
    4y
    @mr-user Because having a hierarchy always puts you on unequal footing, no matter how friendly you are. It may also impact your team negatively because other team members may feel pressure to also yield, similarly to over-hours. If your superiors find out, you may also get flak from them.
  • 0
    4y
    @Fast-Nop

    Well it's unfortunate that there is always a barrier between hierarchy. My idea of hierarchy is who take the blame for it.

    A person higher up in the hierarchy should take the blame for the actions of person lower rank in the hierarchy.
  • 0
    4y
    @mr-user Yeah but that's only one side of it. Sometimes, you also have to excert authority. That's why you can take the blame - otherwise, that post would be called doormat, not boss.
  • 1
    4y
    @mr-user logically, you should take the benefit. However, people’s opinions of you are not always based on logic. You see yourself as trying to make the most of what the company offers, others see you as greedy. Unfortunate reality.
  • 3
    4y
    Encourage them to take the benefit. Sometimes juniors think it shows dedication if they don’t take things that are offered.
  • 0
    4y
    What is the benefit?
  • 2
    4y
    @mundo03

    Some background first. My country is a "cash economy" and there have been a storage of "cash" (paper money) for a while.

    The company allows an employee to withdraw a certain amount of "cash" (paper money) every week.

    I asked him whether I can withdraw his portion of "cash" if he is not withdrawing it and transfer the money back to his bank account digitally. Basically he will not lose any money digitally just that he will not have paper money.
  • 1
    4y
    @mr-user ahh that is fair.
    Totally a personal choice, I say go for it but ask every time.
  • 2
    4y
    @mundo03

    The problem is that I cannot tell apart whether he really give permission by his own choice or he only give permission because I am his senior?
  • 0
    4y
    @mr-user I think it doesn't matter, just ask everytime like 'Hey I need cash again, can we di the thing ?I'll transfer you as always. Or do you need cash yourself? It is no problem if you do"

    Something like that.
    As long as you don't get in trouble with the company, the deal can be called off whenever the dude decided to speak up.
  • 0
    4y
    @mr-user Why don’t you ask, “Is this something that makes you uncomfortable? Do you only agree to this because I am senior?” It seems like the obvious way to get clarity. Why aren’t you asking?
  • 1
    3y
    @irene

    I did but I cannot get a read on him based on his tone and facial expression.
  • 0
    3y
    @mr-user But he said something to confirm that “no it isn’t because you are my senior”. Or what did he say?

    Because “reading” a person is very different from explicit verbal consent. If he gave consent then he gave consent. If he didn’t he didn’t.
  • 0
    3y
    @irene

    He said "It's ok" (something to that effect). Yes, he said it verbally.

    The problem is whether he is in a state to give a consent. As we all know consent given when a person is drunk is not counted.
  • 0
    3y
    @mr-user Oh drunk eh? Yeah contractually probably more complicated. Ask when sober.

    Do you remember when you said this? Does the offer still stand?
  • 0
    3y
    @irene

    The offer still stand. Just to be clear neither me or him is drunk when I give him an offer. Who would get drunk at office (I hope no one is drunk at office)
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