AboutKind of the CTO...
Skillsnode.js, ractive.js, cordova, humans
Joined devRant on 4/22/2016
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Greaaaaaat, Apple introduced a performance bug in iOS 12.1.2 that affects my app on iPhone X and higher. It just makes me work5
While I don’t have pain typing normally, once key combo gets me. Control + Shift + R. Probably a repetitive motion injury at this point .2
FFS Xcode can’t talk to an iPhone and and Android studio can’t pick an Android SDK. The help page doesn’t even mention “Android SDK”
Race to the bottom to be the shittiest SDK I’m telling ya!
OS can’t install the network driver because the installer can’t see the network card, the installer can’t see the network cars because the driver isn’t installed.2
Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...
Co worker: no balls
No fucking excuses! You should know how to reconfigure your programming work environment from scratch!2
Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.
Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!10
Ugggg FUCK YOU if you are one of these people who says “My goal is simple” and then you proceed to ramble on about some elaborate and poorly defined goal! Just go figure it out! FFS.4
Never lose your sense of wonder when it comes to working with clients. Client berated us saying her data were outdated. Ok. Check the file the third party that generated the data is sending us.
Outline all stated discrepancies in the data back to the client, showing that everything lines up with what we are receiving.
Client is frustrated. Contact the third party in their behalf.
Third party support: “oh yea, client had us start sending data to your competitor like a month ago”
Bruh. Bruh. Bruh.
Fortunately the client wants to stay with us and is getting their data pointed back but how in the hell do you forget that. The reason the client when looking at competition (at least guessing looking at previous call records) is to get faster processing of the data coming from the third party. How are you gonna forget you turned off the sending when you are so worried about speed?! Most of our clients are running 7-8 figure businesses by the way.2
You wouldn’t think that finding a home that actually had internet service would be the hardest part of house shopping in 2018...
Satellite internet does not count as internet. Also my statements apply to the US market only. Idk how bad this is in other countries.6
I would be fine with not having this meeting if it hand been on the books for 2 weeks. But I didn't want to have it and now I'm the only one here.3
I'm at work coding at 21:00 on a Friday cause money, no life ya know, but then it hit me. I could be at home on coding on a Friday night and still I would have no money and no life but o would have ALCOHOL! Ballmer peak here I come!
Ps I haven't drank in 6 days and I don't drink to excess (often). I just find it enjoyable2
I'm stuck using an iPhone 5c until the end of the week. It's soooooo tiny. How did we ever type on these! Interesting carrying around a blast from the past 😂6
No fuck you you are not going to post your shitty generic products with 20mb photos that we host! Fuck off. No it's not "blurry" you fuck wit it's a normal picture in this industry .3
This is probably my last post for a while! I’m leaving for my honeymoon and we are going on a cruise and I ain’t gettin the WiFi! Hell naw!! Not taking any laptop, not answering phone!! Feels sooooo gooooood!! Especially after this shit week. I’ll be away from it all for 9 days!!!!!!!
We are going a day early so I might lurk a bit here and there but not much. 86 everything and everyone’s bs! Just me and my beautiful wife!7
OK Mr CEO/President whatever self aggrandizing title you want to call yourself today, where the fuck is your spine! You want to have support help boost your sales but don't tell sales that you are letting support handle some sales and sales is mad. Now you are quivering under the thumb of the Lead of Sales. What the hell. You are the leader of this company.
Why did you not stand up for your decision to begin with? I'm not going to get into whether or not it was good, but if you are going to make a decision to experiment with new things fucking stand by it and let everyone in the company know.
You've exacerbated the division between departments and ton this company further apart. If you don't start standing up for things, you are going to destroy all that you've helped build! Furthermore, I will not simply be your loyal vassal and watch all the people doing support for my products get fucked over. I will leave you high and dry if needed. I really hope you don't make it needed. You gave me a great shot to be honest, I'd hate to have to turn my back on you in anger. But don't think for a second I won't do it.
Your entire programming department has also been put in the cross fire of a fight you just made so much worse. You are the only one who can clean this up. Are you going to stand up for us? Are you gonna stand up for your self? Or will you just break and show us where the real power lies? We will find out soon.2
Yea it’s totally cool. Dropping a conference call on me 30 minutes before it happens. And then you (and everyone else in the call) should be late too. And then do this stuff all the damn time and ask me why I have to push the deadline back. But get super pissy when I give you a realistic deadline that factors these bullshit experiences in!
Then after I wait 10 minutes on the line, tell me it’s been moved to the bottom of the hour which doesn’t really leave me enough time to do anything but play on DevRant. Fucking insanity.1
I’ve got to build an app in 3 weeks that handles basic image editing and async requests. It’s gotta support both iOS and Android.
It’s also gotta scan barcodes.
What should I use?
Try and cram it through in native java/Kotlin and swift?
Something I’m missing?7
Fellow iPhone users and broke bitches too cheap to get the battery replaced or buy a new phone, I have noticed that I get a lot smoother performance and a more gradual if steeper battery life with apples bullshit process slowing turned off. Now anything below 20% is a flip of a coin if the phone will turn off, but with it on it chews the top end of the battery much faster and seems to die more when idle.
PS don’t use fast chargers.5
Support elevates a ticket.
Ticket: customer is getting a weird error uploading photo.
Can’t recreate. Tell support to call them back. I’ll sit in on the call.
Watch the process. Noting extraordinary...
Me: can you get the customer to open the pic in photo viewer?
Support asks as much.
Support: uh, he says he gets a similar error opening this photo in the photo viewer.
Me: 🤦♂️ that is a corrupt file!
If your customer service is so bad that people talk about trying to use the occult to get in touch with you, your company is shit.
Dev related cause I only want to talk to the customer service because the api docs are that fucking bad.
OSX multi windows management is so fucking dumb and confusing! FFS have some kind of indicator when a program has multiple windows open.5
I’m convinced that Xcode and android studio are locked in an epic race to the bottom to claim the title of shittiest IDE.7
PSA: start writing a cover letter, a resume, a references list and a CV now! Doesn’t matter if you are perfectly happy in your job! By the time something comes up it will be too late or something will prevent you from making it as good as it could be! These things take forever to write well!
This is has been especially tough for me as all my previous jobs have been the type that they were surprised to see I had a resume. Compiling years of professional experience into a decent looking document was a whole other rodeo. And now jobs are looking for CV’s which is a whole other other rodeo.3
My boss just said “as long as it puts a smile on the clients face, it’s worth examining, within reason.” Yeaaa that’s a bit broad... Some of our clients only smile when they have hookers and blow on hand. Is it reasonable to help them acquire such if it helps retain them as a customer?!3
The more I look back on it, the more I really see that this job has really thrown me to the wolves time and time again, only to laugh as I come back beaten and bruised.
They’ve given me objectives that were deceptively broad, no guidance, and then misguidance when I came back with a well researched opinion. They wanted me to estimate large projects without having worked on a large project. Plus, college leaves out the huge part of software work: deployment. I had to figure all that out on my own too.
The more I look back on it the more I see this place has been a complete shit show from the beginning. It was just the first job I didn’t have to do manual labor at so I valued it highly.
It’s time to move on to somewhere I’m not the constant scapegoat.
Anybody else have this weird bug where your boss asks for advice, does the opposite of the advice you give, then blames you for the poor outcomes?
Fucking Ballmer peak and blowing by it 9 times out of 10. But that every once in a while when you hit it. Oh it’s real. So real. Focus and problem solving rolled into one.