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At a friend's New Year's Eve party 2 years ago...
"So you're a programmer? Do you know how to hack someone's e-mail, or maybe just a Facebook page? I have a friend who removed me as an admin from one of my pages and won't give it back..."
Same kid later that night, upon learning one of the other guests is the head of IT for a local company:
"Hey, I'm going to be finishing my CISCO and A+ certs here in a few months, will that be of any help? I can even get you drugs if you like!"
*weird look from friend*
"Or no drugs! None at all!"
...How about you just stop talking about illegal activity at all, kid?
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