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What you're describing isn't empathy. Empathy is putting yourself in other people's shoes, being able to see things from their perspective. What you're describing is the opposite, you're basically saying you don't want people to leave you for your own selfish reasons. Your lead maybe extremely happy to be moving on in her career. If you want to empathise with her, be happy for her.
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@nibor fair point.
I do empathise from her perspective and I am actually happy that she is pursuing a better opportunity.
I am sad because I get attached to people too quickly via empathy.
And yes, here I am being selfish because it's better to be a dumb person in a room full of smart people than the other way around. -
<update>
I asked her how can I connect with folks in strategy and first she asked me to talk to our manager to do so and in sometime I saw an invite from her where she'll connect me with strategy director.
And she is constantly making sure that transition is smooth by tagging me to right pages, collating stuff for me to refer, and everything that is possible.
It's late evening for her and she has a family. She is leaving in few days. She could literally not give a fuck about anything. But here she is making sure that Floyd lives a better life after she is gone.
Fucking legend. These people inspire me to constantly be a better human and make this world a better place.
</update> -
I can’t say I miss a single coworker
But I felt the way you felt in school even though my classmates were jerks as well
That strange sensation of nostalgia at the end of every year where I felt sad I was leaving
I don’t really feel that anymore
I just wish these time periods would pass and I could be at peace and live the rest of my life how I kept trying to live my life while everyone around me was busy trying to make everything go in a pointless loop
All I asked
Let me do something that continues to refine my logic and thinking process and allow me to be happy with where I am
Not so much right ?
A job
Alright pay
A place to live
Coworkers I don’t want to set on fire daily lol
Maybe a purpose that is higher mixed in
A few carnal pleasures
Work out routine and most importantly what is now missing everywhere which is hope -
I think the theme in the USA is somewhat best explained https://youtu.be/FXmh6Slkg_4
Based very loosely on real events
I like the line
“Hell is here heaven of late has been removed to another place”
The stupid kids and stupid people who converted to savagnarova extreme form of Christianity that destroys health happiness and sense and the little zealots in this video resemble the people I see every day
Most especially in particularly “family oriented towns” that simply persist with all their abuses and obscenities in an obvious veiled manner and worse that these people took over -
From her point of view she probably reached a stage where she couldn’t put the team before herself anymore, being on calls at 7am and midnight for a geolocated team would be very demanding on her and her personal life.
I had to say goodbye to a fantastic manager once, but I knew that’s it was better for her even though it was going to be pretty shit for me so when she confided that she wasn’t happy and wanted to change something. I encouraged her.
Think of it another way, for every great person you’ve worked with that has moved on, that’s an ‘in’ at another company if you need help finding a new role -
@TrevorTheRat
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Yhe life described in the post would burn the hot crispy Kentucky fried fuck out of many.
The only reason it probably didn't happen is because she might have been so amazing at her job.
You can only spend entire days on work so much, untill it becomes too much. Especially if you have a family, and kids to take care of.
WHY THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO END?
WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYTHING HAVE TO EVER END?
When I left my previous employer, I was so connected to people there. In fact my entire direct team was just few months old.
I ended up crying like a baby on my farewell call in front of everyone. I just couldn't stop.
Definitely not the brightest or smartest people, but surely great at heart. I did hate them at times and we had our ups and downs but they made the place tolerable.
The work culture is created by colleagues at any organisation and not the leadership/management. And work culture was one of the major reasons why I stayed back for 7.25 years even when a rat was earning more than me.
I joined new organisation with a big smile on my face that, I will learn and earn more. And as I was buckling up, my lead quit.
She was one of the smartest person I met. She inspired me so fucking much. Our entire team is geographically located in multiple time zones. Still she never hesitated to jump on calls as early as 07:00 AM or as late as 12:00 AM. Yet she pinged me every time on Slack to check on me and made sure I was doing well. Kept pushing me to get enough sleep, take care and not burnout myself. Always handling her daughter while on calls with us without impacting the discussions.
She taught me like her own child. So patient with a retard like me. Gave me good feedback and insights on how can I grow as a person and what all to look for in the organisation.
She bids her final goodbye early next week and with every meeting we have, I get more emotional. Doesn't feel like we are in different continents but just in same room, talking like we have known each other for years.
And you know what, after joining this org, I came to know that they hired me for a level below what I was in previous org (because how the job titles were structured here and I don't really care for titles). The product I am working on is highly ambitious and everyone is keen to make it live.
And now everything falls on me. Kickass opportunity to get a promotion, relocation, good hike, and all that I desire. And my employer is known to be quite employee friendly to actually fullfil all my wishes.
But that's not what I want. I want my people with me. It would have been so fucking awesome if she wouldn't have quit and together we would have built the product and have had so much fun doing so.
I am sure, the reason of my death will be empathy. I am next to tears while I type this.
I suck at goodbyes. Even though, with the help of technology, people are and will be connected, but still goodbyes are the shittiest things to ever exist.
rant
fuck empathy because it's not a good thing