31
molaram
14d

So… I’m in my 3rd week as pro bono "tech lead" at a startup with rather high ambitions but amazingly stupid execution.

A product manager (otherwise really nice as a person if he’s for real but I have my doubts…) who could do well in HR or perhaps politics, instead micromanages every aspect of the business including technical.

A project manager who acts as a psychologist: what did you do? how did you feel about it? how do you think others felt about it? did it make your cock hard or more like half-hard? care to write it down on a post it?

Completely tech illiterate CEO and COO, basically some loaded old geezers who felt like doing something else along with clipping roses around their mansions for the rest of their lives, who come up with shit like “have someone make that button bigger I can’t see it”

A bunch of phd’s who seem to make a shit ton of money on the side from buy-to-pass scams basically charging their students for online courses and books they base exams on, pull them our of MS word and they’re completely tech illiterate, and can barely stay awake during team meetings, I get the sense they're there hoping to sell more of their shit that's been outdated since some 20 years ago

A hippie lead over a team for one “UI/UX engineer”, himself, who can’t design a form, but dismisses any ideas that are based on metrics, analysis and some 15+ years of experience and common sense because “he has more experience” although his portfolio only includes this particular business, a few restaurant menus and a couple other unmaintained websites nobody heard about that probably get more traffic from some crackheads’ typos and chinese robots rather than real users

A "developer" from some shit hole country who barely speaks english and can’t figure out how to start a container but somehow manages to put together some js by copy pasting snippets from other people’s code.

Another developer who’s overworked doing most of the heavy lifting without any comments probably because some sad personal circumstance made him accept the shit job he’s doing right now, basically every time I see him I want to give him some money and some food and some pats on the back

A couple guys' wives who basically do nothing but chit chat in "team meetings". They're not even fuckable.

A data model that doesn’t follow any architecture pattern or logic or common sense even

A frontend framework that has nothing to do with the application that would ideally solve the business requirements of their domain

Some over-engineered backend code that gets you digging through 20 fucking files and concerns and libs to figure out what some random method does

Lots of technical debt rising from poor design and implementation decisions

No tests

No automation

No documented projects, processes, practices, domain model, basically the process I feed my dog with is more documented than this whole fucking joke of a company

Every constructive suggestion gets dismissed with half a page of mostly meaningless political bullshit

… and so on.

Guess who’s getting back to dicking around and posting shit on devrant soon?

Comments
  • 12
    I’m stuck on “pro bono”. I mean after running into any one of the things listed (*for free*!), but especially the “they won’t listen”, run? It leaves me feeling “but why tho?” 🧐
  • 1
    Excellent and funny post, can’t wait for the next instalment!
  • 1
    Cheers to your new found rant supply 🍻
  • 1
    @atrabilious I've done a lot of evil in my life. This is one of them attempts to make up for that. But these fuckers make me think it's all wasted calories.
  • 1
    @molaram sounds like you’re paying extra. No good deed, indeed.
  • 1
    @molaram If that's the case then go work for some charity creating great, useful software. This doesn't sound like good work, it just sounds like you're enabling an entitled, dysfunctional company.
  • 0
    How do these Pro bono programs work? How long will you be there for? Is there a stage where you get to evaluate your experience?
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