Ranter
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Comments
-
You have to be proactive if you want to maintain friendships. Picture it from the other perspective - what's stopping anyone who you haven't spoken to in more than 6 months feeling similarly lonely, getting annoyed you haven't reached out, and deleting your number?
-
@AlmondSauce I guess I should've mentioned this, but when i was living at home I used to reach out and hangout with people myself, proactively.
It's when I went away to the PG, that's when I realized nobody gave a shit about me. -
beefdead2371yIt's not like people INTEND to not reach out to you. Life happens, other responsibilities start taking precedence, everyone is getting older. People just drift away.
Keeping in touch with friends in late twenties or early thirties usually takes active effort from both parties. :) Good luck! -
@Sid2006 Sure, but the proactiveness is even more important when people move away. What was stopping them thinking "hey I never hear from this guy since I moved away - he doesn't care anymore?"
Friendships are harder to maintain later in life, and they take genuine effort. If you're lonely and want friends then put in that effort with people - and you might be pleasantly surprised in return once in a while 👍
Story Time.
I used to live in a hostel meant for professionals with two strangers in 2017, back when my salary was way too low to rent a flat on my own.
One afternoon I was just sitting around and looked at my contacts list which were about 50-60 people in total.
I started selecting people whom I hadn't spoken to for more than 6 months, and it was almost all of them except 2-3 people which were my brother, mom and dad.
Then I hit the delete button, I guess out of anger or me feeling lonely at the time. I wanted to see who remembers me or tries to reach out, given that I don't have their number.
And all these years later, it's still 2 people who I have in my phone contacts list. My mom and dad.
Since then, I am super exclusive to adding anyone's phone number to my list. I usually save their contact and start a chat on Whatsapp and delete their contact after for 6 months or more. When someone does text, I read their previous chat to remember who they are.
People come and go, but a corner of my mind wishes for that person who makes it into the list.
I kinda feel a little broken as I am typing this, but idk it might be the loneliness kicking in, idk. It is what it is.
rant