feeling so low about my life right now. i feel like a lifeless blob who doesn't deserve to be happy.

- my previous !dev (sorry dfox, i am a dev but still use this place to rant !dev things most of the time) rant tell the story of my heart right now, which got ripped to shreds once my one side love got off my car that day.

- i kinda wanna meet my homie gang, they are the group of guys to whom i go when my life is going bad and wanna escape reality. coz they sure don't have any solutions, but they have stupid talks to keep me entertained (and food/drinks fill up the sorrowful heart).

however am not sad at my reality. In fact, am trying to indulge myself more into office work, freelancing and private classes. plus they are kinda selfish and ignorant of my actual problems.

I just wish i could feel loved and respected once more.


unrelated, but birthdays are such an interesting thing. people wish you on their own, try to talk to you with more than 1 word responses, some even call you or meet you personally. everything feels special.

this doesn't happen on usual days. i had my birthday last month. by the end of my birthday, i was in love with one girl, planning a meetup with 3 , and planning a trip with 2 different groups of friends. i also was thinking of taking extra leaves and pre planning my arguments with my family as i was going to go on lots of place on upcoming weekends. super extrovert-ish

cut to today. i kinda did most of these and today am at a stage where i got nothing planned for a sunday but don't feel like meeting known humans as a recreational activity.

  • 0
    still life contd...

    we are fed up with the place we live in. And i am fed up with being part of a family with no power. everyday we are worried about a goddamn parking space for our car. whenever we take it out we need to put some bike or neighbour's bike to prevent it from getting occupied as our other neighbours are a menace. the parking technically belongs to noone, but our neighbour clakms it as his family "once used to park their car at that place" . it was 10 years ago and now he don't beven own a car. he takes random cars out of his owner's garage to park it there.

    almost all of our neighbours are snakes : vile, jealous and full of venom.

    but we can't move to someolsce else as we don't have enough money. we own a house but selling it isn't gonna give a great deal of money to buy another one.
    i can't relocate to other city/country alone coz well, single child and parents too much attached.

    everything goes in damn bad direction and i am just here, standing still. :/
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