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Senior manager calls me at 3pm today. I’ve known about this issue since last Friday, one of her pions told me to hold off until Thursday when he’s back in the office and that I could prioritise other tasks.

I have another task with a deadline of the 21st with the potential for fines if it’s not done.

Snr manager: “I’m calling to see how this is going”
Me: “cool, it’s not, bigger problems in the world”
Snr manager: “waah, this has to be done Monday or we face the potential of a court case, fines, this is the biggest problem in the world”
Me: “I’ve known about this issue for a week, have been told not to worry too much and nobody has mentioned the impact or timeline you’ve just given me.”
Snr manager: “so can it be done for monday”
Me: “no chance”
Snr manager: “why not?”
Me: “because it’s 3pm Friday and I have 1 hour of Work left, good luck”

My manager was in the room, he got an arsey call soon after. I don’t really care how that one went but he’s a good guy so I’m sure it was fine.

I also had the joy of asking: so give me an idea of the potential fine... to which they wouldn’t give me an answer.

I need this to weigh up which of the potentially finable tasks takes priority.

The other team that had trouble told me all the dates, gave me over a months notice and the scale of the problem.

If you want someone to help: be polite, give them as much warning as you have and be absolutely honest.

The job’s done cause I’m a fucking legend. But they’re not gonna find out until 5pm Monday. That’s the dickhead tax, they get the dickhead tax for being dickheads.

I’m gonna spend Monday working from home, incommunicado. Fuck incompetent arseholes.

Enjoy your weekend everyone, I know I will mine.

Comments
  • 1
    Cheers :)
  • 4
    @demiko the no sarcasm thing was the only thing that made me thought that might be sarcastic. Haha =D... enjoy your weekend brother.
  • 3
    @sauerkraut do it, regular tax is a little off the top... the dickhead tax is whatever you need to help that person realise they might be a dickhead.
  • 3
    Holy shit. Take my upvote, this is too good
  • 2
    Respect
  • 7
    I demand an update on Tuesday morning when you are back in the office ;) Would love to be a fly on the wall in the managers office on Monday when they can't get hold of you 😂😂😂
  • 1
    @Seudein honestly lost you on the second bit there sorry.
  • 2
    @WorstVarNames I’ll frame your upvote friendo!
  • 2
    @Noob and to yourself. Mad respect.
  • 2
    @Jonnyforgotten shit okay, I’ll update you after the weekend Bossman! Let me just put a reminder in Trello.
  • 3
    Oh also, here’s how it’s gonna go for them:
    More senior manager: “why is this not done yet?”
    SM: “the system is broke and it can’t fix it, they’ve had a week!”
    MSM: “have you told them how senior you are?”
    SM: “yes but they don’t seem to get it!”
    MSM: “let me get on the phone”

    Or, at least that’s how I think it will go, I’m not senior enough to usually be privy to those conversations.

    Truthfully, if they’re really that far up the shitter if this system fails: they used to do it all by hand, they should invest in more than a single support person, and stop taking the bonus & patting themselves on the back for firing 4/5 FTEs and replacing them with said flakey as fuck system.

    They’re not, senior managers just have a habit of trying to swing their dick to see if it still has any weight behind it.
  • 1
    So.. who died?
  • 2
    @WorstVarNames naebody, it’s all quietened down so maybe SM if I’m lucky but I would have expected to be included in the standard corporate 2mn silence if that were the case.
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