AboutI like PHP
Skillsstuborn selftaught with a little bit of improvised knowledge of everything.
Joined devRant on 5/17/2016
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I did a communication and multimedia design study because I was convinced I already knew almost anything.
Ooh the beauty of youth.
But it did help me in the long run, communication with clients and being able to present work with some decent looking presentation and mockups gets the managers all horney as teenagers on springbreak.
Pretty sure thats why I beat some competitors on big projects while their technical skill and team where much better.1
Anyone got some special tips to get the top place on Google advertising? I already try to pay more, somehow my client still end up second11
Any people around with experience developing for Google home/assistant.
Currently distracted by a headache and procrastinating on the couch watching Netflix. And I was wondering if I could develop an app that would pause my Netflix and tell me to fucking man up and get to work.
Maybe also one to get me out of bed, Google knows when I'm awake since whenever I'm awake I'm using a Google product. So no more snoozing just a swearing Google speaker that tells me to get the fuck out of bed. And won't stop unless I'm active.2
So one of my clients had a different company do a penetrationtest on one of my older projects.
So before hand I checked the old project and upgraded a few things on the server. And I thought to myself lets leave something open and see if they will find it.
So I left jquery 1.11.3 in it with a known xss vulnerability in it. Even chrome gives a warning about this issue if you open the audit tab.
Well first round they found that the site was not using a csrf token. And yeah when I build it 8 years ago to my knowledge that was not really a thing yet.
And who is going to make a fake version of this questionair with 200 questions about their farm and then send it to our server again. That's not going to help any hacker because everything that is entered gets checked on the farm again by an inspector. But well csrf is indeed considered the norm so I took an hour out of my day to build one. Because all the ones I found where to complicated for my taste. And added a little extra love by banning any ip that fails the csrf check.
Submitted the new version and asked if I could get a report on what they checked on. Now today few weeks later after hearing nothing yet. I send my client an email asking for the status.
I get a reaction. Everything is perfect now, good job!
In Dutch they said "goed gedaan" but that's like what I say to my puppy when he pisses outside and not in the house. But that might just be me. Not knowing what to do with remarks like that. I'm doing what I'm getting paid for. Saying, good job, your so great, keep up the good work. Are not things I need to hear. It's my job to do it right. I think it feels a bit like somebody clapping for you because you can walk. I'm getting off topic xD
But the xss vulnerability is still there unnoticed, and I still have no report on what they checked. So I have like zero trust in this penetration test.
And after the first round I already mentioned to the security guy in my clients company and my daily contact that they missed things. But they do not seem to care.
Another thing to check of their to do list and reducing their workload. Who cares if it's done well it's no longer their responsibility.
2018 disclaimer: if you can't walk not trying to offend you and I would applaud for you if you could suddenly walk again.2
I had this meeting with this new client and where talking about the possibility to exchange data.
And he told how his company now has everything in the cloud and if we also have it in the cloud it should already be connected since it's both in the cloud.
I tried to explain that because its both in the cloud that does not mean it's connected to each other. We still need to develop a way to exchange data.
On wich I got the answer that our data probably is not in the real cloud.
In the end I just said that we can probably exchange data but it the easiest way to accomplish this is talking to someone who maintain the data in your cloud. And we could adapt our system to theirs.
Sometimes it's hard to communicate with less tech savvy people about tech stuff. Explaining things in a way they understand but also is technical correct.7
Can somebody stand behind me with a taser and tase me when I'm not productive.
I have been trying everything but can't get myself to get any work done. Which is stressing me out making it even harder to concentrate.
So I'm hoping the fear of being tasered can scare me into productivity.
The feeling of wanting to work but not being able to is one of the most annoying frustrating feelings in the world. And it's slowly destroying my business.
So anyone got some ideas, I just need to get like a week of work done. But been trying now for 2 months and got like a day of work done.
And has anyone build a fun to do list app yet that is complity gamified maybe I can trick myself in doing more.27
So it's required by law to chip and register your dog. I just got a puppy so I had to change the owner of the dog from the kennel to me. And the only thing I needed was my chipvalue and the registration number.
So all I have to do is scan the dog and try the registration numbers and then I can change the owner. Like wtf. And it does not even send a confirmation email. I checked by changing owner and email again.
My registration number is only in the 600K so other registered pets should be easy enough to bruteforce.
Or am I missing something?7
Without a break this would probably be around 4 hours. After that I just loose all productivity. So there so is really no point in forcing it any further.
For working without sleep I have regular done stretches as long as 32 hours. With just breaks for food and a quick walk around. To keep my body awake.
Why you probably ask yourself, well this has several reasons. For me to get in the "zone" I have to be awake for at least 12 hours. I'm not sure why this is, but the combination of being too tired to get distracted and the increase in dopamine from sleep deprivation. Is I think what makes for this, or by now it might just be a placebo. But well it works for me.
So when a deadline gets near and I'm not going to be able to make it, which used to happen a lot because I used to have a lot of migraines. I would start working in the morning, trying to get things done but not being to able to. Then after a full workday would take a dinner break and get back in the office, at this point I get in the zone and time flies by as I work through the night. Next morning people are coming back in the office and I start another workday.
I try to plan this so I have a lot of meetings or other social work. I get really social and chatty after being awake for more then 24 hours. Because my problem solving skills have really declined after being awake for so long.
Now when I still used to drink, I would after this workday get some dinner and go out to a bar to have drinks with friends. To celebrate me having made my deadline and well I'm really social from being awake so long. And I stop overthinking everything.
Still looking for a way to get in the zone before being awake for so long, so any tips are welcome!
So the tax authorities in the Netherlands have this slogan that roughly translates to:
"We can't make it fun, but we can make it easier."
I'm not sure how this is going to be easy for me. This arrived in the mail today.
Even worse this is a fuck up from them. They are saying our company did not do it's taxes but when we log in their online portal we can see that we did them. But they are saying that they don't see it in their system.
Who build that system?
Trying to stay calm when they are claiming I own them more taxes then my company has earned in a year.
I did not have enough sleep for this drama.
By the way how about we save some trees and don't send 30 letters on 1 day.11
A search bar on a single page with all the information visible because the client kept forgeting the shortcut for searching in the browser.3
So I was waiting on a mysqldump for over a halfhour wondering why it was taking way to fcking long.
But then I saw I typed mysql -u user -p database > dump.sql
Instead of using the mysqldump command xD at moments like this you realize how important sleep is xD
So the contract for this big project with a client has some interesting content in it. I'm not sure if I can sign this in good faith.
Because I seem to be lacking guard dogs and a receptionist at my home office. Maybe I could build a force field for them.
And I'm not really looking forward towards having all my friends sign a document every time they visist.
5 PHYSICAL SECURITY
5.1 Adequate physical security perimeters (e.g. fences, walls, barriers, guards, gates, electronic surveillance, physical authentication mechanisms, reception desks and security patrols) shall be implemented to safeguard Information and information systems.
5.2 Supplier shall have a documented visitor policy and all visitors must be identified, registered, logged, and accompanied by an employee from Supplier.2
So one of the apps I develop and maintain is going to get penetration tested.
I recieved an email if I could whitelist all their ips so they could get acces to the system. Without any further details.
Like wtf? Arent you supposed to be testing if you can get acces xD
Next thing they will be asking passwords and keys xD and if I could build in a backdoor.3
According to my doctor and chiropracter I'm burned out right now.
But I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet. But my concentration and productivty have been gone for a few weeks now.
I mainly work alone and I'm currently trying to complete 4 projects. But I just can't seem to get it done anymore.
I know that when I'm in my peak I would only need 2 weeks for it. But I have been trying for 2.5 months know and getting nowhere.
Not really where the problem originated but probably with the ever changing specs and my main client that hasn't paid in 5 months. But he accounts for 80% of my profits, but the internal politics of the coperate stuff is making stuff hard.
Not really sure how to go from here yet, need to finish this but can't focus. Can't hire someone since my reseveres are gone and I can't take a holiday and relax because of the money and the voice in my head that says you have to get this done.
But the feeling of wanting to work but not getting anything done, like walking into a mental wall. Makes me wanne run into a real wall head first. Stupid body listen to reason so we can go on a holiday and relax!3
So we have been wondering tonight. Does this have a better name then round pointy slide navigation controls?8
Can someone kick some fcking concentration and motivation into me.
I havent been able to work for 3 weeks and I missed 2 deadlines. I got tension headaches and everytime I try to work I'm hitting a mental block. Get your shit together so I can take a holiday. Thank you brain.7
My client has been told by his previous developer that he should never update his wordpress.
Last update was done in 2015.7
Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.
With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.13
I really dislike the writing invoices and proposals part. Just let me make great stuff and give me enough money so I can live.
This kind of bullshit advertising is the reason everybody thinks we can do that every new whimp of the client within a few minutes.
Fuck off! Making real custom websites/apps takes time, planning, design, coding and testing. Its not just pressing a few buttons.
Translation: Make a website? 30 minutes.15
Why the fuck did you guys change my vps to read only file system.
WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH TIME.
What do you expect to tell my clients?
I should look into if I have legal rights to migrate everything to a more stable provider.
Sick and tired of having issues because other people fck up. It's a shame I have been using this provider for 5 years without any problems. And now servers left and right start having problems.22
Little self control when going out on weekends. It really drops productivity the next week. But it's sure is fun :)1
Because of hardware failure we had to move some vpns from one datacenter to another.
The team of highly untrained monkeys at my hosting provider were hired to do this. First they ran backups of all the systems. Then they started the moving process. A few hours later they were done. We got an email everything was back online.
So we restarted all our processes and no data was coming in from our Raspberry's around the country. So we start a little investigation. What did these buffons do, they changed our rsa keys.
So we kindly ask them to put the old keys back so we do not have to fix 200 changed key warnings on systems that are not remotely accesible.
Apperently something that can't be done because their back up process is automated and always makes new keys.
Holy fucking fuck, whats the point in having a backup its not an exact copy. Is this fucking normal?
Now I will be spending the next few weeks literally standing in cow shit reconnecting Raspberry's.
Thanks a fucking lot. Not!4
Sometimes In wonder if the support at my hosting company are a team of highly untrained monkeys.
I know jack shit about the finer details of server management, thats what I pay you guys for.
But you guys could at least try to be a bit more usefull.
If I ask you guys about the backup functions you could try to answer my questions instead of telling me what I can see on my screen myself. Because I can read pretty damm well.
After 3 days of getting no answers and not being able to backup to server with the tools you build and are telling us to use. The server died and now you are telling you can't recover the data?
How about fuck you! So we got no backup because of your fault you now tell us all our data is lost?
We got our own backups but rebuilding the entire server and infrastructure is going to take days.
Going to be a fun couple of days telling clients why shit isn't working.7
Today I build a queue to spread the load of the 300.000 daily caculations. To prevent slow server response time from to many analist calculating at the same time.
First run on the server I managed to get the server load to 120% and get us offline for 30 minutes.
Accepation environment and production are on the same hardware.
Today was not a good day.4
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6
After a few days of debugging why sessions where getting lost in some versions of IE11 when all the other browsers where working just fine.
I found the solution in giving IE a potato.
header ('P3P: CP='Potato')1