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Oh boy how do I put it?

So I am an introvert and I have a strange question.

But first some context is needed. I am mostly nice to people not because I like every one but because I think it would only waste my time arguing with them so I just start to ignore the person I don't like. Which puts me in a strange situation where a lot of people think I am their friend where I don't care about them heck I don't know names of some.

Now because I am introvert people/friends see me as someone they could unload their secrets on (knowing I won't tell anyone (because I don't gossip(because it's waste of time) ) ). So I know almost every gossip worthy shit that I don't want to know about or don't care. Sometimes they even ask me for some relationship advice and then it seems like I am like a rubber duck for extroverted people cause at that point they kind of ask questions that clearly they want some specific answer (wich if I don't provide they will say themselves). Also it is also lame to ask me as I have never been in a relationship (I am an Indian and here somehow people seams to get in a relationship just to be in a relationship. (cause it's "modern", "forward thinking" "cool") (which I can already see will not last)). I am not against relationships but I think it's better to appreciate a friendship rather then forcing that "a girl and a boy can't be friends".

Ooh BTW the question to other introverts is if they become rubber ducks to there surrounding people?

Comments
  • 11
    You are the Master of Whisperers in your circle
  • 2
    @jsframework9000 sorry I have not watched single episode of GOT.
  • 2
    but from what i understand yes kind of cause there's no king to report to and I don't do anything they come to me an tell everything.
  • 11
    I'm very quiet and reserved in real life to anyone I haven't been friends with for several years, and I get (and do) the same thing. Very rarely will I vocalize my disgreements with anyone, simply because I don't want to deal with that. Usually, when anyone wants some advice or to vent, they come to me. I guess I just come off as trustworthy.

    I do enjoy it though. With the info I get, I can blackmail pretty much anyone who has held a face to face conversation with me.
  • 1
    @captnmatt2736 blackmail aspect is great but I have hardly needed it.
  • 7
    @rammmukul Yeah, I have yet to find a situation where it proves useful... Maybe one day though.
  • 2
    Happens to me, too. It doesn't affect me in a way that I feel like a rubber duck but I can relate to what you're referring to.

    Apart from that I have one or two close friends I deem extroverted and with whom I have a regular exchange.
    They ask me for my advice which I'll give, even if it means disagreeing with them. In return I ask for their honest perspective on certain things. Can be refreshing, too.
  • 3
    I AM A RUBBER DUCK!
  • 2
    It's very liberating telling someone that you don't care for whatever they are talking about, if you really feel like that. Arguing about stuff will take you nowhere but not giving a fuck just ends the conversation.

    I've been a rubber duck for a few people and at one point it was just too annoying so I snapped. And they were fine with that, which surprised me but turned out.. just fine.
  • 3
    I used to be there too and then life turned me into a raging asshole and now people don't bug me anymore and I can program in peace lol.
  • 0
    @hugh-mungus, @rammmukul I can relate as well. I have a low agreeableness level as well. Even with friends, I can relate, etc. But after some time it becomes tiring, so if situation allows, I try to wrap up, because it is not helpful to stay. Otherwise I just become an emotional doormat everyone can clean their feet to! Damn!

    So I'm thinking maybe it's OK to say "no" . In that way I don't get to the point where I have to do what I don't want to and just see how my ship is drifting far far into the sea...
  • 0
    @hugh-mungus @Gabe17 yes agreeablity(formally conformation) compelles people to do absurd things. I think low conformity comes with geekyness cause if you are geeked out about something you obviously know alot about subject and you feel strongly about it and won't conform to others opinions just to be nice/friendly.
  • 0
    @hugh-mungus ok I mixed those up but talking about psychology is hard. Lot of ambiguity there.
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