24
soull00t
309d

i genuinely like programming. it's like solving logical puzzles for me, challenges on a smaller or bigger scale, and this is fun.
i always feel this when working on something on my own, i.e. a full stack project where i take care of everything.

but i'm so sick and tired of corporate software development.
i'm tired of scrum, all these scrum meetings, it feels like they are sucking my life energy away. if at least i had the feeling that i work in a team where everybody contributes, the team work is nice and also project management is aligned.
i'm tired of having too many different tasks in too many different areas or projects and never having the feeling to be able to really concentrate on one thing, to be able to do a job well enough so that i'm content with it.
i'm tired of this feeling that what i'm working on is not meaningful. the feeling that my team is not part of a bigger story where everyone contributes their part and where there is a sense of productive collaboration between teams. the feeling that mismanagement will result in a lot of money being burned, because of work being thrown away or becoming irrelevant, or because of miscommunication, making promises that can impossibly be delivered on.
this feeling that i cannot really improve or fix the ship we are sailing with, but rather being handed a bucket and being told to constantly remove the leaking water and put it back in the ocean, but always at multiple sites of the ship all at once.
i'm tired of being the only female dev and altogether feeling so different from the rest of the team, feeling that i do not belong there.

even though i need to make a living, i just can't imagine anymore to spend so much of my lifetime for something that makes me feel so bad...

Comments
  • 3
    Corporate is difficult, everyone seems to be competing to look better than everyone else regardless of what they are actually doing. Scrum teams only really work if they are really small teams, meetings are short and the work is broken down properly.

    There are usually better benefits working for a big company but I’ve always found it way more rewarding to work for a small/medium sized business.

    I guess it just depends what you want from work.
  • 6
    Join a startup, zero job security but it's a lot more fun
  • 2
    In my early days as a dev, my view of the profession was the same as yours: It felt like solving logic problems.

    Later that view shifted to a problem of how to structure the code so that it’s comprehensible, maintainable, extendable, correct and hard to use it wrong.

    It lost a bit of its charm but I enjoy it still.
  • 1
    You could code a project in public service or an NGO. It has more purpose and team structures are different. I prefer it to corporate. But then again, I know that feeling very well to be completely different species than the rest of the team nevertheless. It feels bad. But then again, it's only work.
  • 6
    I feel ya. All I can say is is keep trying different companies or different teams.

    Things can feel sooo different moving from one team to another. The hard part is maybe you've already had 3 different jobs and felt the same bad vibes at all of them...but you might just be unlucky and the 4th will feel great.

    My first programming job was dull, I figured "Oh well this is what it's like" and even though I heard friends from colleague saying they had a great time in other jobs I didn't really belive it. Until my next job which I loved. But if I had switched jobs and ended up at another dull Job I would've been sure that all programming jobs were dull.
  • 4
    That was a rant and a half. And hard to not relate to.
  • 4
    It's particularly annoying in the first dev job because no matter how good you get, you will always be "the junior" in their mind. They will treat you accordingly.

    Applying elsewhere after 3-5 years is probably easier than trying to change people's minds.
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