If a CPU were an employee...

CPU: Hey boss, I'm seeing you are giving me a lot of mathematical tasks that would really profit from splitting into parallel calculations. GPU's are great for that, we should get one.

Boss: But you can still do them, right? If you can do it, I'm pretty sure you can do it at GPU speeds. We gotta save up so I can buy another car!

----------------------

Boss: Why is this taking so long?

CPU: I'm overloaded with work, so I'm overheating. Maybe you could buy a GPU to help me out, or at least a fan...

Boss: You're overheating? Your personal problems should not affect your professional life. Learn to get your shit together or we will hire someone who will

CPU: *melts*

#include <time.h>
char*w = "AAAA########+++///9999AA Good %s!\n\0Morning\0Day\0Afternoon\0Evening\0Night";
int main(){time_t t=time(0);return printf(w+25, w+w[localtime(&t)->tm_hour]);}

//bisqwit's code