About#androiddev #womenwhocode, a third world trad who used to have Twitter. Listen, what are you offering me? Everlasting life? At the expense of my mental state? Not a good enough deal. No thank you. I know you're angry. But I had enough man. I'm done.
SkillsiOs, nodejs, android, flutter, wpf, uwp, SAP, Unity, Python
LocationAway from liturgical wasteland
Joined devRant on 10/14/2019
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Dear thieves: don't steal a dev's phone.
So I lost my phone. Some thief in a motorcycle took it while I was using it outside my home.
It was crap anyway, and after putting it on Lost Mode and going to the cops about it I slept like a baby. So I lost nothing.
Now I have the perfect excuse to harass the thief, the fence, and the poor technician who will try to break into my phone. Hahaha.
I phoned my telco today about my SIM card loss, phoned the government telecommunications agency to apply for my phone to become IMEI blocked (rendering it useless to anyone), and sent messages over Lost Mode telling the thief to return my phone to the police station and get himself arrested and me suing him for the keks.
Meanwhile I still had TestFlight on my phone and I sent the thief insults through my iOs app that I personally use. I'm not sure it still works over Lost Mode, but just in case they break through, they will not hear the end of me. At least until the government IMEI blocks the thing.
Or that I will settle for 12 months of my wages. Plus the lawyer's cut.23
Mfw too deep in the zone to go home after our tech lead told us all to go home because of the ash fall happening all over the entire capital.
I'm done anyway. Okay boss going home now.3
Ex-Backend dev of my former job decided not to get his back wages because the micromanaging CEO took over the clearance process of issuing the backpay.
In short he will have to sit in his office, hear him rant on how we are bad people, make us sign some sort of gag order telling us not to say anything bad about him or about our former company, then we get our back pay, which is probably just the cost of one sack of rice after all the imaginary deductions he can think of.
We don't understand. It's the HR who takes care of the former employee's back wages. Not the CEO. We don't need to see him in matter like this yet he wants to personally take care of it?
Anyway we chalked it off to the fact that he is a micromanaging asshole who is looking for ways to fuck us up even further through maybe some end-of-employment signing contract so nah, we'll just not get it.
You know, one of the sins that cry out to God for vengeance are unpaid wages. So we'll just fuck up our ex-CEO's chances for salvation by simply not claiming the money we are owed. Why should we have to crawl and grovel for things that are entitled to us by Heaven?
If anything, the CEO should be the one flooding our inbox with messages begging us to take our back wages.
We will probably get our backpay, sure, but if we do, it will be on our terms. Not his. Fuck him.3
Tl;dr having a corporate firewall is like having an overprotective parent who won't let you out of the house unless you explain everything to her from start to finish.
So I synced my Gradle today and I found out from the stacktrace of errors that one of my certificates has expired. Ok cool I'm just adding to my cacerts file then.
Or what do I know about certificates? I wouldn't have this problem if we have no forbidding corporate firewall to contend with in the first place.
My feelings toward the company firewall is as if my overbearing Novus Ordo mother is alive again and she asks me Socratically, why am I still not home, who am I with, are my friends wholesome? Except this time, she asks what do I need this Android dependency for and why do I need the entire certificate chain approved.4
1) Why's our team's junior QA engineer making daily progress reports on Excel from scratch? Dude we've got Azure DevOps. Tech lead is using it. Product owner is using it to make his report to stakeholders. I don't understand.
2) Junior android dev keeps commenting out code instead of deleting them "just in case," so I keep commenting "delet this" in his PRs. He is definitely doing it on purpose. He keeps laughing at my comments though he immediately complies. While I don't think he is mocking me, I am annoyed all the same.4
Product owners be like getting all over my case because I spoke against their cramming a lot of Acceptance Criteria in the product backlog items AFTER my devs committed to them this sprint. It's really off, considering that half our shifts is spent on Sprint planning, sprint refinement, daily scrum, and all sorts of meetings.
So what I did is let my juniors make dirty feature branches outta develop where my juniors would PR their code to, with little regard for architectural patterns (but still strict with design patterns), that way my team can have some speed with the committed user stories while I sew in the architectural pattern in a branch straight from develop. And then one day before code freeze I will merge the archi/ branch to develop, then each of their pull requests will be measured against the "archi/" standard, be thrown back them to comply with all the conventions, then approved. That way, code is clean and the POs will be happy.
Boy there's going to be a lot of debate and conflicts at code review.
Luckily I have enough mint ointment for my head in case of the resulting bad headache lol.1
Why do my Dad and my church-mate slash almost-gym-buddy have to tell me to my face that I am not okay, when in fact, I am okay? Smh. Religious people find out that I, a religious person myself, stay away from sacraments and prayers for the sake of my mental health and they are convinced that I have totally lost it.
Hey guys, you are great to be around. But please. You are not qualified to give me that kind of assessment. My therapist is. She gave me a clean bill of mental health last mid December. Otherwise I would have lost my job you know. She was the one who recommended me to go secular again for the sake of my mental health.
Also Dad, I am disappointed with you. Why do you have to rant about my spiritual state to my trad ex of all people? So what if I don't go to Mass anymore? So what if I don't talk about Catholicism in the table anymore? He doesn't need that information.
For the last time, Carl P**** and Dad. I am okay. I know you read my devRant. I don't need any of the sacraments for now, not even prayers. What I need is focus. I need to be able to do my job well.
Well, now I am not okay. I am now annoyed at the both of you. Leave me alone.7
One of my simple pleasures at work is having to arrange my desk, buying equipment for my desk, and arranging them neatly before I clock out of work. 😌22
That one time where the web dev team wanted our (the mobile dev team's) code structure to look like theirs for "muh uniformity."
That's it. I'm done for today. I can't concentrate here at work. I keep having this random nightmares about someone telling me "Jenny please come home," and my dad giving me a long rant of angry messages why I don't do this, or that anymore. I can't focus at work today.
I wanna go home to my apartment and ignore everyone while I watch Netflix1
Motorcycling to work feels wonderful man. I can sleep like 30 minutes before my shift starts (2 hours away from home when taking the car) and I still won't be late if I ride the motorcycle to work instead of taking the cab. One time I was at home with family (28 km away from work and 4 hour commute!) and I woke up just one hour before my shift starts. Got to work with 10 minutes to spare!
I am just not sure if the top brass would approve of my transport habits.
But I would fit right into the dev team's biker culture.10
I live for the drinking sessions at someone's home with homies who will talk to me about circuits, Huawei's SDK, code, and building PCs. Anything about computers, man. Stuff like that makes hangovers worth enduring.4
Part of mortification when you're in Fortune 500 company is that you have to constantly deal with the company firewall yeeting angrily at your Android Studio dependencies all the time.2
What makes a senior developer a senior developer? Is it tenure? The ability to code inhumanly fast? Is it being able to explain the philosophy of particular design patterns and architectures? What particular tech stacks are they good at? Are they good at sniffing tech trends?
I am called the Head of Android Development in my company (a Fortune 500 company) yet whenever I look at pull requests of my juniors they surprise me from time to time with their talent in the most unexpected of ways.
Titles mean nothing to me at this point now.6
Oh lots, that's why I quit social media entirely, including Discord, Messenger, and Reddit.
Chief of them is getting certified, getting a graduate degree, and writing to open-source. If I were to achieve anything, I will need to stop doing things that waste my time, even if those things give me a lot of fun and fulfillment, such as making memes and bantering with nerds almost every night.
I'm gonna miss the conversations about intellectual things and the random memes, even if they are about programming. I don't wish to lose sleep over them too, even if they are enjoyable to me. Sprint 1 starts January and I want to be ready for it. I want to be able to write my magnum opus.
Perhaps my social battery now drains much more easily than two years ago.
Regardless, I take it as a sign to change gears. Three years later, I'll be in my thirties. Thus, I need to do longer-term goals. I can't do twenties stuff anymore like I did when I was maybe 22.5
To be fair, Computer Science wasn't really a passion of mine. My parents, who wanted a quick buck when I graduate, chose the degree for me. They threatened not to pay for my college education if I took nothing else aside from Computer Science, and I was so engrossed with Molecular Biology that time. We were actually poor and the prospect of living with, at that time, toxic parents, for the rest of my life terrified me.
Then when I began to code for the first time, I realized I was so good at it and I loved it. I like worming my way through computers and how they work. I do get frustrated from time to time, but the sweet release of having solved a problem before excited me and I wanted to experience that again and again. It's a drug.
Long story short that's how Jenny became a dev.9
The server room smells horrible!
I was on my way to the restroom when the network guys went into the server room where we have some of our services on prem.
When they opened the room, the stench of burnt rubber, plastic, and dry air went into my nose and my open mouth. Then I gagged and almost fainted. The smell was so strong I almost tasted it. It was as if I sucked on a network cable as if it were candy. I do remember reading that network cables have rat poison in them, so I can imagine the effect on my body.
Right now I am suffering from dizziness and slight nausea from my experience awhile ago.
Avoid server rooms, guys.26
"This looks fabulous. You monster. How could you possibly think of it that way?"
Whether that is actually a compliment or no is anyone's guess. Back in college, I kept being told that I am a monster because I churn out code beautifully in their opinion. Then it stuck. Since then I subconsciously consider it a compliment when people call me a monster nowadays.2
So I went to Mass with family, got hammered on coffee rum, cooked Christmas ham and other Christmas food. Ate them with family, played rap songs, while I alternated playing Skyrim and chatting animatedly with my boyfriend and his family over conference call.
Life is good, man. I wonder what headache dev life will throw at me next.
ET VERBUM CARO FACTO EST. Christus Natus Est. Merry Christmas!2
I still don't know how to type with all of my fingers until now. I press all keys on the right hand side of the keyboard with my middle finger to hide the fact.
I do not know if I will be persecuted in DevRant for not typing in home keys, because in Manila, I'd be.4
I now know for certain that this junior dev at work likes me. At least just on the base level.
1) When he high fived me, he caught my hand midair and held it for a full five seconds before letting it go
2)He has taken to holding my shoulders as if massaging them slightly
3) And he slid his hands on my back from one of my shoulders to my waist
This is all considering that I did not wear makeup to work today and I did not have a good night's sleep before.
I could not find myself complaining to HR. Even with me trying to not look at him in the eye. I lowkey like his advances. @-@22
I suppose the years 2016 up to early 2018. I was a mid-level Android dev that time, where all I worried about was code and not the other aspects of my life. Boss was cool, put up with our habitual tardiness, but he held our code to the highest standards. Salary was low but the pace of the work was right for me. I did not care for family, nor for friends, nor for my own soul. I sucked in everything else but at least I was focused in my craft.
I was winning hackathons and getting to speak in meetups. I helped arranged conferences and I am the go-to Android guy by many UX researchers. Everyone knew me by name, and though many still do, I'm not as heard of today as back then.
I suppose I traded off a lot of things and I have different priorities now.3
So we have this Scrum.org Agile coach come over and teach our team all about Agile Scrum framework.
When we were asked if we have done agile before, I said so with as much humility as a Spaniard can muster: "My teams before may have done Agile, but everything seems so haphazard and half-assed, that it was obvious that it wasn't pure Agile we were having. We were having institutionalized chaos." And everyone in the team laughed at it.
After our large team went through the Nexus Zoo exercise, it was a disaster. We looked at each other. Everyone later that day kept repeating my catchphrase on Agile done wrong, "Institutionalized chaos."
Then we went out to have a Christmas Party where we all got drunk. Considering that I drank more than what I should, so much so that I can't possibly wake up early the next day, I am not regretting the free beer any moment.
I am now realizing that I don't know as much about Agile software development as I should have.5
Ah yes another morning.
Good news: another day where Imma see my baby mechanical keyboard again.
Bad news: another day where Half of my energy today will probably be spent ignoring my potentially thirsty junior dev. It's okay to find every excuse to ask me questions. But the few-second body rubbing during daily standups is 😰
Ngl I felt aroused by that man.
And one of the iOs developers... well when he paid for my contribution to later's Christmas Party, I wired him some money to compensate. Then he exclaimed, "Yeah that's right, Jenny, you need to pay for my silence."
Me, "Silence for what?"
iOs guy: "So I won't tell anyone who your crush at work is lmao."