Amen

My mom: "commit and go to sleep.."

Picking up girls

Me: We will be like C and Assembler.
Girl: Why?!
Me: Cuz I will decompile into you... ;)

Never ask Java developer to open a jar...

IDE is a bit hungry.

key to getting in shape faster is joining a gym you can't exit

When I was just beginning with Linux, I was watching a lot of tutorials about it. My friend (uses Linux 5 years)told me: "Everyone, in the beginning, should delete python on his system and then try to do something. That is the moment when a boy becomes a man." After this phrase, I thought: "What could happen?" And I did this. People on StackOverflow told me that I'm an idiot when I said, that I can not find terminal and there isn't any GUI. So don't f***ing do that sh*t

What should I do, if my girlfriend thinks that HTML is a programming language?