My vision for my dev career would be being retired from it because I no longer have to work for money. This will never happen.

when you slept through your fucking unpaid on call alerts (i remember when pre-interview i was told i wouldn't have to do on call, thanks for the incorrect information HR) and your manager happens to be your second and took care of it

fml

fuck phone UIs and settings, silence just everything besides pagerduty and slack, why the fuck there's multiple sliders for notification volume i don't fucking know

atlassian confluence you sack of shit I make a page/document, you tell me one of the images is broken after saving

well fuck, how the fuck does this shit happen?

I assume you make oodles of cash from all the fucking companies who use your products and apparently there's no competitors with the level of integration from all the garbage of confluence, jira, bitbucket etc. At this rate maybe you can outdo Gamefreak in terms of ratio of profit to incompetence/laziness.

zuora you fucking asshats, don't attach a dropdown button beside a thing if it's a fucking search box

Atlassian bitbucket you sad sorry piece of shit. I can see an old coworker's PR in the list but you won't accept it as a valid search target under the author searchbox, but even older ex-employees are searchable. What the flying fuck, go out of business.

And fuck you for JIRA as well.

1) What is the size of your team?
2) What is the size of your company?
3a) Do you have one on ones with your manager, tech lead and/or scrum master (insert whatever position you have one on ones with if you have them)
3b) How often do you meet?

When you forward an email from your boss to yourself again as a reminder, but add cuss words in because that's how you operate, the recipients list only lists yourself, but it apparently notifies your boss and shit.

Thanks for nothing microsoft.

When your team lead changes jobs leaving you the only developer on your "team"

1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.

"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."

"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."

"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "

"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"

"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)

Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.

2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.

But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.

3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.

4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.

5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.

6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)

7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.

8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.

9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.

when you haven't touched or changed your eclipse environment variables

but eclipse decides fuck it, can't fucking find em , get a separate unrelated error

When you do work on a front end ticket. You implement the things as UX tells you to, make a few mistakes, fix those as well when QA catches them.

But then UX realizes other improvements they can make , so you toss some of those in and move some of the other shit to tech debt to avoid possibly failing the sprint due to rabbit hole of front end awfulness because you suck at your job.

Then later somebody else a couple degrees above you in job hierarchy, notes a couple tips and things you could fix unrelated to your ticket. But when will it ever end or do. I suck and hate front end work, AY LMAO LEMME SUBMIT THE SAME SHIT WHICH RENDERS DIFFERENTLY BETWEEN CHROME vs CHROMIUM AND EVERYTHING THAT USES CHROMIUM.

You seriously telling me that I can hand the same fucking html/css whatever to different browsers and they'll render it differently? I have fucking safari and firefox look the same/as expected but fucking chrome looks different.

What the fuck, why can't we have a single standard and have it be followed. I assume some super smart fuckers getting paid mad dosh are responsible for getting this shit done and wrangling all us retards running around flinging shit around doing any sort of web work. Related : https://xkcd.com/927/ but I am no less angry and butthurt. Fuck css. I'm still fucking boggled, why the fuck can I hand over the same fucking input and some special fucking snowflake decides to process it differently I'd like to think they should output the same fucking shit.

Plot twist: maybe chrome's rendering it properly but firefox and safari are both misrendering it the same way?

And I can't wait for QA to get back to me on how it looks on fucking IE and edge when I get sick of this shit and if I ever finish.

Am I wrong to think my senior using an expiry date value null as forever weird or is this common practice?

bitbucket you slow fucking sack of shit, we've confirmed with our remote team members that other people on other networks have it slow as shit too

I really wish we could convince our team to migrate to gitlab or github instead

can't tell if it failed to find the pull request associated with certain commits because it's slow a shit, shit (because it's atlassian bitbucket) or both

there is the small chance that maybe it's just the shit telecom industry in this country too on top of it, but things were acceptable before

Silent errors in web-y tech like html, jsp, javascript , etc can fuck right off. I wish they'd silently kill me instead and end my fucking misery.

On the other hand maybe I just need to git God and just write perfect code the 1st time the way an old prof of mine recommended as the best way. Just draw 2 circles and then the fucking owl right?

I fucking hate sleep destroying on-call. I'd rather you just euthanize me and put me out of my fucking misery.

This idiocy of comparing most dev. on calls it to doctors to on call is fucking stupid unless maybe you're in health care and lives actually might be on the line. Pretty sure a fair number of doctors wouldn't wanna be on call and would rather sleep.

It also doesn't helps that it's not in my contract, I'm not getting paid for it, and I stupidly believed HR when they said I wouldn't need to. Should've trusted the dev.s when interviewing said there is. No way I'm getting out of on call without being fired when we're all on rotation.

Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.

Atom for mac is 292 mb zipped.

Why?

What's your company's vacation accrual and yearly carry over, and where is your company located?

I've got a deal of 5 days carryover per year and 1.25 day accumulated per month, in canada.

When it turns out the 900 line unit test set up called another giant method which you need to dig through but it's labeled deprecated. O.o?

Ux/ui I like scroll bars and think they are useful in mobile. But it appears the standard not to display it these days? Opinions?

Why haven't sjws kicked up a fuss about Facebook and the name's misogynistic origin in ranking women by attractiveness but arguably niche techie terms eg master/slave , whitelist/blacklist etc?

How old does a startup need to get before you cant call it a startup anymore? Or is age independant of startup status?

My vague naive extreme understanding of interview questions are on a spectrum from situation a to situation b.

But what should the industry be doing? Is the industry just going wrong blindly copying big N companies hiring process without the same rationale? (e.g. they need computer scientists able to deal with problems specific to them at their size and that often means creating new tech, unreal problem solving abilities and cuh-rayzee knowledge)

a) stupid fucking theoretical shit that some people argue you won't ever need to be doing in practice for most companies, while giving you no ability to google, leetcode hard problems kind of stuff

b) practical work similar to what you'd be doing on the job, small bugs, tasks, pair programming on site with your potential future coworkers

Lots of people hate option a because it's puzzle/problem solving that isn't always closely related to what's on the job. Whiteboarding is arguably very much a separate skill. (Arguably unless it's like a big N company where you want computer scientists to deal with specific problems that aren't seen elsewhere, and you're making new tech to deal with your specific problems.)

We could go to the extreme of Option b, but it tends to trigger people into shitfits of "NO, HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME DO REAL WORK, BUT NOT PAY ME FOR IT AT THE INTERVIEW STAGE"

That's before we get into how to execute option b whether or not it's being given as a take home assignment (which is a huge pain in the ass and time sink, among other issues) vs a few hours at the potential workplace working with some of the future potential coworkers and soaking in the work environment (you have to figure out how to take the time off then)

Is it really just poor execution overall for the wrong use cases for the majority of the industry? What should the industry be doing in which cases.

Then this is all before HR screening with shit like where they might ask for more years of swift experience than its existed.

Msvcr100.dll you sack of shit, how many different exes to repair the 2010 c++ redistributable do I have to try just so I can install some bloody software.

Windows 10 ,Microsoft pls

Eclipse you slow sack of shit I can't even try to twiddle settings to stop you from trying to link viewer selection with current editor and then I find out in already in flat package displaying mode.

Opinions on taking initiative and the expression of "easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission", when are the use cases, is it just a way to try and squeeze more work out of people in the Hope's they move fast and make cool minimum viable prototypes and stuff? Is it pointless until you have the skillz to do it properly/well?

I fucking hate mobile and iPad ui and general ux. I hate that I get shit for not being able to fix people's problems on them quickly enough with or without googling. Apparently that's my fucking line of work, no I'm just a fucking code monkey, I don't know where whichever asshat hide the setting to Jimmy or abysmal fucking browser implementations in fucking mobile chrome that makes it unable for you to buy car parts but it fucking works fine on a desktop browser. I ront want to reset your fucking weak passwords because you never remember them.

I can't even change my fucking phones background, or figure out or I lack voicemail because my plan or the fucking optoknnisnt present (one plus 2) and don't care enough to put more time or google it.

Maybe I'm just fucking incompetent. I like being able just to right click shift on desktop, going to properties or running both commands.

I never will stop being an imposter until I can fucking fix anything like a legit engineer.

I just spent around a fucking week questioning myself, my sanity, my code and a 3rd party api to find out I was submitting bad data to my correct code in a separate part of the product.

Fuck my life and my self inflicted stress and guilt over this. Hopefully edge cases are already covered, I fucking had working code or so i hope until the next bout of debug hell.

Also fuck you spring for not letting me see request body of an outgoing post request.