fuck you onelogin, saml and corporate login for being difficult to setup and understand (still haven't achieved either)

also fuck you outdated documentation

when you drag in a senior to help you and they think you're a retard (true), "just read the docs" (attempted), you have them try to babysit you through the setup and they realize the docs are not up to date/retard proof enough to get a proper setup on your end

I'm retarded and never learned or was taught how to CSS

What's the simple toggle/config/property to throw onto things in CSS so different rendering engines will render things to look the same?

I just want 1 line of text, an input text box and a button on a web page opened by an app, to look roughly the same on iPhone, android phone and tablet.

Why the fuck did historically shit get fucked up so we have different rendering engines. I just want my fucking 1.5 em/rem to be legibly readable on these different platforms.

https://xkcd.com/927/

https://webaim.org/blog/...

an extra special fuck you shout out to apple

time to go down the rabbit hole of who knows what, i dont fucking know what a fucking viewport is yet

apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?

and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough

fuck u

When an internal wiki document you wrote for your personal reference not intended to be used as a guide, gets used as a guide.

Like I intentionally didn't write it well , with no details or explanations, it's what just happened to work for me, on my environment.

Who knows when and if this'll come back to bite us. Hopefully I don't get blamed.

i fuckign hate css and never was taught how to read that shit, guess i should learn

or just cobble something passable together and hope i never need do heavy css nonsense again

newrelic why the fuck are the graphs not in the timezone set in my user preferences

pls

for all the money amazon aws has the web console UI UX is absolute dogshit and constantly chaning, i just want to make the fucking timezone match my local

when you don't know how to front end css and you get help from your tech leads and now you have to sit through the slow nitpicking of various dogshit mismatched overhangs and pixel jiggling that already exist in your product and may or may not be related to your ticket

well at least at the end of the call they helped you fix the shit for your ticket

When you do some group programming and let yourself get led wasting an entire day into writing 6 out of ~12 tedious higher level unit tests with lots of data setup and jerry rigging, that turn out to not even test the code changes you made on a ticket that another team is depending on.

But thank you to your tech lead for helping rope you out of that stupid shit with knowledge and clout.

Unfortunately the ticket has your name on it and everybody except the goon squad probably thinks you're a retard for going down that adventure (which was not your idea or desire).

I need to learn how to articulate no this isn't worth it, the complicated monolith software architecture with many different moving parts, among many other things.

Anybody have advice about figuring out how you learn and how to have discipline doing things you don't like (everything related to being a codemonkey) so I can git gud?

Disclaimer: I am an assclown who makes cobbles shit together and doesn't have a strong/real foundational understanding in the shit I deal with.

So does anybody actually write their tests before they write their code? I see the term TDD (test driven development) bandied around everywhere.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what the solution will be, nor am I confident in it until I've manually tested it seems to be working.

Then I usually write the automated tests if they are easy to do so.

i.e. I won't know what/how to test the thing.....until I make the damn thing

Is this a case of 'git gud' and have the problem "presolved" in your head, before you work on it such that you can already write tests first?

Or is this a case of "aGilE", where everybody says they're agile, maybe does a little bit of scrum (just the pieces they like/find useful, not the entire thing in a dogmatic/religious way), and possibly has never heard of the manifesto https://agilemanifesto.org/

disclaimer i dont understand css to begin with so you can discard my opinion

You have all these options for width https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US... , but guess what none of them do anything different as you brute force try them all in the chrome debugger. Dunno what cascades except my butthurt

so fuck it ~1000% width works and has an ugly overhang, but fuck front end

Finally discovered kind of explaining something that baffled me

https://stackoverflow.com/questions...

It really pisses me off as I've taken block scope for granted as a default thing.

I've got an open question to people in the community who know more than me, do most modern languages , scripting or not have block scope?

manually writing multiselector widget with jquery and javascript, because you need to be able hackily pass in metadata for some stupid fucking edge case that the previous generation didn't want to deal with

please euthanize me, i fucking hate frontend and im sure it hates me back

archaic jsp (java servlet pages) making life hard to do some fucking widget you gotta populate with some dynamic data

upgrading to a modern front end framework is not something the company is interested in doing (react, angular, whatever the hell's popular these days)

we can hack around it on the backend but we'd have to shuffle a boolean down to get used in one place at the bottom only (straightforward but ugly solution)

i hate my job and i don't know what im doing, fuck front end

Use simple working code of an if statement and reject bad data with an error.

Get the same result but through properly using springs nested path errors. But it doesn't work so now you need to spend hours in debug hell through spring framework code for something that should be easy, is blocking another team, because I have no idea how to do my fucking job.

When you're getting roasted and given tasks of fixing and changing some code you didn't write trying to get a PR in, and the person you paired with who wrote it has moved on to other work.

Moreover you'll be stuck taking the blame down the road if they don't fire you, as the policy is to rebase squash merged in PR's so it will all unfortunately be under your name.

Unless you're really fucking good at this shit, you write shitty code.

You look bad on your pull requests because you don't write perfect code, you get feedback and have to update it.

Sometimes you move existing shitty code around and if you don't rewrite it, your name gets associated with it and people think you wrote it.

Eventually it gets in, the cycle repeats itself.

You continue to wage slave so the 1% get richer, and you should be grateful for it.

Explain to me like I'm retarded why underscores are not desirable in a java class names besides, it's not the common convention.

Context:

FooBarLongClassName_OtherClassNameVisitor for a visitor class. This is the name of a class

My vision for my dev career would be being retired from it because I no longer have to work for money. This will never happen.

when you slept through your fucking unpaid on call alerts (i remember when pre-interview i was told i wouldn't have to do on call, thanks for the incorrect information HR) and your manager happens to be your second and took care of it

fml

fuck phone UIs and settings, silence just everything besides pagerduty and slack, why the fuck there's multiple sliders for notification volume i don't fucking know

atlassian confluence you sack of shit I make a page/document, you tell me one of the images is broken after saving

well fuck, how the fuck does this shit happen?

I assume you make oodles of cash from all the fucking companies who use your products and apparently there's no competitors with the level of integration from all the garbage of confluence, jira, bitbucket etc. At this rate maybe you can outdo Gamefreak in terms of ratio of profit to incompetence/laziness.

zuora you fucking asshats, don't attach a dropdown button beside a thing if it's a fucking search box

Atlassian bitbucket you sad sorry piece of shit. I can see an old coworker's PR in the list but you won't accept it as a valid search target under the author searchbox, but even older ex-employees are searchable. What the flying fuck, go out of business.

And fuck you for JIRA as well.

1) What is the size of your team?
2) What is the size of your company?
3a) Do you have one on ones with your manager, tech lead and/or scrum master (insert whatever position you have one on ones with if you have them)
3b) How often do you meet?

When you forward an email from your boss to yourself again as a reminder, but add cuss words in because that's how you operate, the recipients list only lists yourself, but it apparently notifies your boss and shit.

Thanks for nothing microsoft.

When your team lead changes jobs leaving you the only developer on your "team"

1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.

"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."

"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."

"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "

"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"

"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)

Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.

2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.

But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.

3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.

4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.

5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.

6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)

7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.

8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.

9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.

when you haven't touched or changed your eclipse environment variables

but eclipse decides fuck it, can't fucking find em , get a separate unrelated error

When you do work on a front end ticket. You implement the things as UX tells you to, make a few mistakes, fix those as well when QA catches them.

But then UX realizes other improvements they can make , so you toss some of those in and move some of the other shit to tech debt to avoid possibly failing the sprint due to rabbit hole of front end awfulness because you suck at your job.

Then later somebody else a couple degrees above you in job hierarchy, notes a couple tips and things you could fix unrelated to your ticket. But when will it ever end or do. I suck and hate front end work, AY LMAO LEMME SUBMIT THE SAME SHIT WHICH RENDERS DIFFERENTLY BETWEEN CHROME vs CHROMIUM AND EVERYTHING THAT USES CHROMIUM.