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Not exactly a dev related rant.

Do you ever get the feeling when you're not working, like today, that you're kinda wasting time (can't find a better way to describe)? I usually work on Sunday at home, running behind insane deadlines, trying to anticipate tasks. Today was different, I woke up to a fresh VS 2017 install, updated my .net core api to 2.0, learnt how to deploy to Azure, made a CI/CD pipeline and then spend some fun time with my 5 month baby. Argued with him when Azure didn't let me make a new subscription. Sat on the sidewalk with him doing absolutely nothing for a solid half hour, only looking the way he admired everything around him and stuff. Took the trash out, did the dishes, helped with the laundry. But yet I feel like tomorrow gonna be a rough day, where everything will blow up 'cause I didn't did anything work related.

I'm starting to think I lost the taste of enjoying myself, enjoying the people around me, my family, parents, friends. I've been spending too much time on autopilot. Wake up, smoke, work, eat, work, smoke, sleep. Repeat.

I do enjoy my job, a little less when it's not dev related, but I do anyway. We are a small company with big contracts and tight deadlines. Always struggling to give our best and advance further, but I can see I'm loosing something while giving 120% of attention to my job.

Anyway, just wanted to get this thing out of my chest. Thank you if you read this far.

Comments
  • 3
    Gz, you have started to not give a fuck :)
    Welcome to the club
  • 2
    @Linux I shall do this every damn weekend. Thank you!
  • 5
    Giving time to your kid is an insane work 👍
  • 2
    This was the exact thing that's happening to me, except for the baby.. sadly he(or she) didnt make it :( ... ive been giving my 120% to my job, even doing things that's out of my JD. I even participate on board discussions providing tech ideas / trainings to them as i think i was part of a bigger picture, but lately i've had a gut feeling that they're shutting me out. As if theyre telling me that at the end, im just a replacable employee.. Likewise i already did not feel that spark that runs through me for that last 8years..this past few days all i did was finish what is served, answer what is asked, do what i can to survive.. but im already dead inside.. sorry for the rant inside your rant.. to make it short, I feel you man!
  • 1
    @jinryu sorry to hear that, man. And don't apologize, we all need to vent from time to time. Hope you get in a better state someday, as I wish to me.
  • 2
    @alvaroalves05
    I have three kids, and spending time with them is boring sometimes - doing same shit all day long.
    But when I look back, I enjoy it and I will do that again and again because that time will never, ever come back
  • 1
    @Linux he's my first one. And reading this while playing with him made me wonder if I ever gonna feel like this in the future.
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