Enlightenment did happen, but it would be a reach to call a little rich Italian hipsters’ literature fad a “worldwide phenomenon”.
When we emerged as a species, all we had was tools and fear. Nothing has changed. Our progress in tools did fix suffering somewhat, but it couldn’t fix fear.
Fear is what makes one person attack the other, from a pub scuffle to launching nukes. It’s all the same, isn’t it. If I don’t strike now, they’ll strike first.

Losing an argument says nothing about you. Someone yelling at you while you stay silent says nothing about you. Being rejected says nothing about you. Being ghosted says nothing about you. Being betrayed says nothing about you. Even obeying your boss says nothing about you.

There is no need to compensate. You have the power to turn your “yes” into “no” swiftly and confidently whenever you want to.