I live in an actively hostile body

an invaluable object made by your people within the borders of your country: *exists*
uk: oh, for me? you shouldn't have.

I’m sixteen. You’re fifteen. Your home is a brothel, my home is hell. There is no war in sight yet. I don’t have bipolar. I don’t have scars.
Let’s have some fun!

Tailwind is what happened when a Perl dev looked at CSS and said “I can fix it!”

ahem…

In the early 2010s, at select locations, Nokia Oro phone was offered bundled with a portable IPL hair removal device. Its enclosure was made entirely of leather, layers upon layers of compacted leather of different kinds. It gave you access to Queer Mode™ — engage it and have sex with any of your thoughts. Your mind was your oyster, but it was in fact being turned into a two-bedroom all-white apartment designed by Karim Rashid.

As the tech was getting older, the only way to source capacitors was syncing your Alienware table clock with the root node using a non-laptop that had shapeshifting black goo for keyboard.

Small puppy that ran Windows 8 was always smothered in shit. The white non-kitten ran Nokia’s version of QNX.

Your tech will power off forever after two years of warranty is over. You agreed to that, it was in terms and conditions.

If you don’t know Linux, you’re stupid.
If you don’t know macOS, macOS is stupid.

This is why I don’t drink

The main maintainer of libadwaita — the library Gnome is built on — is an autistic trans girl from Russia.

https://mk.nyaa.place/@alice

damn girl, you’re so basic your ph is 12

My brain overheated again. with my autistic empathy cranked to 11, I’m now feeling sorry for a js service worker because browser puts it to sleep when it wants to, and it has to call waitUntil to ask the browser not to
I’m about to cry

What you like in products is what other humans like, because you're a human. Corporate money-making strategies are inherently anti-human. Thus, sooner or later, they will remove every feature you liked and replace it with bs

There are only two kinds of open source projects:
1. Short, all-lowercase, starts with “lib”, written in C, obscure author, used by 80% of the electronic devices on earth and in space, the modern civilization as we know it will collapse immediately should this library disappear
2. Name that tells you nothing, readme has the “Philosophy” section and emojis, written in JavaScript, author has 20k Twitter followers and 50k GitHub stars. When you run it, your laptop’s coolers start spinning like crazy
3. Common Lisp

After the capsule started spinning, what seemed to be a suspended copper wire unfolded like an origami. Soviet tech not only looked cool, but was easy to repair. I loved every minute of marveling at this wire kaleidoscope before it overheated and went out with a bang — a small cap popped. I’ll recap it later.
…
Yellow foam covered my lips. They were gammas.

Creating a Microsoft account was a mistake. They just spam your email constantly from different emails they own, and there's no unsubscribe button. Instead, email footer says “this email is a part of limited promotional email series” or some other BS like that. And you bet, there is no email preferences anywhere in settings.

This is why I use email aliases. Instead of bowing to those bastards, contacting their “support” and begging to stop, I just disable the alias I used to create their account. Boom, done. When I need a login code or some other shit, I'll re-enable that alias, get my code, and then shut it off again.

My inbox is _my_ inbox.

Today I made a fucking BANGER ui for my project. Y’all gonna shit your pants when u see it

Caffeine meets every criteria for being a drug:
- Alters mental state
- Addictive
- Has withdrawal symptoms
- Tolerance increases with time

If you rely on caffeine to function, statistically, you spend the majority of your waking life in caffeine crush, longing for more and more caffeine to just function normally.

Face it: you’re a drug addict. Caffeine being legal doesn’t mean it’s not a drug.

I don’t do caffeine at all. I don’t drink sodas that have caffeine, I don’t drink tea either. That’s why I’m always full of energy. Yes, caffeine withdrawal gave me a week of terrible headaches, but I pushed through, and now my life is completely transformed.

Should I dip her?

Today I installed OpenBSD on my i386 IBM ThinkPad T42. Yes, Windows XP works way better because of the drivers availability. But there is nothing quite like browsing Gopher on an old ThinkPad knowing you’re safe.

Find your local growth in your nearest damp basement. Reach in. Take a whiff. Now you know CSS

What’s your “completely break KDE Plasma beyond repair while never leaving their GUI settings panel” speedrun record? Mine is 8 minutes. That’s four times as long as my usual sex!

Everything is a fucking text.

BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR

S/HE IS HER/E

At the end of the avenue, lived its creator. Well, used to leave. The weird half-house is hoarded, and his skeleton is there somewhere.

When flying above, I noticed a small enclave with fancy but small buildings. I put on my cloak and landed.
“What is it? It’s easier to answer what it is not”.
The hatch opened. I went in, about 30 meters. The hatch closed behind me. The tube-powered holographic screen lit up. “I think the secrets of the universe is more important than knowing today's weather”, she said, smiling.

I put on a blueprint of their superbug. Incurable, it had molecular ammo on it.
“Thanks”, I said, leaving. “Forgive my autistic antics. As for my cat, well, they copy their owners’ behavior, don’t they?”
And I took off.

I finally got some tattoos. I don’t know why, but all of them were about menstruation.
“I don’t want to let _him_ into our tattoo life club!”, my cousin said.
I then connected our M1A1 Abrams to a military tablet I stole from the avenue creator. “What’s that?”, my uncle said. “It’s the fourth time already that I get us new fiber optic cable. Think about my father! He’s dying!”
I hug my cousin. She was already dead.

This is why I’m stuck here. In the middle of nowhere, in a rusted trailer, naked, eating uncooked human meat from a dog bowl.

Every religion's idea of heII paIes in comparison to what one man can do to another man. “If there is a God, He will have to beg for my forgiveness.” This is a quote etched on the wall, inside one of the Mauthausen concentration camp cells.

Programmers are freaks with three limbs and square heads. During your fiery conference speech, as the crowd laughs, one filth, who is your manager, tells another filth, who is someone else’s manager: “Look, this is my mule. Can code many hours. Don’t has to pay many moneys. My mule is more good than your mule. In Bangalore, they ask very many moneys for this mule.”
And you know damn well that when in Bangalore they ask less, you’re gone in a flick of a pen. Your company sent you to give this talk. Meetup? No, just a freak show for mules. Is it a dick measuring contest for investors? No, not at all. As you speak, this filth is fucking his secretary in Aruba while his wife is dying of cancer in Miami. And the supreme filth, the one that has no eyes and no mouth? It grins. Go mule, spaces versus tabs. Vim versus Emacs. Linux versus macOS. Divide and conquer.

All brand new tech products are a scam. They lose half of their value when you open the box.

Buy used. It’s better for both your wallet and the environment. After a month of use, your brand new thing would’ve looked similar anyway. Yes, you lose the unboxing experience when you buy used, but it’s nothing but a consumption addiction reinforcement.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter how fast it doesn't work.

If you ever decide to become a manager, I hope every time you sit down, your chair makes a farting sound, but just once, so you can’t repeat it to demonstrate that it was in fact your chair and not yourself.