Excuse me but this is what I laughed at the hardest in a while

they say everything "old" is better, but in programming, dependencies in C was a mess. Shut up. Sometimes C is a cult enforced by those who don't even write in C. Now I build my projects with Parcel in less than a second with no configuration. It uses a full-blown AST for everything. If I want more performance with similar DX, I use fastpack, bringing build time down to tens of milliseconds.

art? charli xcx, sophie xeon, death grips, just to name a few. they made things that weren't imaginable before, ultimately pushing music forward. Hendrix is good but they're just incomparable in terms of beauty, complexity and sophistication.

literature? every old book I read feature same conflicts. they are so similar it's almost boring to read them. meanwhile, Erlend Loe delivers a complex idea without using a conflict (!) and without any character changes. that's insane.

"older is better" is getting old. it's time for you to seek for some other reusable gibberish to insult what other people create.

finally, let me remind you that you, my friend, create nothing.

the boy needed dick surgery..... and there was his girlfriend before surgery and she's like "don't worry it'll be alright"..... and then he woke up after anesthesia and everything went fine but there was no girlfriend......... and he asked where is my girlfriend...... and doctor told him "who do you think gave you the dick"....... this is so sad..... liek if u agree...........

If something is functional and you don’t think it’s beautiful, you should rethink your definition of beauty.
— Some moron, 2017

I wish my irl voice had autotune always on

php be like

Does social media make you suffer? No? You sincerely enjoy Instagram and TikTok?

Then never listen to all that "social media detox" crackpots. There is no need to feel guilty about what you enjoy.

Some people find social media detox relieving. But some people don't. Detox supposed to make you feel better. If it doesn't but you keep blaming yourself and keep going just because some ray-ban-wearing hipster told you so, stop.

Watch your TikToks. Leave yourself alone.

Both consumerists and anti-consumerists capitalize on your evolutional desire to be better than others.

Obsession makes my life worse but my work better

My iPhone is called “Beyond”. I can’t remember why. When my friends added me to their iMessage, I was listed there as “Beyond”. In a way, this name is associated with me.

That being said, you should taste Beyond Meat.

If you have no moral compass and only want money, don’t work for Facebook. Work for ISIS. It will get you much more.

Otherwise, look for a decent company.

So you like vscode huh? You probably should read this

https://github.com/microsoft/...

Phil Collins "Face value" album cover looks dope

Posting images should be earned.

Today’s frontend bitches appropriating functional programming like “ancient programming secrets” is exactly like eighties con artist bitches appropriating yoga and ayurveda like “ancient well-being secrets”

Just plain wrong and laughable

Go learn cs

It’s the small things.

curb your useless
🐊
alligations

On March 10th russian government tried to block or at least slow down twitter because twitter refused to delete some posts that russian govt wanted to be deleted.

Things that were down that day in russia:
- rostelecom (largest russian isp)
- FSB (russian CIA)
- SKRF (russian FBI)
- RKN (russian FBI but for internet control)
- gosuslugi (basically the govt website for all utilities imaginable including but not limited to medical help, taxes, passports, everything)
- kremlin website

Things that were up that day in russia, operating at a regular speed:
- twitter

You’re not overly shy.
You’re not overly aggressive.
You’re not overly anything.

You’re just perfectly mediocre.

two trucks having sex
two trucks having sex
my muscles
my muscles
involuntarily flex

Trying to upload an image, get http 500...

Nokia not even having a 3.5 jack to begin with (even when walkman existed): jUsT bUy aDaPtEr dUh
Apple removing 3.5 jack after introducing AirPods and putting lightning EarPods in the box with iPhone: REEEEEEEEE

Nokia switching from one charger plug type (thick barrel) to another (thin barrel): jUsT bUy thE nEw cHargEr dUh
Apple switching from an old wide port to lightning: REEEEEEEE

Nokia working with only Nokia Sync and Ovi that barely can do anything but lag and throw random errors at you: wElL jUsT dOnT uSe iT dUh
Apple using iTunes (Apple Music) which in 2021 can restore an absolutely bricked Apple device from the original HDD iPod to the latest iPhone 12 pro: REEEEEEEEE

Nokia using cheap labor since moving production from Hungary to Asia: *crickets*
Apple using cheap labor at Foxconn: REEEEEEEEEE I'M gOnNa dYe mY aRmpIt hAiR piNk tHiS iS alL bEcAuSe oF pAtrIarChy

I'm not even mad. I'm just disappointed.

You know how I call all this modern red dot design award chinese shitshow?

Xiaohaus.

I used to be a basshead but I GRADOated.

Eh?...

Fuck you.

I’m tired of all these profane “frontend developers” who do nothing but get cheap internet points by shitting on web technologies.

Bitch, NPM is just a package manager. That’s what it is. Anyone who ever used a package manager already knows how to use NPM.

Here on devrant, there at your workplace, people hear nothing but bitching when you open your mouth. You always need a “solid task description” and “best practices”. You always need somebody else to do your job for you. Frontend is the area where you have to constantly switch between heavy, performance-oriented coding, UX and graphic design while remaining in a dynamic environment that is called “web”, no wonder why you can’t do that. Instead of bitching, you could just present your own solution you designed with just a little bit of product-oriented thinking. But noooo, you fucking bother designers whenever you’re not sure about “how many pixels is that padding”.

You can only be barely productive (and only with a frozen spec) but can never take the lead just once.

In the 80s your kind of approaches were doubted, by the 90s they were dead. In 2020s they’re straight up laughable.

And don’t get me started on CSS. You have to be an absolute buffoon of a developer to not know how to use a DECLARATIVE tool that don’t even require real structural thinking.

No wonder why you praise php. You throw shit all over the place and tell everybody that you’re a “sociopath” and you don’t need that “stupid frontend” and “stupid users”. But you know what? Any real backend or embedded dev would’ve laughed at your face.

Because backend developers are respected.

You’re not.

The letter for my grandpa. Too bad he died the year before I was born, my grandma said he would’ve loved talking to me because it seems like we have the exact same ways of thinking.

My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.

The albino cube.

Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.

And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.

Manic episodes make me productive while never ending immense guilt make me constantly learn new things because I feel absolutely worthless when I don’t.

I wish all the money I have could fix this but it cannot.

Pockmarks, handcannon, face full of craters

Imagine unironically WANTING to work at facebook.