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Root7976732dI definitely need to do these things.
That “connect with people” part is proving very difficult. Perhaps I’m just an unlikeable bitch and nobody dares tell me. 🤷🏻♀️ -
Liebranca109332d@Root I've decided I don't care to: people, common people, and most certainly otherwise good people, still ostracized me throughout my life -- I do *not* look to them for healing.
Am I resentful? Yes. But challenging this notion has never gone well. Matter of fact, trying to twist this fate around has only made matters worse thus far.
I don't know why it took me so long to write something as simple as this one comment. Maybe because it's pretty fucking bleak and that doesn't sit well with me either. -
Root7976732d@Liebranca … yeah. That’s been my experience as well. No matter how hard I try, how friendly or helpful I am, etc., I’m eventually forgotten — either passively (drifting apart), or actively cast aside. It has happened every single time (save with my wife) no matter my actions or efforts to the contrary. And always, the harder I try to change the result, the worse it ends up.
You can’t force relationships and all, I know. But this seeming eventuality makes me feel unwanted, unlikeable, taken for granted; used and abused and abandoned; an outcast. It’s utterly depressing.
I need people in my life. Loneliness destroys me. -
nosoup4u205432dI feel what you're saying. As an aside, I've been thinking of taking up smoking again. It's expensive and unpleasant, but I'm sure it'll kill me faster, so that's a big positive to offset those negatives.
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Liebranca109332d@Root Everyone needs people, alright. But at this point I might as well be hardwired for isolation, it's outside of my control. So whatever -- depression it is. I'm convinced the "well-adjusted" poor fuck on the opposite end feels about as miserable for different reasons. Perhaps he has it even worse, in which case, fuck him.
@nosoup4u I do feel bad for talking about death so lightly, as in I'm thinking it got dark pretty darn quick, yet I have to be honest at some point. Like the fuck am I doing. Waiting for حشيش to be sold in dispensaries probably.
Computer! I live in a state of constant mental exhaustion. What does this mean?
*BEEP-BOOP*. IT MEANS YOU'RE STRESSED, BITCH.
Interesting. How do I get rid of this... "stress" you speak of?
*BEEP-BOOP*. GO OUT, BITCH. SEE NATURE, BITCH. CONNECT WITH HUMAN BEINGS, BITCH.
Oh, fuck no, that's just not going to happen. Any other tips?
*BEEP-BOOP*. STOP USING DRUGS, BITCH. YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE, BITCH.
Well, fuck me, I can't do that either; guess I'll just take this with me to the grave. Thanks anyway, computer.
*BEEP-BOOP*. YOU'RE WELCOME, BITCH. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, BITCH.
Yes, I hope as much. The sooner the better.
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