I was in a okay mood. Then i drank. I had fun skyping with some people (dont judge, it was their choice). Now im drunk, alone and getting more and more depressed.
Im honestly considering going to McDonalds and give away a few rubber ducks and show some card tricks, maybe ill get some friends. Or haters.

Conclusion: I hate when i get drunk. When im sober, i cant wait to get drunk. This isnt even a conclusion, i have no idea what im doing.

Sounds like alcoholism. I'm sorry for being blunt.

I don't have any good advice, except that you need to find pleasure elsewhere.

@AndSoWeCode im slightly aware of that. Im trying to find a solution to it, but its not as easy as debugging code

Im not seeing double. My comment is there twice. Right?

@rasm945i it's a bug just refresh again and the double will be gone

@rasm945i

@AndSoWeCode is right, since you're saying you're even so slightly aware of it, then you should start getting some help, either through anonymous alcoholics groups or better a therapist, which will help with figuring out the reason you're drinking.

I feel I can tag @bitwise too, he's gone through so much shit and finally settled, he can give you for sure a good first hand suggestion on how to get out of/over it.

@JoshBent im pretty sure i wrote some semi long reply from my pc shortly after you replied, but the only part i remember is "Thanks for the reply" :/

@rasm945i as long as you considered some options listed above, it's alright

@JoshBent i am getting a bit help, but from neither of the options you mentioned

@Bitwise thanks for the reply.
I dont drink that often tho, but when i do, its of the wrong reasons.

I dont believe its serious yet, but its still enough to get my mom worried.
Ive managed to cut it down to once every 2nd or 3rd week, but as with alot of other things, my "plan" stops working after a while, and thats what i experience now i guess.

For a short while, going to the gym was an alternative to drinking, only worker for a short while, but it helped alot.

@Bitwise giving your reply an extra thought, i think my friends are one of the triggers for me as well. I cant exactly just drop them, we live under the same roof, and im not sure i could handle other triggers without them.

Usually servers, programming and such is my "escape from reality" were i can be myself and just make the time go by.

Its not a problem currently. I think. Im not in a position to tell since im only 18.
However, my parents and the people around me thinks it could lead to something negative and addicting. I myself believe my parents are overreacting a bit, since my moms dad was an alcoholic, but when other people around me say the same, it makes me think twice.

Maybe im the one overrreacting on the stuff i get told.

@Bitwise about a month ago, i tried a cigarette while drunk. I barely inhaled anything, and i was almost dying for 30 minutes.
Never again.