Every time I think I've seen the worst there's someone to prove me wrong...

GRANT ALL ON ALL TABLES/SEQUENCES
To web user on production

if (x == 1) y = 1;
else y = x;

loop through a collection and get 'few' relations using ORM - 1000s of queries and not a single join - but don't worry, "The ITs will just add more RAM and some CPU cores to the server"

4th day off and I already miss this

Even your cluster of databases will crash if let's say 10000 similatenous requests comes to your server. Don't misuse the power. RAM isn't solution to everything

Yeah, tell it to the subborn PM who is certain that moving a db to a mastodon EC2 with 100+GB mem will allow it to handle any load.
Well IT WON'T FUCKING HAPPEN BECAUSE THE CODE IS SHIT!!! And it's not the devs' fault, it's the sudden specification changes that break the data integrity and mess up the whole application flow, gradually turning the codebase into a barely maintainable pile of junk supported by devs' tears and begging to be deleted for good