'Sup mates.
First rant...
So Here's a story of how I severely messed up my mental health trying to fit in university.

But the bonus: Found my passion.
Her we go,

Went to university thinking it'll be awesome to learn new stuff.
1st sem was pure shock - Programming was taught at the speed of V2 rockets.
Everything was centred around marks.

Wanted to get a good run in 2nd sem, started to learn Vector design, but RIP- Hospitalized for Staph infection, missed the whole sem and was in recovery for 3 months.
So asked uni for financial assistance as I had to re-register the courses the next semester. They flat out refused, not even in this serious of a case.

So, time to register courses for third semester, turns out most of the 2nd year courses are full, I had to take 3rd year courses like:
Social and Informational Networks
Human Computer Interaction
Image processing
Parallel and Distributed Computing (They had no prerequisites listed, for the cucks they are: BIG MISTAKE)
Turns out the first day of classes that I attend, the Image proc. teacher tells me that it's gonna be difficult for 2nd years so I drop it, as the PDC prof. also seconds that advice.

Time travel 2 months in: The PDC prof is a bitch, doesn't upload any notes at all and teaches like she's on Velocity-9 while treating this subject like a competition on who learns the most rather than helping everyone understand.
Doesn't let students talk to each other in lab even if one wants to clear their friend's doubt, "Do it on your own!" What the actual fuck?

Time for term end exams and project submission: Me and 3 seniors implement a Distributed File System in python and show it to her, she looks satisfied.
Project Results: Everyone else got 95/100
I got 76.
She's so prejudiced that she thinks that 2nd years must have been freeloaders while I put my ass on turbo for the whole sem, learning to code while tackling advanced concepts to the point that I hated to code.

I passed the course with a D grade.
People with zero consideration for others get absolutely zero respect from me.
Well it's safe to say that I went Nuclear(heh.. pun..) at this point, Mentally I was in such a bad place that I broke down.... Went into depression but didn't realise it.

I met a senior in my HCI class that I did a project with, after which I discovered we had lots of similar interests.
We became good friends and started collaborating on design projects and video game prototyping.

Enter the 4th sem and holy mother of God did I got some bad bad profs....
Then it hit me
I have been here for two years, put myself through the meat grinder and tore my soul into shreds.
This Is Not Me
This Wont Be The End Of Me
I called up my sister in London and just vented all my emotions in front of her.
Been a long time since I felt that.
I decided to go for what I truly feel passionate about: Game Design

So I am now trying to apply for Universities which have specialised courses for game design.

I've got my groove again, learnt to live again.
Learning C# now.
It's been a long hello, and If you've reached till here somehow, then damn, you the MVP.

  • 3
    Hello and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. You can become a perfectly good coder and game designer without going through tertiary education. Not everyone likes working under those conditions and, in my opinion, you don't need to put yourself through that stress again. Look for junior opportunities and online courses, learn at your pace and enjoy your journey. All the best!
  • 1
    fuck yeah, you're doing it now. that's all that counts.
  • 1
    Love your story, although you went to a bad place. I'm jealous that you already after 2 years and a bit you recognised and acknowledged your situation. Happy you did and found your passion. Good luck getting through game dev school (wherever that may be) and rant on! 🤬
  • 1
    > be me
    > be bad at math
    > go to uni
    > just want to do programming but have to do all this other shit
    > flunk math bits super hard
    > too proud / ashamed to get help
    > relationship breaks down
    > fall into depression
    > suicide attempt
    > jump on next train home and don’t look back

    I dropped out. I’ve done ok.

    Admittedly my mental health has been an ongoing challenge and has ultimately cost me every job in the end, but it’s been an amazing journey and I’ve never really had trouble finding work for too long.

    Sorry to hear you had this all happen to you. But you’ll be fine 👍

    Fuck that bit of paper anyway.
  • 1
    @Brolls hey buddy, I feel you. Stay strong and keep living it your way. :)
  • 0
    @eeee Thanks man 🙂
  • 0
    @ymas Learning, I'm doing just that.
    Thanks for the kind words 🙂
  • 1
    @balte Oh yeah!
    I'm learning the things that count rather than counting the things I learn, for a change.
  • 0
    @RantSomeWhere thank you!
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