Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.

Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"

CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"

Me: "Uh... so?"

CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"

Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"

Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.

CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"

Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"

Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"

CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"

Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"

  • 35
    "With honey please"
  • 13
    Did this really happen?
  • 77
    @emyu10 Yes. My harsh attitude and slightly sociopathic brand of humor is both the reason *my* boss sends me to handle tough breakups, and part of how I got my nickname.
  • 9
    i smell jail time
  • 28
    @bujawe Unlikely, but we are starting a case against them so they have to delete all data they received from us, and they might receive a fine from the privacy watchdog.

    I'm paying a security group to pentest them every two weeks as well, just as a courtesy to chase them in the right direction. 😂
  • 4
    @bittersweet good for them that you are steering them to the right direction. in my country, aside from fines, you could actually get jail time if you are responsible for any PII data breach/leak
  • 20
    I got torn to shreds for calling out a partner company’s CEO for bullshit.

    The problem is that they all read The Lean Startup and treat it like a religious text, that is, they pick the bits they like and ignore the rest.

    The number of places I’ve been that have treated their MVP as the final product and have been wholly slapdash about security is staggering.

    The whole “we only do x, so it’s not sensitive data” mantra is repeated so often. They tend to forget that if we breach a password, there’s a good chance that password is used elsewhere with the same email address.

    Drives me up the fucking wall.

    But alas, devs just want their pay check, so few have any power / any motivation / have been beaten down into submission.
  • 5
    With a side dish of irony pls thx
  • 5
    I consult for a large company that has this same motto and they are trying to use the Netflix stack to build their death star as well. It's hell.
  • 4
    @bittersweet Amazing 💛
  • 1
    @Bitwise At several hundred per hour, it makes me want to go into computer security. 😉
  • 5
    Keep being awesome in a day and age were many people shove the right to privacy under the carpet or try to invalidate it because 'we don't have anything to hide anyways' 👊
  • 1
    Third level burn injuries lol
  • 1
    Love it lol.
  • 1
    Doop !!
  • 1
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