life is a series of

"fuck it's so bad"

and

"well this is easy compared to what I just went through, pish posh"

and then you're high on your high horse

and then you realize just how damned bad things can be. it's damned nuts. you would've never imagined.

and how are you still alive then?

remember when every day wasn't a struggle against not being dead? I guess eventually you get so close to death you don't get to surf out of that one final wave successfully

and on we go: https://youtu.be/8nuvfiJJnWY

... wow can't even have YouTube find songs I have full titles for now. tech just keeps getting worse. how can I emo out like this, when the emo'ing spawns more emo'ing before I can finish my prior emo'ing?! AHHH!