I am looking for a job, does any one needs a ceo or a consultant? I can be helpful. I have experience of four failed projects, two were of my own and have experience of one successful one.

Hey I have a project I can hire you for! I can't pay you though. Our budget is 100$ monthly which will go towards the server costs. We are looking for individuals who would love to work for exposure. We can offer you 7% of our 0$ stocks.

@uziiuzair thanks, plz shoot me a mail at rookiemaverick@gmail.com it is my unofficial email id. I will pass on my official email id later. also one more thing, if the idea will be marketable we can come to some compromise. by the way I like it the way u put 7%for 0 $ ;)

@rookiemaverick great! You can expect an email from mysupercoolidea@gmail.com. Although you're hired, you pass in your CV as formality so that other people think we're legit.

Also we try to practice a more relaxed and flexible schedule so you can work when ever you feel like. As work load increases we might burden you with work, after all you work for us now! ;)

@uziiuzair perfect. I will wait for the email.

@uziiuzair I forgot to say thanks. thanks.

How cheerful this conversation is :) felt so good ..keep us posted about things ! cheers guys ..good luck !!

@Vikram do you want a job? I have an unpaid for-exposure job.

@Vikram not to forget with 5% stock in my company. Since 7% was offered to the CEO.

@uziiuzair If you are serious then thanks for the offer ! I am an Angular Js lover..you can get overview of my skills here
https://ngcoderscope.wordpress.com/

Hey dude, if you're giving jobs away... email me "yolocowboycoder@gmail.com"

I'm more of an 'ideas guy'. My coding is mostly in HTML with some CSS, but I prefer inline CSS.

Being more of a 'creative type' I'd much rather manage people and give/critique ideas. I'm a big picture guy really.

I also have a ton of great ideas for apps which I can let you in on.

@Ratwerks BwahAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

because I read it ironically.

@Ratwerks brilliant! I was looking for someone like you. You can expect an email from the above mentioned email.

Here are some basic things you will have to do.
We do a lot a back end coding. You will need to code it in PHP and MySQL, but due to the heavy work load I will like you to recode our entire back end to HTML. We are very flexible with deadlines as long as each task is completed between 42 hours and 33 minutes.

A lot of our work requires Image Processing. We use PNG for all image format. For added security, we do not use any 3rd party image creation software,so you will have to code all PNG files in CSS3.

As I have already given out the stocks above, we will start you off with 4% stocks.

Seriously, who in this thread is being ironic and who is not?! 😱
I'm laughing my behind off here, but I am afraid to insult someone...

@siljamicke my head hunter did some research on your online presence. How are your database skills?

@uziiuzair I don't use databases. I send myself an email if I need to remember something.

@siljamicke according to your devRant profile, you are open to learning new skills. We are willing to offer you a position on our development team. You will be provided a Tuts Plus subscription for all your developer needs. Needless to say, you will fit well in our team.

@uziiuzair ok but now I do want to work with you!

@siljamicke awesome! You can contact me via my website, www.uziiuzair.com
I work on many many projects, I'm sure We will be able to work on something together 😁

@uziiuzair Ah ur the dude with the awesome website. Saw it yesterday!

@siljamicke yas I'm the dude with the insanely simple website. Haha

@uziiuzair haha, I checked out my "online presence" and I'm baffled you'd offer me a job. According to Internet I've managed to not manage to install OpenGl, and shown with force that I don't know how to use batteries 😂

@siljamicke these are all learning experiences. You fail once, then you fail again, one day you will succeed hahahaha

@uziiuzair email?

@uziiuzair true dat! So far I've mastered AA batteries 😎

@rookiemaverick business@uziiuzair.com

@siljamicke brilliant! You'll do great things 🤓