Lets all help them share their startup

True or not? ;)

When your Boss is a programmer & humorous at the same time... :/

Startup tip...

Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

Pistols are handy

"Can you hang these flyers around you uni?"

(The flyers were advertising the position I was being interviewed for...)

Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0

Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.

Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.

Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.

Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!

Naturally, I escalate the issue.

Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.

Day 34

I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.

Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.

Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.

Wow, I now officially own a company.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

My startup actually made the first place in an accelerator program! We'll start negotiations on Monday!! I'm so fucking excited!

Plus I met a really nice person on the train on my way back home! What the actual fuck is that a nice day!

Things used to be simple🤔

Startups are like JS frameworks.

The more you encounter, the more you realize how useless 90% of them are.

Advice for a Startup

Dev: Hey, do we have a Google cloud machine running?
Me: No we have AWS remember?

Dev: Okay..
Me: Why do you want a gCloud?

Dev: I had this large stack of files and want to put them somewhere, off of my laptop. I just feel comfortable using Google than AWS.
Me: Umm.. there is Dropbox for that sort of stuff. Not high performance servers running our services.

Dev: ...
Dev: (After a moment) Yeah, why didn't I think of that? :/

Me: Seriously???

I think he forgot to have breakfast today.

Epic 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"

Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."

Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"

Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"

Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"

Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"

I wonder someone ever did that!!!

Great use of startup... 😂😂

Wannabe entrepreneurs approach for building their app.

Them: So you're familiar with Android?

Me: Yes but it's been a while, will take some time though.

Them: Not a problem.

Me: So shall we talk about the payment?

Them: Yeah, about that.. Listen, we don't have any funding now but we're sure this idea will be a hit and take off, then later we can pay you.

Me: Ok

*Gets up and leaves*

---- Startup RantLife ----

A senior developer joined the team, let's name him Bob, and this guy is really good no doubts about that.
He made suggestions, some improvements, but Bob is always waving his hands and says out loud that some part of the code base is really really bad.
I kept quiet until one day I had to pair with Bob to check a feature. Guess what happened, as usual, Bob clenched his fist and start pointing that this code is super ugly.
So let's check the history of changes and boom, Bob was the main writer.
That moment, I was completely silent, trying not to smile as Bob came up with an excuse, he never admits that he is wrong, now he needs a scapegoat and he starts blaming the process, the planning...
I believe that being humble and saying sorry is a quality that it requires time to develop.
So don't be like Bob, please :)

I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).

So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
"One Thousand".

I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.

If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.

First rant here. Long, but please bear with me:

So after slogging my ass off in various early stage startups for over 4 years and keeping up with the almost non-existent development process, I joined an organisation which has some of the brightest and smartest minds I have had the pleasure to work with.

Mind you, this company is the market leader in it's field and has a 50+ people in it's tech team and the quality of work is pretty impressive.

Now for this week's sprint, I was asked to develop a feature which already exists on the Android app and they want to introduce in the iOS app too. The backend APIs are all in place and all I need to do is build it with virtually no dependency. My PM asks me to start with the UI and ask the backend dev for the API list whenever I need them.This is where the story turns.

For my first API, I go to the backend dev and ask him to share the API documentation and he looks at me as if I have asked him to dance the fucking cha cha. With a straight face he tells me that, 'The organisation doesn't maintain any kind of documentation for it's APIs.' Now this really shocks me. Even in a 5 men tech teams I have worked on, we have always maintained a spec doc for the APIs and this is a company which is known for it's tech practices.

Being the new guy I compose myself and ask if they have anything for me here: Postman collection, a workflowy doc, a goddamn txt file; anything which might help me, and he laughs at my dilusion and says no.

Dejected, I ask for a way to get the APIs and I am told that there are only two ways: either I keep bothering the Android dev for the APIs(No, I don't have the access to the android repo and nor am I gonna get it) which he had worked on 4 months back or I install the prod app on my phone, and use Charles to get every fucking API which is really, really annoying.

I thought writing out this rant would make me feel better, turns out it just made me angrier. Why the fuck can't they document such an important thing!?

My 2 friends and me just started a company!!! I feel so excited, because I'm 17 and get to learn how to start a company, I always had that dream to be part of startup. My position is backend developer and db engineer working in apache and python for API's and MySQL for database. 😁😁😁😁😁

Coming up with a name for my company just makes me want to become a stripper instead

we all do!

Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.

They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.

I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.

Startup job descriptions

Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢

When you have an awesome startup idea and it's not even close to being in the market, it feels good man

I was offered to work for a startup in August last year. It required building an online platform with video calling capabilities.
I told them it would be on learn and implement basis as I didn't know a lot of the web tech. Learnt all of it and kept implementing side by side.
I was promised a share in the company at formation, but wasn't given the same at the time of formation because of some issues in documents.
Yes, I did delay at times on the delivery date of features on the product. It was my first web app, with no prior experience. I did the entire stack myself from handling servers, domains to the entire front end. All of it was done alone by me.
Later, I also did install a proxy server to expand the platform to a forum on a new server.
And yesterday after a month of no communication from their side, I was told they are scraping the old site for a new one. As I had all the credentials of the servers except the domain registration control, they transferred the domain to a new registrar and pointed it to a new server. I have a last meeting with them. I have decided to never work with them and I know they aren't going to provide me my share as promised.
I'm still in the 3rd year of my college here in India. I flunked two subjects last semester, for the first time in my life. And for 8 months of work, this is the end result of it by being scammed. I love fitness, but my love for this is more and so I did leave all fitness activities for the time. All that work day and night got me nothing of what I expected.
Though, they don't have any of my code or credentials to the server or their user base, they got the new website up very fast.
I had no contract with them. Just did work on the basis of trust. A lesson learnt for sure.
Although, I did learn to create websites completely all alone and I can do that for anyone. I'm happy that I have those skills now.
Since, they are still in the start up phase and they don't have a lot of clients, I'm planning to partner with a trusted person and release my code with a different design and branding. The same idea basically. How does that sound to you guys?

I learned that:
. No matter what happens, never ignore your health for anybody or any reason.
. Never trust in business without a solid security.
. Web is fun.
. Self-learning is the best form of learning.
. Take business as business, don't let anyone cheat you.

So, Microsoft has this Awesome co-working space in Finland
With free coffee etc
I just recently co-founded a game startup (GeneReal)
I came here ok Saturday at around midday, I am still here, I have not been home since, I'm not being held hostage or anything, I just didn't want to waste time on commute
I have been working like from 9 AM to 5 AM (YES AM) and slept for few hours on a sofa or a fluffy carpet with decoration pillows
Worth it: our proof-of-concept video had just crossed 4k likes on Twitter
Now, I just hope we can finish our demo in time
In time means today, tomorrow we have meeting with potential investor
And the piece of shit code I wrote is not cooperating
FUCK, I WANT MY SLEEP BACK
BUT I DONT WANT TO GO HOME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?
well, at least I have been able to compensate with unlimited free coffee and eyedrops, also, having gaming 👓 with blue light filter helps

I am leaving my job from a very big company with very high paying package for doing my own startup.
1 month notice period on.

Having to argue with team members inside my head.

I have a one-man startup, so I have all these imaginary team members who specialise in different things so that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing for that day.
But it seems my developer side of me hates the manager and UX designer these days for making changes half way through the project.

Oh yeah, and my accountant side thinks I'm spending too much. Fuck you, I needed that money.

Real truth... 🤔🤔🤔

1) Starts a company that builds cloud systems
2) Takes a bunch of jobs and thought you'll be happy for a while
3) IoT era smashes in your face
4) 72% of your existing clients ask for IoT revamp
5) With a lot of hacking you made a small portion of the projects possible with some Raspberry Pis
6) Client bought a bunch of arbitrary parts from Shenzhen and now you have to deal with kernel overlays and shits that you didn't even heard of
7) Made it work for the second time and told yourself it'll never happen again
8) Last customer happy so they tell a bunch of friends and now they're asking for more
9) Stares into void, wondering how you gonna end this nightmare

Fuck those who cover their incompetence with complexity. Fuck those who fall for their shitty tricks. Fuck you for depriving me of any sense of accomplishment with overcomplicating everything to show how smart you are when you are not. Fuck you for creating a culture of overthinking egoism instead of shipping and finding out who was right. FUCK YOU IN THE ASS YOU BIKESHEDDING, MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!

My workstation at incubation center, where i am currently incubated.
Finally got multi-screen desktop. Though monitors are prone to theft by other teams

bNEST, Bhopal

PS - Laptop is for gaming

"Like Uber fo-"

let me stop you right there, I'm leaving

A few interview tips from the other side of the table:

1. Bring a laptop

I mean come up man! Bring a laptop. Especially if there was some kind of project or challenge to present. I have seen so many people do a big UI design presentation and then come in like “can I use your laptop???”. Of course you can, but your looking very unprepared.

2. Ask for clarification

Communication problems happen in business every day. Different cultures and accents can cause issues. The important part isn’t wether you understand everything said but that you ask enough questions to make sure you eventually understand. Most people just wrongly assume things and start rambling.

3. Know what kind of company you and talking to

In my case, this is a startup. We aren’t IBM or Amazon or Google. We work hard and we play hard. Work life balance is important in life but if your very first question is “work/life balance???” then you played yourself. Wait a bit, pepper it in on the sly. Just don’t ask it right away, it shows us that you aren’t ready to work harder than usual if needed. Maybe try “so how do you like working here? How are the people, hours etc?” Or something besides the first question being a bad signal.

Just some random tips for an interviewer.

From me to you, don’t make me have to tell you like DJ Khalid would ...

Congratulations, you played yourself.

When you and your dev co-founder pitch your startup idea to an angel investor.

After working over 14 years as it-systemadministrator and developer for a city government I finally quit today and switched into a start-up. Lower wage, vacation days and many more "downsides"...but I am allowed to follow my passion and create something that matters. I'm afraid and super jacked. Wish me luck :)

tl;dr quit job to get complete expression. afraid and jacked at once :)

Windows startup sound.

When you read a CV and it states "I am an entrepreneur and have run various startup websites". Experience "Junior Developer... Developer... CTO... Developer" WTF!

No. No. No. You have had personal projects/a blog which is not a startup and does not make you an entrepreneur.

CV goes to trash pile.

ok its time! im ready to move forward,
i will move my sacred projects from github.

Projects
"Hello world" react
"Hello world" angular
"Hello world" vue
"Hello world" node express
"Hello ..
.
.
.

Me in 2018 : I'll code xLearno.com all on my own!
.
.
.
Me in 2019 : xLearno.com is a team of 5 🎉
.
.
.
Just a quick lesson that I learned in my entrepreneurship career, "You want to go fast, go alone! You want to go far, go together 😍"

The last startup I worked at didn't give us the WiFi password because they "didn't want people to get distracted by unnecessarily using internet on their phones". Little did they know that making a hotspot from a laptop is totally a thing...

This startup I started working for with their shitty code base written by interns, restrictive sys admin who had no actual use in the company since I was the one setting up their servers, know-it-all CEO, stupid HR representative who used to grill employees for being 10 minutes late in the morning, very small apartment "HQ", using fingerprints to signal our entry and our leave to and from the office, no formal process, and, to top it all, monitoring our own laptops which we use for work with a software that takes screenshots every few minutes. In short, it had the worst in corporates with the worst of startups combined in one company.

If, hypothetically, we could overlook all this, I couldn't overlook the horrible smell this place had. The apartment was overlooking a small garden which was a home for many stray cats and dogs. You can imagine how horrible this smell was. The weird thing was that no one there seemed to really care about the smell!!

I lasted there for only one week before I gave my resignation and I believe I had every right to do so.

I attended a data science meetup recently. There were many suits walking around the corridors because of some startup night taking place at the same time.

After some time a guy appeared infront of me, telling me he was afraid at first that this was a meetup for suits only. Until he saw all the dev and rock stickers on my notebook. He was reliefed that there was some nerd at least.

He asked what I was doing so I told him about my startup about optimization of heat generation plants jada jada. I asked him back.

He replied, "Well, I'm also part of some small startup. Among the things we develop processors and stuff. It's called Intel."

Well dude, that was nicely played. I had a lot of fun that evening.

I see all these tools for the past few years claiming...

"build an app without writing code"

Great, if you want to build a prototype and then try to find a technical co-founder who can actually build something.

Otherwise, none of us need another shitty cookie-cutter app.

There is a 0% chance you can build anything that will scale without writing some code. Your best case scenario is you sell it to some sucker who doesn't understand that what they are buying is garbage.

I give those folks 3 options...

1. Find a technical co-founder
2. Learn to build software
3. Fuck off

Thinking you can build a software company without building actual quality software if fucking moronic.

Of course, that won't stop the thousands of business grads each year from trying and saying...

"I have such a great idea, I just need someone to build it"

Let's get things straight. You have nothing. NOTHING! You idea is worthless without execution.

A few years ago I had a startup. I invited 2 friends to join and we split the ownership equally. I did most the work but didn't mind. I had fun. Anyway, the story is not about me. I was in a startup incubator.
There was this stereotypical rich kid in the incubator too.
For the first few months he refused to even share what his idea was.
Finally he was forced to do it. It was an app for storing gift cards. Literally, there were startups for some high tech phd genious types. But the guy with the idea of a gift card app didn't want to share in fear that we would steal his mediocre idea.
His idea was to digitalize physical gift cards without the consent of the companies and make a market for selling, buying and trading (and taking a fee). When asked what if the companies refuse to accept the unofficial digital gift card, he said he had talked to a lawyer that they should accept it or he would sue them. Wow.
There was a guy who had attempted at doing an app like that 2 years before too apparently.
So here comes the part about the work culture.
He convinced 3 or 4 computer science students to develop the app for him. He offered them 1%, no pay. Talking about how rich they would get and how big it would be.
Luckily, one of the developers came to his senses after a few weeks and convinced the others that they were worth much more.
The guy was furious and even threatened to sue them.
He even got like 2-3k USD from some of his parents rich friends to develop the app. He could afford to pay them.
Anyway, the app was never completed.

I have many stories like that from other startups. A lot of students getting ripped off to work for free. I know people who have startups going for years thanks to free labor.

How to make your employee suffer, drive them insane and having suicide tendency 101.

Delay the paycheck for 18 days but still asking about task progress like a normal day. Like nothing happened.

I can't pay water and electricity bills that due in 3 days, can't buy medicine,
can't buy gas for the bike,
next week i'm not gonna be able to buy food

The good thing is, i still got the internet, i can look for new jobs and play some games to forget how shit my life right now while the electricity lasts.

Disclaimer
I have no suicide tendency, just to make it more hiperbolic 🤣

Colleague asked me to join devRant and I was like that is it something related to development.
But when he said NO its nice and sharing about your seniors and managers. I was like that oh I need to write so much then......
Coming with expereince in first startup as employee.
Post #1

Once a CEO is 24*7 a CEO. For me it's Chief Experiment Officer

And only dreamers can have that title. One who dreams at night and work it out the following day.
Having a startup is much more than just having an idea
It's about revenue,
It's about value,
It's about team,
It's about impact,
It's about growth,
It's about compliance,
It's about being finance, marketing, HR and tech expert at the same time.
It's about respect the supporters,
At the end it's about the money you earn as an individual.
For playing all the above roles, you need to dream real big.

To me startup is about falling in love with your work first.

-
By an Indian CEO

Shamelessly ripped off of /r/programmerhumor

As someone that's been a part of a number of startups also 100% accurate

Why does a big company only look at your diploma and a startup only look at your github ?

After months and months of slaving away, I quit my start-up job and feel completely amazing- here's what happened:

Met a classmate in grad school and he talked about starting his own company and he had full funding and etc. After graduation, moved to the new city where the job was located.

There were all these promises of us being co-workers and working on cool things and many other promises made. Soon after starting the job, most of these promises we're just smoke and mirrors.

Started working day in day out. Worked from 8am-9pm most days and worked on weekends too. Treated me like a I was a dog, talked down to me, gave unrealistic deadlines, pressured me with attitude and threats of losing my job. Hell, they thought they were the smartest person to touch the earth basically- example being that they mixed jQuery with VueJS in our Django template.....who the F*** does that. Another thing being that they had issues with me soft deleting records since they wanted them completely hard deleted and we had gotten into a giant argument about that fml.

What led to me leaving the job was that I had gotten sick one of the weeks, and I still showed up to work. Each day I was gradually getting sicker and sicker. Still tried my best to get work done. Saturday morning I get the most passive aggressive and bitchy text from my co-worker. "if you don't complete blah blah blah by Monday, we are going to have issues. Then on Monday you will work on blah blah blah". They blew the fuse with me. They would always punish me for being sick or taking a vacation. I'm not a dog, not a machine, I'm a f****** person. Went into his office when the work week started and gave my resignation on the spot and felt like it was the best decision I've ever made.

Now I just feel like a giant toxic cloud has disappeared from my life. I did walk away with so much experience and knowledge but now I just feel extremely burnt out from programming. Is this what I even wanna do anymore?

Few lessons I learned along the way:
1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
2. Free lunches aren't worth it
3. Unlimited PTO doesn't really mean unlimited- there's always stipulations
4. Start-up life isnt as cool as they say- don't take TV portrayals as the real thing
5. Your mental health is extremely important
6. It's okay to admit to yourself that you're burnt out
7. Take a break
8. STARTUPS ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE

This is just my experience and what I learned, so telling my story. Phew, feels so good to get that off my chest

There's this TV show called Startup. The protagonist "hacker" tells a guy to go learn JavaScript. And then they show him learning Java. If noobs make this mistake, I get it. But a TV show that's featuring a "hacker" who can create crypto currency and dark web sites? WTF?

The startup life culture is probably killing a lot of talent and taking away peace of mind.

Everything is needed
- too fast
- to work well

Forcing people to compromise on personal life and health.

It also takes away the interest to work on something as an interesting problem and makes it feel like "just another job to get finished".

Dear recruiters and so called "startups".

If you want to attract me by starting with the phrase: "Mobile lead role in Startup" and you go on like...

"We are a startup with offices in Shanghai, Hongkong, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York,... "

or

"We are a startup and also the 6th biggest phone network in the world... "

No thanks, enjoy your startup themed cubicles and fuck off!

I'm Waiting!!!!!

For Startup's 🙇🙇

Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound

*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*

Me: Uh huh...

Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie

Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!

Badass: playing Exploding Kittens NSFW edition... at work.

Got hired as a junior front end developer.
1 year later I am main java developer for two big projects.

Fuckery galore ladies and gents!

What a developer does on friday evening, when he sees that his manager is in a meeting.

!rant

GRUB_INIT_TUNE="288 880 1 0 1 880 1 0 1 880 1 698 1 1046 1"

Pokemon healing tune.

Been away from devrant for almost 8 months, and all these months the app was sitting idle on my phone.

Now, since I am part of industry and have a terrible boss, I am back to throw some anger

I rant a lot about my old job and learned a lot about horrible management. Honestly, it was just one disappointment after another.

Let's observe the fact that the CEO, COO, and the newly hired CTO are all friends. Nepotism at its finest.

When re-designing the Front-End and planning new features with a hired agency, should we include the developers familiar with the current stack in the sprint?

I guess not.

When having "secret meetings" about rebranding the company, should the Marketing Manager be informed?

I guess not.

Now, I know there are mixed feelings about this, but the truth is, we have three unqualified individuals in management positions who clearly did not have the best interests and personal growth of their employees in this 14-person start-up at heart.

All of the employees have skills and experience which could easily be applicable to larger companies with better pay and benefits. But we chose to work for a small start-up because we wanted to have our voices heard and make a difference in the growth of company. When you take that liberty away, then what's the point of even working there anymore?

During my 7-months there, 9 people had resigned, including myself and the marketing manager. Should this be a red flag?

I hope so.

Got the job!

"We prefer anonymity so you can't tell the interwebs."

Wut?

flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...

...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck

I'm a front end intern and for nearly 9 months I've done almost exclusively CSS because that's the only thing my startup company really needed. I'm dying inside.

Once I've worked in a start-up located in an engineering university "incubator", so we had a lot of engineer-to-be students applying for part-time jobs.
One of these kids was hired by my boss who labeled him "highly technical, very skilled in IT".

One day, while very busy with my own upcoming release, I had to help him finding a bug in his (horrible) code.

Me: Oh, that's easy, you need to load the image from the parent directory
Guy: ...
Me: You know how to do this, right? You're 1 exam away from being a computer engineer
Guy: ...
Me: Ok, ok, don't worry. Just type "../" right before the path

The guy starts typing, literally, "dotdotslash" into the path.

I immediately stopped him, almost crying. Then, I asked him to go for a walk.
"Don't mind about your bug, I'll take care"

During resignation discussion with delivery manager at my previous organisation, he told me that I should join a start up. (I was planning to do that, and he knew somehow.)

He warned me in weird concerning way that if I join a start up, I will always be in stress. I will have high BP. And sperm count will reduce. I might never be able to produce child. And similar scary stuff.

Weird bald dude scared me for second there.

PS - I did join the start up and my BP is fine and so is my sperm count.

feeling motivated..... small beginnings... baby steps :-)

Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.

The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay

Got my first round funding yay!

Venture capitalists be like

These people in Startups

Create a company that auto likes posts on dev-rant. Startup

I get a call where someone wants to start a startup, says since it's his idea he gets 50% and he will wait for me to finish the whole thing on my own expecting me to work for free 🙂

Me: we need to seriously consider refactoring our backend have it more loosely coupled for a more robust product and quicker development times.

CEO: But I just don't see the value in this I just don't.

Me: *tries to reason*

CEO: *rants about our current short term shit*

VP of software: we should really consider this.

CEO: No it would cost us too much time focus on reality.

Me and VP: *Scheme to further my goals and force our team onto CircleCI*

Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂

Secret of success...

#Startup

I left a well paid job with a very good pension plan for an exciting startup job. Whats wrong with us developers ;)

"Who needs a staging server, test suites and continuous integration anyways haha"
-company i just joined

Well crap, i need to make a website for this one startup, but im only a backend developer and even more a pentester
I have less graphic skills than a exploding can of paint

No way can i make the site by just writing code, i NEED graphical tools that help generate the frontend side of things/ drag and drop

Why did i offer to do this...
And for no money may i add

My family thinks than I can do Uber (eats), Facebook and WhatsApp but better. And than I'm lazy because I don't build those "obvious" business opportunities.

BTW I'm mostly web dev, sometimes mobile dev on a small company.

Friend of mine: so I wonder how do you test your applications in the startup?

Me: testing? *grabs his coffee laughing*

Actually we have a complete build pipeline from commit/pull-request to dev and production environments. No tests. Really. We are in rapid product development / research state.

We change technologies and approaches like our underwear (and yeah, this is frequently). If we settled some day and understood the basic problems of the whole feature palette, we'll talk about tests again.

People fucking think that working for a fucking startup is a fucking cake walk. Every person making 6 figure salaries but no one fucking wants to put in an effort to work slightly harder! Show up at 10 and leave a 4 and yeah v'll get funded. And the worst fucking part is no one wants to check something as simple as fucking work emails after work! Fucking get your acts together or just walk the fuck out the door.

I know work life balance is important but don't expect that when you know the company is treading harsh waters and needs everyone to get their shit together so we get funded!

Linux used to be primarily for developers.

But with most software people use becoming browser based (mail, slack, chat, docs, drive etc.) and with Ubuntu UI becoming progressively more user friendly, most lay people can now comfortably switch over to Linux.

Especially for startups for whom Windows licenses feel expensive. Our startup did the same.

A couple days ago, I went through the most embarrassing interview ever. It was a startup into both hardware and software merged over image processing. I really wanted it. Really really did. It was telephonic, and involved a little bit coding over docs. In the one hour we talked over the phone, he asked me about 30 questions. I hadn't even heard of the words he said! Ive never delved into compilers, lower level things, and memory management. I could answer about 5 questions- including the tell me about yourself question.

So thats about 25 ways I came up with of saying "I don't know" in a span of 60 minutes.

I fucking hate non-technical founders looking down on the tech team as if it we're dispensable, and as a result, undervalue us in terms of money and equity.

Anyone got any ideas on dealing with crippling depression, loneliness, a potential breakup, and managing a startup alomg side it?

Tried to do a startup for a year, did not make loss but did not get the funding to keep going. Now going back to previous company and taking up the old job. 😔

So now that the topic is up - just recently set this up!

A sign in front of startup office:
Do not feed the developers! We keep them on a soylent diet - eating real food might make them question their life choices.

Startup company: "We love competing with each other! We (the sales team) play pranks and pass each other mini footballs! Mandatory team social nights (No we won't pay you for it)!

Me, a typical introverted dev: "HISSSSSSSSSSS, away, away!"

What's with these sales people making software companies reminiscent of 1980s Wall Street trading floors?

Long long ago, I had a dream to start a startup.

Till today I'm not able to find an idea.

Then, I realized ideas cannot be forced. They come when they come.

Every 2019 tech startup: We do deep machine learning with big data in the cloud.
Investors: Please take our money!

Fuck man.. very disappointed now.. 3 months ago i was told not to worry about funding and salary and all, now fucking still waiting for half salary.. fuck startup like this

After getting a fund for my startup company as a PHP Developer, they changed the app to Django and fired all the Technology team. (O_o)

Wrote a library that helped the start up I was working for solve a major issue and get funded

Just wanna to share my story:

I just quit my job 2 months ago to ramp up my own startup. I will be funded with 2k Euro per month for 1 year to prepare the founding of my startup. Basicly that means i got one year to build backend/frontend/app. I have a friend that is doing some nontech related stuff like business development and shit. Sounds good until now i guess.
But:
Developing all that stuff in a one man show as a junior-like developer is really hard. I did not find another dev who wanted to join me as a sideproject or something.

Do you guys think thats even possible to ramp up all this by myself or am i to optimistic? I mean, i learn a lot atm, but i am a bit scared to fail too.

That should not be whining or shit, just gathering some input of you guys.

(excuse typos and stuff as i am not a native speaker :) )

Joined a new company....the code is a fucking mess..so much technical debt......

Found good startup idea, thinking about it few days and almost planning, one day i searched similar products from google and found exactly my product

Building a startup is a marathon not a sprint. Who agrees?

If your startups CEO is the major stakeholder, that’s great.

If your CEO is the major bottleneck, that’s a problem.

Don’t handcuff your employees. Instead enable them to work efficiently and effectively.

Mistakes by startup...

Building the next big thing

The cool little startup that hired you right out of college/university, that promised your work will be recognized and well compensated?

Well, they'll end up complaining on why you don't work more than 60 hours a week on shit pay, force you to work at the "office" (read here one of the partner's basement), and retain your vacation pay from your last paycheck. That's not cool and also illegal here.

It's been 10 years and it still infuriates me when I think about it.

Stories from a Startup #1

CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.

After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...

"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"

Startup

Invent a startup:

"It's like <existing company> but for <target audience>"

ex: It's like Uber but for dogs.

Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.

Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.

We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.

I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."

We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!

Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.

I got a dayjob in a company. I got an error. I cannot solve it and I am so desperate. So I go to stackoverflow, nobody answers. I post on git issue, but nobody solves the problem. So, I pay someone to solve it, like Hackhands.com to find a mentor. There is no mentor that can help. So I pay more, hired a peer, and finally a development team just to help me. They get paid only if they solved it.

But each of my folks repeat my same steps, asking on stackoverflows or github, and none of these help. So, they end up hiring their own friends and mentors. Their friends also end up paying (pay before problem solved) someone to help them.

their friends pay for friends of friends, then friends of friends of friends

And all of a sudden it becomes a giant MLM scheme.

And those people they paid for actually work for a company behind the scene which I am a founder of 😁

Multi billions startup idea, is it?

So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.

I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.

He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.

Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.

We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.

Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.

Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.

Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.

The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.

It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.

Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.

I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...

Startup rant ---

John and Bob joined a startup at the same day but they were in two different offices.

John joined the US office while Bob joined the European office (let's not share the country here ;) )
Both of them worked really hard, they worked longer hours, showed result and helped the startup to reach and get Serie A funds.

That seems good no? But let's step back, John was promoted twice and get more perks while Bob got only a salary raise that aligned him with the current market.

There are different reasons for this but the most important one is that the company is having two different cultures for the two offices.

What's funny here is that Bob effort is well known across the two offices and his contribution has made a huge difference to the company but unfortunately he wasn't rewarded for it.

So Bob opened a new window not in his office but in his browser to find better opportunities.

Just got the first payment from the first client we approached. And we are charging a lot less upfront money, compared to how much time we spent on customization, since it is the first client. Though, today we just got 25% of upfront money we will be charging. And we are still into development phase. Also he will be paying money every month for our service to continue.

The first ever earning of my life. The wheel had started rolling today

PS - Money don't excite me much, and infact I am not much excited right now. Still thinking about the project.

We founded a 3 man startup.
I am on holiday for two weeks and my mates paid 50k to someone so he programs a prototype app without any specifications. They told him about what the app should display without any mockups or images via Skype. Returned Monday, found out about it, and on the following Monday we will see the current status..
Oh boy, dog help me. I expect a clickdummy made with Adobesomething, and we paid 50k for that. Why didn't they wait for 2 weeks?!

My own startup 🤞🏻

Seriously???

!rant

Is it a bad thing if you are very dearly attached to your job/company?

Makes it extremely hard to move on

We have a course in our uni where we're given a client and are supposed to make a product for him.
> Only, our client happens to be a startup guy.
> He's already mentioned that his app is worth 'multi-millions' countless times.
> And has already given us a job offer in his startup.
> And has offered to pitch the app to investors if we do it right and split the profit (He seemed almost convinced Google would acquire it).

All of it before doing any market research, testing, business planning or prototyping himself.
Yet people ask me why i hate on the hyped up startup ecosystem smh :/

When you wanna lunch a product and all domains with good names are taken; and when you find a good domain, the twitter handle is taken by an egg!!

Tech illiterate partner in startup: "We need a password to add your social media profile because people are misspelling their names and now im getting someone i dont know when I click the link"

Me:
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... how about... idk.. not misspelling your username or just edit it...

How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.

Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.

Where to look for an UI/UX person?

Backstory: I currently work at a small startup. So far our website is just a bootstrap theme, slaped together by myself, so you could say, it's far from optimal. Especially on mobile devices.

Where would you guys look for a UI/UX person? Probably on a freelance basis. Did you have good expiriences in the past with a particular site/service?

I don't know what you did yesterday, but i did make my company throw away 2 months of progress.
It all started in the beginning, since that i've made numerous complaints about the workflow or code and how to improve it. I've been told off every time, and every time i either told the boss who agreed in the end or wrote code to prove myself. Everything was a hassle and my tasks weren't better.
Team lead: you'll do X now, please do that by making Y.
Me: but Y is insecure, we should do Z.
Team lead: please do Y
Later it turns out Y is impossible and we do Z in the end...
Team lead: please do W now
Me, a few days later: i've tried and their server doesn't give http cors headers, doing W in the browser is impossible
Team lead, a few days later: have you made progress on W?
Me: * tells again it's impossible and uploads code to prove it *
Team lead: * no response *

After that i had enough. Technically i still was assigned to do W, but i used my time to look over the application and list all the things wrong with it. We had everything, giant commits, commented out code, unnecessary packages, a new commit introduced packages that crashed npm install on non-macs, angularjs-packages even though we use angular, weird logic, a security bug, all css in one file even though you can use component-specific css files...

I sent that to my boss, telling him to let the backend-guys have a look at it too and we had a meeting about this. I couldn't attend but they agreed with me completely. They decided to throw away what we have already and to let one of the backend-guys supervise our team. I guess there will be another talk with the team lead, but time will tell.
It feels so good having hope to finally escape this hellish development cycle of badly defined task, bad communication and headache-inducing merges.

When you go out for lunch and interns from other companies dress better than you do #ctoproblems

I'm very tired of these impossible deadlines, it feels like as soon as one project finish, we have to rush to finish the other.
I should take some holidays.

#Startup #Funding

Who else hates hackerrank coding challenges?

That job you thought you may not be a good fit, you end up at.

Sometimes as developers we doubt ourselves because we set higher bars for ourselves to learn more and try and build better solutions and share them with everyone.

You are almost as good as you need to be and you are going to be getting better, as long as you keep hitting the road towards your main goal.

But look at it this, isn't it the best of scientific communities?

Everyone is trying to improve and share more and make the ecosystem richer.

And open-source, fucking open-source, if there is a God, then he inspired the moral of open-source...

Anyway, congratulations for being among the best of scientific communities and damn I appreciate'yall!!

Stories from a Startup #2

One day our CEO stormed through the office, going door-to-door holding a cease-and-desist notice he got from our ISP because someone decided to pirate "Chappie" at work.

Definitely wasn't me. 👀 Don't know if he found out who did it, though... but we all certainly knew.

I'm thinking of starting a service of creating WordPress sites for people.
But there are like 1928372829+ companies doing that.

Am I late to the party?

So, you are telling me that I should motivate myself? For working in a dead end job with no scope of promotion, no imminent raise, ever changing job requirements, layoffs, empty cubicles, zero SDLC process in place, no oversight from upper management, it is somehow my fault for me being late to work everyday?

One of these days, I'm going to fling my resignation paper at your face and drop the mic!

Man, Fuck you son!

Recently I receive a ton of mails from cool/hip/rockstar startups. They all run like this:

"We are a innovative Startup based on a [insert some random stuff or buzzword] blockchain! If you're a student with skills and experience in blockchain, machine learning and AI willing to change the world with our sick technology and make it a better place..."

The best thing about this: since they are a innovative Startup they expect you to work for free.

But who am I to judge something so brand-new and innovative. I contacted them to find out what these dank innovations are about.

They can't even explain what a blockchain is or the basics of ML and AI, they basically just want someone do it for free...

It's still ok since no one is gonna fall for this bait... this morning a friend of mine told me he got a new job... and he even can work from home...

I'm not even mad, I just feel sadness and sorrow specially for him, because he is a good dev and accepts big times underpay and now free work, because he thinks a day off in his CV will lead him to be unemployed 😭

Fucking hate it how people successfuly manipulate kids and youth to them to work 24/7 for minimum wage or even for free and some other douchebags trying to take advantage of this 😡

Bought a GoDaddy.com domain for the website for our startup as a joint decision by the CEO, marketing guy and me(the Dev), cuz it basically fulfilled our needs. Got some criticism from peers and mentors for not choosing AWS. Guess who's not shitting their pants now.

When you have to lock down #general in #slack because people cant be responsible.

Then get stuck making #bs-general and other #bs prefixed channels so that people know if they join them they will be annoyed.

There is no hard, no easy, there is just a goal.

guys/gals, I need your wisdom. Especially from the ones owning startups.

How do you juggle between your project and work at some company (stable income source)? Accelerators, personal financers (mom, pops, best-bud swimming in $$$s, some fat guy in the neighbourhood, etc.), or do you simple multitask btwn daily job and your project?

I'm trying the latter but it's nearly impossible to do anything productive at home after 9 hours at office..

Did not expect when I joined this new startup that there would as much technical debt as there is

I am looking for a job, does any one needs a ceo or a consultant? I can be helpful. I have experience of four failed projects, two were of my own and have experience of one successful one.

Run my own startup

When you work for a startup that isn't going well and the ceo won't listen to the board

Being a junior and part of a small team at a startup, working with a new software architecture, even the team lead is a beginner in it. It feels like I'm at an echo chamber, there's nobody expert enough to look up to if stuck, decisions seem to be based on opinions rather than an architectural design kinda point of view.

Ugh, I hope I'm not the only here ever feeling this way.

My laptop now finally refuses to connect to the company wifi, and here i am browsing bitbucket on my phone

I didn't expect me to be productive today anyway, but that's another rant.

I have been interning at a tech company as a software developer. And it is a paid internship program where I haven't got any stipend for the past months. I have to pay rents, bills, even my transportation too. So o decided to startup a tech company along with my friends. Later this month we are launching our first product.

I used to work at a startup company that was so mismanaged that they lost track of when the Visual Studio licenses expire.

So during a critical week, the Visual Studio instances stopped working, and they have to scramble getting new licenses, which took a while.

In the end, the client lost confidence, pulled the plug on the project. I also lost confidence in the company and bailed out. Less than a year later the company went totally bankrupt.

Could anyone link me to a good tutorial on getting started with bitcoin..? I would look myself, but there are a lot of different ways, and I'm not sure what's a good way, and what's a bad way.. Or, if anyone would like to give me a quick rundown, that would be great, too!

I'm looking to stockpile bitcoins overtime and let them sit, like a savings account. (Currentally have a little over $13 USD to spend (Paypal))

Process must not require a phone number!

Process must support Paypal~!

Thanks in advance,
April.

I’ve been out of steady work for almost 2 whole months now but things are starting to look up...

I’m super stoked for some potential client projects!!! I have one client that wants me to completely rebuild their businesses infrastructure, PC refresh, server upgrade, network overhaul for 3 sites, and more. This new client has a business partner with another side business and wants to discuss potential work/projects. And I’m going to be discussing a potential contract deal on Thursday to develop a custom software for another client.

Guys! My startup is starting woot!!!

Which is worse?

- Staying at a company you helped build because you have an emotional attachment to it, even if it's not as good to work for now, people are leaving every week and pay is under market rate.

- Leaving a company you helped build purely for more money and a big name on your CV.

Follow the money or follow your heart?

(Image slightly relevant?)

Nobody is giving me job in ROS(Robot Operating System).

Fuck it now, I am planning I would start my own startup.!

Start new job January 1st.

Insurance supposed to start on February 1st.

Due to "paperwork problems", insurance doesn't start until March 1st.

Informed of this on March 4th, when I receive insurance cards.

Insurance cards have the wrong name...can't use them.

im the only person in my company who has any sort of tech skill. Im the only dev here, the only IT guy here, and pretty much the only person who can use a computer outside of facebook. And my CEO is expressing concerns as to what i do? Life of startup hell

Does anyone have experience in turning a website idea into a working business? I had a website idea so me and friend decided to make it happen. So far the development is going well, but we don't really know what's next after we're done. Does anyone know any resources regarding what's next? However to reach audience, investors and staff like that?

My Startup Stack now looks like this on production env !! LOL

That moment when you get blamed by product/business for a slow feature...
A feature which the same product person demanded you implement two days before the deadline that the feature was supposed to be released at but you never got told about. You end up doing a miracle and the company avoids a lawsuit but you still get blamed for it being slow. Shouldn't have agreed on the ridiculous deadline and left them suffer from their own bad decisions and communication

Going through a startup code
...
// TODO: implement!
...
// FIXME: this is so messed up
...
...
// HACK: works for now, find a better way
...
// HACK: hardcoded for now
...
// FIXME: this doesn't work, crash here
...
...
// TODO: this probably should be a separate class
...
// TODO: change messed up variable names
...
// FIXME: WTF is this, Dave?!
...
...
// TODO: remove this before release

Worth reading

the week we all worked day and night to finish a project and rescue our company and on friday morning our boss tells us we're insolvent. :(

Wondering who all looking for technical co-founder?

---Startup Rant---

Being a senior developer doesn't grant the privilege to join a team and starting a drama out loud that everything is bad and you don't like it.

First, if everything is perfect there is no need to hire you.
Second, think about the value that you can bring to the team instead of making them feel bad, how can you prepare an improvement plan and start to learn the factors and reasons behind those decisions.

What's funny, it that the same guy after a couple of months starts introducing bad fixes and he says it's ok for the moment, it's not good but it's okayish, I wish I had a time machine for those developers!

Stories from a Startup #1.1

Picture of the swan in question. 😉 We were going to give it to him as a gag gift on our last day, but opted-out.

Culture.

Everybody seems to fuck it up. (Most ignore it entirely)

Everybody seems to undervalue it’s importance. (Its value cannot be overstated)

Everybody seems to think it is a luxury for successful companies. (Instead of being a major part of what got them their success)

Everybody seems to think having beer in the fridge is culture, or some other perk. (I like beer and shit, but that’s not culture unless your company makes fucking beer!)

Everybody seems to think that a value statement is culture. (Your employees don’t give a fuck if you want to “provide value to X industry)

And guess, fucking, what...

Everyone is wrong. That’s why 9/10 startups fail, because the founders and CEO are dumbasses.

Here’s some pretty simple advice for life...

“Don’t be a fucking dumbass”

- Me

So I've been learning by doing node/express/angular stuff for the past 3 months at this startup.
Apparently the boss outsourced a web app for our newest project which i am to maintain upon delivery.
It's written in php.

How to get funding for your startup in India?

Just sprinkle a little bit of blockchain on your project idea. Done 😂😂

When you are the tech side of the startup and founder asks you to implement stuff used by the competitors and you're like *are you kidding me*

Worst tech ever? I will say, but don't throw rocks before I explain. Xcode. Why? Try to use it on MacBook 2008. And after that, compare it to Android Studio on same machine. But at least, I can just say "Compiling" to PM and play games on phone. And even "I don't give a fuck about how urgent it is. IPA build takes 15 minutes."

CEO of the startup: We're fully funded. [Shows screenshot of a Whatsapp conversation with an alleged investor.] See?

Me: Riiiiight

I'm currently founding a startup right after graduation. As the CTO with no employees at the moment I'm like every position in the company related to dev and Ops. It's the biggest challenge I've faced as a dev so far. Though I really learn a lot and grow mature pretty fast and it is challenging in a good sense from a technical perspective, I'm facing hard personal problems like insecurity in decision making, doubting my skills since I'm definitely no senior and a mid to high effectiveness to stress.

I've mixed feelings about the pure speed and developments right now, but the good side of things is far more exciting then the bad side is frightening.

What truely pisses me off though, is the missing time to spend here on devRant. FUCK. FML.

Have a good (REST) weekend.

TL:DR Company partner screws up and doesnt do job. I start new company and now able to make ends meet.

My friend and me started this company together. Our roles were defined. I would manage the development of stuff and he would manage getting the clients. I did my job. About a year into the company. He goes ahead and partners in another company. Normally I wouldnt bother, but this is when he stops getting clients for us. Our business drops 50% in the second year. He doesn't work but expects to be paid the same salary as me. I'm doing all the work for the clients while he wastes his time with the other company. He manages to make money doing stuff and buys a BMW, while I'm struggling to make rent.
Finally in Dec last year, I plan to start my own company. And i suddenly have lots of work which pays decently well. I'm looking to hire and am not as stressed with work any more.
Moral of the story: if you must partner, make sure your partner is fully invented in growing your company.

I want to hire myself. 😍

?

I am working as intern with a super cool startup. I love working here.

But, for the past few days I've been busy with college, exams stuff. This has affected my work severely. I'm constantly past deadlines etc.. The startup understands the fact and also puts no pressure on me for to show up every day and decreased my workload.

College work will be the same for the next two months. I don't want to underperform at the company, at the same time cant do away with my college too.

It's like a relationship where you love the girl a lot but are genuinely too busy to spend time with her.

I'm meeting my supervisor today. I need a subtle way to let him know of the same. I know this would mean me leaving the company, but I want to join them back after two months. Or at least be a work from home, part time employee.

I'm in serious need of some help.

I own a start up with two friends of mine - one is great with business, and the other tries to be both a developer and on the business side. I'm fully on development and I find it extremely frustrating to work with him. He copies and pastes code, doesn't understand it, and worse still will never admit it and digs himself in deeper into the hole he's dug. He doesn't code as a hobby and it's purely just assignments in university that he spends any coding time on. I've tried helping him to improve over the past few months, but nothing seems to ever do anything as there's no desire to solve problems - just really dollar signs in his eyes is probably the only reason he's in computer engineering. Recently we got a contract with an organisation to make an extremely simple app for android and iOS as the first stage of their planned development. As I did the most of the work on another project during the summer (while juggling a job with another company as an internship), I asked if he could take this so he can try to improve and equalise work so he does his share. Not only did it take 3 weeks, but it's shoddy as hell and looks like it was done in the space of an hour. In reality it took days for him. It's unbearable! The android code I saw was clearly just copied from various sources and mashed together - there was no planning, no understanding of abstractions, and was legit a giant class or two with extreme amounts of redundancy. Hell, he even asked me for help for trying to implement fragments when I pointed out that making screens with buttons and such will be extremely difficult if he is only passing in strings. Any of you guys experiences something like this before? I'm planning on bailing in the coming weeks once my exams are over with for university as it's becoming unbearable.