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A big, fat FUCK YOU to everyone who pushes out app-updates with generic "Improvements for speed and reliability" changelogs. I hope you and all your descendants, relatives, friends and pets get huge, hairy, painful warts between your buttcheeks that grow larger every day and return after every attempt to have them removed. Fuck you, and fuck your bullshit updates.

And if there are any devs on devRant guilty of this behaviour, fuck you too. I hope your sexual organs rot and fall off, and that you lose all your upvotes.

Comments
  • 4
    As amazingly annoying as this is (and every single big name app is guilty of this on Google Play), I wouldn't go so far as to wish ill as hard as you did just now. o_o I'm not sure what's worse, "improvements for speed and reliability" or simply "bug fixes".

    It's just like those git commit messages that say "fixed some shit" or "???"
  • 1
    People will never change unless you wish them ill really, really hard. Preferably upon a shooting star. That will then promptly fall down on their garage and destroy their SUV.
  • 2
    Wish I had the power at my place to stop this, as our release notes are frequently just that line - or similar, like "bugs fixes"...

    It's the POs that write them where I work, I'm just the lacky that deploys it all 😩

    A few of us in ops have complained, but our higher ups won't listen.
  • 1
    @Badgerati At least you tried. I shall recant half of my ill wish on you as a reward. You can choose which half.
  • 1
    From experience: sometimes the business [sic] space your developing in requires you to not show your hand so app updates are left intentionally vague so competitors have one less piece of ammunition against you. That said, looks like I have some warts in uncomfortable places to look forward to. 😲😢
  • 1
    If you want to see the worst changelogs for apps, look at Google's apps, they literally put a description of the app as every changelog unless a super massive overhaul is done, it's super annoying!
  • 1
    Weird rant. But I'll be sure to mention that I updated the WS client and handled token expiry better or whatever in my next release notes. Wouldn't want my dick to rot off.
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