Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Long rant ahead, but it's worth it.
I used to work with a professor (let's call him Dr. X) and developed a backend + acted as sysadmin for our team's research project. Two semesters ago, they wanted to revamp the front end + do some data visualization, so a girl (let's call her W) joined the team and did all that. We wanted to merge the two sites and host on azure, but due to issues and impeding conferences that require our data to be online, we kept postponing. I graduate this semester and haven't worked with the team for a while, so they have a new guy in charge of the azure server (let's call him H), and yesterday my professor sends me (let's call me M), H and W an email telling us to coordinate to have the merge up on azure in 2-3 days, max. The following convo was what I had with H:
M: Hi, if you just give me access to azure I'll be able to set everything up myself, also I'll need a db set up, and just send me the connection string.
H: Hi, we won't have dbs because that is extra costs involved since we don't have dynamic content. Also I can't give you access, instead push everything on git and set up the site on a test azure server and I will take it from there.
M: There is proprietary data on the site...
H: Oh really? I don't know what's on it.
<and yet he knows we have no dynamic data>
M: Fine, I'll load the data some other way, but I have access to all the data anyway, just talk to Dr. X and you'll see you can give me access. Delete my access after if you want.
H: No, just do what I said: git then upload to test azure account.
Fine, he's a complete tool, but I like Dr. X, so I message W and tell her we have to merge, she tells me that it's not that easy to set it up on github as she's using wordpress. She sends me instructions on what to do, and, lo and behold, there's a db in her solution. Ok, I go back to talking to H:
M: W is using a db. Talk to her so we can figure out whether we need a database or not.
H: We can't use a database because we want to decrease costs.
M: Yes I know that, so talk to her because that probably means she has to re-do some stuff, which might take some time. Also there might be dynamic content in what she's doing.
H: This is your project, you talk to her.
<I'm starting to get mad right now>
M: I don't know what they had her do apart from how it interfaces with what I've done.
H: We still can't have databases.
M: Listen, I don't do wordpress, and I'm not gonna mess with it, you talk to her
H: I won't do any development
<So you won't do any dev, but you won't give me access to do it either?>
M: Man, the bottleneck isn't the merging right now, it's the fact that W needs a db
H: I know, so talk to her
M: THE RESTRICTION TO NOT HAVE DATABASES IS NOT MINE, IT'S YOURS, YOU TALK TO HER. I can't evaluate whether it's a reasonable enough reason or not since I don't know the requirements or what they're willing to spend.
H: It's your project.
M: Then give me fucking access to azure and I'll handle it, you know you'll have to set up wordpress again regardless whether we set it up the first time.
H: Man just do your job.
At this point I lost it. WHAT A FUCKING TOOL. He doesn't wanna do dev work, wants me to go through the trouble of setting up on a test subscription first, and doesn't want to give me access to azure. What's more, he did shit all and doesn't want to anything else. Well fuck you. I googled him, to see if he's anyone important, if he's done anything notable which is why he's being so God damn condescending. MY INTERNSHIP ALONE ECLIPSES HIS ENTIRE CV. Then what the fuck?
There's also this that happened sometime during our talk:
M: You'll have to take to Dr. Y so he'll change the DNS to point to the azure subscription instead of my server.
H: Yea don't worry, too early for that.
M: DNS propagation takes 24 hours...
H: Yea don't worry.
DNS propagation allows the entire web to know that your website is hosted on a different server so it can change where it's pointing to. We have to do this in 2-3 days. Why do work in parallel? Nah let's wait.
I went over his head and talked to the professor directly, and despite wanting to tell him that he was both drunk and high the day he hired that guy, I kept it professional. He hasn't replied yet, but this fucker's pompous attitude is just too much for me alone, so I had to share.
PS: I named his contact as Annoying Prick 4 minutes into our chat. Gonna rename him cz that seems tooooooo soft a name right now.47 -
I sent a professional letter to my boss telling him that i will leave after 15 days. He replied saying :
" stop that bullshit "19 -
Client: When I hit the “Subscribe” button, it gives me an error.
Me: What’s the error message?
Client: The email field is required.
Me: Have you entered your email before hitting the “Subscribe” button.
Client: Oh, I have enter my email address?
Me: Yes
English is a very complicated language.7 -
If you're going to ask for my help
... and then do the opposite of everything i say
... and then complain when things don't work
... and continue to ignore everything i say
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF8 -
A HUGE FUCK YOU TO EVERY GODDAMN ONLINE STORE WHO NEEDS A CREDIT CARD NUMBER TO OBTAIN SOMETHING FREE.
(the following is a big fuck you)
______
| ___|
| |_
| _|
| |
\_|
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/
_____
/ __ \
| / \/
| |
| \__/\
\____/
_ __
| | / /
| |/ /
| \
| |\ \
\_| \_/
__ __
\ \ / /
\ V /
\ /
| |
\_/
_____
| _ |
| | | |
| | | |
\ \_/ /
\___/
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/10 -
Me - "Has anyone changed the password on the print computer"
Him - "It's the same one."
Me - "Carrots99?"
Him - "Yeah, what's the message that comes up?
Me - "Password is incorrect."
The dumbest conversation I've ever had in my fucking life. You little shit, I know you changed the password just to fuck with people. You've been reading too many books on elevating yourself, tried to be important for something. It means fuck all if you can't remember what you changed it to. So you held up two hours of my work, not to mention everyone else, because you can't help but stick your beak in shit. You dont think people can't see what youre doing? Watching you scurry over to the computer with a big smile, only a to fuck off silent as a mouse not to be seen mumbling some shit about a system administrator. Yeah you forgot it you prick.
Stop sucking up to the boss, and commanding people on what to do, when you're as junior as junior gets. Don't change our fucking passwords, just so you can have the whole team approach you the next day asking for you, then not remember them. You cunt.13 -
Me: chooses English for language, French for keyboard (because that's what my keyboard happens to be), speaks Dutch natively
Windows: oh great! You've told me to display everything in Windows in English. So I'll just show you the Windows store in Dutch, French and English (edit, and Russian in one of the Store tabs, for God knows why), all at once! Because who cares about your language settings anyway, right. You appear to be from Belgium from your IP, so obviously you speak both of these languages despite your personal preferences. Additionally, have some Candy Crush Soda Saga that you've never asked for.
And the application that you wanted to install - Ubuntu? Fuck you, you can't install it, for "reasons" that we've conveniently put in French, because you obviously speak that, right.
HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING GO FUCK YOURSELF, MICROSOFT?!18 -
WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING6 -
The university system is fucked.
I've been working in this industry for a few years now, but have been self taught for much longer. I'm only just starting college and I'm already angry.
What does a college degree really mean anymore? From some of the posts I've seen on devRant, it certainly doesn't ensure professional conduct, work ethic, or quality (shout out to the brave souls who deal with the lack of these daily). Companies should hire based on talent, not on a degree. Universities should focus more on real world applications or at least offer such programs for students interested in entering the workforce rather than research positions. A sizable chunk of universities' income (in the U.S. at least) comes from research and corporate sponsorships, and educating students is secondary to that. Nowadays education is treated as a business instead of a tool to create value in the world. That's what I signed up for, anyway - gaining the knowledge to create value in the world. And yet I along with many others feel so restricted, so bogged down with requirements, fees, shitty professors, and shitty university resources. There is so much knowledge out there that can be put to instant practical use - I am constantly shocked at the things left out of my college curriculum (lack of automated tests, version control, inadequate or inaccurate coverage of design patterns and philosophies) - things that are ABSOLUTELY essential to be successful in this career path.
It's wonderful that we eventually find the resources we need, or the motivation to develop essential skills, but it's sad that so many students in university lack proper direction through no fault of their own.
Fuck you, universities, for being so inflexible and consistently failing to serve your basic purpose - one of if not the most important purpose on this earth.
Fuck you, corporations, for hiring and paying based on degree. Fuck you, management, for being so ignorant about the industry you work in.
Fuck you, clients, who treat intelligent people like dirt, make unreasonable demands, pull some really shady shit, and perpetuate a damaging stereotype.
And fuck you to the developer who wrote my company's antipattern-filled, stringy-as-all hell codebase without comments. Just. Fuck you.17 -
Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.
Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.
I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.
Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.
What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?9 -
I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):
"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"
"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"
"so why not the secure basics by default?!"
"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"
Well, fuck you.16 -
Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
3. Captcha
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button
Fuck hell and that all again for my second account7 -
In may this year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands went into effect. Loads of people were against it with the arguments that everyone's privacy was not protected well enough, data gathered through dragnet surveillance might not be discarded quickly after the target data was filtered out and the dragnet surveillance wouldn't be that 'targeted'.
They were put into the 'paranoid' corner mostly and to assure enough support/votes, it was promised that:
- dragnet surveillance would be done as targeted as possible.
- target data would be filtered out soon and data of non-targets would be discarded automatically by systems designed for that (which would have to be out in place ASAP).
- data of non-targets would NOT be analyzed as that would be a major privacy breach.
- dragnet surveillance could only be done if enough proof would be delivered and if the urgency could justify the actions.
A month ago it was already revealed that there has been a relatively (in this context) high amount of cases where special measures (dragnet surveillance/non-target hacking to get to targets and so on) were used when/while there wasn't enough proof or the measures did not justify the urgency.
Privacy activists were anything but happy but this could be improved and the guarantees which were given to assure privacy of innocent people were in place according to the politicians... we'll see how this goes..
Today it was revealed that:
-there are no systems in place for automatic data discarding (data of innocent civilians) and there are hardly any protocols for how to handle not-needed or non-target data.
- in real life, the 'as targeted dragnet as possible' isn't really as targeted as possible. There aren't any/much checks in place to assure that the dragnets are aimed as targeted as possible.
- there isn't really any data filtering which filters out non-targers, mostly everything is analyzed.
Dear Dutch government and intelligence agency; not so kindly to fuck yourself.
Hardly any of the promised checks which made that this law could go through are actually in place (yet).
Fuck you.30 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
So we where given a project with a deadline already set behind our backs and we have to give our deadline despite not knowing wtf we have to do exactly ...
They asked us to don't ask too much time because the budget can't afford too much time...
I'm here thinking: WTF?!
THEY PASSED A FUCKING DEADLINE AND PRICES TO THE FUCKING CLIENT WITHOUT ASKING ANY! ANY MOTHERFUCKING DEV ABOUT IT!!!
We asked them so many fucking questions on the first meeting that they were fucking baffled about everything but kept playing cool like "well, this project is already set and we are gonna have to deal with it"
Bunch of motherfucking stupid cock suckers , go die agonizing on your own vomit and if ask my help I'm gonna answer "well, you gonna have to deal with it because you are already fucked"2 -
So WhatsApp introduced number linking (with facebook) to its users a while ago.
I know a lot of people who opted out (this option was introduced by facebook because of european laws) because they didn't want their number linked. They said that it infringed their privacy (or however the fuck you spell that).
A few months later we found out that that checkbox thingy didn't do anything and facebook would link everything anyways. They got a 10 million euro fine I thought.
I found one thingy very disturbing though. Told some friends about the ability to opt out (when the scandal hadn't happened yet) and they did right away.
Then later on the scandal became public.
Told them about that.
'Oh but I don't have anything to hide, it's alright!'.
Jesus fucking christ how deep can people sink?! First you say that you opt out because you don't want your fucking data linked and when the fucking scandal gets public you act like everything is fine because 'you have nothing to hide anyways'.
Fucking hell.50 -
"could you put me through to a colleague who has the ability to have an actual intellectual conversation?"
-
Somehow I finished the call but God damn it took some energy and self control not to completely lose my shit. His tone was also very denigrating (he just didn't agree on something which was his fucking problem)
Fuck him.8 -
When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.
When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.
When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.
Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.
What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...9 -
!dev
!!misery
I'm drunk, so it's time for some faux-emotional, blunt oversharing. and lots of profanity. It won't be pretty.
------
I'm miserable. I can't sleep at night. When I finally manage to, I sleep like crap. In the morning, early, I get woken up by my children screaming or pulling my hair or jumping on either the bed or me, or talking ad furore, or any number of other miserably unpleasant things that completely prevent sleep. So I'm tired every single day, which totally surprisingly makes focusing on work fucking difficult. Doubly so because the work is fucking uninteresting and the code is awful to read and difficult to understand because it's complicated and often poorly written. And extending it takes enormous mental effort I simply do not have to give. Oh! Guess what my job is?
To make matters worse, time to myself basically does not exist, ever. I wake up, I attend standup, I cook and eat breakfast, I work while fighting against endless distractions and interruptions, I cook and eat dinner, I work some more, and finally: I can go to bed and try to sleep. The next morning, I wake up and repeat this misery, ad nauseam.
Et ad nauseam? Nauseam est nunc.
It's not proper latin, but fuck you. it's good enough. and nobody speaks it anyway.
Ego sum miseriae. Is that good enough for you?
I can't find it in myself to care about anything. I've been doing whatever I can to feel a little more normal, but mostly I just feel numb. If I drink, it helps a little because I notice my misery a little less. That's a great solution right there: drink until I don't care anymore, and keep doing the same shit without even trying to make things better. Why? Because I fucking can't. I hate this house, I hate the lack of quiet, I hate this city, I hate the dust and the clutter, I hate this state, I hate this codebase, I don't like my coworkers, I hate that I can't get a fucking thing done without spending 6x longer than it should, I hate that I can't fucking think of a single thing I want to do, I hate that I can't ever enjoy anything, I hate that I'm beginning to hate myself, and I fucking hate everything else, too.
In short:
I'm not happy. I'm fucking miserable.
And no, I'm not posting this here for you to psychoanalyze me or suggest solutions. It's for me to vent. Fuck your opinions and fuck your advice and fuck you.38 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.9 -
OPPO sure has the BALLS to fucking install ads on MY FUCKING PHONE, first they force installed “Hot Apps” and “Hot Games” and I can’t remove it. I was like “Yeah sure whatever”. Then they installed sticker ads on THE BUILT IN KEYBOARD. “Ok”. This fucking shit actually installed ads on my fucking notification panel, and pop up a warning every once in two days asking me to”🔥 Update your software to latest version 💢” WITH THAT KIND OF TEXT AND EMOTICONS
FUCK YOU OPPO27 -
Spent 6 days, trying to get a navbar to stick in my iOS webapp while scrolling, no way to get it done.
This morning I installed iOS update 11.3, problem solved without changing a single line of CSS...
FUCK YOU APPLE5 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE! IF YOU OPEN SOURCE YOUR LIBRARY AT LEAST REPLY TO THE ISSUES IF YOU CAN'T PROVIDE A DECENT WORKING SAMPLE!!!!5
-
FUCK YOU APPLE.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR NEED OF MY FUCKING VISA.
FUCK YOU APP STORE.
Why the fuck can’t I update any fucking app? Fuck your pigs incest company.
Think different my ass.7 -
1. Just because it sounds cool doesn't mean it is.
2. Automate all the things. If you can see everything from cli all the better.
3. If it isn't commited and pushed, it doesn't exist or won't after a hard drive burnout
4. Everything on your workstation should be quickly reproduceable or in a git repo.
5. Murphy is a bitch3 -
TLDR: Fuck you, Client A
1. Want to change the business flow during UAT and decide the deadline to be less than 4 weeks, even though that's how the business flow stated on the docs
2. He threatening us not to pay if it isn't done, even though he's not the one paying us
3. He said time isn't a problem because he can provide a table and chair that is put in front of his table
Fuck you, Client A13 -
Fuck you google chrome ...just because I use Windows and have only 4 gigs of RAM doesn't mean you can just shit on my RAM.28
-
My god people = shit...
“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”
- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.
“Why can’t you fix it...!?”
Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!
I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?
I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.
That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!3 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU REWRITE A FUCKING PIECE OF CODE AND DON'T MAINTAIN ITS FUNCTIONALITY?
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD????
JUST SPENT 1 FUCKING HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK THE DATA WASN'T BEING PASSED TO REDUX STORE!
YEAH, UNIT TESTING SURE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT THAT HAS MASHED POTATOES FOR A BRAIN!
GO ROT IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
NOW IF I DON'T FIX THIS SHIT MY ASS IS ON THE LINE BECAUSE I MADE THE FUCKING FUNCTIONALITY THAT YOU BROKE?? NO FUCKING WAY!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BOSS, I'M GONNA GIT BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF ANYONE PISSES ME OFF!2 -
Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"
At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...
I laughed and walked off8 -
Installed Ubuntu Linux on my cousin's PC... Age 12... He starts earlier than me... :/
But I'm proud of him :)8 -
I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge
"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.
Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.
You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬7 -
Why the fuck do all these good fucking companies need that proven fucking 3 years of work fucking experience to join? You gotta fucking start somewhere11
-
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
Just spoke with a guy who considers himself a PC expert.
He: You can always recover your offline data from your PC, even if you burn it.
Me: You just need to remove your hard drive.
He: Even if you remove your hard disk, offline data can be recovered from from RAM memory.
Me: WTF?? * Trying to explain him that RAM is a volatile memory*
He: Yeah but you can recover it from the BIOS.
Me: r u serius right now??
And I can continue, because we've unfortunately talked for about an hour.
Why these people consider themselves experts and why the fuck do they have to teach you things that the don't know. FML5 -
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1 -
fucking mashable. I hate it so much. did you see their story today? they're supposed to be about "tech" BUT THEY TALKED ABOUT WHAT THE COLOR OF YOUR FUCKING IPHONE SAYS ABOUT YOU. THEN THEY TALKED ABOUT A CASE. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, THATS AN ANDROID CASE NOT AN IPHONE CASE. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK THESE PEOPLE ARE EMPLOYED? 99% OF THE PEOPLE ON DEVRANT COULD DO A 100% BETTER JOB. AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES ARE ALL NOW STUPIDER BY LOOKING AT YOUR CONTENT. FUCK YOU MASHABLE🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
19 -
After a little I'm having huge issues with my new phone. No custom ROMs available.
Fuck this shit I'm going to try to port another Mediatek based ROM to my phone tonight.
I'd rather get a bricked device than working with this piece of shit vendor made android system.
The phone itself other the the software is very good though!
Umidigi programmers, go fuck yourselves.19 -
I love devRant. But the people constantly saying "Python is shit" OR "Windows is for idiots" OR "Never use C it's ancient" OR "Microsoft sucks" OR any other fucking subjective opinion that's absolutely worthless drive me crazy.
I see many people here asking "Should I do [option1] or [option2]?" And the only responses are "[option3 which is not a fucking option you degraded fuck who thinks his/her opinions somehow matter in this discussion while they are clearly NOT helping]"
Sorry but this place has "Rant" in it's name so I thought this would be appropriate.22 -
Never trust a breadboard. Days spent trying to figure out why my I2C device was not recognised. SCL and SDA were FUCKING SHORTED INSIDE THE BREADBOARD.
8 -
So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.
I'm already updating my resume.4 -
www.crossinstall.com
Go fuck yourself. They're the company that makes those pain in the ass mini-game ads. You know, the ones that aren't even relevant to the game.
"Oh look! A city building game. Let's advertise it with a tower defense game!"9 -
I'm hereby quitting as a dev and decide to become a maid in a maid cafe cos I just witnessed someone break my code with their hacky fix
seriously, fuck him. Now excuse me, I gotta don a maid uniform and chant cute noises3 -
Government Fucking Websites.
Slow as fuck, disorganized, errors from 2004, UI from 2001.
You have to use them at a time when you really don't feel like waiting 30 fucking seconds for each page load.
Or filling out a fucking form that, ok, they made SOME kind of attempt to save your data, but it's overly complex and annoying.
Government websites. Making tasks that should take 5 minutes, 5 hours, since 1998.
Assholes.8 -
Client: You are bad developers. Your code has bugs and the site isn't even pretty. And why is it so damn expensive??
Us: ...
Same client (a month later): I need this campaign landing page with the option to register and an admin for user management. It should be done till the day after tomorrow because the URL is already in print. Here's the catalogue (in .pdf) in which it will appear. Use it as a style guide.
FUCK YOU!2 -
“Even if the client doesn’t answer the emails it’s still the client and the job has to be done.”
You fucking sardine-shaped hen. This is the most idiot sentence that came out from a human mouth this century after “earth is flat”.
How the fuck shall I work with a client that literally validated nothing and asks nothing?
I hope your husband values you for your the way you move your hips rather than the way you earn your salary, you disgraceful amount of inorganic waste of cells.10 -
What kind of cum gargling gerbil shelfer stores and transmits user passwords in plain text, as well as displays them in the clear, Everywhere!
This, alongside other numerous punishable by death, basic data and user handling flaws clearly indicate this fucking simpleton who is "more certified than you" clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about any kind of best practice that if the extra time was taken to implement, might not totally annihilate the company in lawsuits when several big companies gang up to shower rape us with lawsuits over data breaches.
Even better than that is the login fields don't even differentiate between uppercase or lowercase, I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS IGNORANT CUNTS THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS SCENARIO?13 -
Fuck you idiots at medium.com for your sheer impudence. Not only that you track me, which I havn't agreed to, you think it's a good idea to nag around and gather even more data!
You stinking farts label your stalking as "let's make things official"! Who shit in your head?
I've seen other places way more often, and guess what, no coffee bar has ever had the idea to ask for my ID card just because I bought my second or third coffee there.
But just because it's the internet you think it's OK to be intrusive wankers, yeah?! Fuck off.
4 -
Dear Developers,
A. Please put your fucking functions in files with names related to the purpose of the functions.
B. Don't define your database management methods in your goddamn configuration file.
C. In addition, fucking document your shit at the top of the file if you refuse to abide by request A.
Someone is going to maintain or modify this code after you, and that person will have a hell of a time with it.3 -
Lazy. Lazy. LAZY!
I hate the combination of lazy and stupid. You don't have to be especially bright but at least don't combine stupidity with laziness, otherwise you're just useless and a burden to anyone you work with. I don't know what frontend thinks their scope of work is but I'm tired of these people acting like users saying shit like, "Oh no, backend threw an error. Oh no, there is an error."
Just because backend threw an error doesn't mean backend has to change shit on their side. Also, I don't have to debug this shit before you even check the request you're sending. I can't write code to read your mind or guess what you're trying to do. If it's not in the request, it's not in the fucking request. If the request is wrong, the request is fucking wrong. Every time I check these errors, I don't find anything wrong with the backend code. It's always when I test through the user interface that I find out you're sending the wrong request. It's either something is there that shouldn't be there or vice versa.
But that's just too much work for you, isn't it? The next time you report anything, I'll just look to confirm it's not a backend problem and not respond to you or give you my findings. I'm tired of telling you to check the request 'cause even when you look at it, you can't seem to use basic logic on how anything in it can be wrong. It's right fucking there, man.
"I click button, button is pressed, uuuhhh, frontend OK. Backend not." *drools and scratches balls*13 -
I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.
My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!
I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!
WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.
Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!
We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤
I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!
I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.
YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!14 -
imagine if devRant had a programming language
#define SHITS_I_GIVE 0
codes START_BITCH() {
FUCKING_DISPLAY("FUCK YOU WORLD\n");
COCKSUCKER_INT counter_bitch = 0;
DURING(counter_bitch < SHITS_I_GIVE) {
FUCKING_DISPLAY("I DON'T GIVE "); FUCKING_DISPLAY(counter_bitch);
FUCKING_DISPLAY(" FUCKS,\n");
}
FUCKING_DISPLAY("SUCK A COCK ASSHOLES");
}19 -
!rant
I just asked for a 42% raise having an already good salary and got it easily.
The best thing? I helped this company grow so much I barely work half the time I used to due to the newly hired workforce. I can work on my own projects so much.9 -
so heres to all the fucking programming teachers who use incorrectly terminology when explaining shit. now i gotta go tell my friend that he should ignore what the teacher said and ill tell her how to myself. also fuck javascript and code.org's terrible implementation of an environment for it.
4 -
WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.
So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.
So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.
The function was only 3 lines of code:
- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)
- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before
- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.
No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.
So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:
"Shitstream Debugging"
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.
=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins
So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.
Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...
Conclusion:
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.
Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.2 -
So this Fujitsu monitor has a Vesa 100x100 mount but the monitor stand isn't removable. Bruh, why even bother putting a Vesa mount on the monitor if you can't take the original damn stand off. Fuck you Fujitsu, fuck you.
6 -
I raise my middle finger:
- to the past developers of this 4 year old piece of garbage project that we are maintaining, who thought that using StringBuffers to construct html documents as a Http response as a good idea
- to the bosses and managers, who keeps on giving unreasonable deadlines yet passes accountability to others.
I gave you all a Linus Torvalds style fuck you!!
That is it, I decided to resign -
A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.
So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.
We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.
When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:
"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."
So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????
YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???
GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE
God, it feels good to let that out.4 -
What is worse than clients? Yeah, you know it now, the answer is coworkers.
But worst than coworkers, there is another category, which is the “exes” (coworkers).
Let’s talk about Jay (fictional name).
This guy is a spaghetti developer who managed to create a CMS in 1998, which is a fucking bug nest. You can’t do anything without having to write code here and there, and the user is not autonomous. Every fucking module has to be rewritten for every website, it’s slow, it freezes, it’s inconsistent structurally talking, not secured (ok we’re talking about 90’s ) and i don’t know how the fuck he managed to sell it to clients and to convince my boss to sell it and finance its development until 3-4 years ago.
I’ve been working on this masterpile of shit and also learnt to summon daemons to make this shit work, but still, writing PHP from scratch would be a pleasant task compared to work with it to be honest.
Anyway, last year my boss asked me to rewrite all the css of our website and I was fine with it, as long as I had The design files available. And this was ok, we work with a designer and she even bought me a Sketch license to open her files. (I have to mention nice people too sometimes).
This SCMS (Shitty CMS) works with less files to be compiled in css and should update automatically, then in the proper CMS windows you should be able to assign styles and shit. And I didn’t talk about the structure. There were at least 400 css classes for 5 pages...
However 2/3 times this shit couldn’t assign any horse fuck to anything, and stuff even broke. I try to adjust an animation, a slider in another page breaks. The developer was like “you don’t know shit” but still, the cockroaches fucker took 3 days per issue, and sometimes it stayed unsolved.
Anyway, after efforts after effort, JavaScript modules ghosting here and there, I convince my boss to change everything and just go on a WordPress.
After weeks of thinking about this (we started “building” the new website in 2015...) he finally discontinued this piece of contemporary art and also started to make clients move to something up to date.
Peace was brought to me... until today.
A client calls and sees that an image slideshow doesn’t work properly on mobile.
Fine, let’s go on the website, doesn’t work; inspect on desktop: JavaScript events to trigger the slide. Library used : moo tools. I have no fucking idea about this but okay, Let’s activate JavaScript on mobile, the fucker still doesn’t work.
Talked about this to my boss, and now he doesn’t want to make them switch and I will have to try to port this to something more modern. Time allocated : 4 hours.
I tried to explain him the fucking hell it is, but still, he wants me to fucking develop a slideshow on this human atrocity.
I’m going to cry and summon a demon to exchange my soul wig I don’t know whatever fucking skill I will need to achieve this.19 -
Just got my Christmas present from Shopify:
You have 45 days to integrate with our new Billing API or lose your app on our app store.
Because I just LOVE dropping everything to deal with yet another mandatory Shopify change. Have you guys not heard of backwards compatibility?
My coworker just spent *weeks* getting our app approved, including submitting an obscene amount of information and multiple live reviews and now they're threatening to remove our listing from their app store if we don't adopt their new API by the end of January, requiring a complete re-submission and review to get it back on.
This is apparently a completely normal way to do business to Shopify.4 -
nVidia, fuck you
Just fuck you!
FUCK YOU!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO LIKE ALL THE OTHER MANUFACTURERS!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST PUBLISH OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS THAT WORK WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL STANDARDS AND NOT YOUR OWN PROPRIETARY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT SOLUTION!!!
ALL OTHER MANUFACTURERS HAVE OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS, AND SOME ARE EVEN MAINLINED IN THE KERNEL!!!
I JUST WANT WAYLAND TO WORK!! FUCK YOU
I’M BUYING AN AMD!!!
https://reddit.com/r/...
https://drewdevault.com/2017/10/...17 -
Fuck you, you motherfucking fuck. How DARE you have the capacity to sell fake fucking chips on Amazon and make me fucking waste hours of my god damn fucking nights trying to program your shitty, lazy-ass implementation of an EEPROM.
I followed the datasheet specs down to the fucking microsecond just to find that nothing would write to the chip, and then spent hours of my goddamn life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, making myself feel like a fucking failure for not being able to write 1s and 0s to a few pins. Fuck you, fuck you with a giant horse cock with needles on the tip12 -
Fucking tired of half ass memes of having a sleepless nights because of missed semicolon in the code.
Motherfuck. What are you using fucking notepad? And are you fucking 15 years old. Who the fuck finds such lame meme funny.8 -
I just installed a firewall on my phone and immeasurable Facebook asked to Access the internet.
The thing is, Facebook is disabled through my apps settings anyways.8 -
A minute of middle-fingered-silence to those fuckers who buy expensive high end machines and play finch stupid video games like counter strike and all and fucking don't let their roommate sleep!!!!
Fuck you roommate!!
Fuck steam.18 -
(Best read while listening to AEnima by Tool, loudly)
Dear Current Workplace,
Fuck you, for the reasons enumerated below.
Fuck your enterprise grey blue offices, the stifling warm air of a hundreds of bodies and sub par "development laptops".
Fuck your shitty carbonated water machines which were a cost saving measure over decent drinkable water.
Fuck your fake "flexi time", "you can do home office whenever you want" bullshit. You're still inviting me to mandatory meetings at 09:00 regularly.
Fuck your shitty, in house, third part IT provider sister company. They're the worst of all worlds. If it was in company, we'd get to give out to them, if it was an external company we'd fire them. And yes, when I quit I will quote the dumpster fire that is our corporate VPN as a major factor.
Fuck your cheery, bland, enterprise communication. Words coming under the corporate letterhead seem to lose all association with meaning. Agile, communication, open are things you write and profess to respect, but it seems your totally lack understanding of their meaning.
Fuck your client driven development. Sometime you actually have to fix the foundations before you can actually add new features. And fuck you management who keep on asking "why are there so many bugs and why is it always taking longer to deliver new releases". Because of you, you fucknuts, Because you can't say "NO" to the customer. Because you never listen to your own experienced developers.
Fuck your bullshit "code quality is important to us" line. If it's so important, then let us fix the heap of shit you're selling so that it works like a quasi functional program.
Fuck you development environment which has 250 projects in a single VS solution. Which takes 5mins plus to compile on a quad core i7 with 32 gb of ram.
Fuck this bullshit ball of mud "architecture". I spend most of my time trying to figure out where the logic should go and the rest of the time writing converters between different components. All because 7 years ago some idiot "architect" made a decision that they didn't have to live with.
Actually, fuck that guy in particular. Yeah, that guy who was the responsible architect for the project for 4 years and not once opened the solution to look a the code.
Fuck the manual testing of every business process. Manual setup of the entities takes 10mins plus and then when you run, boom either no message or some bullshit error code.
Fuck the antiquated technology choices which cause loads of bugs and slow down development. Fuck you for forcing me to do manual tests of another developers code at 20:00 on a Friday night because we can't get our act together to do this automatically.
Fuck you for making sure it's very clear I'm never going to be anything but a code monkey in this structure. Managers are brought in from outside.
Fuck you for being surprised that it's hard to hire competent developers in this second rate, overpriced town. It's hard to hire anywhere but this bland shithole would have anyone with half a clue running away at top speed.
Fuck you for valuing long hours and loyalty over actual performance. That one guy who everyone hated and was totally incompetent couldn't even get himself fired. He had to quit.
Fuck you for your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being the only employer for my skill-set in the region; paying just well enough that changing jobs locally doesn't make sense, but badly enough that it's difficult to move.
Fuck you for being the stable "safe" option so that any move is "risky".
Fuck your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being something I think about when I'm not at work. Not only is it shit from 9 to 5 you manage to suck the joy out of everything else in my life as well?
Fuck you for making me feel like a worse developer every day I work here. Fuck you for making every day feel like a personal and professional failure. Fuck you for making me seriously leave a career I love for something, anything else.
Fuck you for making the most I can hope for when I get up in the morning is to just make it until the night.6 -
Fuck you you fucking fuck, why would you change an api without any notification?
Background: built an app for a customer, it needs to fetch data frlman external api, and save it to a db.
Customer called: it's broken what did you do?!?
Me: I'll look into it.
Turned out the third party just changed their api... Guess I should implenent some kind of notification, if no messages come in for some time...5 -
> be me
> be fooled into a company that says they do agile, tests and best practiced
> theyreallydont.jpg
> read issue "The last name is not showing on X and Y screen".
> www.fixed.it
> they ask why isnt it also fixed on screen A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
> ...
fuck you9 -
>got 2TB storage upgrade for Xbox One S
>plugs in
>format went well
>queue up ganes to download to external storage
>all is fine
>whoops a game crashed and hanged the console
>force-reboot xbox
>OH MY GOD ALL THE GAMES ARE GONE ALL OUR SAVES ARE GONE EVERYTHING'S GONE
>well at least the saves are all cloud saves
>wait why are they not resyncing
>Turns out you can sync saves upward but not downward if you don't pay for Gold for ALL ACCOUNTS ON THE XBOX, and gold family share doesn't count
>mfw Microsoft is ransoming save backups now
12 -
the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.
There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.
Edit: phone tried to censor me5 -
My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.
Shit falls on me since he ain't here.
Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....
know why?
Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.
Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification... -
" this page uses cookies"
"We've updated our privacy policy"
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"
Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!5 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site
oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF2 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
Actually the worst fucking developer experience is meeting those all knowing people who think they know everything but actually they even don’t know how the fucking tools they’re using every day are written and how they work.
Those people that think when they installed library it should do everything how they imagined to and don’t fucking bother to debug problems and create pull requests if it’s fucking buggy.
Those fucking ranters who moan about something they don’t understand.
Those fuckers who think if they understood what A*, Dijkstra, graph algorithm is they’re smarter then others.
No you fuckers you’re dumb as fuck cause instead of explaining it to someone you just blame people for not knowing “obvious shit”.
All those fucking ignorants I am fucking writing about you.
You either start support each other or fuck you people.7 -
Client (monday): What does it take this long? I have sent you everything!
Last email from him with content: Friday, 18:12
Would you kindly go and fuck yourself. Please.1 -
I lost sleep because of Kubernetes...
Rancher you fucking cuck you didn't tell me ahead of time OpenEBS can't RWX YA FOKIN WANKER FUCKING DAFT CUNT PIECE OF SHITE BLOODY BELLEND8 -
It astounds me that people will actually pay thousands of dollars to come to a bootcamp and just fuck around...
Like we will spend an hour going over materials and concept and when it comes time to apply it and build something the kid next to me never knows what's going on! And then always asks me how to do it.
I tried being positive about it and be like hey if I can explain it to him...then that means I really know it!
Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm ready to strangle the kid.
He will sit on his phone playing games the whole time the lesson is going. Then when the lesson is over, put his phone down and immediately ask me how to do it...
The fuck!? Maybe if you'd just listen you'd know wtf you're doing by now you useless vapid brainless twatwaffle!
4 -
About to send my entire department on Vacation Leave today for the next week. We have 3 days of work before we go on holiday leave (next week). And I want to give them a 3 day head start because fuck everyone else and I want me boys to enjoy shit beforehand.
Fuck you, managers do care.4 -
Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:
- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints
The list goes on...
An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)2 -
So my host of choice decided to migrate an old site to a new set of IPs without warning yesterday, down side to a VPS I guess.
Now this wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t on a dedicated IP you wankers.
DNS won’t resolve to new location yet and Virtual hosts contained the old IPs and for some fuck of a reason the httpd file is auto generated 😡so updating it will be lost on reboot.
Like What the flying fuck you imbeciles, this site has been up and running for 5+ years on this IP.
I barely do any maintenance for t as it’s just an old horse sitting on the web but fuck you don’t need to fuck with it or atleast give some fucking warning before you go drop it offline 😡1 -
YOU FUCKING FUCK PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT XCODE I FUCKING WISH YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THIS FUCKED UP WORLD!
What I did:
1. Scroll right on "Magic Mouse"
2. Profit! (XCode crash!)5 -
I really hate designers who get worked up over a few pixels difference between their mockup and the end result.
I really, really, really, really, thoroughly despise designers who get worked up over a few pixels when they keep changing the mockup without notifying me, when we're already *weeks* past our intended launch date.
Shove those pixels up your ass, you fucking fuck7 -
Where the fuck my privacy go?
I'm paying you to listen to music or watch films, I don't want you to create a damm profile my taste or "learn" what might like.
If it was a free service, fine, I'd understand, but I am fucking pying you. I should have the option to completely disable your arse sniffing software.
I know some of them provide a "private mode", but I want that to be the default, I am paying for the god damn service :/6 -
You know a company is ripping you off when they charge £79 for a fucking charger and it breaks in 1 year. Fuck you Apple2
-
I fucking love HP.
Why, you may ask, given that I've ranted about their crap so many times now? Great question!
I love HP because every time I go to town on their hardware because yet again it got me infuriated somehow, I don't feel bad about it afterwards. Instead I feel oddly satisfied, liberated from another piece of crap from them. And besides, usually it's their or Acer's shitty hardware that gets me worked up anyway.
That said, fuck you HP. Filthy Microsucking pieces of shit.
.. anyway. I've just went around disassembling an old vacuum cleaner this morning, to liberate its 800W single phase AC motor. I'll probably have to underrun it with a step-down transformer but at e.g. 200VAC it should probably work no problem 🙂
12 -
You fucking piece of crap of an idiotic client. What the fuck do you need to know more than “job will start upon signing the quote”? A fucking bouquet of flowers? And now you need a meeting to “improve communication between you and us”. Read the fucking emails, I’m not your fucking employee. “Why should we wait that we approve the ticket or whatever to get the job done?” BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING MAINTENANCE CONTRACT. I am not your buddy and I don’t fucking do favours. You want the job done? Either you accept the quote, or you accept the ticket request, or you subscribe to a fucking prepaid or flat maintenance contract. It’s simple as that you fucking elephant broken Asshole.
Fuck you and your fucking meeting requests.7 -
Dear fuckface,
Fuck you and your Electron gobbling up RAM like it's free food at a all-you-can-eat buffet. It's not. Please take your Electron and fuck the fuck off from my computer.
Sincerely, with a double middle finger and double middle toes,
PTH7 -
Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?
A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:
"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"
GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!11 -
Long rant 😤😤😤
Today I was going to hit my project manager in the face. I can't stand people like him. In every fucking meeting he starts talking about his past successes and we are forced to listen to him. In this sprint, we had a tough task which took more time than planned. So we didn't finish it till the deadline. After working hard all night long I finally managed to get the job done. And today guess what happened? He didn't fucking appreciate it. All he was talking was mediocre look of the module we've developed for the website. And it's not even my job to make a beautiful design as a back-end developer. At a point I wanted to resign. I don't know how much I will stand this situation. He has always been like this since he came to the company. The worst part is, he is not a senior developer or something. Al he talks about is some fucking old jobs he has done we don't know if they are real or not. From every meeting we suspect his skills are limited. He just knows how to talk. He has never reviewed a single line of code because he doesn't know PHP (yes I know, I know). Hell he doesn't know any back-end language and he is supposed to create a new architecture for the website. He don't have enough database skills neither. All he says he has worked as a mobile and front-end developer. So now I'm home and don't know If I should resign or not.4 -
To whoever in the history of this godforsaken app I’m tasked with has commingled PHP with ColdFusion, I have a message for you:
Fuck you...fuck your momma, fuck yo daddy, fuck yo computer, fuck yo keyboard, fuck yo mouse, fuck the clothes on your back, fuck monitors that displayed this shit, fuck your fingers in particular, fuck yo brain, fuck whoever dropped yo on your head as an infant, fuck the car you drove to work in, fuck the servers running this shit, fuck anybody who was involved with your education, and if I see you on the street ima slap the shit out of you.7 -
what the last windows update did to me:
- BROKE the fucking SPEAKERS so i have NO SOUND even WITH HEADPHONES. the only pair that work is a bluetooth one that i used before
- RESET ALL OF MY BIOS SETTINGS. this includes intel haxm so now the FUCKING AVD WON'T WORK.
- BROKE my FINGERPRINT SENSOR, so now i cant use the side of my pinky to login.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.
GO SUCK BILL GATES'S COCK.
DIE IN A HOLE.11 -
When you just want to reply to an email request with "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with this?"4
-
Fuck you Australian Fucking Internet!!
Yea sure i have fucking hours to sit here and fucking upload a 4GB repo to gitlab at 5kb/s!!! - yes the slow ass KILOBYTES, you overly expensive piece of horse shit.
fuck it, connects to phone and bam 1MB/s uploads, well theres goes a chunk of this month data :(7 -
Wtf windows I leave my computer for 30 fucking minutes and you just initiate an update. No confirmation box that I want to shut down my entire computer for an hour. Fuck you windows
15 -
For the love of God. Please stop trying to make me download your shitty mobile app. I don’t have room, and I don’t want it. I just want to read the content that YOU SENT TO ME (looking at you, Quora). Nice way to make sure I unsubscribe and never come back. An unclosable pop up on mobile that just has a button to your mobile app while I have limited data and patience doesn’t do it for me. Fuck whoever came up with THAT brilliant decision.1
-
Stop sending passwords in plain text via email. Just stop already. If you don't know how to implement a secure alternative, hire a fucking consultancy to assist you.
Fuck. The next time I purchase from you and I get my password in plain text anywhere, I'm immediately demanding a refund and taking my money elsewhere.
Just fucking stop.13 -
Haha. Yeah threaten to fork my repo and make it more popular than it already is because I won't add a clearly out of scope feature.
I'll wait.14 -
"Linux is shit because nothing works on my new DOM 2017/2018 laptop!"
Yes it's true that nothing will work if you put your finking ubuntu 14.04 installation with a fucking old 3.13 kernel in your new Laptop!
Update. Your. Fucking. System.6 -
Big rant.
Just finished my first year of uni. I took an extra course on c# (mvc, entity framework) and android development in java. We learned a lot of stuff and at the end of the semester they held a contest. We had to develop an app respecting their specifications and add something from ourselves for extra points. Problem was that we were supposed to work on the project during our finals, which we didn't, finishing uni is on the first place. But we had a week after finals to work on it. I, like many others, slept very littlre during that week, only to work on that app, I worked for more than 13 hours a day to finish it (it was a pretty big app) and I was pretty happy with the end result. Today they were supposed to announce the apps that made it to the final. They just announced that no app deserves to be in the final. They know that we had finals, but that we could still do better. They just peed on our work, probably threw our code away, fucking +13 hours a day, 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, almost no fun for a whole week after finals, and they think no one deserves to win. Fuck them, fuck their shit contest. Fuck you essensys, I hope your devs read this, fuck you bell ends.5 -
Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?
Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌
Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗7 -
Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.7
-
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
Get a call from a customer asking if I can come check out her “printer”. Okay...
Get there and it’s not just a printer but an embroidery machine - never worked on them in my life and I’m not embarrassed to admit that.
I express that to her but tell her that I’ll definitely check it out and I get the reply - “you own a repair shop and have never worked on one of these, I don’t feel comfortable with you working on it.” - even though she had tried “fixing it” and completely fucked up the application and printer moreso than when it had originally stopped working.
Alright, bitch... I’m sorry that I haven’t worked on every fucking embroidery machine that’s ever been made. I apologize that I’m not familiar with your fucking machine, but if you would give me some time I assure you I can resolve your fucking problem; I imagine it’s (l)user error anyway. But no, you go ahead and send it off to the company that made it with a minimal charge of XXX$ and let them resolve your problem.
Yes, I run a computer/printer/phone repair shop, but that doesn’t automatically mean that I specialize in your FUCKING problem, but I can assure you I’d handle it.
Her - “You’re going to charge me when you didn’t even work on it?!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but I drove out here expecting to work, you declined the work; but there’s still a charge for having me come out here. Yes, you will be getting a bill. If you’d like me to work on it and help you resolve the problem, I’d be more than happy to.”
Her - *rolls eyes*
FUCK YOU!!!!
Ndjehwizoofjdnahsicofjrbwbajncncjsjwnbsb1 -
typos are ok if you can still understand what one is trying to say.
if your typos interfere with understanding, THEN FUCKING CORRECT THEM.
I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TELL IF YO MEANT "…" OR "." WHEN YOU TYPE ".."
DID YOU FUCKING PRESS IT TWICE BY ACCIDENT OR DID YOU MEAN TO TYPE THREE PERIODS?
FUCK YOUUUUUU4 -
Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!16
-
The power of saying fuck you to apple to become a supporter when you have both android and iPhone.
5 -
You blame ME because your cocksucking brain isn’t able to configure YOUR fucking client’s printers correctly, and then you come to me as gentle as a dickless goat to help you out because “something screw up”
Fuck you.
Fuck your printers.
Fuck your brain.
Fuck your RDS Server.9 -
Fuck you BT, charge me £80 for phone and internet, then only give me 50% of your advertised speeds that cuts out at random points then when I complain tell me you'll look into it but if you find any issues within my property I have to pay for the fixing of all issues with my line inside and outside the property not to mention the over £100 call out fucking cost!!! Plus you were fucking charging me £6.99 a month for BT fucking Sport that I don't watch and that I was told on 3 occasions was fucking free for the last 3 years!!! Again I will reiterate FUCK YOU BRITISH TELECOMS11
-
Fuck the guy that chose the colors for MonoDevelops Solarized Dark Theme!
Guess on which of the two screenshots below I selected some text in the middle of the line and on which one I didn't.
Fucking morons!
10 -
there's this club at my school, called STEM, and another called "science olympiad." both are pretty cringey, bad, or boring. science olympiad was just for the college credit. during the intro to the club, they said there was a coding section. "game on!" is what they dubbed it as, where basically you're timed to make a game in scratch. i'm fucking tired of it. why is scratch considered programming? don't get me wrong, i'll write an OS in PHP before i say code.org is better than scratch, but fuck it. its a fucking interpreted language that's interpreted by another interpreted language. i don't understand why this shit is still used. scratch isn't good. please codecademy or w3schools or just write in binary directly, but not scratch. my hand hurts from dragging and dropping, my eyes hurt from the light theme, my imaginary cat committed suicide after learning about scratch's mascot. fuck it. now onto stem club, fuck it too. not for being bad (well, kinda), but for not being more recognized. it should be above science olympiad, and other clubs because you actually have to think instead of just memorize. but alas, we still were offered the choice of scratch to program the robot. sigh. arduino much? i guess not. challenging much? nope. was i elected "leader"? with three of my friends out of the eight there, i could have been, but no. effort in this would be depressing.
-
school is TERRIBLY designed.
why the FUCK are our grades dependent on EFFORT and NOT KNOWLEDGE.
im sick and tired of kids who scribble on homework and fail tests but still get a's, while i ace tests but dont do any homework.
how long ago was it that school was about LEARNING. to gain knowledge. kids who dont SHOULD NOT GET GOOD GRADES.
fuck you🖕16 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
6 -
Fuck this shitty day seriously. So I'm the only frontend on my team and our team lead knows some frontend from 6 years ago or something I guess and doesn't really understand that modern frontend is fucking complicated.
So now he decided that we are going to use some shitty protocol that is not json to communicate between frontend and backend just so they don't have to build a stupid controller and a simple API on fucking shit ass Java.
I told him it's a bad decision that brings no benefit since it has no easy integration with any popular frontend library, we are locking ourselves up to this solution so new people that come in are going to need to learn this shit just so they can communicate to the backend, we have absolutely no need to do this I'm just working on simple CRUDS anyway and the only thing this will bring Is pain in the frontend.
He just ignored me and say no no it's going to be easy so let's just do this. Bitch I was hired because I know my shit, if you're going to make a big decision like this just because you don't want to write a fucking simple API and some swagger documentation you can fucking burn in hell and don't deserve your position.
This kind of issues just perpetuate the eternal problem of frontend vs backend instead of just working as a team. Why do backenders think they're smarter than anyone that does frontend or that frontend is worthless? I don't go and tell them how to build their microservices or anything like that since I assume they know what they're doing and I respect their work, why can't I get the same? What is this fucking shit, why do I have to suffer because of this guy? Why can't we find a middle ground.
While we are here, also fuck monorepos and companies trying to copy google or Facebook just because without actually thinking of solving a problen16 -
Don't you just love it when you ask Hibernate to fetch some data from DB and it does that for you.?And also updates a few more tables on its way. And inserts a few more rows. And updates another couple of fields..
Isn't that just amazing? I mean.. What could be more satisfying than getting an "ORA-00001: unique constraint (some.constraint) violated" while issuing a FUCKING **GET** METHOD?5 -
How come it is so hard to find good developers. Have been doing interviews for a couple of weeks now (for a senior PHP developer role).
First round is me talking about the function and company, asking questions about candidates experience, wishes and we usually end in some tech conversations. Most of the resumes I got are pretty fucking good. I mean, experience with low-level languages, experience with the problems we need to solve here, contributions to open-source, experience in R and MathLab etc etc. On paper they look perfect.
For the second round I give them an assessment which they can do at home on their own machine in their own time. It's not a hard one, just some mathmatical problems they need to solve. A quick google GIVES the answer (no joke!!). But that's OK, I look at their code cleanliness, proper use of commenting so I can determine if they are solo-developers or fit good in a team and if they abstract repeated functions and make sure that they take their work seriously, you know the drill.
It pisses me off that I get BROKEN FUCKING CODE WHICH DOES NOT EVEN RUN and that I get code back which I look at and makes me vomit instantly, I mean, DO YOU EVEN TAKE YOUR PROFESSION SERIOUS? How dare you to ask for 50k the year, a lease-car, extra bonusses AND YOUR FUCKING CODE SPITS OUT COMPLETLY WRONG ANSWERS OR DOES NOT EVEN RUN WHAT THE FUCK DUDE GO BACK TO FROM WHICH EVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT AND STOP WASTING OTHER PEOPLES TIME WITH YOUR FUCKING INCOMPENTENCE...19 -
!dev
Whoever the fuck wit coded the entire system for the university/college application information portal over here in my country needs to be hung, shot, hung again and shot.
It's **ABSOLUTE FUCKING GARBAGE** on the design. First we have the search box. It literally takes a good 20 seconds to query 1000 entries at low traffic and 3 MINUTES at high traffic. Bad enough? Because it would also take that long to give you a table of search result which is, I shit you not, identical to the drop-down results you get while typing except rendered inside a <table></table> with some overlay!
Oh, did I mention it didn't have partial match? Yea, IT DIDN'T. For example, "John Hurr Doe City" would not match "John Hurr Doe city" just to piss you off. And then we have the fuckers that do this:
- University A John Hurr Doe city
- University B JHD City
- University C JHD city
That and no partial match. Yea. It's BS.
Also. if you wanna search again after view a school, you have to press "Back", the physical "Back" of the browser. Fair, it's good, but if you press anything other than that button, welll, you're fucked although lightly.
The cherry on top of the rant cone? The whole thing is made by the studentfucking Ministry of Education and Training, the mother of overlord of students. Yea. The fucking Ministry itself. Really. You wanna go "catch up with the world and master the 4.0 Industrial Revolution" and yet you can't fucking code the site properly. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your horse you're riding and probably fuck you as well.
Sorry for getting slightly political at the end, the damn page is getting on my nerve. -
Microsoft's business suite is much better than Google's business suite.
If not for Google's monopoly in consumer market, MS would have easily taken over the consumer space as well. No wonder this company is acing their game in B2B space.
I can see myself migrating to MS ecosystem because fuck YouTube and Google Maps. MS has everything better now.
You know what MS did right?
They heard herd.
And this is what annoys me about Google. A company arrogant and adamant in their own approach that they even refuse to acknowledge a user's existence.6 -
Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...
Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!
PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Have I missed something?6 -
I fucking hate stupid accountants!
Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.
First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!
They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.
Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!
I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.
I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!12 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
I FUCKING HATE THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM FOR SUGGESTED POSTS TO EXPLORE.
You piece of shit; I have NEVER EVER looked at pictures of nature, but I get a shit load of suggested pictures of nature. Can't forget the time they spammed it with memes in a random language I can't read.
OH. AND LETS NOT FORGET YOUR TIMELINE ALGO. IT'S JUST AS SHITTY.
"Hmm. Let him see a picture posted a few minutes ago or one from a week ago? Fuck it, a week ago it is!"7 -
FUCK YOU MS SQL!
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT MAKING ME WRITE 60 FUCKING COLUMN NAMES BY HAND WILL STOP ME FROM COPYING AN ID?
Yeah it actually will but fuck you. I want to merge data and you make this work a pain in the ass.
Bunch of cunts.9 -
So I flew to California Saturday to see my daughter. It was fun, and I was glad to see her.
Now, when I bought my tickets, I got a flight that landed at 11:30pm, allowing me to sleep on the plane a bit, drive home, sleep more, and then wake up at 6am for work.
Well, that went out the window. Fuck you Southwest, Fuck you.
(I'm currently on layover in Phoenix)
-
*Sorry, the password must have only 8 characters and must include a letter, number and a special character*
Fuck you!2 -
God I wish it was legal to kill people... Taxi driver stopped outside the building.. on the street, not even parked, bur there are many empty spaces that he is also blocking - which would be another issue with these assholes during the day time..parking in the street, going to get some coffee, not the takeaway.. they sit on their fat asses and watch you struggle to park a car cuz it's a narrow street..
And now he's blasting music at full volume.. It's fucking 4 am!! 04:04!! Friggin birds aren't even up yet!!
Fuck you!! One day that it's not extremely hot here and I could actually sleep..and now I can't cuz this asshole woke me up with music.
Just die you sad excuse of a human being!!14 -
Fuck you Intel.
Fucking admit that you're Hardware has a problem!
"Intel and other technology companies have been made aware of new security research describing software analysis methods that, when used for malicious purposes, have the potential to improperly gather sensitive data from computing devices that are operating as designed. Intel believes these exploits do not have the potential to corrupt, modify or delete data"
With Meltdown one process can fucking read everything that is in memory. Every password and every other sensible bit. Of course you can't change sensible data directly. You have to use the sensible data you gathered... Big fucking difference you dumb shits.
Meltown occurs because of hardware implemented speculative execution.
The solution is to fucking separate kernel- and user-adress space.
And you're saying that your hardware works how it should.
Shame on you.
I'm not saying that I don't tolerate mistakes like this. Shit happens.
But not having the balls to admit that it is because of the hardware makes me fucking angry.5 -
Master/Slave
Fuck you guys. Honestly most of the rants i've read concerning python and their abolishme t of sait terms where fucking butthurt. "What virgin suggested this", "people shouldn't be offended, it's just a name" and so on.
I do agree with every one saying a name shouldn't matter (readability is a different story! However parent/child or producer/consumer IMHO preserve that). So why are you fucking offended when it is changed to parent/child or produver/consumer? Does it affect you in any way? You know there's the `sed` command, plus IntelliJ (and most other IDEs) have a quite good support for renaming/refactoring stuff.
By reacting this way, by beeing offended all you do is proving the point. Words can offend people. I personally don't care how it's called. So far I always used master/slave and didn't think twice about it. But then again if someone of my coworkers or friends would feel threatened by these words, I try to avoid them. Naming diesn't matter to me, nor the compiler. So fuck, if it makes people happy or feeling save then lets change it.
What the fuck do you gain by sticking to those terms anyways?19 -
Code freeze is today but what's this in my inbox an updated spec which needs me to redo everything from scratch again.
Kindly go fuck yourself. -
Fun fact: Windows loads faster than Autodesk Maya does :/
(By loading I mean going from zero to responsive and usable)4 -
!dev
Fuck you google!!
Let me send a mail to my shitty internet service provider with abusive words as much as possible.
Fucking gmail rejecting my message as spam by content filtering.6 -
Long story short,
Fuck programmers who call them selves entrepreneurs (pronounced in French), I'm going to entre-preneur my dick in your fucking worthless calculator you piece of camel cum!!!5 -
Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.7
-
Fffuuuck you Nvidia, you worthless piece of shit company. There's a part of the world that doesn't use Windows. Grow the fuck up. Torvalds gesture makes complete sense when you get a new kickass laptop, load kickass fedora 25, but are unable to tap into it's graphic potential. You spend 2 days trying to install the fucking driver. The next day you decide to follow one blogpost instead of 2 and You're forced to reinstall fedora and the cycle repeats. The past 4 days have been painfully unproductive.11
-
Big IT consulting company ask us (small web agency) to develop the "html" code for a web app for their client. (They'll want the front-end to implement it in Cordova or other shit tools they use).
I had to use some "includes" in php, for header and footer, because for 50 pages it'll be tedious to edit a thing (the design is not definitive yet) without open all the .html files individually and replicate the edits in all the pages.
We've delivered the package containing all the pages and a "inc" folder for the header and the footer. The pages have the extension *.php
Their pm ask us why we didn't do it in html, since they expected that.
What the fuck is wrong with you?5 -
small victories... leaving little fuck you notes all over the code..
along with all the test cunts that still get incremented on the production..
-
Just reinstalled Windows to an SSD, so I'm reinstalling MS office. Office 365 is helpfully provided by my university. I also use Visio a good bit, and again my University helpfully provides Visio 2016.
Install Office 365.
Download 2.2GB Visio iso.
Mount Visio iso, run setup.exe.
Get this message.
🖕
10 -
A rant partially inspired by our favorite angry German.
Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck even publish the stories to your fucking website if you're just going to beg me to download your shitty app?
Why don't you download yourself getting fucked by a chainsaw? Now THAT I'd download you fucking assholes.
2 -
Now the following might shock you, read on with caution.
FUCK YOU DEVRANT.
I was writing a beautiful comment, i wrote an eassay you do not find anywhere else, i was about to spread more wisdom than the fucken bible.
Decided to search some stuff to put in some references, change back to devrant anD THE FUCKING APP RESTARTED LIKE IT'S NORMAL TO DO SO. RANT GONE, COMMENT GONE, WILL TO LIVE GONE.
THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING.
but in all honesty, who cares. Not a big deal.7 -
Fuck you Mozilla. You have killed the major unique selling point of FF, that being the add-ons, and replaced them with web extensions that will never even come close. Not enough with that, now you're killing the add-on servers to also kick FF forks into their balls. You stupid bunch of wankers have a history of pretending to know better what your users want, and your plummeting market share shows how much you suck at it.
https://blog.mozilla.org/addons/...19 -
I woke up because someone was calling me to eat something since breakfast is out...
Then I check my email and people were pressuring me to finish project X (won't name because its private)
Oh my god let me catch a fucking break I've been coding nonstop for three days I'd appreciate if I get some leeway and rest? Fucking wankers.4 -
windows update bricked my touchpad.
rebooting bricked my keyboards.
reinstalling windows fixed my keyboards but not my touchpad.
this has been going for a week now.
i'm moving back to linux. maybe i'll try arch this time around.
fuck you microsoft.
ps: my touchpad seems to be permanently bricked.28 -
FUCK THESE FUCKING GPDR! FUCK THESE SITES! FUCK EVERY LITTLE COCKSUCKING BASTARD POPUP!
I click DISAGREE ON EVERY FUCKING POPUP! YET THESE BASTARDS SELL MY DATA LIKE EXOTIC BUTTERS! FUCK THEM ALL!6 -
Fuck you Apple! What the fuck does it mean for you “deactivate WiFi detection until tomorrow”? Does it mean activate it like 5 Minutes later? And why the fuck if I close your fucking WiFi screen choice do you open it up again straight after closing it?
Fuck you.
P.s.: who want an iPhone X at discounted price?9 -
Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6 -
Why can't people be more objective on demands?
These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!
FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH! -
A big, fat FUCK YOU to everyone who pushes out app-updates with generic "Improvements for speed and reliability" changelogs. I hope you and all your descendants, relatives, friends and pets get huge, hairy, painful warts between your buttcheeks that grow larger every day and return after every attempt to have them removed. Fuck you, and fuck your bullshit updates.
And if there are any devs on devRant guilty of this behaviour, fuck you too. I hope your sexual organs rot and fall off, and that you lose all your upvotes.7 -
fuck people who need to be hacked to care about security.
i hope everyone who used that early ap scores gets their credit cards stolen because they don't know how to use a vpn.8 -
Am I the only one who encounters these dickhead teachers, who live in a world, where they think that you have just their subject?
I mean that kind of professor, who shows up 30 minutes late to a lecture, sends you source code with no commetary because fuck you with a rusty fork and tells you that we have no time to write the code during the class?
The one who shows you a shitty presentation with the same code he just sent you, just cut into 72 slides and at every slide tells something like this is pretty self explanatory, x just does y and if you ask a question he gives you that deep stare, like if you really mean it seriously to waste his time, since he really really wants to go to his office sooner so he can scratch his balls?
That type of professor who tells you that as a student of CS degree you are required to put some passion to your craft and study when you arrive at home and hes there just to give you guidelines, but apparently somehow forgotten that people usually need to sleep?
That same cunt who doesnt give a shit that you have 4 more projects to finish this week, doesnt push the deadline, nor give you advice, because you had opporturnity to ask the whole time?
But still that motherfucker, who gives you test questions that he took from mouth of Satan himself and then questions your answers like Where did you get that from?
Well fuck yall who do that shit, hope that you suffocate yourself while eating bread.
Why these douches doesnt understand, that even if we arent under the Working Laws, working more than 40 hours a week isnt the best way to keep us sane or motivated.2 -
Ugggg!
I am about fed up with Windows.
I leave app/programs open at night because I have a bad memory, and they were important to what I was doing.
I wake up: Windows Login Screen. Apparentally windows decided to restart my computer during the night.
Ohh what joy.~
Now I have to rememeber what the fuck I had open - and it was mostly work related.
I would have left for Linux ages ago, but I'm a gamer.. And most of my games are for windows.. Some are even Windows Store Apps..
Windows.. Why don't you give a shit about us..
And before you ask..
I have Auto Updates Disabled (Not that that really fucking matters with windows..)
I have all sleep and power saver settings disabled.14 -
Dear Oracle,
why do I have to have an X server running for your stupid Oracle Database to install?
Why are you sometimes capable of writing good software like VirtualBox, and then fuck up simple tasks like creating a docker image for your fucking Database? (Seriously, try it, you will not be able to set up a simple Oracle Database using their official Dockerfiles)
Also, what makes you think that -4 is the "most appropriate exit status"?!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fuck you really hard you proprietary piece of shit!
7 -
FUCK YOU GITKRAKEN
After all the suggestions in https://devrant.com/rants/1540091 I decided to give Gitkraken a try.
Here's the shitty experience you can expect:
1) It doesn't even ask you where to install it. Turns out, it spontaneously installs itself in "%LOCALAPPDATA%\gitkraken" - who the fuck installs software there??
2) It is "seamlessly integrated with GitLab", except the first time you open it you can only log in with your GitKraken or GitHub account, and NOT with a GitHub one. Just brilliant
3) After logging in, it spontaneously changes your global git username and email config, because fuck you that's why
4) If you have a repo on AWS CodeCommit with an remote that looks like "ssh://git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/...", *after the first push* it will spontaneously change it to "<user>@git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/bla/bla", causing future actions to fail. Because FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY.
And they expect people to pay for this shit, just to be able to manage more than one account at a time (and some "additional features" that are not even listed on the site)?
FUCK OFF, AND FUCK YOU FOR WASTING MY FUCKING TIME, HOW ABOUT I CHANGE YOUR FUCKING SETTINGS TO FUCK YOU22 -
Fuck Google Chrome cache.
For almost an hour, sat and tried to make changes to a react UI but unfortunately nothing's changing. Started to worry and doubt myself.
Even thought of getting myself the yellow duck! But fuck no , little did I realise that Chrome "intelligently" fetched my page from cache even though I was using incognito! Had to re-open the browser to realise that.
How did I find out you ask? I thought why not fucking open the same page in Mozilla . Why? Because why not?! But I still can't believe that I wasted a whole fucking hour due to that piece of shit called cache!18 -
6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.
Deploy on my cell.
Not compatible with android 4.4.4.
FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T33 -
"But using XYX is better and it's not hard to set up!"
No, fuck you and your recommendations.
It's too time consuming to set up that blazing-fast minimalistic modular shit, because I know I'll want to configure it to perfection until I bang my head against my tiny keyboard when I have finally realised that all the config I went througu only achieved the same outcome as the 'bloated' software I was originally using.
So, fuck you.
I'd rather get on with my life and get some work done.
It's not like I wasn't aware of XYZ in the first place; I'm not using it because I know what's more important to get my shit done.2 -
Ok I know there have been a lot of similar rants to this one, but now I have to write one by myself!
Fuck freelancer.com or whatever that shit is called. I once started using it when I was in school because I thought it was a convenient way to earn money on the side without fixed work times, so I could adjust to how much time I have. But soon I realized that wouldn't happen. It is easy for me to make a website, I have written some css templates from scratch and can apply them, but when will these cocksucking assholes learn that $25 for a website is not only a joke, but a fucking insult? Or a logo for 4? In his video on fiverr, pewdiepie has a point on the thing where he said that you can shit out a logo in 2min and make an easy 4 to 5 bucks, but I like doing things more properly and I bet those fuckers will give you shit for not designing the perfect logo. I once accepted a job where I ended up busting my ass 3 days log for $100 and I thought that was the normal mess at the beginning, before you have former customers rate your profile, but I got perfect ratings and still didn't get or even find any proper jobs. Most are complete shit, like write a fucking book for me or design a fucking Website or pull a logo out of your ass, but some projects are just rediculous. I once saw a project where they wanted some engineer to do the layout for the pipes in a huge processing plant. Yeah, because engineers are so poor and unemployed, even when they are entrepreneurs they dont go to those shity sites. Since I am actually qualified for such a job, I applied just to see if I could land a job that is actually not shitty, but of course it turned out the person had no idea what he was talking about. It is basically a platform where people can pay you in exposure. And the absolutely fucking worst thing about it is that they get away with it. There are always a ton of people, mostly from countries where cost of life is significantly lower, who flood the freelance market with cheap, presumably horrible logos, mobile apps, websites, texts and apparently pipeline layouts. I haven't found a similar platform but where there are only high quality biddings. But that is something that I would love to use.
Sorry for long rant, no potato.1 -
I think the number 1 reason I hate PHP is not because the language itself is really really really bad; but because it's so easy to google "how to php" and get tons of tutorials (full of shit code) that most of the PHP programmers are bad and have no CS studies whatsoever, resulting in unmantainable tight-coupled pieces of [spaghetti] code that won't even encapsulate any business logic.
Anybody else feeling like changing to a different language a similar reason?5 -
Hey boss,
Here’s a letter for you.
First of all, thank you for the stable job and advantages we have as a small business in the middle of the alps.
Following that, FUCK YOU.
Why? Because of the retarded clients I have to deal with because they’re your friends. Because I have to spend more energy doing fucking politics instead of doing IT. We have people that like t bla bla. Send them, not me.
Close me in a basement with a computer, a bunch of screens, a comfortable chair and a package of cigarettes. I’ll write Google from scratch for you if I need to (not sure I could at all). But please, stop fucking sending me to morons with the same IQ level of a sheep. And sheeps are more clever sometimes.
And last but not the least. Learn to fucking dress accordingly. We’re not in a gay pride but in a business.8 -
@Gerrymandered recently posted a rant, https://devrant.com/rants/1003724/..., and his reasons, which I won't really go into much, are completely legitimate.
We were talking in class and he was getting annoyed with people hating others for actually trying to defend the different flavors or Operating Systems. I've gone into it once or twice, but I feel the need to again. I'm actually going to be blunt this time, unlike my last one:
Linux has its niche. If you like it, then it usually works.
Windows has its niche. Businesses ***typically*** choose it first (with few exceptions, @linuxxx don't even bother coming in here to defend Linux. Love ya and all, but you really piss me off sometimes. Just saying.)
macOS has its niche. If you're a designer, try it. You might be surprised.
Can people shut the fuck up with the constant bashing of every single OS in existence with a focus seemingly on Windows? We get it, the dev community LOOOOOOOOOOVES to fucking hate Windows. Who doesn't? It can be broken as hell, but for a lot of purposes, it works. If I want to use Windows, then let me, and if you complain that because I'm a techie or anything that I can't use it, please go fuck yourself with a moldy rusty fork left out in a hurricane 20 years ago.
That is all.10 -
sudo rm -rf *
Just started out on linux, learning the ins and outs. All I wanted to do was remove two directories. Thankfully it was a fresh install, didn't lose anything important.
A valuable lesson was learned that day. 😂2 -
Reading book about sapiens history. It turned out we are slaved by wheat. Fucking plant conquered this world using humans as a tool. Fuck You wheat then, burn in hell.8
-
I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^1 -
Yesterday i was in class and a classmate came at me asking for help, w/e.. I'm not listening this teacher.. let's check.
« show me the code »
She shows me, now I'm blind.
Full garbage! Tons of php function in the same file, mixed oop and procedural and.. all the js is printed via those php function, yup, everywhere you can see <?php print 'some shitty js' ?>
Fuuuuuuckkkkkk you. Not gonna touch it, please tell the guy who wrote it to fuck himself with a frozen vomit stick @not my injure. -
The other day, I accidentally broke the R key on my laptop keyboard. The mechanism still works, but the keycap no longer locks in
I go to buy a replacement, since it's really messing with my typing flow, and I find out it costs 7 USD per keycap, plus shipping. That means that to replace every key on my keyboard, it would cost me about $680!!
I only paid about $500 for the ENTIRE FUCKING LAPTOP AND YOU'RE GONNA CHARGE ME $7 FOR A SINGLE FUCKING KEY!!! FUCK YOU ASUS!!!4 -
TLDR: coworkers are worst than clients on delivery
The endless script last part, or where I want to rip the vocal chords out of my coworker’s throat.
Delivered “quickly” last Friday night as he was stressing me, because it was urgent, because he started shit I had to refactor, because I have better shit to get done.
It’s also important to note that this “senior” sysadmin wrote requirements as follows : told me orally what he needed between a gasp and another and drew me something that looked like a diagram but without real sense. I told myself -Well, let’s get this pile of cow shit together.
Anyway, it required some amount of time to put his giant shit mix of powershell and batch together, also it was quickly but it was tested and it worked on different conditions that I specifically wrote out and designed to have menus where you can’t do shit (like putting a string on a number input).
Today he comes to me and asked if it was ready and I told him it was usable. He tries it, doesn’t know how to use it, abandons it. Then he tells me he doesn’t work how “required” and after 5 Minutes on telling Shit I tested on the exact same server, he said “well my version was ok but you know I could have been more precise”
YOU INORGANIC PILE OF PIGEON SHIT. THE FUCKING SCRIPT IS WORKING, IS REFACTORED AS IT SHOULD AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND A CRAP ABOUT THE FUCK YOU’RE EXECUTING.
Seriously, come tell me that you can’t see what happens. I did explicit every fucking command out for you, I even bothered to put fucking Write-Host everywhere with Colors just for your fucking sake taste.
Go fuck a pillow with your biker sunglasses.
And no, the way you cut your beard doesn’t make me think you’re 15 years younger, it makes me think you’re the kind of guy I would not accept candies outside a school.
P.s.: don’t accept candies even if the guy looks nice.1 -
Apple: "We're justified in taking 30% of all our customer's in-app purchasing revenue because we've implemented an awesome super-secure in-app payment system"
Me, after spending the last week wrestling with Apple's shitty, horrible, unbelievably obtuse, poorly documented system for handling subscription renewals and having to write my own god damn crypto shite for reading receipts: "You're shitting me, right?"
What a complete scam.1 -
Alright sit down boys this is gonna be a good tale (also a long one).
I'm currently developing a wordpress site for a Client. Everythings works well enough, I had a few "wtf is this shit" moments. Now we decided to give him access to the wp site so that he can see and change (I know, I know don't judge me pls), so I set up tunneling with ngrok, but that PIECE OF SHIT WP DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. You asking why? Oh I'm telling you why, wp uses ONLY absolute paths. Well fuck, I ain't gonna touch that piece of shit php code, so I installed a plugin and shit was working.
In short, after a few fucking HOURS that shit finally worked. Well that would be a great fucking end for our little tale right? Yeeeeaaah no, I shit you not, it gets even better!
After a few days my client gets back at me that he can't enter fucking wp-admin to work on the text an stuff (again pls don't judge me for granting him access to the backend of wp during development). So I checked it out and that piece of shit didn't work. If anyone would happen to know why, I would be grateful bc for the love of spagetti monster I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
So I said to myself well fuck this shit and put it on a webhoster. Uploaded all the files, and migrated the db. Sounds like it finally worked right? Well guess again buddy. So I needed to go to the database, updated values manually for wp to have the correct url and then still needed to force it to refresh every fucking link.
As it finally works now, this tale is also finished then and I really hope that part 2 is never ever comming!
Sorry for the (somewhat) long rant but this is some next generation bullshit. -
Fuck you sysadmin, what makes you think that running a complete antivirus scan everyday at fucking 11am is a good idea?
What the fuck can I do with the fucking 5% CPU available? Should I play fucking Pong in an emulator? Write the story of my life with notepad?
Go hang yourself on an Ethernet câble in your fucking server room, you fucktard cunt.12 -
So in the last 2 hours I felt both frustrating and happiness, because of Xcode and code signing.
So what I did yesterday was removed all the Xcode certificates on my keychain because I had major issues getting the newest version of the certificates despite have auto signing enabled.
Without much notice until going to send the iOS app today through Fabric I came across an error while uploading the newest build :/
Googling it I found the same issue on stack overflow with only two answers one being fastlane, which just automated the process to the same error LOL
So anyways I found the solution and was quite happy about it :D I had to go to the apple developer website and download the right certificate DESPITE the auto signing ...
Anyways uploaded and done!
Also added a stack overflow answer in regards to it, I hope it helps someone out.
Oh and I emailed fabric to ask for help and 30 mins later emailed them basically saying NVM fixed it! Lol
Fuck you Xcode lol -
Android is fucking fucked up.
Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,
React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?
And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.
Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.
Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.
9 -
Have you ever prepared some of those cup noodles in the middle of the night and paired it with some cheap energy drink to get that old "back when I was a teenager and passionate about this shit" feeling back? Maybe get those cardboard McDonald's or some fastfood shit you can afford when you were a student?
Remember those thesis days when you can re-write an entire application in one night and now you have a simple task where you basically just have to copy/paste shit together and your response is "This is dumb, it's gonna take 13 days and 69 minutes. Also, I'm gonna be sick for 78 days, could be COVID, maternity, paternity, hemorrhoids, whatever."
Then you realize that carbs make you sleepy and caffeine has stopped working for your jurassic body since you've reached the ripe old age of 20 and became a MILF. Now you need Anlene or Diabetasol, whatever those things are. You want pomade on your hair while you dream of salmon and brocolli. You need viagra even for your brains, wooh.
Now you say, "Fuck this, it's bed time" at 10PM, woah granny, you forgot about cOdEcAdEmY. Are you ready to settle down to an IBM job and ping IP addresses or something? You gonna retire?2 -
Fuck LinkedIn
Fuck their closed API
Microsoft always steals your PRIVATE info, but is scared of us using their PUBLIC info
Fucking morons
I can just use selenium and still have all the info I need
Then why the fuck would you close API to approved only
Can't you just track the traffic????7 -
School's principle: *is being unclear of what is asked*
Me: *asks lots of questions to try to understand*
SP: *keeps being unclear*
Me: *think I understand, I'll do something that will match with what I'm supposed to do*
-- 2 days before due date --
SP: omg stop it's not that at all
Me: wait wtf you told me that 3 months ago
SP: yOu uNdersdtoOd wHat yOu WaNtEd, tHat'S a ProBlEm yOu rEaLLy nEed To fiX
HOW ABOUT YOU GO AND DIE SOMEWHERE YOU SON OF A BITCH
Now I have until monday to write 30 fucking pages of something that keeps making no fucking sense. FUCK !2 -
My phone just randomly started installing "instant apps" by itself even though my settings are explicitly set to not auto download update anything. It's not even visible in my installed apps to remove. After a quick search it seems like Google is forcibly rolling out a new feature. If I wasn't looking at my phone I wouldn't have known. Thanks for eating my mobile data.10
-
Don't you just love how you have to clone the whole 40GB library's repo, load it in your IDE and hook that IDE's debugger to your app, because some moron developing that turd decided to mute an exception?
Thanks God the lib is opensource. Otherwise I'd have to jdb without any sources, which sounds like a lot of days of a lot of fun (y) -
My leader was yelling at me cause i couldn't relate two tables, the first has a decimal(15,5) PK and the second has char(20) as a FK.
WELL TELL ME HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I RELATE THEM YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT ??
Decimal !!! I could not believe my fucking eyes ! And Fuck keeping the clients satisfied!
Well, sorry, i just wanted to let it out.1 -
Fuck DuckDuckGo!
Is this is what you "privacy savyy" like to get? Irrelevant content. WTF?! Such a waste of time. I'm selling my soul back to Google. Fuck your opinion.21 -
I absolutely fuckin hate sysprep!!!
Fuckin mother fuckin shit cock balls saggy tits wrinkled ass cunt3 -
The ability to automate my day, create my own apps and modify open source ones to fit with my conditions :)
-
Just got a lovely update on Windows 10. It pops up on login and informs me of this great new browser called edge. Then it fucking takes over the screen and gives me one fucking option: "Get Started". I cannot escape, I cannot close the app, I cannot right click the app icon on the toolbar and close this POS. My only option is to fucking ctrl-alt-del and kill this piece of garbage. You also cannot uninstall this shit either. I even found a thread where the MS guy was trying to help them uninstall, but the end result is that you cannot on newer Windows 10. So I have this POS thing that keeps updating flash and other shit periodically that is nothing but a security hole. Now I never want to ever run this garbage.
The irony is this. I have read a lot of good things about Edge. I was considering it as an alternative to Chrome for specific use cases. Now I absolutely no longer want to run this fucktard pos software. This one experience has now tarnished any gains MS has in the browser arena. It is just more overbearing malware being pushed by assholes. Tech these days is defined by assholes. Apple is assholes, Google is bigger assholes, and MS is still the classic assholes.
Microsoft LET ME FUCKING JUST WORK! Is this not the pro version or what?
Fuck you edge and your pos os.
Now I feel better!
Edit: That was a rendition of the evil caption Kirk from episode 27.10 -
Wow I really feel with you my dear Java developers.
Since I am working on a Custom Launcher for devCraft I now know how bad gradle is.12 -
Context: New to typescript. Writing a thing, doing it for work, good opportunity to stretch my dev legs. Using a propriety lib, alternatives not an option.
Rant begin:
SOOOO, who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea:
1. Lib has minified react in dev (because closed source) meaning no downstream errors AND the entire premise of the lib is that a widget is a react component, so I'm writing typescript react the entire time without downstream errors
2. SHIT docs. By that, I mean there's an API reference page that's so sparse there's literally a set of CRUCIAL interfaces that only say the word 'Interface' on them. That's it. that's what i get. It's an interface. NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK, what the fuck is it though? What's its purpose? Is it an interface for a dog? A dog that has a 'shit' property? or a cat? or a cat eating dog shit? Nobody fucking knows - the docs sure as fuck don't care.
3. No syntax highlighting - editors, IDEs (i've tried a few) can't even find the lib inside this environment, so Code and everything else thinks I'm importing shit that doesn't even exist - so no error prediction, code completion based on syntax of the library, none of that.
4. There are some EXTREMELY basic samples - these samples exclusively use React classes - no function components, no hooks, nada - just classes and even perfect replicas of the sample code display erratic behavior like errors about missing props, so that's mostly FUCKING USELESS
5. And this... this is where the straw breaks the fucking camel's back... there's no... there's no hot reloading... Do you know what that (in conjunction with the previous 4 fuckups) means?
When I write anything or I fuck up (which of course I'm doing every time I write half a line because how the fuck?) I have to restart the client and server EVERY FUCKING TIME and manually test to see if the error (THAT ONLY GETS REPORTED IN THE LOCAL UI) is gone or different.
Then, once I see the error, it isn't an error: it's the minified React error-decoder link and guess what? It isn't really clickable a link OR copyable, meaning that every FUCKING time I get a new error, I have to MANUALLY TYPE A FUCKING 50 CHAR URL TO FIND OUT A GENERIC REACT ERROR MESSAGE WITHOUT A LINE NUMBER OR ANY FUCKING CONTEXT. I HAVE TO DO THIS CONSTANTLY TO SEE IF ANYTHING I'M DOING EVEN WORKS.
6. There's no github to complain to the maintainers or search for issues because it's NOT FUCKING OPEN SOURCE so there is literally nothing to be fucking done about it.
This is due in a week and a half, found out about it last Friday. How's your day going?
PS: good to be back after a long respite from dev ranting.1 -
It is so funny how this PM got dizzy when I started detailing all the possibilities of her generic requirements and asking for clarification and we started drawing how the fuck she wants in to be.
But "just put all data on the report" should be simple, right?
Not a 2 hours discussion on one topic out of 10, right?
Not.3 -
$ rails new [old side project but this time I will finish it (sikes)]
$ cd [project]
[ Inserting "gem 'webpacker' ~> '3.0.0'" in Gemfile ]
$ bundle install
$ rails webpacker:install
$ rails webpacker:install:react
node_modules weights 97.4 mo 🙄3 -
Fucking EA Games and their fucking shit mailing system!!
All the sudden they start spamming me emails about their shit games nobody fucking cares about. I proceed to inspect the footer to find an 'unsubscribe' link and there was none, just a 'manage my preferences' link.
So I went there. After waiting a whole minute for a simple page to load (wtf) there is a checkbox saying 'yes please spam my inbox with EA's latest news about their shit games nobody cares about' and it was UNCHECKED.
So I leave it unchecked and click update (thinking it might actually unsubscribe me from this crap) BUT NO! I receive another email saying 'thank you, you stupid moron you just subscribed to our shit and will now receive even more of our useless email about how different the new NFS is and how rubbish the new Star wars game is...
FUCK4 -
So I came to work today and I tought I'll go home earlier today. BUT WINDOWS DECIDED TO INSTALL ANNIVERSARY UPDATE.4
-
Which fucking cunt keeps thinking putting redo on ctrl+shift+z or some other retarded shortcut is a good idea
Lost a whole paragraph of technical explanation because I didn't realize and then couldn't redo my panic undo 😠11 -
My fucking internet is so fucking bad, I get 2K/s download. I would like to know what the fuck is up with that but the isp's website doesn't load. I have no mobile data left and WhatsApp messsnges take minutes to send. For fucks sake this doesn't feel like 21st century germany.1
-
Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...
Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.
So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...1 -
TLDR; read the last alinea, my train just arrived and I am typing this after the resr of the rant
So lately there's been a lot of hate on here to PHP, which for now I'd say feel offended if you want to, but fuck all of the guys hating on a language without personal experience or even just plain "I used it for a week or less"-experience.
Noticed I said "a", yes I am not just talking about hate on PHP. It's pretty much the stupidest thing one can do, exclude a programming language you might like more than you will think at this moment. I present to you; My first few weeks of internship last year.
So last year I had to find a company to do an internship at with two classmates, none of them replied with a come over for a talk except a company mainly working in Laravel (PHP).
All of us didnt like php at the time, me possibly even hating it the most, but that didnt keep us from taking the leap of faith and just going to the company for a talk, I mean it couldnt hurt right?
So after the talk we had a place for an internship, which we all thought we were all going to hate, because of PHP.
Now a few weeks into the internship (3 / 10 weeks I'd say) we had basically just gotten done with the first setup of the project we had to build. And we noticed after a good 2 or 3 weeks that it didn't feel like too much of a different language.
Personally I even found it better than C# or Java, which were the only other languages I knew at the time.
Now keep in mind I still like C# and Java, allthough guven the chance I'll choose PHP everyday over both.
But I learned more things I was expecting to learn those 10 internship-weeks, with the one thing I am writing about being the main focus:
Stop hating, try the language out for at least a week (yes 5 * 8 hours) and then make an educated decission based on your findings throughout the week, you might be surprised...6 -
ffs windows I should be the one who dictates when you update, fuck you.
Honestly, the best thing I've done this year was switching to Linux, the difference is astronomical.7 -
Name a shittier API to hook into than Magento's REST API.
Protip: You can't.
[bit of context]
Building 3rd party integrations via their REST API and keep unearthing "WTF?!" architectural design moments. For example: Pulling down products tells you if it has a configurable parent (product to store all master options, etc)... but fuck me if I want to know what the sku of that parent is, or any other means of accessing it!
How the fuck M2 is such a major eCommerce platform is beyond me. WooCommerce in comparison however: Beautiful API, Beautiful documentation, a couple of limitations, no big deal. I love WooCommerce.
M2 makes me question why the hell I became a dev sometimes.2 -
Waiting at a client's office..
Fuck him seriously why make me come here if he's busy and let me wait here! I'm not his slave for God sake! :@2 -
So, we have 1 humor left today to fix this and tomorrow morning the Taitaja competition starts and we need this and 3 other servers with same issue working. Well fuck
Windows also says that the Drive where windows is installed is locked, please unlock the drive
12 -
I swear I will KILL the next one who comes to me to pimp up his excel sheet WITH FUCKING VBA -.-
This shit is so annoying.... Just because I started my apprenticeship and need to learn everything like a 3 year old kid...
Get me outta here! -
this rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1622672/...
made me realise since I was little, I wanted to register
- my_surname.com (its a Hungarian name but there is a french comic strip on the site lol)
- then i wanted to register my_surname.sk since I'm from Slovakia (nope someone has a chain of petrol stations with this name)
- well its awkward but lets do my_surname.eu (my surname is the name of a traditional Hungarian needlework so no fuck you)
- ok, I'm a Hungarian so lets do my_surname.hu (well fuck you i wont even load, but I'm already taken so..)5 -
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
else
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3 -
Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1 -
GOOGLE, I WANT TO FUCK YOUR ASS, WHY THE HELL THE NEWER VERSIONS OF ANDROID ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO OPEN THE FUCKING WEB APPS ON LOCAL NETWORKS, THE SAME APP IS ACCESSIBLE FROM IOS AND FUCKING ANDROID CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE CORRECT DNS OF THE LOCAL IP ADDRESS BECAUSE YOU DROPPED IPV4 SUPPORT YOU ASSHOLES.6
-
Me: Let's create a project!
* writes initial code *
Homework: Fuck you, complete me first.
* completes homework *
Me: Let's push it to GitHub and NPM!
School: You will do that tommorow's afternoon, now go to shower.
* writes this rant *
btw a project is upcoming, it's not a web app, but it has regexp -
Fuck amazon
Bought a 1080p portable monitor
They sent a 768p screen...
What even is that resolution
Just Wtf
And if you put it up on its side like advertised you can't see shit if if you look at an angle
Also the fucking cable doesn't fit right and disconnects if you blow at it
Piece of shit - last time I bought on Amazon
3 -
http://ipkitten.blogspot.com/2018/...
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS LEGAL?! This isn't even their fucking research! So much of this was either done decades before they existed, or done by others. In the first place, since when can you patent fucking math?! Sure we haven't seen the full patents but they should focus on specific implementations if anything and the titles clearly do not reflect that.
So much for "don't be evil", fuck Google -
The same people who are afraid of their data stolen by websites are totally fine with adding a phone number on take away websites.
What the fuck?
I hate it. It's a mandatory field. I don't know my phone number and if you call me there I won't even see it. If you can't deliver my order it must be my fault and so be it.16 -
My last week of 2017 sucks! The function that been assigned to me has been 7 months until i doing it without any priority tasks. The bad for this, is becoming worse for the clients and they really want it until the end of 2017, so happy new year motherfuckers.
Here's the story, the function i am doing requires a heavy calculations, and i am no brainer in math, though my logical skills, hopes me up to made it quickly as possible. However i am full of workloads/to-do for the past 3 months, that i am unable to comply my documents regarding my employment!!
Much worse for this is the coding guidelines. There no fucking guidelines at all, like do what i want just to make it work, but my team lead ironically speaking that never touch that because it's already working. Dude, the server response was the real issue there and i was supposed to handle that function because your fucking json was not formatted well! Shout out to git for giving me a saving grace not to fire me.
Lastly, the leader's attitude. You're so sarcastic as fuck! Of course i won't get mad at you on personal matters, i understand. But on work, the way you communicate was not like my any mentor/prof that i ever met!! I hate my fucking work. Hope my 2018 would do my best, AND I AM GONNA MAKE MY OWN GUIDELINES ACCORDING TO YOUR ASSES!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, GODDAMNIT!! -
I actually want to rant and pitch a product idea here:
So I am furious when i found out Gravit Designer made offline mode premium only, seriously what the fuck. And Figma is getting no progress for the offline mode either - even lacking grids that I need (I might do isomorphic and I also need grids to keep things aligned).
To be honest I liked Figma more now than Gravit (screw you Corel for fucking up a great platform). So that's why I want to do something similar to Gravit Designer, universal and all, works in browsers, without the forced paywall in my face.
I always forsee premium as a way to add features to products when you need it, and as a way to let a developer know they're doing a good job. I want to make this kind of model stick, and it seems with the money-hungry fuckwits of Corel on Gravit, it ain't happening.
So that's why I want to build an designer app that does what Gravit does, except, I want premium to be more ethical, giving all the core features, add more customizabilty to the interface, and actually make the designer workbench yours. Heck, if its possible we can have Google Drive/Nextcloud integration as well for those who want cloud saves.
I badly want to do this because I believe someone out there shares my sympathy. Gravit was a nice product but was ruined by Corel's greedy paywall system. I won't be paying 99 monthly just to get offlline mode. Affinity and Figma's model is better.
Corel you fucking suck1 -
Fuck this fucking shit...
Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...
I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...
Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...
Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...
Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...
What a happy first festival day...5 -
I hate it when an opinion is valued by someone seniority.
Sure, you might not like react, fine, but if your only argument for that is it being built by Facebook, you're just an ass.
Sure, you might not like node, fine, but if your only argument for that is your prejudice towards javascript , you're just an ass.
Normally this guy is pretty nice, but fuck you for talking about shit you don't understand6 -
Finally did it!
Replaced my desktop pc (which I use for gaming) which had Windows 7 with Arch Linux! It was not hard because I already use it on my laptop.
OK it was a bit struggle with nvidia and cinnamon due to missing libraries I had to install which I don't know before.
But it is possible to play games on Arch?
Yes definitely!
CS:GO - works (native, steam)
League of Legends - works (wine)
World of Tanks - works (wine)
All I need is working (:2 -
Fucking group projects fuck them oh so much fucking fuck fuck fuck.
What's that? You want to basically ignore the spec and do something else? Fuck.
Wait, let's not use the great resources given to us? Fucking fuck.
Oh, you're just going to ignore the fact that everyone else disagrees with you? Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am so angry. You don't get to railroad your team.
You fucker. Ugh. -
And so begins week 3 of 5 without full computer access. I'm able to do some research needed but I'm still very limited. The only programs I can use are IE11, and the three basic MS Office programs. Oh well... at least I'm still getting paid by the hour1
-
"The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets",
that being said, I'm struggling with repetitive code, bad indention and illogical logic.
So yeah, I agree with this saying -
Was rushed to write a crappy massmailing for super urgent newsletter, had to be finished in 20 minutes. Last 5 minutes i had to rewrite half of it. Told them its rushed, testet and crappy.
Mailed the stuff anyway. Every Email got the same dynamic string in subject.
Looked at code, was setting the subject 2 lines above the loop.
Sorry guys, dont rush me next time2 -
So I cant resize the window and I can't scroll down anymore... Where the fuck is "below" so I can turn "off" data collection 😤
2 -
FUCK YOU MyThemeShop FUCK YOU with your shitty licensing solution. I'm just trying to develop a fucking wordpress site on my own fucking local computer. Why TF will you not allow me to fucking sign into my own account. all it fucking does is infinitely load and it does not do fucking anything. you advertise 24/7 support but it takes your fucking bitch ass support team over 10 hours to reply to my dead fucking simple email. ALSO why the fuck can I not change what domain my theme goes to from the online panel. I'm trying to fucking use ngrok and now i cant because it is by domain and not by site. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LAME ASS FUCKING COMPANY GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH.7
-
Fuck you and your new shitty 2018 JavaScript framework built on top of another shit pile of brainfuck libs.
Best Regards.1 -
Its festive season. Half of the team mates are on leave. Servers are down. No work can be done. Office looks life less ( which it always is). Boss asking why didnt you take leave. Yes because your free time off is almost zero. I need money. People being happy and getting in relationship/married. I am a fucking loner here.
Dragging my ass across the hallway like a ass fucked zombie. Typing this rant with a grumpy face. And people say monday blues are worst.
Fuck this emptiness. Fuck servers on maintenance. Fuck these white iridescent bulbs glowing for no reason. Fuck people murmuring around me. Fuck everything which is in my sight. Fuck this depressive fucking festive season.2 -
Was having problems on a VPN where my URL was constantly redirecting to https, after https was disabled, spent ages reconfiguring nginx, removing and adding nginx again with no luck. Eventually said fuck it, backed up everything of importance, destroyed the droplet and spun up a new one. Installed nginx and redone the DNS for the domain only for the same thing to happen. It was at that moment I discovered it was chrome caching the HSTS domain. I now have a long night ahead of me configuring the new droplet and restoring the backup data.
-
I always code when I have no motivation to do other things. I think it will change when I start working :/
-
TL;DR: fuck shitty algorithms!
The Youtube app seems to have a highlights option for your subscriptions. Found out because it activated itself.
Firstly: NEVER FUCKING EVER CHANGE MY FUCKING OPTIONS BECAUSE YOU ADDED A NEW FEATURE. YOU MAY NOTIFY ME AND IF I WANT IT ACTIVATED I AM PROBABLY ABLE TO TOUCH ME SCREEN TWICE AND ACTIVATE IT!
Secondly: Why can't people understand that I don't want any fucking neural networks (except sometimes devrant because the algo is the algo) to tell me what I want to look at, especially if it's on fucking YouTube where I only have to go through a few videos a day? But hey maybe I want to watch that video I didn't want to watch 5 days ago!?
Thirdly: I subscribed to more than two channels and there might be a fucking reason why I subscribed to these channels. Don't show me 5/6 videos not only from the same creator but it's just the last 5 videos from the same series.3 -
Mother of dev. This story is from my beginning with Node.js, some months ago.
WHY THE FUCK EVERY TUTORIAL AND GUIDE PASTES CODE WITHOUT FUCKING EXPLAINING IT?
Ended out literally parsing github to understand simple concepts.
Fuck you, I didn’t pay online classes to copy/pastes. -
So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.1 -
What the fuck?
Did you know you can not copy Windows 10 from let's say a 1TB HDD to a 120GB SSD? It says there is not enough space... sure Windows is currently 30GB big...
FUCK YOU!6 -
Try to upload ipa archive to iTunes. Service is interrupted. Again. Fuck you apple! I was trying to upload that fuck for six damn u punk ass times. Why apple? Fuck you! I'll put the archive on a stick an ram it right into your ass you shitty fuck! JUST TAKE MY BINARY RIGHT NOW!
Don't take it to serious. I'm okay 😎 -
I cannot believe that MS has not thought of something better than UAC... trying to re-install ADConnect after fixing an error, msi shits out 2502/2503 errors even though it worked first time on the original install. The fix, run the msi from an elevated cmd. Come On Microsoft!!!7
-
Rant!
The wilde difference in native support between IE , gecko and WebKit is like difference between a real burger and MacDonald's,
They're both burgers but one will make you happy and the other will give diarrhea and a swollen butthole -
Well fuck Amazon. I am trying to get into my account because for some fucking reason they say my payment method is faulty while they actually write off the subscription of prime of it. But to get into my account I need to login again with 2FA as I have that turned it on. So far so good. But since it's an old phone number I can't login. Well just change the phone number wouldn't you think? Well yes but to change the phone number I need to login in with the old phone number to which I have no longer access 🤦♂️. Eventually found a phone number I could call. I get a lovely lady on the phone which guides me to resetting my password but for that, you guessed it, I need to do the 2FA again. I get send through to the next person as she can't change it for me because of privacy reasons (oh well). That guy first askes the last 4 numbers of my creditcard like 5 times because he can't remember it (write it the fuck down then asshole) then he starts mistaking the 6 for 9 (like how the fuck do you do that) and then the text messages don't come in while I am on the phone with him which he tries to blame to my service provider because they would block Amazon (like why would they do that?). But since I got a text message of them 15 min before I shot that down quickly. Then he finally admitted that they might have a disruption going on. So I think we'll fine I'll just ask my question to him how it's possible that Prime stops working as I am watching it because my payment method is faulty according to them (but manage to write off the subscription) and he starts talking just shit. Just admit that you don't know and connect me to someone who does know how that can happen. In the the end I just hung up because I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with this guy and don't you know it, as I start writing this the text messages come in. Problem solved you would say just out that number in the website and you can change your phone number. Well no because I have to tell the number to the guy who I hung up with because the texts weren't coming in 😒. Now I should call them back but I think I'll wait till tomorrow hopefully the day shift will be a bit more knowledgeable on how shit works and can actually remember 4 digits.2
-
Working on my new WebSite/Shop while discovering an Error....
I got a "Download" button as <input> that triggers an JS-Script that makes a POST-Request to a target=_blank, that downloads the file via a header (so that people won't know where the content is located, but I blocked the source with .htaccess, too)
So the error: While testing in Mozilla everything worked fine, but as soon as I switched to Chrome THAT FUCKING STUPID DOWNLOAD PAGE WON'T FUCKING OPEN! I HAD TO CHANGE IT FROM AN INPUT TO AN DIV AND TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT IT COSTED ME FUCKING 1 HOUR! FUCK YOU CHROME! FUCK YOU! YES YOU FUCK YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! MOZILLA IS FASTER WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL USE YOU BESIDES OF PORN! OH WAIT I DON'T EVEN WATCH PORN BETTER UNINSTALL YOU NOW! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU6 -
I DESPISE languages that enforce a style on you because "muh community code consistency". Like ok, I understand it, but if it gets to a point where I cannot configure *MY* IDE to format *MY* code the way I want I'm gonna get pissed at you. Why does it matter to you if my project uses 2 or 4 spaces? At least give me the option to disable your fucking formatter and use my IDE's default one.
Fuck you Dart.16 -
You seriously telling me that I can hand the same fucking html/css whatever to different browsers and they'll render it differently? I have fucking safari and firefox look the same/as expected but fucking chrome looks different.
What the fuck, why can't we have a single standard and have it be followed. I assume some super smart fuckers getting paid mad dosh are responsible for getting this shit done and wrangling all us retards running around flinging shit around doing any sort of web work. Related : https://xkcd.com/927/ but I am no less angry and butthurt. Fuck css. I'm still fucking boggled, why the fuck can I hand over the same fucking input and some special fucking snowflake decides to process it differently I'd like to think they should output the same fucking shit.
Plot twist: maybe chrome's rendering it properly but firefox and safari are both misrendering it the same way?
And I can't wait for QA to get back to me on how it looks on fucking IE and edge when I get sick of this shit and if I ever finish.3 -
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.4 -
Can someone suggest me a good, cheap phone with good battery?
I think at least 4000mAh and around 200€
My Touchscreen broke and I don't have enough money for a good flagship...5 -
I hate my Scrum Master. Normally he doesn't even checks pull requests, and when you need his help, 80% of the time he's missing. Now that our boss is the new Product Owner of the application, the SM is bugging us A LOT
So fuck him, go away to do whatever the fuck you did before. Stop pretending you "work" -
first of all, fuck you Google!
So my phone, out of nowhere, decided to download the backup of Photos and all of the pictures of my ex are WIDE and clear to me. Every time I want to post something with a picture she pops up and seeing an image with her makes me feel more and more guilty, so fuck you google! I hope you're happy, I cannot sleep anymore!4 -
While building this site I decide to check if it works in internet explorer (you know, would be kinda nice) only to find out that apparently even edge does not support the js notation:
class MyClass {
// Stuff here.
}
Throws an exception 'MyClass' is undefined... Fuck you ie. Making me rewrite my damn classes.2 -
I'll fucking kill you bitch who the fuck made you the system administrator of this fucking college? The fuckery you do... god damn some students know more than you and you should agree to this fact. The previous sysadmin was knowledgeable and you are just a fucking worker in the finance department. You fucking dare not call yourself a sysadmin when you can't even read the fucking docs provided by the G Suite. At least you didn't make the mail server yourself otherwise god knows what the shit you'd have spread around.
FUCK YOU12 -
Co-worker: I started having this issue like two weeks ago.
Me: Two weeks ago? Why are you only telling me now?
Co-worker: I dunno. I just stopped using <program> and worked around it.
Me: Thanks for the notice, man. That helped me tremendously /s -_-
FUCKING PUT IN A TICKRT OR TELL ME THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. -
Fuck you drupal and your gibberish arrays. what the fuck. and the size of those, it's easier to swallow a cactus than to understand.
Fuck trying to assign a default value to a field, it is about as easy as solving the middle east conflicts. FUCK! -
From one pc problem to the next, today while I thought everything was fine, my pc probably overheated and now the motherboard doesn't seem to boot anymore (rgb turns on, but the lights indicating the current step of the boot don't). I panicked and thought maybe it was the CPU, because it was my first time applying thermal paste and did the thing where I ripped the cooler off the motherboard and the CPU attached to it, which I only learned in retrospect that that was a thing. I slightly bent 2 CPU pins doing that.
So far no reason to be overly pissed than panicked, but then I decided to ask on r/pcmasterrace (or masterinsolent) and boy, probable because I mentioned the game I was playing I was only getting responses like "OP dumb, game doesn't do that. I love this game so much I let the developers fuck my wife while I am playing" instead of trying to help or clear up misunderstandings.
Thankfully a system/server admin I know was able to provide me with advice to fix the bent pins, but the motherboard itself still seems pretty dead.
I'll plug the cpu into my older motherboard tomorrow and see if that might be the reason. If you have additional advice, I would appreciate it2 -
If you're using .NET for your backend, go fuck yourself. Can't stand these bullshit Microsoft tools/products and these bullshit enterprise developers! They also make our front-end/mobile development lives hell. Why can't you be straightforward you piece of shit? Why does Microsoft deviate from the dev norm in a worse way?!16
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View