Magento is a special kind of tool.
- >20GiB of files? ✔
- >1 GB database? ✔
- Memory needed for scripts >768 MB? ✔
- Script max. exec. time 5 hours? ✔
- Slow ass website? FUCKING ✔
- Slower deployment than a vote on a country wide legislation? FUCKING ✔
- Shitty crap pile of STD-ridden code? I BET YOUR STINKING ✔

Magento, sincerely, please die in agony.

  • 4
    Sounds like a dev problem
  • 1
    @Bitwise Thank you!
  • 2
    I hear you, brother.
    2 weeks into my current job (which was 95% magento in the beginning) my supervisor coined the term "over-engineered abomination" regarding magento.
  • 2
    Do you face the problem of having to deploy static content 2 times because first time there is always something missing, and clearing cache like 3 times... Even setting permissions sometimes more then one time....
  • 1
    @Bitwise thank you :) posted to our slack channel ;)
  • 2
    Whenever you land on an e-commerce site and it takes about 5 seconds minimum to load the next page.. You'll know you're on a Magento platform. 😌
  • 0
    @Bitwise That's awesome! I wish this website would be that fast.
  • 1


    Except that you use cpanel, cpanel is crap.
  • 1

    No, then I know that the devs are crappy.
  • 0
    @Bitwise I just found out that in case of an exception during login (in developer mode, v2.1.12), magento shows the given username AND password in fucking cleartext in the stacktrace (methid parameters)... WTF.
    OK it's not too big of a problem as long as it does not show up in the log files...😅
  • 1
    Have you ever seen "PrestaShop"? That shit is even worse, and it has an awesome built-in feature: half of the code has variables and comments... in French :/
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